Chapter 2
The poorly lit room appeared to be a stage in distant dream. It was exactly how I imagined it in my all consuming nightmares.
The panel of evaluators sat ready to prosecute me. And the younger men stood on either side with the common position held by body guards.
Did they really expect me to attack like some person on a psychotic break?
My breathing sped as I took in the strict expressions of the judges. They were analyzing me like they expected me to do a miraculous trick or something.
"Hi." I said awkwardly giving a small flourishing wave.
"Hello. Now please tell us about yourself, where you trained, how you heard about our spot at the school, and state why you deserve to be here Miss Dwyer." The older man in a gray tailored suit said in a cutting voice.
The maddening heat of my blush rose just under my skin coloring my fair complexion, but I couldn't bow my head down in embarrassment like I used to do. That Bella Swan had disappeared.
I tilted my chin up and sucked in my breath, "My name is Sarah Dwyer. I have been living with my Grandfather recently in Forks, Washington. I am 16 and a sophomore. I have never had professional training besides dance when I was very little. I learned mostly from watching television and my friend who danced. And I heard about the auditions from an internet blog." I paused looking for a reaction from the impassive adjudicators.
"And why do you belong here. There are hundreds of more experienced dancers and singers. All you know is that you want to be here, right? Why do you deserve this opportunity of a lifetime?" Asked that same arbitrator.
"Sir, in all due respect, this is without a doubt my dream. I love to dance and act elegant. Singing has been something that I have always done in blissful happiness. I not only want this because of any of the available scholarship offered or opened opportunities; I want to have the ability to ascertain how to be better. I am so passionate about this that I can't even express it in words. I think that you would accept me, because even though these other people have had the preparation, they don't know more than that. They never had to teach themselves. I have taught myself to dance, I can play 3 different instruments, I know I can sing, and well. I might sound like some egotistically, self-centered girl, but it is the truth. So please give me the chance to show you what I can do. Let me show you the variety I have erudite. If I am so awful then throw me out of the second round of auditions."
I watched as the men and women looked towards the most prestigious man centered in the middle, the one who had asked me the questions.
"We will do just that. But we might as well tell you that you will be judged far harsher than any other. To us you are just another person off the street. We don't mean to be austere or stark, but we have to make the right decision and not allow someone who will fail in this school. Good luck. It seems you will need it the most. You can exit on the door to your right and we will call on you to audition in the next round at a quarter 'til 12." He peered over half-crescent glasses.
I walked away from the room heavy-heartedly. My throat was constricting painfully. Outside the room was a hall way with other students and possible students waiting to see who would get the seat.
I went sat into one of the many benches in the hall way in a thin-skinned manner.
"Bad interview?" A petite dark-haired teenager that beside me guessed. "Don't worry too much. It's the same thing for everyone. In fact, if you aren't picked on a bit that's a bad thing. Just think of this interview as the antediluvian of the try-outs. Just pray that you end up on the ark. That's what I did."
"Are you dancer or musician?"
"No. If I tried to dance I would look like a flayed chicken. I play Cello." She smiled a bright smile.
"I'm Sarah. Sarah Dwyer."
"My name's Angela Weber. So what's your style; Musician, dancer, Artist?"
"I'm a Musician and dancer." I answered in a quiet.
"Have you played anywhere I would have heard of?"
"Probably not. I presented myself at the local places near my home."
"Well that's too bad. I would have loved to have heard you." Behind Angela, a tall boy called out.
"That's my boyfriend, I have to go." I watched her small frame join the flow of the crowd through the hall.
As soon as Angela left, my frayed nerves rose to the surface. I held my hands that were becoming my shaky by the second.
I started worrying about the next stage. Would everyone be better than me? What if I choked? What would I do if I couldn't get in? Would I go back to forks, go through high school, and then be come some wife to a husband that would stay in forks for the rest of our miserable lives?
A small child like hand gripped my arm startling me out of my semi-fetal position that I had unconsciously assembled into "Umm, are you okay?"
I looked up to notice the person who had asked the question. I felt immediately shied by her looks.
This girl was pixie-like with an upturned nose, high arching cheekbones, and gray blue eyes. Her black hair was spiked in a professionally done updo. Her build was slender and short.
She had to be one of the most attractive girls I had met.
Even as I sat, I could feel my own looks taking a hit.
"I'm sorry if I bothered you, but you looked like you were about to have a panic attack." Her face was sympathetic and cloaked with an expression of genuine concern.
My face blushed brightly at the idea of having someone watching me front and center while I was in such a state of panic.
"My name's Alice. I'm in the art and design aspect of the schools program. You're here trying out for one of the spaces, right?"
I smiled weakly at her.
"Wow, I feel bad for you. When I tried out for a spot all I had to do was enter some of my pieces and create an outfit to show the judges. The people trying out today have it so much harder. I couldn't imagine standing in front showing any athletic or instrumental talent. You know, it's a shame you aren't an artist. Of course, they would have to have an opening, but if they did you could have classes with me. I mean art classes, not normal scholastic classes. I can already tell that we are going to be amazing friends. By the way, I love what you did with your outfit. The brooch with your skirt is just too adorable. And is your bag a Valentino?"
I watched somewhat amused as she seemed to say this without taking a breath of air in.
"Thanks Alice, and it is. I got it last week." I answered shyly. I looked at her outfit to politely compliment it. A white ruffle top with black lace lay over light blue jeans. A black and blue sequin arm band and a blue, white, and black ring lay on Alice's right appendage. Dark blue ring earrings and a blue and white necklace added more details. Her black pumps and a leather eyelet bag finished the look.
"Yours is really cool, too." I said bashfully.
"If you get in, which I hope you do, you can hang out with some of my friends. I'm sure they would love you."
"It'd be interesting if we hung out. I hope we can." I looked at the clock over the stairs. "Can I talk to you later? I need to change before the auditions."
"Sure, uh, good luck…"
"Sarah." I supplied.
I took my bag to the rest room, entered it, went into the stalls, pulling out the athletic shorts, pale pink dance dress, and the ballerina flats and began to get on my clothes. I stepped out of the stall and went out to the mirror.
I looked pale. Even more than usual.
The blond wig used to cover up my normally dark wavy hair caused the pales to be more extreme. My blue eye contacts looked far to dark and my skin too sickly.
Turning on the facets I pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail with only two strands of curls hanging strategically in my face.
I looked into the bag and pulled out my choker. My mothers. It was as beautiful as it was the last day she had worn it. I fastened it around my neck and looked into the mirror.
I looked just like she would have wanted. Strong yet still having a softer edge.
I hummed the song she used to sing in an attempt to calm myself even further.
Flashback
Baby
Look in the mirror
Count to three
What do you see
Besides…
Me!
"Mom… We're in a public place." I was whining like a five year old. You would too if your mom asked you to sing in the very public diner that everyone went to
"Hon. It doesn't matter." She reprimanded me. "You should share your voice. If I could sing I wouldn't be able to stop." She looked down with a smile.
I looked at my harebrain mother and wondered if her eccentric and unconventional ways were heredity or contagious.
I looked down at my feet trying to hide my maddeningly red face and started to sing.
End of flashback
That was how I got my first job at the diner 6 months before I caused the deaths of Renee and Charlie.
I looked up at the mirror and was taken aback to see tears fall down my face.
Jeez… sometimes the memories are better than the reality. Especially the reality I caused.
I swiped furiously at the tears. I was supposedly over this. The nightmares weren't gone but I had moved through all stages of withdrawal.
I thought I had finely coped with the pain.
A loud thump sounded behind me and startled me into seeing two teenagers in a making-out like it was time for a goal celebration.
Oh gross.
The bronze boy and strawberry blond had their backs to me.
Feeling frustrated and strictly disgusted out, I coughed slightly.
No response. The girl began tugging the boy and herself farther in front of the only door out of the bathroom.
Taking my hand, I turned on the facet and ran my fingers under the water.
Aiming, I flicked the water at the teenagers.
"Yo, Justin Gaston and Ms. May, mind moving your arses. I kind of want out of here before you rip each others clothes off." I might have been a little harsh but I was thoroughly sickened by the PDA.
I looked away as Thing 1 and 2 detached themselves from each and left the room without a word or giving me another look.
This day couldn't get any more nightmarish unless I tried out for a role on Elmstreet.
I looked down at the watch hands. Only 3 minutes. I looked once at my appearance and then exited the little lavatory.
I walked as calmly as possible and joined the large group of people waiting outside the theater door in the lobby.
It wasn't long before the door opened and the large crowd flooded through the doors.
Inside the room, a proscenium stage dominated the northern wall with chairs turned to it. Dark maroon carpet covered the floors.
The judge from the other room was standing behind a tall podium on the left side of the stage.
"Welcome. We are about to start. First, we are going to separate you into three groups, where our specialized judge will let you do what ever you had prepared for the show. Afterwards you will be given a piece that you will need to learn. It will be preformed in front of us. Based on this we will narrow down to 10 final participants that will need to show all there qualifications. This will be assessed through a final interview process."
A woman in tan khaki pants and a dark red blouse with a gold brooch walked to the apron of the stage.
"Hello, I'm the administrator of the school. You will be judged in separate groups. Please grab your belongings and move over to the group. On the left, dancers, the middle section is for the musicians, and the last group is the chorale group. If you are able to do more than one talent, you will wait in the group that is up first then join the other party. Now, this will be a long process so you can have mp3 players and iPods on, but they must be silent. If any sound goes off you will be immediately expelled from the auditions and escorted off the premises. At SPU, we take are auditions extremely serious. Go ahead and get in your section and good luck. The first group will be dancers."
All at once everyone was moving. I clutched my items in my hands and ambled to the dance group who were finding areas to stretch.
I moved farther from the group and turned on my iPod to an aceppella version of Greensleeves.
While I was stretching, I noticed a few people in the rafters of the stage space. One of which was Alice. I smiled and gave a small nod, which she returned with such an enthusiastic wave that she knocked the girl next to her.
I tried to hide the grin that was going to appear on my face.
Overhead the loudspeakers sounded
"5 minutes left until we start. Please take a seat."
I grabbed one of the first rows seats. Going first was far better than going last worrying about you own turn.
On my right was a girl with chestnut curls about 15. On the other side was a studious blonde.
Both were so nervous that they had the expressions of a field mouse caught by the owl.
I, myself, thought that my stomach was about to curdle into pieces. But I kept up the serene masquerade.
I watched as the first dancer got up. I could see she was visible shaking. She began her slow contemporary dance.
She was okay, honest. But she did stumble a few times and went off beat once or twice before her song ended.
Then, it came to the assigned piece from the judge.
She went up to the center to start and I have to admit that it was bad. The entire time she tried to dance she was awkward and adamant.
I felt terrible for her. She was the first one up and she probably had no idea what to expect.
She left the stage in tears before the judges even had time to stop her for the interview.
Would she be disqualified?
Soon the judges, called for the auditions to start again.
The next few people went up and did there own trials.
None of them were as awful as the first audition but I could tell that they weren't the best.
I had felt my nerves settle as I watched the people go up and do a moderate job of showing their own abilities.
I do not have an ego, but for once, I felt confident that was good and that I could do my part and not be appalling.
It finally became my turn to go up and do my own piece.
I set myself up to start my piece.
The blare of the music filed out flowing over the stage.
Then I started. I did everything I had practiced. The Spins, flips, and kicks were performed to my best standard.
The elation I felt when I started to dance joined my already exuberant state of being causing me to leap higher, pirouette better, and my Chaine' Turns became sharper and more prominent than usual.
By the end of the song, I was faintly flushed with excitement and standing steady waiting readily for my next task.
I felt a little sense of relief that I wasn't huffing and puffing like some amateur would
The judge gave a little sign for me to start as some soft classical music played.
I moved fluently across the stage careening left and right combining the different styles I had learned until the music turned off.
The judges nodded in dismissal and then I joined the instrumental group.
A long time passed as the last dancers filed on to the stage and did there pieces.
Then, the instrumental group headed up.
Like before I waited for everyone to complete there auditions. Since, I had joined the group later than others I was one of the last people.
This was the really boring part. Mostly everyone chose Bach, Mozart, or some other classical music.
I liked listening to the pieces, but it is so common and mostly everyone has heard their songs.
Even as I thought this, my eyes started to drift.
A light broke through the dark. Rain poured around me instantly soaking my body. Shivers rippled through me, and a panicking scream destroyed any tranquility that I had. Through the utter blankness of night, a river flowed. I walked towards it with out any conscious decision. Something was on the other side. Something I couldn't live without. The dramatic atmosphere was tense, but all I felt was a string in my gut that pulled me towards the rivulet. The whispering of the brook thundered like a waterfall but there was none in sight. Wind howled and trees swayed and scraped against one another. Small twigs snapped under my petite weight causing angry cracks to join the cacophony of noises. Pain erupted from the raggedness of the natural gravel and brushwood under my feet and the pricks from thorns of wild roses that were barren except for the sharp barbs. The tugging returned in strength sending me into a wave of spiraling dizziness. My feet picked up speed and the slapping of the twigs in my face caused me to claw forward through the weeds, trees, roots, and vines that blocked my path. My breath was ragged and harsh even with all the noises that were sounding. I was almost there. I pushed past but the river was desiccated. A large crevice ran along the entire basin cutting me off from what had been on the other side. My stomach heaved. I looked over to the edge of the forest line on the other side and saw Him. He stood with the knife raised to attack. A scream echoed over and over and over again replaying the scream that was there that night. He was running at someone with his long lean steps. The steps of a hunter stalking its prey. I looked at the fleeing outline and there stood…
"Wake UP." I jolted out of my seat trying to ignore the pain and tears rushing to the surface.
"It's your turn next." I looked at the girl and silently looked as the boy on stage finished.
He was walking off with a disappointed face.
I stood up, walked slowly over to the stage trying to keep my emotions in balance, and crossed the stage and headed over to the beautiful grand piano that was set in the middle of the back end of the room.
I put the music for Muse's Exogenesis Symphony Cross Pollination on the music stand and began to play.
I tried to keep the tears from overflowing and just listened to the song.
I loved the song. I had chosen it because it was a very modern piece that had the air of mystery and beauty that old classical works managed to include.
The notes floated out in a sonorous melodious pattern.
I closed my eyes in an attempt to just listen and absorb the sounds as the music from the piano began to sound like waves, following multiple crescendo and decrescendo.
A man nodded and pointed to the folder beside the piano. I opened it and found a page of notes. I set it on the music stand and looked over it carefully.
It was a song I had never seen. The notes were light and quick so I was careful to look over everything.
When it came to the time to play, I flowed easily through with only minor mistakes
I little breath slipped out in my relief at having this part completed
I finished the song and left the stage has quickly as possible.
An hour or two had passed when I was called on for the last time.
I stood on stage feeling slightly embarrassed at the fact that I was being watched by a majority of the people.
I could see their curious expressions that were trying to decipher if I was capable of singing as well as my other talents.
I stood in the dead center of the stage and took in one deep breath, exhaling all the nerves like I always had.
I felt myself drift into a pleasant calmness as I thought how I had picked the perfect song to blow the judges away.
It was slightly folkish and perfectly suitable for the auditions. Even the lyrics suited how I felt.
De deh dehhhhh
There's a cold fire
there's a crossfire
and there's something
inside, inside
As I sang I could see the look of pleased happiness from the judges. The children who were trying out had dramatically different expressions. My of them had concern or aggravation etched on their face.
and we'll never, never
make it
and we'll never, never
break it
until, until
there's a long game
that's a wrong chain
and it's something
we all hide it
inside
and we'll never, never make it
and we'll never, never break it
until we learn to see
until we set free
and you got style
and you got grace
and you got the means
to leave that place
but you'll never, never make it
and you'll never, never break it
until you learn to see
until you set free
so set free
set free
set free
set free
De de dum de de de
De de dum de de de
free, oh
set free
if we could see that this was all that we need
inside our minds
bodies and souls
we wouldn't run and we would let go
cause we'd realize
that we had
I felt like grinning from ear to ear as I finished the song. Something about singing and being able to present yourself made the world disappear.
I watched as the judges finished taking notes. Once done they signaled for a man to cross the stage to hand a music sheet.
On the sheet, read the song These are a Few of My Favorite Things from the Sound of Music.
A sense of glee traveled up my spine and it took all of my will to suppress the large "Yes!" that wanted to rise out of my throat at the simple song I had to complete.
I read through once to get a feel for the song then nodded to the judges and began.
I started singing in a strong slow voice.
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
brown paper packages tied up with strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels,
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things.
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.
When the dog bites, when the bee stings,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
brown paper packages tied up with strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels,
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things.
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.
When the dog bites, when the bee stings,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.
As I finished holding the last note. I could see the judges scribbling ferociously on a there papers. For some reason, the thought made me cringe.
I mean, I understood they were there to judge but even the idea that one of their notes could be "God, what a hideous voice" made me want to be ill.
Everyone had already been questioned and reviewed, everyone except me.
I walked back over to the one of the two blue plastic chairs and sat down as delicately as possible.
I watched a judge come over from the side.
The questioner was a slightly plumped middle age man with a scruffy white beard and kind gray eyes.
"Just try and relax and answer the questions truthfully."
"Yes, sir." I said in a small humbled voice.
"What type of lessons did you take and from where?"
"Mostly a childhood friend and YouTube." Behind me I could hear the tweeting of laughing kids.
"Pardon?"
"Um, on YouTube, they post lessons. I took that as instrumental training and learned dance techniques. And I learned how to sing from a friend. Singing came naturally, so I never required much help from her." The tittering of laughs stopped.
He looked slightly startled but thankfully moved on, "Is there an area in dance that you don't like?"
"Well, what I have tried I enjoyed. Just being able to move around is always amazing and invigorating."
"What is your vocal range?"
"My range can go up to the whistle registry."
"Have you ever been on academic suspension or expulsion?"
"No." I looked hesitantly, unsure why he was asking questions that could be easily researched.
"What is your grade point average?"
"4.0"
"Can you play any other instruments than the piano?"
"Yes, sir. Electric and acoustic guitar, the flute, and drums."
"Any extracurricular activities?" I ducked my head down in embarrassment.
"I was on the newspaper committee, I was vice president on my school's committee, I have been on my girls soccer, basketball, and swim team. I carried a job for over 2 years. And I participated in community service since age 11."
"Okay I think we are done here." I looked up questioningly at the shortness of the questions and the brusqueness of the man's voice.
He stood up and announced to the rest of the people who had waited "Go on into the lobby and mingle. Since today is a break for are regular students you can mingle.
I left with the rest of the group to the lunch line where half the local populace were waiting.
The court yard where everyone was seated was beautiful. It was so bright and open, that I wasn't aware of the small group of girls slowly approaching.
The tap on the shoulder alerted me to their presence. I turned to see the girl from the auditions.
"Is it true you haven't had any training?" Asked the tallest of the girls.
"Uh, no. I did work at a local diner though."
"Well, you were one of the best there." At that, she looked down right depressed.
"I doubt that. I'm trying out for a scholarship. If I can't get it than I have to go back with my family."
"Oh, that would suck." Yeah right. I noticed the gleeful look when I mentioned the word scholarship.
"HEY! Sarah." I looked around as someone called my pseudonym of a name. Alice was sitting at one of the brightly colored lunch tables.
"Can I talk to you later?" I asked the girls who were awkwardly crowding around. They nodded and left. But I could catch the whisper of one girl saying, "Wow! She even caught the attention of the Cullens and Hales."
I turned and walked towards Alice who bouncing hyperactively in her seat. I approached the table hesitantly to the table.
I really liked Alice, but I was still shocked when she jumped up and gave a hulk sized hug that was surprising because of her size.
Bella, this is Emmett my brother, Jasper my boyfriend and that girl over there is Jasper's sister, Rosalie." I watched as she pointed out each of her friends.
I was in absolute awe. Of course Alice would have such striking friends. You know the saying; Birds of a feather flock together.
Emmett was one of the largest men I have ever seen. I don't mean he is heavy or overweight. He was built like a professional weightlifter or an underground street fighter.
Massive muscles bulged out framing his tall build in a more ample way than most men usually looked. He seemed like a colossal bear.
A handsome one at that.
Short, light brown curls danced around his face, lapis lazuli blue eyes and round cheeks gave him a slightly childlike view, causing me to be at ease around him despite his substantial size.
Beside him a girl, Rosalie, held onto his hand in a clearly possessive way that screamed "He's mine!"
Her blonde hair flowed down almost as straight as sheet metal.
It was a natural sun bleached blonde and almost looked satiny in the sun that beamed into the cultured area of the school's arbor.
She wore a yellow dress with a flower print that had been cultivated neatly into a crisp smoothness with a clothes iron.
A ring of blue stones accented the color of her hair and dress and showed the smoothness of her tan flawless skin.
Highly arched cheekbones and icy blue eyes showed a steeliness that made me think of a model ready to catwalk down the middle of a fashion show.
I felt envy as I took in her perfect appearance, long legs, and a confidence that just radiated from her.
I looked away before she could see the little green monster in me rear its ugly head.
I looked to the Jasper.
He was tall, handsome, and with shaggy straw blonde hair.
His eyes were amazing. Storm filled and compassionate.
I didn't realize how intently I was analyzing the others until Alice's voice broke through my thoughts.
"We have another brother around here, but he must be with some of his friends…"
"Or his skanky girl friend." Rosalie said vehemently.
"Rosalie, stop, he isn't that bad."
"Alice, no, he is that bad. In fact, he is worse. He is such a man-whore, it isn't even funny. He has a new girl friend every time someone more talented or prettier comes along."
"Yeah, Alice, you know Edward's loose. He gets what every man wants. An upgrade." Rosalie glared at him.
"Every man except me, Rosy. You know that you're they only one for me." He gave her a boyish grin that caused her scowl to soften. I giggled in response to their exchange.
"It might just be this school." I chimed in, "Before my auditions, in the bathrooms, I saw a girl and guy making out like it was the end of the world ."
"Oh well, lets not talk about that. I want to know more about you. Is it true you never trained?"
"Yeah." I looked down nervously trying to hide the blush.
"That's amazing. I heard the judges were shell-shocked."
"I hope that means I will get in."
I sat down as they asked me questions, but felt relief as there questions strayed to gossip on the possible new arrivals and the latest news. Alice and Rosalie talked about clothes and shopping trips, and the boys talked about the latest camping trip and the coolest movie.
I smiled distantly and tried to listen as they talked, but I was instantly thinking back to that dream.
A/N: The links to the outfits and storyboard are on my profile. Sorry about the errors.
I tried to go back and proofread.
Please review!