When Randy got home that night he saw John asleep on the couch. Beer bottles were everywhere. He sighed and walked over to the table. One by one he picked up the bottles and threw them away. After throwing them all away he went back over to the couch and woke up John. "John hey wake up."
John stretched and sat up. "What time is it?"
Randy sat on the arm of the couch. "Almost 9:30." John rubbed his head and got up. He went to the fridge and good out another beer.
"Don't you think you had enough?" Randy said.
John sat the bottle on the coulter. "No I don't." He picked it back up and walked off.
Randy followed him "John please will you just talk to me."
"I don't want to talk!" John yelled. "Just leave me alone."
"But John I just want to help you." Randy said taking John's hand.
John snatched his hand away. "I don't want your help." He yelled knocking over the lamp.
Randy jumped back. "Well excuse me for caring about you." He turned to leave.
"Randy wait." John said looking down. "I just don't know what to do."
Randy turned to John "A friends of mine told about this place where retired solders go to talk. I called and set up a meeting with them tomorrow and I want you to go."
John sat down on the couch. "What if it doesn't help?"
Randy walked over and sat next to him. "Then we'll figure something else out. Can you at least give it a try?"
"Will you come with me?" John asked
"Only if you stop drinking." Randy said holding out his hand.
John looked down at the beer and gave it to Randy. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."
Randy took John's hand. "You don't have to apologies for anything. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. If you want to talk or just be with me I'm here."
John looked over at Randy. "I love you so much.
Randy smiled and rested his forehead against John's. "I love you too." He pulled back "So what happened with Brady's wife?"
"She gave me some things that were Brady's. Like pictures and stuff but she also gave me this letter that Brady wrote to me. I can't bring myself to open it."
"You will." Randy said "Come on we should get some rest."
OOO
The next day
Randy and John sat in the car in front of the huge building.
"I don't think I can do this." John said looking over at Randy.
Randy took John's hand. "I'll be right here."
OOO
Randy and John walked through the building and up to the front desk. "Excuse me."
"May I help you?" The woman said.
"My name is Randy and this is John. I called and sat up a meeting with Mr. Searing."
She looked at her computer. "He will be with you in a moment so why don't you have a seat."
"Thank you." Randy said heading over to the seating area.
"I thought we talked in sessions with other people." John asked.
"We do but I wanted to meet with him first." Randy said.
OOO
"Hey guys my name is Ryan searing. So John how long have you been home?" He asked.
John sighed "About three days."
"And how has it been?" Mr. Searing asked.
"It's been tough. I've been having nightmares and seeing things. I lost my best friend and it's been eating me up inside." John took a deep breath. "I hear gun shots, hear people screaming and I see blood." He rubbed his face. "Brady has a three month old daughter and I feel so guilty that I got her father killed."
"John Brady's death wasn't your fault." Ryan said.
"You weren't there. I had the shot to take that guy out but my gun jammed. The first thing you do when you go out is make sure your gun works." John said "I screwed up and he paid the price."
"You're being too hard on yourself." Ryan said. "You think Brady would want this for you, to feel this way about his death?"
John wiped his face. I know he wouldn't but-"
"He was your best friend. I know how hard this must be for you." Ryan sat forward "A few Years ago I lost my little brother in the army. His death screwed me up bad. I started drinking and taking out my anger on my family. It wasn't until I hit rock bottom when I realized that I needed to chance."
"What happened?" John asked.
"I was drunk driving and got into an accident." Ryan pointed at a picture on his desk. "If it wasn't for my family I wouldn't be here right now."
John looked at the photo. "You have a beautiful family."
Ryan smiled "Thank you but John family is the most important thing and in times like this you need them now more than ever."
John looked over at Randy and took his hand. "Yeah he's always been there for me but I've been pushing him away."
Ryan nodded "Look why don't you come to our group session tomorrow night. There are a lot of people who will understand and help you through this. I know you feel like you're alone but you're not. I think you'll like it here and I promise you that it will help."
John nodded "Okay."
Ryan stood up. "Well it was nice to meet you both and I'm looking forward to see you again."
John stood up and shook his hand. "Me too."
Randy shook his hand. "Thank you for seeing us Mr. Searing."
"Anytime." Ryan said smiling.
OOO
That night
"I still don't think I can close my eyes without seeing him." John said.
Randy pulled John onto his chest. "Close your eyes and I won't let anything happen to you."
John wrapped his arms around Randy's waist. "I love you and I don't know what I would do without you."
Randy smiled and kissed John on the head "Good thing we don't ever have to find out and I love you too."