Disclaimer: Don't own anything, feeling kinda lonely here! I don't own anything or anyone… Well… I won't mention that one guy who may or may not be in my basement… Speaking of, how long has it been since I fed him… K umm, gotta go!!
Chapter Two: It's a corset of course!
I didn't think I had hit my head that hard. I'd never passed out in my entire life and I didn't plan to start now. Mumbling to the people surrounding me I tried to get my bearings.
"Quick! Don't let me fall asleep! I could have a concussion! Ask me questions! What is my name? Where do I live? What is my Credit Card number? No wait, hold on, not a good idea to give that one out… How many fingers am I holding up?!" I bellowed looking bewildered holding up three fingers.
"Please Mel! Don't make me watch one of your movies!" I was almost in tears and covering my face with my arms at the thought of this when I finally calmed down and took a deep breath.
"Miss? Please calm yourself!" I heard a brit saying in an oddly old fashioned dialect. 'Oh god it's my old Soccer coach! Why the hell is he wearing a wig? Better question, why the hell is he at Mel's house wearing a wig?' I sat up with his hand grasping my arm. Apparently I wasn't bleeding too badly because I could still see some… SOME… skin.
"Watch that last step, it's a doozey!" I warned dusting off my hunter green Henley top and khaki capris. My top was torn in a few dozen places, and my pants across my right thigh. My legs looked like that one scene in Saw, well more like all the scenes in Saw. I stumbled up to my feet and finally looked up at my surroundings. I slumped back to the floor instantly.
A huge Victorian house stood tall and proud in front of me. The house went well with the servant that had been assisting me, and even better with the horse and carriage in the back ground. The maids were whispering to themselves about this 'odd girl in strange clothing' and the huge French doors in the front of the house were opening to reveal a man dressed in full on Colonial Governor garb, wig and all. 'What's up with the wigs? I want one! Can I have one? Or maybe a big hat!'
"What is going on here?" the Governor asked with a soft voice without anger or impatience, "Is that young lady hurt badly? You! Servant send for the doctor!" He exclaimed pointing to a young boy about my age.
"Oh!" I said in realization, "No, Sir, please! I'm fine, just a few bumps and bruises, I can walk this off!" I said getting up and limping about in a circle with a fake transparent smile on my face. "I really didn't mean to interrupt your movie shoot."
That is when the carriage door opened and a slender blonde woman stepped out in a full, fluffy, frilly, fruity… well it was the color of a banana… Victorian dress. I recognized her face instantly. Keira Knightly. 'OMG, I was on the shooting of the pirates movie! Quick look about for Depp, maybe if a fane horrible injury I can demand a meeting with him as compensation! I'm evil and manipulative!' I started thrashing my head one way and the other. No sexy older man that could be my dad Depp in sight. Damn!
"I didn't know that the final Pirate movie was being filmed at Mel's house!" I said still in a bit of a daze.
"Governor Swann, I do believe that this woman is mad, or has hit her head a bit too hard." The man holding my arm keeping me partially standing said.
"I'm starting to think it's not the latter of the two." I said looking up at him with 'deer in the headlights eyes'. "One question," I said turning to Knightly, "What is your name?" She looked puzzled at this, I was relieved for a moment before she spoke.
"My name is Elizabeth Swann, daughter of Governor Swann, don't you know? Or are you not from Port Royal?" She answer sweetly.
'Ding, Ding, Ding!' Round three and I was out for the count. Remember how I said I wasn't about to start passing out… well I lied.
Some amount of time later
Mmm, I love the feel of fluffy sheets in the morning! But wait, my sheets at home weren't fluffy.. They were more scratchy and torturous… but really stylish. No these sheets were not mine, and that is when I began to wonder what had happened the night before. I gave up drinking in Spain, but I really felt like I had taken it up again.
I rolled over to look out the window, there I saw the open sea. Wow, the sun rise on the sea was amazing, the glint off the ocean was nearly blinding.
"Hold on a tick!" I said sitting up whacking my head on the head board. "Ow, son of a b…" The sun never rose on the Pacific ocean in California. This was my reasoning to have reasoning to be questioning the reasoning position of the sun on said questioned ocean. In other words, it was a teensy bit odd.
"Miss are you alright?" A small voice came from the corner. I turned to see a maid sitting by the fireplace cleaning out the ashes from the night before.
"I would be if I would stop hitting my head." I sighed to myself rubbing the goose egg forming atop my head.
"I've put some proper clothes out for you when you are ready, a dresser will come in and help you." She said giving me a courteous smile and rising from the ashes. I couldn't help thinking of Cinderella.. Erm, dresser?
Nodding I stood up, a bit woozy, and off balance but not as bad as I had felt that one time in Morocco, long story, tell you later. The maid exited and I remained behind as a flood of memories came back to me. The last hour before I was unconscious more specifically, my fifth birthday didn't come up, another long story, tell you later.
Wow, how did that pebble get up there?
There was a small knock at the door, what I was assuming was the 'dresser'… yippee. I looked down at my tattered clothes and figured fitting in wouldn't be so hard once I got myself some decent threads. I finally pieced together what was happening and figured I would go with the flow until I woke up from the coma. I hoped. Ah yes, back to the knocking.
"Erm.. You may enter…" I said awkwardly flitting across the room to the door. In walked two maids I assumed were there to 'dress' me. I do not swing that way kids, trust me! Ok, once, in Morocco, but I told you I would tell you later…stop prying! You readers are a greedy lot.
The two curtsied to me, which I (a bit off balance) returned. They scuttled past me and picked up a box which they then opened to reveal a stunning gown.. erm.. dress. It was burgundy with cream colored trimmings, and a pearl embroidered bodice. I marveled at it for a few seconds until they pulled out something which laced up in the back.
"May I ask what that is?" I questioned pointing at the off white torture device.
"Why, It's a corset of course Miss." The stouter maid replied. My face twisted in a look of horror as they approached me with the corset.
What seemed like hours later
I had my blonde tresses secured loosely so some hair would fall about my face, and a bit down my neck. My, eh hem, bosoms were being showed off a teensy bit too much, but I was a little more preoccupied with the fact I couldn't breath. The maids escorted me down into the foyer were Knightly.. I mean Elizabeth.. I mean Miss. Swann was obviously waiting for me. She smiled sweetly at me as I huffed my way towards her.
"Any tricks on how I'm supposed to breath in this thing?" I asked her hiding my face behind my fan. She gave me a sly look and replied.
"Say you must use the loo, and take it off then." She said smiling taking a big breath in and walking towards the door. "As daughter of the Governor of Port Royal I wish to befriend you, and show you around our lovely little settlement." She said meekly.
"Or, in other words, your father wants to find out weather or not I'm a Pirate." I said gulping in air. "I'm not. But I swear if this thing doesn't come off soon I would rather hang in the gallows like them." Elizabeth looked a little shocked at what I said but quickly ushered me towards the carriage.
Once in the carriage she began unfastening the dress for me, and quickly took off the corset and helped me fasten the dress up once again. I started to laugh as she stuck her head out the window and looked about for any passer by, and when the coast was clear she promptly threw the corset into the bushes.
"I've lost so many good corsets that way." I joked. Elizabeth and I threw ourselves into a fit of giggles until we could hear the driver up top loudly clear his throat.
"I'm terribly sorry," Elizabeth began sitting upright again, "I never asked your name." I stopped mid breath to think of a good answer. Ok, I already told her I wasn't a pirate, so I really can't go down that alley… sad really, being a pirate would suite me. Um, what is next… hell with it, the truth should work.
"My name is Alissa Duke." I replied nodding as if trying to convince myself. Elizabeth gave me an off look.
"Duke? Odd surname to be sure." She said quirking an eyebrow.
MAYDAY MAYDAY! TRUTH IS NOT WORKING, SIR WE ARE GOING DOWN! FIRE THE CANNONS! LIE LIE LIE!
"Did I say Duke? I meant, Duchess… Duchess Alissa of Greenland!" I proclaimed.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING! IF SHE KNOWS HER GEOGRAPHY AT ALL SHE WOULD KNOW THAT GREENLAND IS ALL ICE, IT'S ICELAND THAT'S GREEN, TOCHE VIKINGS, YOU'VE WON THIS TIME!
Silently I waited for her to call me out, the whole time hoping that Greenland hadn't been discovered yet, or that hoping, nay praying that she was as stupid as she was fun. God really has my back sometimes.
"Royalty?" She gasped, "We had no idea! Begging your pardon Duchess! If we have had any idea…" Oh my, she was as dumb as a stick, pretty ones always are. I held up a hand.
"Really Miss Swann, it is no problem. It isn't like Greenland has a huge stake in the worlds future." I snickered to myself, I had no idea how to act like a Duchess. All I could do was make it up, and do my own thing, saying it was customary in Greenland. Like I said before, I'm very manipulative, and crafty.
"My brother, The King of Greenland, isn't the brightest flame in the chandelier." Thinking of my own older brother, I didn't feel too bad saying this, because it was not far off from the truth. Although I got a pang of jealousy from the fact that in my coma he got to be king. Jerk.
Elizabeth still seemed a little shell shocked and was eyeing me carefully. I guess she went from believing me to being very skeptical in a matter of moments. Time to put on my ol' charm that could make anyone do or believe anything I say.
"And how exactly did you come to, um, stumble into Port Royal?" She asked propping her shoulders back. I liked her so far, but she was starting to get pompous here and I could feel a cat fight coming on if I didn't smooth this out.
Think, think, think, ah ha! "Pirates." I said, "And Miss Swann, It seems we are pulling near to the village, town, erm, settlement… dwellings? And I would much rather leave this story for later when I may explain it to your father also." I tried to play off the 'used to getting my way' look. Come on, sell it with your eyes, come on, sell it!
"I understand Duchess, shall we?" She said motioning to the door that was being held open for us.
"Please, I much prefer you call me Liss." I said stepping lightly out of the carriage.
"And I, Elizabeth." She said smiling at me. Ah, the tension was relieved! We were back to being on good terms. Well at least we would be for a short while, because there in front of us was the blacksmith work shop. Ooo, the fun begins.
Ok, my pretties! What did you think? Ok little history lesson. Vikings named Greenland that so their enemies or who ever they wanted to pull a good prank on would go there expecting it to be nice, but it would be ice, and they would die. Hahaha, silly Vikings, such jokesters they are. I used my own name for this character because, well, it's a good name. And I couldn't think of anything else… So after all, I do own something… My name!