A matter of trust, part two….

Also on the way to the station…

Olivia wanted to meet with Elliot .She was sure someone had told him what happened. But it would be therapeutic for her to talk with him. She could trust him with her life. He was probably working so she drove to the station. She was ready to talk to him.

"Fin," Cragen said. "I need to see you in the office."

"What's up?"

"Well you know that Elliot's been off for a few days, for family reasons." He knew what had happened, but there was no way he could reveal Stabler's secret. "I'm not at liberty to discuss what had happened with Elliot, or at the prison. I'm not out there. I can't control water cooler talk. But I trust that you can?"

Fin knew what he meant. Cragen couldn't, but Fin had a way of dealing with his coworkers. "No problem. I'll handle it. Does he know?"

"Frankly that's between the two of them. Our job is to keep an eye out for Olivia. You know, if the press finds out about any of this...that's the last thing Olivia needs. All of her focus should be on recovery, not answering questions."

Fin nodded.

"I'm not finished. I don't want Elliot to hear about it from you. Or anyone else. I have to leave town tomorrow. One of my old partners from the good old days is being buried .I'm placing you in charge. That means desk duty. I know that may not be what you wanted to hear. But it's not because you did anything wrong. In fact, with Olivia and Elliot gone, I could probably use you more on the streets. I would consider it a personal favor. But I want to be called if they show up. I don't expect either of them to be back until Monday, but you know that might not be the case."

"You got it, Captain. "

"One more thing you should know…Harris is in isolation, for his own protection, as well as for Elliot's. Under no circumstances do I want him anywhere near Harris. " He shook his head, thinking about it. "Like I said Elliot doesn't know, but if he did…well…. Harris wouldn't live long enough for Casey to send him to death row. "

At the station, after Cragen left…

Saturday afternoon and the station was suspiciously quiet. Good, Fin thought. No hassles.

Olivia walked in. She didn't look good, her face was pretty swollen. But she wore sunglasses to help cover up some of the bruises.

"Fin…"

"you shouldn't be here. You need some rest."

"I'm fine. I'd rather come in on a slow day… you know… "

"Gotcha……you know…." Apologies really weren't his thing. "I feel bad for what I did… I never should have…"

"You saved my life Fin! If you hadn't gotten there…." She looked down at the desk and started shuffling papers around. "You have any aspirin? I ran out a few weeks ago."

"No but I'll run to the corner store. You gonna be okay here by yourself? You can always ride with me."

"No thank you. I just need to be by myself for a few minutes."

After Fin left….

"You wanna explain yourself?" Elliot furiously walked up to her, unable to disguise the anger in his voice. He of course hadn't been informed of the developments in her undercover case.

She looked confused. "Calm down. What is going on?"

"You know what's going on! In fact you've known what's going on for awhile. But you kept your mouth shut. How could you not have told me?"

Olivia was hurt. She didn't even consider the real reason for his anger. After her assault Kathy's lies about Eli's paternity was the last thing on her mind. She assumed he was worried because of the attempted rape.

"I would have told you….you've been gone…."

"Oh so now its my fault? I don't think so. It's not like you to keep secrets from me. I can't trust Kathy. I thought I could trust you. And now…I can't even look at you." He was out of line and he knew it. This anger wasn't about Olivia, but in his mind, she provided the safe place he could turn to when he felt this bad.

Now it's was Olivia's turn to get angry. "What about you? You weren't there for me when I needed it…where were you, Elliot? You don't hear me going around crying about everything…"

"So now I'm a crybaby? Tell me, how would you feel when you found out your partner couldn't be trusted?"

Olivia threw her glasses onto the desk. Elliot gasped.

"You wanna talk secrets? Okay Elliot here's a secret for you. I was almost killed. I was raped, Elliot. No one knows that fact except for you. You were the one I wanted to tell. And you weren't there. So you'll have to forgive my not sticking my nose in your business while I tend to my own. Are you happy now? So you come in talking trash about me. I get why you are upset with me. You have some anger issues with women? If that's the case…" By this time she was crying. "I guess now I have trust issues with men. You want a woman who won't keep secrets? Well this is no secret…. I want a new partner."

"Liv you don't mean that…I'm sorry. " He instinctively touched her shoulder, causing her to jerk back. "Anyways it's that animal that has the real issues with women." Immediately he regretted what he had said. That totally came across badly, and he knew it. He reached out to her.

"Don't you touch me!! Your wife won't touch you so now you come to me, is that it? Now that I'm damaged goods you get to play savior..I don't need a savior. I don't need anyone. And I certainly don't need you." Of course she didn't mean that, but the shock of everything that had happened to her was still messing with her mind. "What I want is a new partner."

"Liv…I didn't know…."

"You weren't there for me…" She shook her head in disgust. "Forget it. Just because you deal with these things doesn't mean you would understand me now…"

"I swear to God I would have been there. I should never have called off sick. Believe me that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life, which I know that doesn't even compare with what you have to live with. I'm so sorry, LIv. It's just that..well…I found out about Kathy and the baby…I just couldn't…" He couldn't help but stare at the bruises on her face. "Please don't shut me out. You don't know…"

"I don't know what Elliot? That you don't care about me? You come in here talking about yourself…you don't even ask who did this to me?"

"I care Olivia. That's the problem…I care too much. Of course I want to kill the bastard who did this to you. But..I don't know…maybe this is stupid."

Olivia felt bad for taking out her anger on him. "What's stupid? Come on, say it. It couldn't sound more stupid than some of the crap you've just said."

"Don't do this to me. You know as well as I do that I'm not the issue. Please don't shut me out. I know you better than anyone else…I care..I do love you."

She was stunned. "What did you say?"

He rubbed his eyes. It had been a very long day. "I don't know. I don't know anymore. I'm confused. All I know is that I want to be here for you. But you don't want me now…I don't blame you. I must seem like an insensitive jerk.."

"So you don't know what you want?" She grabbed her purse. "I'm not going to do this. I need to take care of myself."

"Liv….please don't go…"

"It's too late Elliot. You said it yourself. You don't know what you want."

He followed her out the elevator. "What about you? You don't want me to fight this thing for you, you don't want me to walk away from my family…and now you don't want to be my partner? What, Liv…what do you want?"

Right before the door shut she looked him in the eyes. "You, El. I want you. But not like this."

The door shut before he could answer.