Chapter 2 - Revelations
Across town, Gibbs pulled into his driveway and turned off the Challenger's ignition. He sat there for a moment before getting out and heading up the stone walk his house. He had stopped by the store to pick up a six-pack of Tony's favorite beer. Gibbs headed upstairs to shower and change before heading over to Tony's place. Something was bothering Tony, which in turn was bothering him. For years he has watched Tony closely, learning the difference between when he was being himself and when he was hiding. Hiding exactly what Gibbs wasn't totally sure, but he was bound and determined to find out. His gut was telling him that no matter what happened tonight, his relationship with Tony was in for a big change.
Gibbs had a secret of his own that he had kept hidden from everyone except Shannon. Everyone thought that he was ramrod straight when he was, in reality, bisexual and always had been. He'd had girlfriends, but he also had a few flings with guys back to high school and when he first joined the Marine Corp. Shannon knew he swung both ways when they first met, being from such a small town, but she never judged him. They had been friends for years before Gibbs got up enough courage to ask her out. Of course, once they started dating there was no one but Shannon for him.
When they got married, Gibbs thought his life was pretty damn near perfect, except for the times when he was deployed. He felt like he was missing out on so much time with his girls, especially missing Kelly growing up. Shannon never made him talk about what he went through during his tours overseas, and he was grateful for that. When Shannon and Kelly were killed, he came very close to taking his own life. He didn't think he could go on living without them. After a year or so of deep grief, Gibbs decided he needed to move on; Shannon would have wanted that for him.
He met Mike Franks soon after his discharge from active duty. Franks immediately recruited him to his team at the NIS, which would later become NCIS. Franks was a tough boss, but he never cared what Gibbs did or who he spent his off hours with as long as it didn't affect his job. They were a two-man team for a couple of years. One night after a tough case, Gibbs confided in Franks over a bottle of bourbon that he had met a man and that he was attracted to him. Franks didn't seem overly shocked by the news. "Well, hell Probie, far be it from me to tell you how to live your life. Doesn't matter to me who you're heating up the sheets with, just be careful." That was all Mike Franks ever had to say on the subject.
Gibbs has had his fair share of male and female relationships over the years. Hell, three women even convinced him to marry them. He only married them because he didn't want to be alone anymore. He wanted desperately to recapture what he had with Shannon, but none of the redheads he married came close. Eventually, he gave up and just dated casually when he found the time. None of his post-divorce relationships ever lasted long; usually only a few weeks at most. Getting called out on a case in the middle of the night or on most weekends pretty much made sure no one hung in there for the long haul. Gibbs didn't really care; he knew he could pick up a one-night stand if the need was great enough.
Somehow, though, Tony DiNozzo breezed into his life and turned everything upside down. Yes, like nearly everyone Tony ever encountered, male and female, Gibbs thought Tony was gorgeous. However, Gibbs seemed to be the only person who was able to see beyond Tony's physical beauty and see the beauty inside. Tony was more caring, empathetic, and kind than anyone he had ever met. He was also a consummate professional when he needed to be. Sure, Tony was great at keeping things light at work, sometimes earning multiple head slaps on any given day due to his off the wall antics. Gibbs knew that Tony's antics were a great help to the team, keeping all of them from dwelling on some of the really dark things they dealt with on a daily basis. Tony was also able to stand up to Gibbs, which very few people ever attempted to do.
Tony was an enigma to Gibbs. He was smart and funny and could draw Gibbs out of a bad mood better than anyone. He cared deeply for his teammates; Tim, Ziva and Abby were more like a brother and sisters than mere co-workers. At times, the sibling-like squabbling grew to epic proportions before Gibbs had to step in and put a stop to it. Ducky thought of Tony as his grandson, which pleased Tony immensely.
Gibbs and Ducky have had many discussions over the years concerning Tony. Ducky saw Tony and Gibbs' relationship as a sort of 'father and son' thing, but Gibbs could never tell Ducky that he felt more than a familial bond with Tony. Ducky, of course, wouldn't have a problem at all with Gibbs and Tony being together. His own relationship with Gerald was proof of that. Hell, he'd probably ask what took them so long!
Gibbs climbed into the shower and thought about the "talk" he wanted to have with Tony tonight. If he could find the courage to tell Tony that he was in love with him, would Tony shoot him, punch him, tell him to get the hell out, or let him down gently? He felt he owed it to Tony, and himself, to be honest and lay all of his cards on the table, come what may. If Tony freaked out, Gibbs would make sure that Tony was transferred to a good team if they couldn't continue working together after such a revelation. If by some miracle Tony returned his feelings, well, then, they had A LOT to talk about.
By 6:30 Gibbs was showered and dressed in a pair of faded jeans that actually fit and his favorite Marine Corp sweatshirt. He grabbed his leather jacket, wallet and keys and headed for the door. He paused for a moment on the driveway to take a deep breath before getting into his car. "Well, I guess I'll know soon enough," he muttered to himself as he turned the key, the Challenger roaring to life.
Never one to be late, Gibbs knocked on Tony's door at 6:55. Tony took a deep breath before he opened the door with a smile, stepping back so that Gibbs could enter.
"Here, let me hang up your jacket," offered Tony. Gibbs removed his jacket and handed it to him. Tony went to hang it on a hook near the door, but not before he gave it a good sniff. He closed his eyes for a moment letting the smell of sawdust calm him. He didn't know what it was, but that smell always helped him relax. Maybe it was because it meant Gibbs was near, and that made him feel safe.
Gibbs smirked. "Thanks, Tony. Want me to put the beer in the fridge?" Tony just nodded as Gibbs headed towards the kitchen. He pulled out two bottles before putting the rest in the refrigerator. He walked back out to the living room and handed one of the bottles to Tony.
"Thanks. My favorite brand, too," Tony said as he smiled shyly at Gibbs. "Pizza should be here in about ten minutes. Have a seat, the game's about to start."
Gibbs nodded and they both sat on the couch, closer than they normally would. Tony didn't seem to mind, so Gibbs relaxed and took a long pull on his beer and looked around the spacious living room. He had been there several times before, but never noticed how tastefully it was decorated.
The dark brown suede leather couch and matching recliner were in the center of the room sitting adjacent to each other on a large cream and tan rug facing the TV. Modern lamps adorned the oak end tables at both ends of the couch. There were four huge floor-to-ceiling windows along the far wall behind the couch. An oak writing desk was against the wall between two of the windows. A door in the center of the wall led out onto a small balcony. The adjacent wall to the right contained bookcases which housed an eclectic mix of fiction and non-fiction books as well as Tony's extensive DVD and video game collections. To the left of the windows was a corner gas fireplace.
To the right of the doorway facing the couch was Tony's huge, flat screen TV perched atop an entertainment center that housed his top of the line stereo system, Xbox and DVD player. Several black and white prints from classic movies hung on the walls.
Exactly ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. Tony jumped up and opened the door to pay for the pizza expecting to see his usual delivery guy. "Hey, where's Mike? He always delivers in this area," Tony asked the unfamiliar delivery guy. "Your boss actually gave him a night off?"
"Yeah, I guess. Think he's sick or out of town or something. Hey, I'm Brad, by the way." The delivery guy held out his hand to Tony who shook it. Brad was young, average height with shaggy sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Tony figured he was just another college kid trying to earn some beer money for the weekend.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Brad. Tell Mike I said hi when you see him." Tony grinned, but his grin faded as Brad looked at him with an almost feral look in his eyes. Tony held out money to pay for the pizza and a tip. Brad gasped as he ran his fingers over Tony's as he accepted the cash. Tony quickly pulled his hand away and Brad sighed.
"Yeah, sure. I hope I will get another chance to stop by sometime." Brad looked Tony up and down and licked his lips. "Thanks, man. Hope to see you again – soon." He turned and headed down the hallway. With a shiver, Tony shut and locked the door.
"Man, that dude was creepy."
Gibbs had gathered plates and napkins in the kitchen and was making his way back out into the living room. "What dude?"
"The new pizza guy. I swear he was coming on to me." Tony visibly shivered at the thought causing Gibbs to chuckle. "Something about him gave me the willies."
Tony bent over to remove the vase of flowers to make room for the pizza box on the coffee table. Not knowing Tony to be a big fan of flowers, Gibbs had to ask, "Didn't know you liked flowers, DiNozzo. Those from someone special or a secret admirer?"
Tony snorted at that. "I don't know who the hell they are from. They were on my doorstep tonight when I got home."
"Seriously? Was there a card?" Gibbs asked, suddenly feeling a spark of jealousy.
"Yeah. Just said 'You Will Be Mine, Soon'. Kinda creepy since I have no clue who sent 'em." Tony looked at Gibbs and noticed that he was frowning. "Something wrong, boss?"
"We're not at work, Tony, you don't have to call me boss," Gibbs stated, still trying to get back under control.
"Sorry. Habit, I guess." Tony snickered and shot a smile at Gibbs. Gibbs could never resist Tony's smile, so all he could do was smile in return. In fact, a genuine smile from Tony made him weak in the knees.
"Okay. I don't know about you, but I am starving. Let's eat!" Tony clapped and rubbed his hands together before opening the box and placing a slice on both plates, handing one of them to Gibbs.
The pizza was quickly devoured. Tony and Gibbs both leaned back on the couch, sipping on fresh bottles of beer. Neither man was a huge baseball fan, but it was nice to see the "home" team with a huge lead, so they watched the game in companionable silence for a while.
"Man, I love pizza," Tony groaned, "but I think I ate too much. I am stuffed!"
Gibbs chuckled and said, "I don't know where the hell you put it, DiNozzo. If I ate like you I'd weigh 300 pounds."
Tony laughed, "Yeah, well I have a fast metabolism. It's a DiNozzo trait."
After several minutes of silence, the only sound being the mostly forgotten Nationals game, Tony asked, "So, what did you want to talk to me about, Gibbs?"
'Okay, here goes nothing' Gibbs thought to himself as he took a deep breath and steeled himself. 'Please, God, don't let me screw this up and scare him away'.
"I'm worried about you, Tony. I've noticed some changes in you the last couple of months, and every day I'm afraid you're going to tell me you're leaving. God knows you've gone way past two years with NCIS." After a long pause spent picking at the label on his beer bottle, Gibbs finally asked, "Are you happy, Tony?"
"Why do you think I'm not happy? Is this about Tim and Ziva giving me crap this morning?" Tony was confused. He didn't know what Gibbs wanted to talk about, but he certainly didn't expect this. No one has ever cared about him before, so this made Tony a little anxious.
"Partly, although I've noticed the last few weeks you haven't been yourself. But, it's mostly because of something I saw a couple of months ago; something that has been bothering me. I guess I need to know what it means, for us."
"Ummmm, us?" Now Tony was nervous and totally confused. "Gibbs, I don't understand what you're talking about here."
"Majestic," Gibbs blurted out.
"Y-y-you've been to Majestic?" Now, Tony was completely floored, his jaw nearly hitting the floor. "You know that Majestic is an 'alternative' club, right?"
"Yeah, a friend dragged me in there one night." Gibbs looked straight into Tony's eyes and saw nothing but fear.
"A friend? Who? Anyone I know?" Tony was desperately tying to think of who Gibbs would know that hung out at a club like Majestic.
"No. No one you would know. I have an old friend from the Corp. who recently moved to DC and said he'd heard about this place. Taking another deep breath, Gibbs whispered, "I saw you there, and you weren't alone."
"Oh, God! How long ago?" Tony was nearly panicked now.
"Doesn't matter. Only thing that matters is that I know," Gibbs sat up straight and continued, "and I think you know, too."
"Gibbs, what are you saying?" It was barely a whisper, but Gibbs heard it.
"I saw the guy you were with. I tried to put it out of my mind, but the image of you and a guy who looked a hell of a lot like me kissing out on the dance floor won't go away. I have to know, Tony." After a brief pause, Gibbs asked in a shaky voice, "Were you pretending it was me you were kissing?" Gibbs licked his suddenly dry lips and took a pull off of his beer with a shaky hand.
Flashback:
What the hell was I thinking letting Mitch drag me here? Gibbs was not a nightclub kind of guy. He preferred a quiet pub, where you could actually have a conversation without yelling over what passed for music in this place. The Majestic was a newer club in the Dupont Circle district. Typical of other clubs in the area, it had the standard neon and strobe lights, and crappy music.
Gibbs and Mitchell Hayden met during Desert Storm. They were both snipers and had quickly formed a bond. Mitch was a good looking guy; six-two with dark blonde hair and brown eyes. They hooked up one night after Mitch had gotten a Dear John letter. Neither man expected anything from the other. It was one night of nothing more than jerking each other off. They never spoke about it, deciding to just be friends. A war zone was no place for a relationship. Besides, Gibbs had Shannon and Kelly waiting for him at home. Shannon would understand that he had needs, but Gibbs would never consider being with another woman. For some reason, finding comfort and release with a male comrade in arms was different.
"You want to sit at the bar or grab a booth?" Mitch, dressed in faded jeans and a black t-shirt led Gibbs into the bar. Gibbs was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans that actually hugged his ass and a dark blue dress shirt, untucked with the sleeves rolled up. He didn't like to dress up much, but he didn't mind doing it on occasion.
"Booth would be good. Go grab one and I'll get our drinks." Gibbs looked around the crowded bar. Black vinyl booths lined three of the walls surrounding the huge dance floor. The bar with its impressive liquor assortment took up most of the other wall.
Majestic wasn't a hardcore fetish bar, but it was definitely an alternative establishment. Gibbs noticed several same-sex couples making out throughout the large room. He noticed a few collars adorning necks in the crowd. Gibbs had a passing knowledge of the BDSM scene, but he hadn't played that way in years. It was not really his thing, but he did see its appeal at times. It was great stress relief, but he never wanted a Dom/sub relationship with anyone. He flat out refused to play with female subs; too afraid that he would hurt them. Even with male subs he wasn't into hardcore domination.
Gibbs made his way to the bar and ordered two bourbons, neat. The bartender placed the drinks down in front of Gibbs, who paid and left a generous tip. "Thanks, man. I'm Brian. Let me know if you need anything, and I mean ANYTHING else." Brian was practically drooling, his voice trailing off while his eyes scanned up and down Gibbs' body. Gibbs rolled his eyes and grunted thanks before making his way back to Mitch. The last thing he needed right now was some hot, young stud half his age hitting on him.
Gibbs had just sat the drinks down and slid into the booth opposite Mitch when he got the shock of his life. They were in a booth that gave them a clear view of most of the dance floor. Gibbs had been glancing around when his eyes fell on the last person he would expect to see in a place like this.
There, on the dance floor, with his arms hanging relaxed over the shoulders of a good-looking older, gray-haired man, was his Senior Field Agent. Gibbs sat stunned and watched as Tony and the man smiled at each other while swaying to the music before closing the gap between them in a passionate kiss. "Son of a bitch!" Gibbs practically growled before picking up his drink and downing it in one go.
"You all right, Gibbs?" Mitch looked at Gibbs, wondering what had caused such a reaction. He followed Gibbs' gaze and knew immediately what it was. Mitch had gotten Gibbs to confess that he had unresolved feeling for Tony months ago. He knew that Gibbs truly believed that Tony was a hetero as could be; a classic skirt chaser. "Holy shit! Isn't that YOUR Tony?" Mitch exclaimed, his eyes wide.
"Obviously, he's not MY Tony, is he?" Gibbs looked at Mitch with a deep frown. "I gotta get out of here before he sees me."
Mitch reached out and placed his hand on Gibbs' arm. "What the hell are you talking about? He's obviously bi, and so are you, so this couldn't be a more perfect opportunity."
"You don't know Tony, Mitch. If he sees me he will bolt, afraid of how I might react, and I may never see him again. I could lose him as an agent on my team, and as a friend. No, I gotta get out of here – NOW!"
Mitch quickly finished his drink and followed Gibbs as he made his way to the exit. Gibbs was shaking by the time he made it outside. This has got to be a joke or a bizarre nightmare, Gibbs thought to himself. DiNozzo is bisexual? Gibbs needed to think. He suddenly had a lot to process; and the thought of DiNozzo with another man, someone else, struck a chord deep in his soul. He had to figure out something fast. No way was he going to let anyone else have Tony – his Tony.
End Flashback
Tony was unusually quiet, not sure what to say or do. After a few moments, they looked at each other, both wearing desperate expressions on their faces; both tying to figure out what the hell to say next. The one thing Tony could never do to Gibbs is lie, so he took Gibbs' beer and sat it down on the coffee table next to his own. Then he turned to face Gibbs and asked almost shyly, "And if I wanted to be kissing you instead? I mean, Gibbs, if I ever thought…"
Anything else Tony was going to say was instantly cut off by the warm press of Gibbs' lips on his own. The kiss started out tentative; just a brief almost chaste kiss. It was sweet and tender, and nothing like Tony would expect from a guy like Gibbs. After the kiss ended, Tony and Gibbs could only stare into each other's eyes, both of them grinning like idiots.
Tony did the only thing he could think of; he went back in for another kiss. Gibbs met him halfway, sparks flying as their lips met. This kiss quickly turned passionate. Both men were pouring their unspoken feelings into the kiss. Their tongues danced against each other, neither man trying to take control. The need for air finally forced them to break the kiss. They rested their foreheads together, both panting and trying to catch their breath.
Tony finally sat back and cleared his throat. "Damn, Gibbs! That was fantastic."
Gibbs chuckled and took both of Tony's hands in his. "Not too bad yourself, DiNozzo. I think I could get used to that."
"So, um, what's happening here, Gibbs? I should really be freaking out. I mean, help me out here, Gibbs! What brought this on? Why now? Hell, why ME? You've never given any indication that you were into guys."
"I told you. I saw you with a guy who could have damn near been my twin," Gibbs said trying to hide the jealously threatening to take over. "Not to mention, I had no idea you swung that way. It was a lot to process, as I'm sure you can understand."
Gibbs released Tony's hands and ran a hand down his face. It was now or never; Gibbs had to let Tony know how he felt. There would be no turning back, but come what may, Gibbs sucked up every ounce of courage he could muster.
"Tony, look at me," Gibbs said quietly while lifting Tony's chin so he could look him in the eye. "Tony - I –I think I'm falling in love with you," Gibbs said, his voice shaking slightly. "I only hope that you feel something for me, too." Tony gazed back at Gibbs with a combination of wonder and shock in his eyes.
"Why are you just telling me all of this now? Why didn't you say anything before?" Tony whispered while looking at his fingers as he pulled on a loose thread on his jeans.
"I needed time to think, Tony. I was shocked, to say the least, especially after hearing countless tales of your conquests over the years." Gibbs paused, wanting to choose his next words carefully. "When I saw you kissing that guy, feelings that I have been trying to keep hidden came crashing down around me. I needed to get a handle on it before I could tell you."
Tony was stunned. Gibbs talking about feelings was a shock; that those feeling were about him was unfathomable in Tony's mind. Suddenly, tears of happiness he couldn't hold back began rolling down Tony's cheeks as Gibbs' words sank in. "Gibbs … Jethro, I have been in love with you for years." Tony was barely able to speak as a sob of relief threatened to overtake him. "Never in my wildest dreams, and believe me there have been a lot of those, did I think this could happen." Tony couldn't hide the smile that suddenly threatened to split his face in two.
"It's real for me, Tony. It's real for you, too, if that's what you want. But, you should know, I take relationships seriously. I'm not looking for a few dates, or a few weeks with you. If we decide we want to be together, then that's it - no one else for either of us. Think you can handle that?" Gibbs knew he had to let Tony know important he was to him. "I don't want just sex, Tony. You are worth so much more to me than that." Gibbs looked into Tony's shining green eyes, which were again spilling tears. Gibbs held Tony's face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.
"Oh God, Gibbs! I have to be dreaming. Telling me what you want and how you feel. That's a lot of talk for a functional mute, you know." Tony shook his head and smiled back at Gibbs. "I can't imagine ever wanting anyone but you, Jethro. You are the Superbowl and winning the lottery all rolled into one." Gibbs snickered at that. Tony turned serious and grabbed both of Gibbs hands to make sure he had his attention. "I can't believe that you, of all people, think I'm worth more than a roll in the hay. No one has ever wanted to keep me around very long; no one has ever found me worth a damn."
Gibbs frowned seeing the sadness that began to creep into Tony's eyes. "Anyone thinking that about you is an idiot and they don't deserve you," Gibbs said with as much sincerity as he could. Tony gave him a shy smile and nodded.
A thought suddenly struck Gibbs. "Tony, I have to know. Are you still seeing him, the guy I saw you with?"
"We weren't dating or anything. I'd only see him when I went to the club. I did meet up with him this weekend." Tony paused as Gibbs tensed beside him. "Gibbs, I don't have feelings for him. How could I? He's a cheap imitation of you, nothing more. We've hooked up a few times, but nothing serious. Call it stress relief, or something. I haven't been out to the clubs much lately. I've pretty much given up trying to find someone. No one, male or female, can compare to you. Believe me I've tried, but…" Any further words were cut off as Gibbs crushed their lips together pouring everything he was feeling into the kiss.
After several minutes, they broke apart both men panting and smiling at each other.
Tony laughed, his green eyes sparkling, and shook his head before yawning. "Well, I don't know about you, Gibbs, but I don't think I can handle much more of this emotional stuff tonight. It's getting late, and my boss will kick my ass if I start falling asleep at my desk tomorrow." Tony stood to take the empty beer bottles and pizza box into the kitchen. Gibbs followed bringing their plates and setting them in the sink.
"Yeah, I guess I better head home." Gibbs sounded tired, but was really dreading going back to his cold, lonely, empty house.
"I wasn't kicking you out, boss!" Tony chuckled. "The couch is pretty damn comfy, or, ummm … you're welcome to share my bed." Tony almost regretted making that offer thinking there was no way he would be able to behave and keep his hands to himself if he shared a bed with Gibbs.
"Your bed sounds great, Tony, but just to sleep, got it? We're both exhausted." Gibbs noticed the relief that flashed through Tony's eyes. "Besides, I want us to date and actually get to know each other better before we even think about starting a physical relationship. Does that work for you?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow in question.
Tony immediately broke into a huge grin. "You want to date me? Seriously?" Tony was looking at Gibbs trying to gauge if he was serious and quickly sobered. "I would really like that, Jethro. I think we should take this slow, too. Come on, I'm beat and you look like you're about to drop." Both men knew they still had a lot to talk about, but they were off to a good start.
Gibbs grinned at Tony. "Um, I brought my kit, just in case. Let me run down and get it out of my car." Gibbs gave Tony's hand a squeeze before opening the door. Tony returned the squeeze and added a smile.
When he returned, Tony led Gibbs down the hall to his bedroom. After both men finished their nightly routines in the bathroom, they crawled under the covers wearing t-shirts and boxers. Tony turned onto his left side to face Gibbs, who was on his right side looking at Tony with affection in his eyes. They smiled shyly at each other before leaning toward each other for a good night kiss.
"Night, Gibbs." Tony smiled, then yawned and turned onto his right side, which is how he usually slept.
"Night, Tony." Gibbs yawned as well, then swung his arm over Tony's waist and pulled him close. "This okay?"
"Hell yeah," Tony said with another jaw cracking yawn. Soon, both men were pulled into a deep, contented sleep.