Somewhere between the middle and the edge of the Capital City on Irk, there was a small snack shop. Despite its small size, it was very popular - a line of Irkens shifting from foot to foot stretched out of the door and around the corner.

One Irken asked another, "He makes really good food, doesn't he?"

The other Irken answered, "Yeah, he's even made it onto the news!"

Another Irken walked up to the end of the line. "Wow, this place is popular."

Nobody noticed how the shadows sudden shifted unnaturally.

'Irkens...'

"What? You still have not found the Platinum Crystal?"

"No."

"Hurry! Our leader demands energy!"

"We shall find it."

"Jedite!" A shadow drew itself up and became a solid, male, human form.

"As you most likely heard, we still do not possess the Platinum Crystal. Therefore, you will go out and gather Irken energy."

"Yes, Queen Bitters."

As the human melted back into shadows, Queen Bitters stared into her... crystal ball was the closest name for it.

'Doom, doom, doom...'

Luna stared at Zim, and then checked her internal clock. She looked at Zim again, and then double checked her clock.

Zim was going to be late if he did not awaken soon.

So Luna pulled herself onto the bed and started poking him. Nothing happened. Then, remembering what had worked the first time, she tugged on his antennae. She watched as Zim shrieked in pain, fell off of the bed, and glared at her with his strongest glare. She watched as he realized that he was running late, and dashed off to guard duty.

Zim sighed in relief as he exited the ship bay. Once again, he'd had a long shift, and once again, absolutely nothing had happened. Maybe the humans knew that the Irkens would put up a good fight, and were avoiding them.

Or maybe they were waiting to take over Irk last.

Lost in hateful thoughts about the humans, Zim never noticed that Larb stuck a foot out to trip him. He tripped, and, unfortunately for him, there was a staircase right in front of him. Going down. He fell down the whole staircase, and as he got up, he gave Larb a glare, ignoring the laughter all around him.

He walked home along a different route than he normally did. He stopped in front of a snack shop. Blinking, he realized that this was the one famous for the very good food that usually had a really long line. He stepped inside.

Nobody but the owner and Zim was inside the building. The owner looked up as Zim stepped in, and smiled.

Zim looked back. The owner was an aging male with slightly sunken green eyes.

Between them, there was a counter with a delicious assortment of snack foods on it. Just looking at them almost made his mouth water.

"Did something happen here? Usually this place has a long line..."

"I imagine it might have something to do with the new competition," the owner replied, pointing across the street. Zim turned and saw a brightly colored building advertising cheap, delicious snacks. He turned back, looking at the food on the counter. Just then, he remembered that he had left all his monies at home.

"I'd buy something... but I don't have any monies with me," he said.

"Mm." Zim blinked as he was handed a donut. "Here, have this for free, as thanks for just coming in."

Zim took a bite.

The words 'good' or 'fantastic' or 'marvelous' did not even begin to describe the taste. He stared off into space for a few minutes, before snapping back to his senses.

"This soldier thanks you," he said, then turned around and started to run back home.

He did have to make sure that Luna had not destroyed his apartment, after all.

As it turned out, Luna had cleaned up it up, not destroyed it. When he entered, she was just sitting in the window, looking out over Irk.

"Your food is gone. And the Distance Food Ordering & Delivery is down for maintenance."

"Again?!"

"Yep. Somebody keeps hacking in and messing the whole thing up, apparently."

Zim groaned tiredly and grabbed some monies. Great day this was turning out to be.

Zim would have stopped by the snack shop later, but it was closed. Briefly, he contemplated going into 'Food Haven', but if he did not hurry there would be no time for him to sleep, and he was incredibly tired.

The next day, at work, Zim was just going to get his day's assignment when he noticed something odd. Larb, and several other Irkens, were standing around in a group, not talking, not moving, not looking at anything.

A few seconds later, they started throwing rocks. At machinery, at other Irkens, at anything in sight.

Zim ducked behind a table, where a pair of Irkens was also taking shelter.

"What the heck is wrong with them?" one of them wondered out loud.

"How am I supposed to know? All I do know is that all of them went to that new food place yesterday, the one that just opened a day or few ago!" the other shouted back.

Zim's eyes narrowed.

And then they widened again as he was pulled out. Larb was grinning at him strangely.

"Hello, Zim..." he said, gripping tighter. "Do you know how high a fall you can survive?" When Zim did not answer, he said, "Let's go find out, then..."

"NO!" Zim somehow managed to rip his arms out of Larb's grip. "How DARE you speak of Zim that way! Don't touch Zim either!"

The Irkens that had been acting oddly backed away as the shorter Irken continued yelling at the top of his lungs. "Let's go someplace else!" one yelled, and they took off.

Zim started to follow, but Luna jumped in front of him. "Zim, I sense evil energy from them! We must find the source of this!"

"Food Haven."

Luna blinked. "That was quick."

"Of course! I am ZIM!"

"Very good, everybody. Now, I want you to go through to whole town..."

"Yes, mistress."

"Worse than those Earth Huuumans are those who turn Irk's citizens against it!" a voice called out.

"Who...?"

The doors burst open, and in their place stood Sailor Irk. "In protection of Irk! I am the sailor-suited pretty soldier, Sailor Irk! In the name of the Tallest, I will doom you!" Where had those words come from?

"Sailor Irk...? It does not matter who you are, you are DOOMED!"

Several pieces of a human food called 'cake' flew past him, just barely missing. "Minions, attack!"

All the other Irkens turned and reached out towards Sailor Irk.

"Hurry, Sailor Irk! Use you tiara!" And, of course, Luna was being little help.

"Irk Doom... Tiara!" Being very careful to miss the other Irkens, the tiara cut through the monster and turned it to dust.

The Irkens blinked as the spell on them broke.

"What just happened?" somebody asked.

"Hey, who's that?" another said, pointing at Sailor Irk.

Deciding it would be a good idea to get to work, Sailor Irk ran off.

"I did what!?" Larb exclaimed, his jaw dropping.

"You and some other people threw a bunch of rocks. You nearly hit some of us, too."

Larb groaned and banged his head against the wall. Zim, passing by, took the opportunity to shove him down the flight of stairs they were next to.

"Nobody trips Zim without suffering the wrath of ZIM!" he yelled, and then went off to his work.

A/N: The image of Zim calling himself a 'pretty soldier' makes me laugh really, really hard.

Disclaimer: Neither Invader Zim nor Sailor Moon belong to me.