Chapter 1 ~ Beautiful soul
Jesse McCartney – Beautiful Soul
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and you're beautiful soul.
"Look, Tanya, you are a nice girl and everything, but it just isn't there for me. Sorry, but it's over." Her eyes widened in disbelief. Her mouth fell open. I waited silently for her to speak, but she surprised me, her lips turned up into a smile and she burst in to laughter.
"Wait, wait" she said, trying to catch her breath, "you are dumping me? I'm everything you could possibly want!" She ran her hands down her frame, as if to emphasise her words.
"I am sorry, but like I said, recently I have noticed it just isn't there for me any more." Well, that wasn't true, it hadn't been there for me at all. Tanya was not the girl I wanted at all. She was just a few inches smaller then me, she didn't have a modest bone in her body, she piles pounds of make-up on every morning, and did she not have a brain at all?! I always wanted a girl who could always keep me guessing on what she is thinking, not someone who was predictable, I didn't want someone who constantly thought about looks. Mind you, looks wise, Tanya really wasn't my type either. I want someone who was petite, brunette and who doesn't wear make-up excessively.
She glared at me. "I always knew you were gay." She mumbled under her breath.
"Excuse me!?" I stuttered. Did she really just say what I think she said?!
"Well, when I organised that special evening for us, you just blanked me, and I was wearing my best pulling underwear." She pouted, then turned back to angry immediately. "How could you not want this," she said, pointing towards her body.
"Tanya, I did not want you because you aren't as sexy as you think you are! You have the worst personality ever! I don't like you Tanya, and I never had!" Tanya's face fell completely, and her eyes welled. "Tanya, I'm sorry." I whispered, immediately regretting the words as the left my mouth.
She looked down, hiding her face from me. "Its okay, I shouldn't have wound you up. I know you're not gay. I just said it because it hurts." She mumbled. "I'm sorry you didn't like me Edward. I just want you to know, I enjoyed this last month and a half, that we spent together." She looked up again, her mascara running down her face. I couldn't help but feel guilty. I looked away, and she stretched up to kiss my cheek, before fleeing through the door.
I groaned, falling back onto my bed. I threw my arms over my face. I finally had ended with Tanya. Good. Now I wouldn't have to put up with Tanya and her clingy ways. I keep trying to convince myself that, that was the reason I dumped her. But I knew I couldn't lie to myself, I had to admit that the real reason was I wanted someone else. Someone who was off limits. I groaned again.
I let my arms fall to my side and sat up. I looked around my room, for something to do now that my afternoon plans where ruined. The little silver phone on my drawers caught my eye. I stretched to it, locking my hand around it without having to leave the bed. I flipped it open, pressed one, then pressed call.
It rang three times before a voice greeted me. "Edward?" My heart thudded at the sound of her beautiful voice.
"Hey Bella, you feel like going to our park?"
"Sure, give me five minutes, meet you there, okay?"
"Okay, see you later.
"Bye." Click. And she was gone. I sighed, putting my phone into back pocket. I ran a hand through my hair, grabbed my keys and walked through the door.
* * * * * *
I pulled my jacket collar together, trying to keep some more warmth in. I put my hands back into my pocket and headed over the the play area.
I entered through the gate and looked around at our playground, I hadn't been here for four months, when Bella was-. I stopped that thought abruptly not wanting to think of Bella in that kind of pain again. I walked over to the roundabout, running my hand along the seat. Iremember Bella and I on this roundabout. We hadn't been on it since I was nine. I tried to fit in it but managed to get myself stuck, Bella still hasn't let me live it down. I turned around as the swings caught my eye.
I made my way over to them, sitting down on one of the two available seats. Without holding on to the chains, I moved back and forth slightly, keeping my feet on the ground. I thought about before life became complicated for Bella and I. When we were 15. She swung on the swing, going higher and higher, letting her head fall back, her hair brushing the floor, back and forth. I remembered the bright smile she wore, the way the sun shone on her face. That was the exact moment I realised I was in love with Bella. I gripped hold of the icy chains and started to swing. I leant back slightly, letting my head fall back. I smiled widely.
A small giggle stopped me immediately. I flung myself forward, stopping the swing dead. "Hey Bella." I said, feeling a slight blush paint my cheeks. She smiled at me and took the empty swing next to me.
"So, how come you called me and told me to come to our park, in December?" She asked, her eyebrow raised.
"Oh, I just needed to get out. Sorry, didn't mean to drag you out into the cold."
"No, no its fine. Its not that cold at all really." She said, but a shiver escaped her. I realised then that she only wore a jumper. I stood, undoing the buttons on my jacket. I pulled it off and moved towards her. As I went to place it on her, she wriggled. "No, Edward! You are only wearing a shirt! Put your jacket back on." I rolled my eyes at her.
"Bella, I will take it as a personal insult if you don't wear my jacket." She sighed, but gave in, taking it from my hands. As our hands touched I felt the electricity flow through us. She must not have felt it, she didn't even pause. I internally sighed, but retreated back to my swing, goosebumps now appearing on my arms.
"Didn't you have plans with Tanya this afternoon?"
"Yes, I did." I looked out, not really seeing anything, but just hoping she would drop the subject. I should have known better.
"What happened?"
"We aren't together any more." I sighed, looking down at my hands.
"Oh, Edward! I am so sorry!"
"Why? I ended it." I turned to look at her. Confusion swept across her face.
"But, I thought you liked her." She stumbled. I shook my head.
"No, not really, I never did to be honest."
"Then why did you not end it sooner?"
"I don't know," I looked into her eyes. "I guess, well, the person I liked was taken." I looked away again, internally hoping she took the hint.
"You like someone else? Who! Oh, you have to tell me!" I sighed, shaking me head. I expected her to argue, but there was no response. I turned to her, to see her pouting.
"Bella?" She glared, looking adorable whilst doing it.
"Tell me. Please Edward!" She whined.
"I can't Bella, sorry." She shrugged, accepting defeat. I wish I could tell her. I wish she could just know how I felt. But I didn't deserve her. I knew that.
Bella started to swing, and I copied. She giggled as she swung higher. I pushed my legs harder, trying to get higher as well. I laughed as she started to push harder. Just then the sun broke through the clouds, shining on her face. I could feel my heart break at the beauty of her, and I stopped pushing, falling off of the swing. She jumped off, surprisingly landing on her feet and ran towards me. She fell to her knees. "Edward?! Are you okay?"
I sat up, nodding. She put her hands on her hips and glared at me, she could always tell when I lied. "Tell me the truth Edward, what is really wrong?"
I am in love you! I love everything about you, I need you! Please, tell me you feel the same. These are the words my heart screamed. But I couldn't get mouth to shout them out. I had promised someone that I wouldn't ruin Bella's life like that. The memory flooded my mind.
Charlie s House. Two Months Earlier.