I finally make my way to my apartment where I hang my old khaki trench coat and hide away my dad's old combat boots.

My apartment isn't big. It isn't small either. I had my own bedroom and terrace and this apartment my father had bought me came with a fortunate set of two bathrooms.

I make myself some tea and watch a little bit of the cooking channel while eating a bowl of grapes. My dinner.

It was always this lonely since the first day I moved in here, which was four years ago. My parents only had me and I didn't come with anyone else. Probably now, dad would be going back and forth to different countries while mom would be out drinking with her friends like she always did.

Dad was a pilot while mom was your typical trophy house wife.

I felt slightly ignored, growing up. They rarely spared time for me, though I didn't care, I loved being alone.

Dad had his pretty foreign women while mom had friends to listen to her drunk confessions about being a pressured mother. I sometimes wonder if I'm ever going to end up constantly wasted while I recite every regret I've ever made to the kids I wish I never had. Like what she used to do with me every time she arrived home.

I was seven when she called me an ungrateful bitch. Dad was in Japan and I cooked dinner for myself from then on, which usually consisted of cereal or the noodles you pour hot water into. We had maids but mom had fired them one by one.

I have no regrets on moving out. There was nothing waiting for me back at home. I had no future there. But what I will always promise to myself: I will never be the shadow of my own mother. I will never come home wasted or high and talk shit to my own children as if they deserved it.

I will promise to attend every recital. Plan every surprise party. Help pick out their prom dresses. I'm going to give the love I never received.

I couldn't concentrate on what Jamie Oliver was trying to say. I couldn't even tell what he was cooking. The minute I knew I was paying more attention to my thoughts, I turned the TV off.

Another one of my problems.

How was I going to get children? I couldn't imagine myself walking down the isle for someone who loves me. I barely had any friends. I've never had a boyfriend.

I was always the little girl who liked to sit in the corner of a room, spending the entire night of the party admiring a vase next to her. I was the biggest wallflower I knew. Sometimes I wonder what I felt like doing with my life. I didn't feel like I was going anywhere. I didn't feel like anything was going to happen to me. A party, a wedding, baby showers- nothing.

The moment I figured I had nothing to do, I dialed in my dad's number.

He picks up at the third ring.

"Hey, kiddo. How's college?" I hear his old comforting voice ring around the inside of my head. I wanted to break down.

"It's good. I'm great here. Just doing a little studying." I sigh a bit. I could almost smell dad's Montecristo cigars and his usual shaving cream through the telephone.

"That's good, Hon. I'm taking a rest here at a really nice hotel. It's somewhere in California. A seven hour drive from home." He says. "I've got Kris here with me and her kid David."

Kris is dad's current girlfriend. I love Kris, I always have. Dad had met her through work three years ago. She has been abandoned by her ex-husband not too long before they met. She always brought me flowers whenever she came to visit me here in Rhode Island. Her house was a two hour drive from here and I always appreciated her dropping by to say hello and help me redecorate.

As for David, her five year old son, I've never met him before. Kris never brought him along, saying that he'd only get impatient through his mother's long talks.

"Tell Kris I said hi." I state to dad, not really knowing what to say anymore. "And to David."

"Yeah, sure." He says, almost as if he's ready to hang up.

Though I'd never admit it, I missed my parents. They were never around to make me happy but I just really love them.

If ever my father would end up marrying Kris, I want him to be David's father. The father I never had. The father who thought his only daughter could be satisfied by buying things she wanted. The father who didn't know how to be a real father 20 years ago.

I wanted him to know I wasn't happy here. That he should probably check up on me once in a while, just to see if he still cared.

"Daddy," My voice cracks a bit.

"Hm?"

I breathe deeply, trying to smother my heavy breathing with a fake laugh.

"I really miss you."

I wait in silence for his response. Expecting him to say he missed me too. Or maybe at least ask me if I'm alright.

He sighs heavily, the phone makes a staticky noise.

"Okay," he says after a long pause. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye." I exhale and put my phone down.

Once the clock had reached midnight, I brush my teeth and head straight to bed, trying to forget the fact that I might as well be alone for as long as I can take it.

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Thanks for reading you guys! Elsanna scenes are coming soon so hang on! Also, keep the reviews coming! I'd love to hear from all of you, negative reviews or not.

Have a nice day, and may you all find happiness! X