Letters to Myself

Sirius's Letter

To: Sirius Black

James Potter

Remus Lupin

Peter Pettigrew

Date Turned in: 20th of April (See! I got it in on time!) 1970

Dear my handsome self in 10 years, when you are out of Hogwarts, have your 'poofing' license, and hopeful have a flying motorcycle,

It is beyond me why we have to write letters to ourselves. It's just plain weird. But then again, this is one weird world already. My name is Sirius, as you already know, because... you are Sirius! Or James. Or Remus. Not the point.

Any ways, my friends, the Marauders consists of moi, James, Remus, and an occasional Peter. Sometimes he's there and others times he's messing up pranks because of his clumsiness.

James Potter, aka Prongs (nancing deer!), is my closest mate, an illegal animagius like moi, who was one of the founders of the Marauder's Map and holds the all mighty invisibility cloak. I have a feeling that he doesn't trust me with it because I did indeed lose it once, just once (I think only once... James is looking for his cloak at the moment), after draping it over a chair, thus turning it invisible, and was not found until dear Prefect Lily Evans, who I might add Prongs is crazy about, tripped over the chair and almost broke her leg. Not at all my fault.

Oh yes, Prongs, Wormtail (Peter), and I have been illegal animagius since New Years Eve/ Day. Firewisky can sure mess with your mind. Congrats to moi for being an illegal animagius and a drunky for the second time in my life. The drunk part, not the animagus. My goal is to stay alive forever to torment James about liking Lily, (and to kiss girls) and surprisingly, so far so good. I was positive that I would be dead by now after making Snape's robes flash 'Jamesie and Lily forever!'. I did not know I could ever run that fast.

Back to friends. Remus Lupin, my other bestest mate, aka Moony, is a werewolf. That's why I'm an animagius. No, he did not choose to be a werewolf he got bitten stupid. He's the other prefect, and cough cough keeps us in line cough cough. He is another maker of the sacred Map, and has a Time Turner. Oh the fun we can do. How did you think we did pranks and our homework at the same time, not to mention more sleep? You would never think Remus was a werewolf, except that he's pale and sick every full moon... no biggie...

Peter Pettigrew, aka Wormtail, is, shall I say, a ninny. He is unusually large and is about failing every class. I actually have no idea why he is a Marauder, let alone an illegal animagius. I mean, he's a rat! Literally! And your animagius form shows what kind of person you are. I'm probably going to get sent to Azkaban for something I didn't even do, and it'll be Peters fault. It's always his fault. Thank god he's not on the Quidditch team, or we wouldn't be undefeated for the past FIVE years, with the Quidditch Cup in our hands, which, trust me, is making the Slytherins squirm.

I am a beater, Prongs is a chaser, Remus is sick too often to play, and no one in their right mind would trust Peter within 5 feet of a broom. I have just realized that I haven't given myself a bio yet.

I am Sirius, aka Padfoot, and I am the guy who has a new girlfriend every three days, your most faithful friend, your loyalist companion, or so they say. A dog. Yes, a wonderful dog that looks... hey! Grim! Now I can go scare half the freaking school to death after I finish this letter to... er... myself, which sounds extremely odd to me which technically, is you too... right?

My family... actually, I don't live with them anymore. I moved in with the Potters that included a five-minute notice. Not like it makes a difference, I'm over there all the time. Now, other readers besides myself, you may be wondering, why did such an angel move out of his parents house at the age of 15? I'll answer. My parents are freaking losers. Why they like Regulus is beyond me, he's bound to be a Death Eater. Not that they care, they hate anyone besides Purebloods. Why Voldemort calls them Death Eaters is beyond me, they don't eat death, they cause it. And a lot of it lately. I'll write more about that later. My whole family has been in Slytherin, except for me. Lily says I'm the oddball, the ugly duckling. Personally, I don't think I look like a duck. And I know I'm not ugly because almost 4/5 of the 5th year girls have dated me, sometimes more than once. What makes me even more afraid of my looks is that a couple of guys have asked me out too...

Trying to kill paper space... The Marauder's map. The Marauder's made it... I'm pretty positive that it's the only map of Hogwarts, Forbidden Forest and Hogsmede ever made. How do we know all these passages? Our nighttime adventures every month. All the passwords? Hours guessing, and a spell to keep updating house passwords. I think the greatest room in Hogwarts is the Room of Requirement. I'll let you think about where it could be. Hint hint seventh floor hint hint. And the insults if you can't get into the map? Totally moi's idea... er, Prongs and Moony had a little input. Wormtail was currently eating, I believe, a Danish. Several, now that I think about it. Another wonderful little toy we have is two-way mirrors. We switch it on if some of us are in different detention. Oh, we also sometimes take detention with the time turner. We actually once hired 3rd years to take our detention once... it's not that hard when you're the idols of the school. My total count of detentions; 1,021. 23 ahead of Prongs might I add. Oh, yeah, that's only for this year. I now have my own draw full of detention papers. It only took me 5 years...

Back to Death Eaters. Voldemort's been terrorizing the magical community. There better be someone who can stop him soon, or we're all dead or goners. Either way, I'm not too happy. I think that there's someone in Hogwarts giving out information... but it's a Slytherin. I can't imagine a Slytherin giving us information and spying on the 'Dark Lord' for us. Please... I'm mostly worried about Lily, Loraine and the other muggleborn students: Voldemort's mostly after those kinds of people. It's bloody bogus to me.

Speaking of Slytherins, Snape's due for a prank soon. I HATE that know-it-all. His hair's always greasy, and he's so pale... Maybe we'll prank at OWLS, they're coming up soon. I think that I'm going to do good on those, even with those anti cheating spells. Get this; For Divination with the old bat all we have to do is tell her what we see in a crystal ball. I can imagine my speech now... 'Oh, Professor! I... I just saw myself being eaten by a troll! Oh, the grief and the drama! And then what's left of me will be torn apart by a pack of wild wolves (Sorry Moony!)!'. The gorier the better. Tell her that you saw a Grim and she'll follow you around, seeing if you'll drop dead. You should have seen her face when I pretended to drop dead in front of her when I told her that lie. We got a picture; it's hilarious. She's clapping her hands excitedly with me twitching in front of her. I didn't know people loved me...

Well, this assignment is actually kinda fun! Not as fun as pranking, mind you, but this is by far my favorite assignment. Nobody's gonna read this for 10 years! I'll be old by then (And hopefully an Auror.)! Wait! I forgot about my spy ring!

Lily Evans and her friends are my info source, especially when it comes to unknown spells. Yeah, so we prank them, they get us back and it goes on and on. My spy ring consists of Lily, Loraine, and Sam, or Samantha if she's being kinda girly, which is about never.

I actually have an eye on one of the gals in that group... while James has an eye on another, Remus on another, and Peter on anyone who can stand the slob. I'll actually try to make this work... instead of pranking them unexpectedly in restaurants, or bore them to death about sushi's main parts... that was actually quite fun; the girl hated fishies and Chinese food. And that girl who hated bananas! Man, that was fun making the banana perfume...

Now Lily's friend who claims to be Panaphobic! Man, was she a feminist or what! She was being PAID 10 Galleons to go out with me, and Lily had to keep her lighter/ Zippo and kerosene (muggle devices to light fires) under chain and lock! She almost lit me on fire with her Zippo! It actually looks pretty cool... Too bad I actually like her. Crap. Did I just let that slip? Since there's no way I'm rewriting all this, I'll just keep it to remind Sirius of Sirius's serious insaneness. Urgg... I'm starting to sound like Loraine. Oops. Lily has actually hinted she might be getting out of her feminist stage and that she liked me... but that was before she kicked a Slytherin boy in the groin, dosed him in kerosene, and lit him on fire, and changed her shirt to read 'This is what a Feminist looks like.'. Last week she attempted to light Peter on fire... somehow he just wouldn't catch. Bummer. She actually made it look like James, Remus and I were on fire earlier today, which she, Lily and Sam got a kick out off. Very realistic. It then turned real when Moony made a stupid comment about how he thought feminists should act ladylike.

Wow. This has been a parchment. Duh, you're at the bottom of the page. I could say so much more. Hold on.

Okay, James is going down to get food. Kitchens. Tickle the pear in the fruit bowl portrait. I guess he did find his invisibility cloak. I remember where I- I mean, where I think it last was. When we dumped Prongs into the tub this morning to wake him up.

Remus, stop reading over my shoulder, you'll read this in 10 years. Now go away like a good boy or I will have to KEEL YOU! I KEEL YOU! Stop laughing. It's not funny when I knock over the ink well. Now run off wolfie boy and finish your own letter, which I know you should be working on now! Prongs has finished his! Haha... I think I scared him. Now he's on the other side of the table. Hey! Go write your own letter Moony! Stop reading mine!

I can't imagine life out of Hogwarts. Siriusly. All my friends are here, everything I know. Well, all I got to say is that this will make Gonny (McGonagall, head of house) faint when she sees I did more than what's required. Hey, future me, hope your not in too much trouble, and maybe you actually got a kiss from Loraine! Haha... she'll probably light me on fire afterwards...

-Sirius Black

P.S. In case you forget how you look like, I'm including a picture of the Marauder's, and my spy ring. Actually, it's a requirement.

P.P.S. That "Certain Gryffindor" was me. I really didn't want to do that last assignment.