When it was all over, and Beth Halloran was laid to rest in the morgue once more, Jack found Ianto in the SUV, sitting in the driver's seat with the door open, head back and eyes closed. He wondered if Ianto was asleep and debated whether to wake him or let him doze for a while, but Ianto cocked open one eye and rolled his head toward him.

"I'm awake," he murmured. Jack grinned.

"Could've fooled me," he replied. "What with the eyes and all."

"Just thinking," said Ianto, but then yawned. "Really."

Jack frowned. "Are you all right?" When Ianto nodded, he continued. "You're not upset about the sticky stuff on the SUV?"

Ianto offered him a weak smile. "Warm, soapy water, exactly like you said," he replied.

"And I missed it?" Jack teased. "Damn."

"Should've let you scrub it yourself," Ianto murmured, his eyes falling closed again. Jack laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you sure you're all right?" he asked. "Come here." He helped Ianto out of the car and pulled him into an embrace. Ianto stiffened, then relaxed, though not completely. Jack wasn't looking for anything more, however, he was only hoping to comfort.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly. "Is it Beth?"

Ianto stepped away and ran a hand through his hair. Jack motioned toward a nearby kerb, and they sat down side by side. He'd have preferred to talk in his office, with a drink in hand, but now seemed the time.

"Not really," said Ianto. "I mean, I feel bad about what happened to her, about shooting her, but I think she…she wanted to die human, not part of an alien sleeper cell. She died with dignity."

Jack was silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to word his next sentence. "You seemed off on this case," he offered. "Bit more dry than usual."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. Jack shrugged. "Fine, Owen thought you were a smart ass, Tosh said you were witty. Why so much verbal repartee?" Jack was especially curious about Gwen's bedroom comment and Ianto's snarky reply, but he'd ask about that later.

Ianto turned away and stared off across the car park. "Dunno," he finally replied. "Just more wound up than usual, I suppose. Nervous energy, maybe."

"Was it hard, seeing Beth like that?" Jack asked quietly. "It was kind of similar to, well…"

"To Lisa?" Ianto finished. "Maybe a little, but Beth was alien from the beginning, hidden here for a purpose. She wasn't taken over, tortured, corrupted."

"True," Jack murmured. "But at the end…" He trailed off again, unable to point out the similarities in Beth's execution with Lisa Hallet's death. He'd been worried that the situation might trigger unpleasant memories for Ianto, but apparently something else was bothering him. Ianto leaned forward, hands clasped on his knees, which was when Jack somehow noticed the streak of blood on Ianto's temple, a small dark stain on his shirt, red under his nails. Jack sat up quickly.

"What happened?" he demanded, grabbing the other man and beginning to examine him. "You're hurt, where is it? That's why you're like this, you've lost too much blood!"

He tried to pull Ianto up, but the other man refused to move, dead weight on the pavement. "I'm fine," he said, sounding tired, but Jack ignored him.

"You're bleeding!" he exclaimed. "What happened? Did Beth hurt you? Was it something in the archives? We should get you to the medical bay, I'll call Owen—"

This time Ianto let himself be hauled to his feet and ushered into the lift back to the Hub. He rolled his eyes. "Jack, stop pushing me! It's not my blood," he said.

Jack stared at him, raised his hand toward the streak on Ianto's face. "Whose is it then?"

"It's yours," Ianto replied.

"Mine?" Jack whispered. The lift stopped and they stared at one another. Ianto broke eye contact first and stepped out.

"I should clean up," he muttered.

Jack followed him, redirecting the Welshman toward his office.

"Or you can tell me what happened, and how come you're covered in my blood," he said, not bothering to shut the door behind them as they were the only ones still at the Hub.

"I should think it was obvious!" Ianto exclaimed, shaking him off. "You did bleed out all over the SUV, after all."

"Oh," said Jack. He sometimes forgot what a mess dying could be.

"Oh," Ianto mocked. "Christ, Jack, what were you thinking? That I wouldn't notice the stain? Or the stickiness? Or the smell? You could have told me!"

"You're not really upset about the aerial, are you?" Jack asked slowly. And all of a sudden, like a violent cloudburst on a sunny day, Ianto let loose his ire.

"Of course I am! Bad enough that you defaced the SUV with duct tape and wire, but then to go and die on the inside, blood everywhere, soaking the seats and the carpets and the—" He choked on his last words and sank onto the sofa in Jack's office, his head falling into his hands.

"I'm sorry," Jack said softly, sitting down next to him. "I didn't even think of it. It's been a while."

Ianto snorted inelegantly. "You mean, a whole three weeks since you fell off a building? Or are you so used to hiding it from us that it's a habit? How many times have you been killed by a Weevil since then? Shot? Alien tech gone wrong?"

Jack tried very hard to contain his own angry response, knowing that this was about Ianto and his reaction. Jack had been dying and reviving for over a hundred years; for Ianto and the others it was still shocking and new.

"Since I returned, none," Jack replied as evenly as he could. "It's not pleasant, and after spending a year dying every other day, I'd like to avoid it if I can."

Ianto's eyes closed, his face abashed. "But today you couldn't," he whispered.

"Today I couldn't," Jack agreed. When Ianto was silent, Jack continued. "Look, it's not like I won't come back. I will. And I'm sorry about the SUV, I'll take it in—"

Ianto laughed bitterly. "Already clean, sir. I managed to get most of it out, although it will still need a good detailing. And it's not about the car."

"It's about me," Jack sighed.

"You died," Ianto said, his voice breaking.

"And I came back."

Ianto turned to look at him, his eyes rimmed red. "What's it like?" he asked.

Jack let his eyes slip closed. "It's painful, more painful than you could possibly imagine." He opened them to gaze at Ianto. "And even worse coming back, but it's worth it every time."

"Someday you might not wake up," Ianto pointed out, though it was stated as more of a question.

Jack shook his head. "I will always come back. Forever."

Ianto studied him before gazing out into the Hub. "Gwen knew," he said, his voice quiet, the note of accusation well-hidden, but there none the less. "How is it that we've all been here so much longer, seen so much more, but she knew?"

Jack blew out a long breath. "She was there the night Suzie died. Suzie shot me in the head before she shot herself. Gwen saw everything."

"And you didn't want to Retcon her, or make up stories like you did for the rest of us?" Ianto asked. Again, the hint of bitterness was only heard because Jack knew what to listen for.

"She'd already broken through the Retcon once," Jack said slowly, trying to piece it together himself. It had been a gut decision, to let Gwen know the truth. The opportunity had presented itself and he had taken it. It had felt good to know that someone on the team shared his secret, had his back. "And as I wanted her for the team, it seemed better to let her keep her memories than spin a tale."

"You didn't trust the rest of us," Ianto said sadly.

"That's not true," Jack said, his voice firm. "I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to know, it's as simple as that. It's not about trust."

"But you trusted her and you didn't even know her," Ianto pointed out. "So in a way, it is."

"Ianto, what's this really about?" Jack asked, leaning back against the sofa. "I feel like there's multiple conversations going here, and I'm not sure which one to follow."

Ianto glanced up at him finally, offered a small smile. "Sorry. I suppose I got to thinking and couldn't stop."

"I've heard thinking is bad for your health," Jack joked, and Ianto laughed shortly through his nose.

"It's why I try not to, sir," he said with a shrug. "It makes things more complicated."

"What things?"

Ianto was quiet for so long Jack didn't think he'd get an answer, though he suspected he knew what Ianto was thinking about. Beth and the sleeper cell they'd barely stopped in time, life and death and the end of the world they'd once again avoided. But Ianto surprised him again.

"You," he said. "Me. Us."

"Us," Jack repeated. If his heart sped up, he tried not to notice; whether it was from hope or fear he had no idea, probably both.

"I miss it," Ianto said softly, avoiding Jack's eyes. "The way things used to be. Before Lisa died, before you went back to 1941. It was…" He trailed off with another shrug, apparently unable to find the right word.

"It was good," Jack finished for him. "And going in the right direction."

"I don't know about that," Ianto replied. "It was completely dysfunctional and—"

"Hot," Jack said. "Very, very hot."

Ianto laughed out loud. "Yes, it was that. I definitely miss that."

"Me too," said Jack. "But I miss the other things more. We can get them back, you know."

"I don't know how," Ianto replied. "So many things have changed."

"Like what?" Jack asked. This was his chance, finally, to finish the talk they'd started at the hotel. He wanted to work it out.

"You died tonight," said Ianto. "You bled out all over the car, not to mention your coat. I like that coat," he added with a reprimanding look.

This time Jack laughed. "I know you do. But I'll come back Ianto, I promise."

Ianto studied his eyes. "I don't like that you have to go through that."

Jack couldn't help but reach out and run his hand along Ianto's face, through his hair and behind his ear, down his neck to his shoulder. "I don't either," he whispered, trying not to tear up.

"What if you don't come back one day?"

"I will," said Jack.

"But if you don't?" Ianto persisted.

"I will," Jack repeated. "I'm an impossible thing. I will always come back."

Ianto seemed to be struggling with what he wanted to say. "Try to avoid it, maybe?" he suggested, his voice rough. "Just in case?"

"As much as I can," Jack agreed.

Ianto was silent again, then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could trust me enough to tell me," he said. "I wish that I could do more, be more, that I—"

Jack stopped him by leaning forward and kissing him. He couldn't help it. It wasn't something Ianto should be apologizing for. It wasn't his fault that Jack hadn't told him. Jack knew the Welshman was smarting over the fact that Gwen knew about Jack's immortality, but it wasn't a question of trusting Gwen more than the others. It had been a matter of circumstance. It had grown into trust and friendship, but now…now Jack trusted Ianto more than anyone he'd known for a long time.

To his surprise, Ianto returned the kiss without hesitation. In fact, he kissed Jack with some of the same desperation that Jack felt, the same desire to move on, to be together, to stop thinking and worrying and just feel. Ianto's arms came up around Jack's shoulders, and Jack pulled him closer around the waist, eyes closed as he relished the moment, hoping it would never end.

And then it did.

An alarm went off in the main Hub, startling them both so that they literally fell apart, breathing heavily and staring at one another. Jack was dazed and confused and leaned forward, fully intending to ignore the sound and continue. But of course Ianto was the rational one, who shook his head and stopped him. Jack swore under his breath.

"Duty calls," Ianto murmured as Jack's lips hovered close. Ianto kissed him chastely, then stood up, holding out his hand. Jack took it and held tight.

"I hate being interrupted," he grumbled.

Ianto gave him a sideways grin. "At least it's not a homicidal UNIT officer."

"Probably a Weevil," Jack sighed. "Talk about bad timing."

Ianto headed toward his station and started pulling up information. "Looks like an unusual disturbance in…in Bristol." He paused, swallowing hard before turning toward Jack. "The Rift doesn't usually go that far. Why's it flagged for us?"

"Where in Bristol?" asked Jack. His heart was in his throat, dreading the answer. Ianto stared at him, realization dawning.

"Local pub."

"Which one?" asked Jack.

"You know which one."

"Tell me!" Jack demanded. Of course he knew. There was only one pub he'd flagged in Bristol, the one where Ianto's former barmaid had fled to after the fiasco at The Ferret eight months ago. Ianto had set her up with a new identity, a new life, even after she'd tried to send him through the Rift into intergalactic slavery. It hadn't been hard for Jack to track her down and keep an eye on her. He'd full intended on Retconning her, but after speaking with her, he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. Sort of like with Gwen Cooper.

"The Crown and the Feathers." Ianto's voice was low and angry.

"Dammit! Let's go. Full kit." He dashed back to his office for his coat and weapon, but Ianto didn't move.

"You knew."

"Not the issue right now!" Jack snapped as he grabbed his things. "We need to get there as fast as we can."

"Why?"

Jack stared at him. "What do you mean, why? We get a suspicious case, we go. It's our job!"

"Why do you care?" Ianto strode up to him, and he was livid. Jack wondered for a moment if he was going to feel that right hook again. "You knew where she was and didn't say anything! Why flag the pub?"

"To keep her safe!" Jack snapped, though it was a complete lie and Ianto knew it.

"To keep an eye on her," Ianto retorted. "Because you didn't trust me. How did you find her?"

Jack swallowed his first words, that it hadn't been hard in spite of Ianto's careful work. He took a deep breath to calm his irritation. "Does it matter?"

"Did you Retcon her?"

Jack glared at him before looking away, unable to bear the anger burning in the other man's face. "No. I was going to, but I didn't. "

"Then why?" Ianto demanded again. "Why not leave her alone? She's been through enough."

"She cooperated with an alien entity to enslave the people of this planet! Of course I was going to keep an eye on her!"

"Did you keep an eye on me too? After Lisa? After the Savior?" Ianto shook his head and took a deep breath. "Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore. Do you want me to call the others?"

Jack hesitated. "They don't know anything that happened that night, do they?"

"I never told them," Ianto stated flatly. He had his coat and his gun, as well as the scanner Tosh usually used in the field.

"I didn't either, so leave them out of it. We'll handle it ourselves."

Ianto brushed by him without another word, still visibly upset. Perhaps he was worried as well. In spite of what had happened between him and Mandy Aibiston, he'd clearly cared enough to save her, to help her move on with her life. Then again, he was that kind of person. He'd forgiven Mandy as he'd forgiven Jack.

But now Jack worried that the precarious understanding they'd reached only moments earlier was about to fall apart. It was going to be a long car ride to Bristol.

Author's Note:

Many, many thanks to my amazing beta, Taamar, who graciously allowed me to refer to her story here with regards to Mandy. As soon as she wrote it, it became headcanon for me. Of course Ianto created a new identity for Mandy Aibiston, and of course Jack tracked her down and talked to her! Please read Mending by Taamar to get the full wonderful story, and if you poke her, she might write the next part as well!