Hiya sorry I took so long to update. I wasn't too sure whether or not I was going to continue but with the encouragement of people (they know who they are) I decided to carry on. Anyway sorry for the rambling. Enjoy and as always reviews are appreciated.
"So..." Jonny started.
"What?!" Jac snapped back. She really didn't want to tell him but she knew he now knew there was something wrong and he wouldn't stop until he knew what it was. "Sorry. Carry on."
"So what does Elliot mean. He says we should talk. Talk about what Jac?"
"Jonny. I have something I need to tell you. Okay, but I need you to listen." Jac spoke her voice small and fragile, something Jonny had never experienced with Jac before.
"I'm listening Jac..." Jonny told her walking towards her and sitting down on the sofa next to her.
"I have Endrometrosis... that's why what you said hurt so much, that's why I hit you. I'm so sorry Jonny, ever since I did it I've regretted it, I regret it so much because I had everything, I had everything I ever wanted.. You.. and now I've lost it all. I lost it all because I couldn't face telling you.. I couldn't face telling you that I can't give you everything you want, I can't give you the family you want Jonny, I can't give you the perfect family picture."
Tear's where now falling freely from her eyes, she just couldn't stop. It felt like the past 3 years worth of tears she had been holding back had all been released at once. Jonny just sat there stunned into silence. He had never seen Jac like this before, she always seemed so together. So strong.
"Say something. Anything, please..." Jac whispered her voice weak. Like a child.
"Where did we go so wrong? Why did we end up like this, this isn't what I wanted. I didn't want us to be like this."
"I didn't exactly plan it either... Do you remember what you said to me the night I told you about Sean. Do you remember what you said before you knew. Up at the nurse station?" Jac asked. Her voice small and a little rough due to the tears which had now almost disappeared leaving small frequent hiccups in there place.
Can we go out tonight?
Are you not exhausted.
Well one drink and I'll be fine, and anyway you still owe me dinner.
And you sit own me hot sex in the cupboard. Or any other place of your choosing.
Just give me half an hour.
Okay... You did a brilliant job today, Ms Naylor, I'm so proud of you.
"I remember. And you know what. I meant every single word of it. I really did." Jonny whispered shuffling slightly closer to her.
"And what about what you said after... after you knew about Sean. Did you mean that?" Jac asked looking at him properly for the first time since he had entered the room.
That stuff you said this morning, about wanting to start again.
Yeah I meant it, The past 24 hours have been crazy. And well I like a quiet life.
Then there's something I need to tell you.
Well that sounds ominous. Cant we not just wait?
No... I slept with Sean last night... Say something.
What do you want me to say?
I don't know. That you hate me. That you can forgive me?
Why you tell me Jac?
Because I thought.
You thought what? Oh good old Jonny will just roll over and say, don't worry about it, Sean's a good guy. Lets just try and forget about it. No harm done. Well I'm a soft touch, but I cant do that.
But it meant nothing it just happened.
It wouldn't just happen to me though would it? I want a just a normal life. All the normal boring things. I want a wife and a family. And I want a dog and roses over the door the whole shebang.
I can do that.
But you can't that's just it... your not capable because every time you get close to it you just push the detonate button and blow the whole thing sky high... I cant live like that.
The room fell silent. The atmosphere began tense and uneasy. These words brought the whole situation back to them.
"I was shocked. Angry. I just couldn't get my head around the fact, you chose to seek comfort with another man when you had me. Wasn't I enough Jac ?"
Jac sighed before staring "Jonny. You were too much. You're more than I ever deserve... Deserved. Your funny little ways, cheeky grins, your bubblegum toothpaste. I have never done anything to warrant that. I'm supposed to be alone. Its the path which has always been laid out for me. My future. Dark, Misty and Alone."
Hopefully I will be quicker at updating next time but i'm back at school on Monday so that could change. Anyway hope that was okay. Until next time...