Disclaimer- Not mine. All JK Rowling's.

Chapter Two

Bleary eyes opened to stare at the ceiling in dazed confusion. Harry turned his head to the side, staring blankly at the figure of Snape, slumped in a chair and snoring slightly.

"I must be stuck in limbo," He said, slipping out of the bed and padding across to the bathroom. He splashed some cold water onto his face and used one of the towels to wipe the excess water off. As he did so a pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him back until he was leaning against another body.

"You silly, silly boy," Severus murmured, bending down to bury his face in Harry's shoulder. Harry blinked.

"Erm...I think you're the silly one, actually. I mean, unless they've changed the bible without my knowledge suicide is still a really big sin, which means I should actually be in hell right now, instead of being stuck in purgatory or whatever you want to call it."

"You're not in limbo."

"This is hell? It's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"This isn't hell."

"Well I know that it isn't heaven."

"How?"
"Would my roof still be leaking if I were in heaven?"
"Good point."

There was silence for a moment, apart from the occasional drop of water from the roof.

"So...where am I, then?"

"In your house."

"Oh. Why am I still here?"

"Because you screwed up your timing and I managed to make it here before you carked it."

"Why did you even bother coming, then? You're just going to leave and I'll be able to try again. I'm bound to get it right sooner or later."

"That would be why I'm not leaving."

"Oh? I could have you arrested for trespassing.."
"But you won't."
"How do you know?"

"Because if you do that I'll have you arrested for attempted suicide. It's an offence, you know."
"I'm well aware of that. Do you really think a person would believe you if you told them I tried to take my own life, though? I am the Boy Who Lived, after all."

Harry heard a sigh behind him, before feeling gentle teeth nip at his neck. He immediately hunched up, trying to stop Severus.

"Don't do that." His voice was sharp.

"Why not?"

"Because it's bloody teasing, that's why, and it's not fair," Harry's voice cracked on the last word.

"How do you know that I'm teasing?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must be wrong. You're here because you've suddenly realised that you love me and want to shag me senseless."

"Hm. The suddenly realising bit...no. I've known that for a while now. The shagging you senseless part...the shagging would be good, but I wouldn't be able to shag you senseless since you've already lost all your sense."
"Liar."

"I'm serious. It became quite apparent to me as soon as I realised that you were trying to kill yourself. No person with any sense does that."

"No, they'd just live a life where the only thing that they really want they can't have. That really sounds like living to me!" Harry pulled away and turned around, eyes shimmering with sudden tears. "Every day I would wake up and wonder exactly why I was. Every night I'd fall asleep and pray that I would stay that way. My prayers weren't answered, though, and it soon became quite clear to me that whatever I'd done wrong must have been really big for God to force me to live in such agony. So I decided that God could get fucked. I didn't care what happened to me as long as I didn't have to put up with this torture day after day anymore. And it is torture. Because, you know, everyone tells you that hey, you're great! You saved the world! You've done so much for them! But you don't feel it. You feel like you've accomplished shit-all because there's no one there to prove it to you. And each day you force yourself through you have to watch all these people who are safe, and happy and have what they want because of you, and know that you will never have that because you can't do anything for yourself. And I am not going to stay here and continue to live through that just because you had a sudden attack of conscience!"

Snape rocked back at the sudden fury in Harry's voice.

"And -- And then you have the nerve to say that you love me. That you want to stay with me. And how long would that last, Severus? A day? A week? A month? Not much longer, that's for sure. You'd end up leaving again because you'd be ashamed of us, and things would be the same as they are now. And I can't deal with that. I just...can't." Harry backed away into a corner and slid down the wall, wrapping his arms about his knees and rocking slowly from side to side.

"Yeah? Well...well how do you think I feel?" Snape said, taking a step forward. Harry didn't look up.

"How do you think I felt to find out that the person I left to protect tried to kill themself? How do you think I felt when I realised that it was because of me that you felt that you needed to do that, that you needed to escape from life so badly? And don't say that it wasn't me, because I know that it was! It may not have all been me, but I was what tipped you over the edge! And that makes me feel dirty, and cruel. It makes me feel like a monster and I've spent most of my adult life trying to convince myself that I'm not! I left you because there were still Death Eaters out there, and they were after me. They weren't interested in you anymore, they wanted me because I betrayed You-Know-Who. If they were to find that I was with you, though...if they were to know...How could I protect you from them? They would have tried to kill you to get to me, and I couldn't...I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let them get to you. And it killed me to have to leave you, to have to walk away from you when all I wanted was you, but I did. I did and...I thought you understood. I thought you would have realised. I-I'm sorry. But I couldn't bear the thought of you being hurt because of me. Not when I had already caused so much death and pain. I just...I thought that you would move on, get over it. You're still young, I thought you would find someone else and forget about me. And that hurt the most. I didn't know, I-I didn't think..."

Severus took another step forward and sank to his knees beside him, reaching out a tentative hand to touch his shoulder. Harry flinched.

"I didn't think..."

"No. You didn't. And you used to say that I never thought things through," A muffled voice rose from the hunched-up form that was Harry, followed by a choked-up sob.

"Harry. Look at me. Please. I need...I need to. To see you. Please," Severus shifted to touch the side of Harry's face, slipping two fingers under his chin and lifting Harry's head up to face him.

"Please..." He whispered, leaning forward to kiss the corner of Harry's eye gently, tasting the salty tears that lingered there. "Don't make me leave you. Not again. Please. I want to stay with you..." He shifted to wrap an arm around Harry, pulling him into an awkward hug. There was no response from Harry for a moment, then two pale hands shot out from the hunched form to clutch at the front of Severus' robe.

"Promise..."

Severus drew in a shuddering breath, trying to stop himself from wailing like a child. "I won't leave you again. I promise. I want to stay with you. Please let me stay with you..." He rocked Harry gently, blinking back tears. The two sat there for some hours, rocking together silently.