In Which There Aren't Any Robbers?

…

Note: Rewriting it from the beginning!

…

So, read it all over again! xD

…

…

Heart pounding, I raised the titan vase over my head. Ready to bring it down at in moment anything walked by. I peeked around the corner again before quickly leaning back. I was probably batshit crazy—probably why I'm doing this—but I wasn't going down without some sort of a fight.

After, somehow, making it back down the hall, with which ever of them that had been chasing after me at first, had apparently tripped over the blanket I'd left on the floor. I would have laughed if I wasn't scared witless and desperate to get away.

I stiffened when I heard the tromping of feet coming up the hall. Tightening my grip on the vase, I braced for the impact that would ensue my vase-to-head action.

"Why is girl-chan holding that vase like that?"

I nearly screamed right then and there. Turning my head to look back over my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of an orange swirled mask in the dim lighting. Sucking in a breath, I let out a shirll battle cry and slammed the vase backwards, connecting it with the Tobi cosplayer's mask covered face.

The cosplayer let out a yelp as he stumbled backwards and away from me, losing his balance.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU TOBI/MADARA PERSON!" I screamed, leaping over the downed cosplaying robber when he fell to the floor, his arms shielding his face or mask from further harm.

Running off down the hall, I turned a sharp corner—nearly slipping on the carpet, only to run body first into someone as soon as I made it around said corner. Stumbling backwards, I clutched my elbow and happened to look up.

Panting, I briefly noticed Mao up on the one of the many ledges running around the house. Following his gaze downward, I didn't notice his hunches rocking as he stared down the Hidan cosplayer in front of me.

What in the world?

But, speaking of the robber, looking back to the guy, he was clutching his nose.

I'd probably hit him the face... with my... elbow.

Oh, god, if I wasn't so scared.

"FUCK! THAT HURT YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" he seethed after a moment, taking a big step forward, his free hand reaching for the—obliviously fake, right?—scythe strapped to his back. I took a step back from him, faltering a bit under his pinkish glare.

Then, it happened.

There was a loud yowl, a flurry of fur and suddenly Mao was attached to the robber's head—biting and scratching like his life depended on it. I could have sworn I saw an evil gleam in those pale yellow eyes...

Not that I was going to complain or anything.

Yelling in anger the man backed to one side of the hall, leaving a big gap to the other side. Seeing this chance I quickly darted pass, briefly hoping Mao would be okay.

Just think positive.

Yeah.

Just think positive.

I dashed down the hall, making my way for the stair case. Slowing, I placed a hand on the railing and took the first step onto, and down the stairs.

I needed to get down 'em, ASAP.

Getting about half way down, after nearly tripping twice in haste, I stopped short. I stared right into the red eyes at the bottom of the stairs in horror.

"Dammit..." My breath caught in my throat and everything seemed to get heavier. Feeling drained I took a step backward up the stairs, only to push myself into a sitting position on the carpeted steps.

Everything then went dark, darker then it had been in the gloom of the house.

Damn.

They had a freakin' hypnotist dressed as Itachi Uchiha.

…

"Unngh..." Man, did I feel like shit. Blinking an eye open, I squinted before letting out a small groan. I sat up, relieving myself of a dull pain in my stomach. Glancing sideways through my brown hair, I noticed it was morning.

Great.

Looking down, I found the reason why I ached in the middle. There was rope wrapped 'round me and the chair I was seated in.

Double great.

I squirmed as I finally noticed how uncomfortable I was, letting my gaze dart around the room. Where were those robbers? Maybe they left already, grabbed whatever and scoot on out.

I flinched in surprise when a voice spoke.

"Your awake," drawled a chipper voice before it split to another, more, bored one."Took you long enough..."

Straining to look over my shoulder, my mouth dropped open at what I saw standing near the door leading to the kitchen. I closed my mouth, doing a double take to make sure I was looking at something real.

These... have to be some damn serious cosplayers.

Standing, in all of its weird glory was a very realistic looking Zetsu cosplayer.

And by realistic, I mean, it looks so real it could pass for the real thing. He had the split colors, the eyes, AND the big, freaking venus fly plant thing protruding from his akatsuki cloak.

Which would have looked and been fabulous.

If I wasn't tied to a chair.

I gapped a bit more,"Whoa..."

He surveyed me quietly for a few moments before sniffing. Sweeping out of the room and into the kitchen next door, he gave me one last hard look from over his shoulder. Startled at his lack of being there, I squirmed in my chair again and glanced around once more.

"HELP! Somebody! Heeeeelp, I'm being robbed!" I yelled, leaning myself back in the chair to tilt my head up. When I took a short breather before starting again, I glared in the direction of the kitchen.

I thought I heard chuckles.

Trying again a few more times, I kicked my feet in vain, only to have the chair tilt before standing itself upright again. It took me a moment to see the idea, but I started rocking back and forth in the chair as I struggled with the rope on my wrists.

The result only got me an upset chair, sore wrists and my face connecting with the floor if you must know.

Cursing under my breath, I opened my eyes and came face to feet with, well, feet. Some of them were chuckling at me again.

"Assholes..." I muttered darkly. These crackpots were weird—why hadn't they left yet and why were they standing here laughing at me? They were robbers, riiight?

One of the pairs of feet silenced the chuckling,"Tobi, sit her up."

"Hai Leader-sama!"

And then I was upright again. Narrowing my brown eyes, I quickly looked around the assortment of the robbers or whatever they were.

Lemme see:

There was Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Pain, Kakuzu, and Tobi.

They all looked pretty dedicated to their rolls, what with them even being next to their own partners. Except Kakuzu, I didn't see the Hidan from earlier. And Pain—what, they didn't have a Konan?

Putting my attention back on Pain, I made accidental eye contact with him and a small gasp slipped out.

Holy cow.

His eyes... they... they were even ringed! And in color, oh god, how discomforting was that? Pain's eyes always creeped me out when they were in color.

Feeling like a deer caught in head lights, I looked away right as he began to speak.

"Girl, where are we?" his voice echoed a bit in the not so open space, which only caused me to shiver.

Gulping, I quirked an eyebrow,"Uh, are you stupid?"

I mentally slapped myself.

Great job, antagonizing the crazy crackpots is the third fastest way to get yourself killed. Angering was the most, and befriending them came a close second.

Antagonizing usually lead to anger.

...

Where the crap did that even come from, I have no idea.

'Pain' narrowed his eyes at me,"It'd be in your best interest to not antagonize me, girl," he paused a moment."I will repeat myself: where are we?"

I opened my mouth, telling my brain to say what the crazy person wanted to hear, but said brain had other agendas,"Your—You guys must be some crackpot robbers to not even know where you are."

I would have slapped a hand over my mouth if it was possible.

'Kakuzu' then snapped at me,"We're not robbers, girl."

Time was money, I guess.

"Then what the hell are you guys doing in my house? Miss the anime convention in my basement?"

I swear to god that slipped out by accident. Wide-eyed, I went to apologize because I really didn't want to die,"NO! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to snap, please don't hurt m—"

A loud CRASH resonated from the other room, effectively cutting my last word in half, followed by just as loud swearing. Moments later, the 'Hidan' from earlier stumbled into the room, his face laced with scratches along with a black eye.

All that was audible to where I was seated was:

"Damn hethren cat..."

I would have laughed and possibly have snickered in chat-speak if this wasn't such a serious situation.

But one thing was clear.

The force was very much so with Mao.

…