Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

What's Up Doc?


"Now make a right," Frodo instructed.

ERRRRRCH!

"No! The OTHER right!"

SCREEEEEEAACH!

"The sign says 'Do Not Enter', Pip," Merry added.

Pippin turned his black weather-beaten ball cap backwards and leaned out the window as he proceeded to back up Sam's blue Civic Honda (The "C-Bird" as they all called it). Another car sailing down the lane that he was currently sitting in came to a sudden halt, sending the two elves inside jolting forward in their seats.

"What are you doing, you moron?!" one shouted angrily as his friend blared the horn. "This is a one-way lane!"

"He's a little slow this morning fellas!" Merry called nonchalantly out the back window, sounding as though this sort of thing happened frequently when his cousin drove the car, which in fact it did.

Pippin let out a loud "Hick!" and jumped slightly in his seat.

"Would you stop that?" Frodo asked, exasperated. "You've been at it for an hour already."

"I can't help it," Pippin said in defense.

"Look, I already said, just hold your breath."

"I don't like holding my breath. It's too hard—Hick!—to concentrate."

"I told you not to drink that Pepsi so fast," Merry said.

"Alright! Will you—Hick!—stop it already?" Pippin swerved back into his lane, finally making the right turn and driving up a small hill to the hospital parking lot.

"There." Frodo pointed. "There's a spot right by the door. Park there."

Pippin swung wildly to the left, away from the space.

"Where're you going, Pip?" Merry asked, squeezing himself in between the other two hobbits to see.

"I'm just backing in so I won't have to back out when we leave."

"You're not even driving on the way home," Merry said impatiently. "Sam is!"

"I can do it," Pippin insisted. The younger hobbit was already leaning halfway out the window. The C-Bird jerked backwards abruptly.

"Pippin!" Frodo shouted as he was thrown forward. "Hit the brake! No, that's the gas!"

Merry dove forward and slammed his fist down on the brake, along with Pippin's foot that happened to be in the way.

Pippin screamed. There was another loud screech of rubber on asphalt, and the car stopped just centimeters short of hitting an SUV.

Frodo glared at Pippin. "That's it. I'm parking the car."

"Fine. Hick!"

Frodo unbuckled his seatbelt and got up to take the wheel. Unfortunately, his leg was pinned underneath Merry's chest.

"Merry? Could you get up for a second?"

"I can't!" the other hobbit yelled up to him. "I'm stuck."

"Here, let me help," Pippin offered and leaned down, still in his seatbelt. He grabbed Merry's shoulders and yanked with all his might, clenching his face tightly.

"I can't move him!" he called up to Frodo.

"I told you, I'm stuck!" Merry said angrily. "My arm's caught between the seats."

"Hold on. We're probably pressing the cushions closer together when we're sitting on them," Frodo said. He inched out of his seat to sit on the floor under the dashboard. In turn, Pippin climbed on top of the backrest of the driver's seat, still leaning down to wrap his arms around Merry's waist.

"Okay, try pulling him out again," Frodo said.

Sam sat with his feet on his desk, trying to keep himself from looking at the cooler. His eyes strayed over to the framed diploma hanging on his wall, then down to the three "Employee of the Month" certificates below it, one of which he had just received two weeks ago. He was an accomplished doctor, despite the number of hurtles he had to practically fling himself over throughout his life at home.

He'd been the most promising student in his class at college, and had found work at St. Radagast only a month after graduating. Sam had been working there for over three years now.

And now, on top of everything else, he had just been approached by Elrond, the head doctor, to make a speech at the hospital's twenty-fifth anniversary dinner party next week. He had even been allowed to bring Frodo, Merry, and Pippin, though it had taken him a little while to convince Elrond that they really were well-behaved in public.

Hearing three voices in the hall approaching his office, Sam sat up quickly.

"Did you really have to use the umbrella?" Merry's voice asked. He sounded annoyed.

"How else was I—Hick!—supposed to get you out?" Pippin's voice asked. "We didn't have a pry bar, so I used the umbrella instead. And how'd you—Hick!—manage to get stuck in there so tight anyway?"

"I don't know!" Merry was exasperated. "I just did!"

"Well you didn't have to tell him to 'watch where he was sticking that thing'." Frodo said in annoyance. "It was bad enough that the car was rocking like that. Now that lady'll never want to come here again."

"Yeah," Merry agreed. "I'd say we officially scared her."

Sam rolled his eyes and got up. There was a knock at the door, then Frodo called out, "Sam?"

"Right here." Sam opened the door. "Any trouble getting to the hospital?" he asked curiously, pretending not to have heard their conversation.

Frodo hesitated for a second. "No. Well, Pippin had a little trouble backing into the parking space—"

"—But the rest was fine!" Pippin cut in, smiling eagerly.

Sam raised his eyebrows skeptically, then let his friends in. "You didn't go in any of the rooms, did you?"

"No. Why?"

"No reason," Sam said, turning quickly to pick up his brief case. Pippin walked across the room, looking around at the office.

"You do something to your office?" he asked.

"The walls just got painted a couple of days ago."

"It's a good change," Merry commented. "Tan's more of your color."

Sam picked up the cooler. "C'mon, guys," he said hastily. "I've got a lot of work to do at the apartment."

Pippin leaned outside Sam's office window. "Hey, check it out! You can see the C-Bird from here!"

"Uh, Pippin, I really don't think it's a good idea to lean out like that," Sam went on anxiously. "We're three stories up, you know."

Merry leaned out as well. "Whoa! Check out the Mustang!"

"Where?" Pippin asked excitedly.

"Right below us."

"Man. That's one sweet ride!"

"Wonder whose it is," Merry wondered aloud.

"Guys?" Sam wanted to get out of the building with his roommates as soon as possible, but was trying not to hint it to them. "Can we go? I really don't like carrying this cooler around."

"What's in it?" Frodo asked.

Sam glanced at him edgily. "I'll tell you when we get home."

"Alright," Merry said, sending the Mustang one last glance as he turned and went to the door. "Come on, Pip."

Reluctantly, Pippin turned away as well, and was about to follow Merry when another hick-up stopped him in his tracks. He jumped, tripping and stumbling back. Instinctively, he threw his arms backwards, trying to stop himself from falling, and hit the ivy plant sitting on the windowsill. The small ceramic crock disappeared from sight as it fell. Pippin's head snapped around to gaze at it in shock.

Several seconds passed, and the four of them heard a loud smash from far below.

Sam sighed heavily, then uttered a rather suggestive word under his breath.

........................................................

(Boy, did I get interesting reviews on the first chapter. I had no idea these kind of Fics were so popular! Hope you like this chapter too.)