Here for you
Chap 2
She was overwhelmed with emotions. She didn't know what to think, how to feel. So many thoughts swam through her mind. She was disappointed. Grief pulled at her heart. But she felt guilty. So, so guilty. This was all surreal to her. It was crazy to think not even twenty four hours earlier she had no knowledge of the life inside her. And now that baby was gone. Just like that.
They had been lucky. Of course she had mixed emotions discovering she was expecting with Stevie a little over twenty years ago. The surprise was shocking and left her a bit hesitant. Henry had just returned home, and the couple was just beginning to reconnect with one another. Their marriage needed to be worked on, putting the pieces back together. The pregnancy couldn't have happened at a harder time, but they welcomed the surprise with open arms, and loving hearts.
They struggled a bit before Ally, having a difficult time getting pregnant. But after six months of trying, they were ecstatic to learn they were once again expecting. After their second child they decided they were most likely done having kids, believing they had completed their family. But things change. And late one night they, well more Elizabeth but Henry was on board, decided to go for three. They were pleased to welcome their son Jason into their family.
They certainly were lucky. They had three beautiful, smart, and amazing children. Lucky. She was lucky to have Henry. Lucky to have her kids. And very lucky to have never experienced the loss of a child in the past. These feelings were foreign to her. She was devastated.
She sucked in a breath of air as her eyes roamed around the bland looking hospital room walls. The fluorescent lights beginning to give her a headache.
She had sat through the doctor's examination, almost completely unresponsive. She listened to the woman listing off the possible reasons she had miscarried. But Elizabeth only heard bits and pieces. The words 'long work hours', 'stress of the shooting', 'pressure of the job', and 'your age' popped out to her. She had laid uncomfortably unmoving as the doctor poked and prodded at her, announcing that she had been eight weeks pregnant. Eight short weeks.
How could she have been so stupid? She was appalled with her own behavior yesterday. She was simply angry because the pregnancy so happened to fall at an inconvenient time for her and her career. But that wasn't fair. To the baby. To Henry. She took the little life for granted. She didn't get the chance to feel the baby's first kick. To hear the thumping heart beat over the machine. She would never see his or her first steps. Would never hear their first word. She wouldn't get the chance to see her child grow up. You never realize what you have until it's gone.
She heard the faint knock on the thin wooden door, warning her of someone's impending sudden entrance. "Madam Secretary." Doctor Brock began upon her entry. "Please… Elizabeth." She whispered, reminding the doctor of her name preference. She couldn't bear being called by her job title at this very personal moment. "Elizabeth." She corrected, taking another glance at her patients chart in her hand. "Everything seems to be okay." The doctor announced. 'Yeah everything but the fact she just lost her child.' She thought in her head.
"I'm going to let you go home, if you're comfortable doing so." The OB/GYN glanced up at her, waiting to see if she would comment. Bess simply nodded her head. "Alright. I caution you to take it easy the next couple of days. You can go into work if you're feeling up to it, but don't push yourself. I've gone over everything with you, but please contact me if you have any questions." The woman said.
Before Elizabeth could reply Matt walked through the open doorway. "Sorry to interrupt ma'am, but your husband's here. He's pretty frantic." The DS agent informed her.
Henry. Oh god Henry. Throughout all the commotion she had nearly forgotten about her husband. How would she tell him about this? Would he be angry? Angry that she hadn't told him she was pregnant? Would he be upset? Relieved? Would he blame her for losing their baby? Her stomach turned to knots, anxious to face him. "Send him in." She mumbled at Matt. The man swiftly left the room to fetch her husband.
Bess turned her attention back to the doctor. Doctor Brock stepped forward and held up a plastic bag containing clothes. Her clothes. Her bloody clothes. "One of the nurses said you were wearing these when brought in. Would you…" The woman was interrupted. "Dispose of them." Elizabeth cut her off, sharply. She didn't want to be reminded of what had happened. The doctor turned on her heel to leave the room, but stopped abruptly, realizing up until this point she had been rather insensitive. The OB faced Bess again. "I'm so sorry for your loss." She apologized, before she once again made her way to the door.
Just as the woman exited, Henry was nearly running through the doorway. "Elizabeth." He called, extreme concern dripping through his tone. She sighed, seeing the worry displayed on his face. He quickly crossed the room. And within seconds he had his hands on both of her cheeks, thumbs rubbing under her eyes. He needed to touch her. Reassure himself that she was in fact still here with him. "Are you alright?" He asked her. "I'm okay." She tried to convince him. He shook his head. "When I heard about the shooting I thought…" He trailed off not being able to state his biggest fear. The fear of losing her.
"Hey." Bess began. She placed her hand over one of his. "I'm right here." She told him. Henry's eyes roamed over her body, making sure she was truly okay. "They told me you weren't injured." He acknowledged, clearly confused why she was lying in a hospital bed when she was claiming she was unharmed. This was her chance to tell him everything, what happened, and why she was here. "I'm not." She answered. He tilted his head, wanting… needing a further explanation.
She nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I may have had a bit of a panic attack in the car." She lied. She knew he would believe it. Iran was only four months ago, and she was still recovering. If she were being honest with herself, if she hadn't been focused on the pain in her abdomen her mind most likely would have flashed back to that horrific day. "Oh babe." He consoled her, kissing her hairline. "They just wanted to observe me." Bess added.
"I'm glad you're okay. I love you so much." Henry declared, staring into her eyes. She couldn't handle his piercing gaze. She looked away and cleared her throat. His eyes. It seemed like they bore straight through her. Could he tell that she was lying? Did he know? Was it possible one of her DS agents told him what happened? "Where are the kids?" She asked, changing the conversation. "At The White House." He said. She tensed. "It's just a precaution." He explained, trying to settle her mind. "Do they know what happened?" Bess probed. "I'm not sure babe." He answered truthfully. She nodded.
Henry opened his mouth to say something, but one of the men on her detail entered the room. "Madam Secretary." He began. The pair looked over at Frank. "You've been discharged ma'am. The car's being pulled around back so we can avoid the press." The man announced before quickly leaving the pair alone. "You ready?" She mumbled a mere 'yeah'. Elizabeth attempted to sit up in the small hospital bed, but the small movement caused a pang of pain in her middle. She let out a small moan which didn't go unnoticed by her husband. "Are you okay?" Henry asked. "I'm fine." She replied automatically. But she lied. She was far from fine. All she wanted to do was cry.
AN: Thank you all for the reviews. I love hearing from everyone! Let me know what you think. I've been struggling a bit writing this because it's a very deep and sensitive topic. I hope I'm doing alright. Also if you need something else to read check out my other story, news cycle. The first two chapters are a bit rough because it was my first multi chap story, but I promise you you'll enjoy it.