Oh I am on a roll here people...just a little over a week and I have updated. This is quite momentous for me...I think I might give myself a pat on the back *pat, pat*. Since this story is set at the end of season three (it is more like the season three finale never happened because you will be seeing Zack real soon) I always wanted to fiddle with the whole fake death aspect and its repercussions. Thank you to all of you who reviewed, faved and alerted this story...it put a smile on my face, which is hard to do with no new Bones episodes until the fall. I hope you enjoy chapter 2: The Record of Forgiveness
And not to be forgotten...my wonderful beta MoonlightGardenias who takes the time to not only edit every chapter, but she also keeps me on the straight and narrow with my characterization so I can deliver the best story possible. She deserves the pat on the back more than I...and a pony because everyone should have a pony :D
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For Dr. Lance Sweets, the day had started out like any other Saturday. He awoke to the gentle sounds of the streets beneath his small yet affordable apartment, slipped into his fuzzy robe, and walked into his living room where his action figures decorated the shelving around his TV. He turned on the TV to his favourite channel; that coyote always cracked him up especially when he held up the 'Yipes' sign. He wandered into his adjoining kitchen and poured himself a glass of milk and started to eat his much ritualized breakfast of Lucky Charms. After his 'hearty' breakfast, he decided he would go to the office to catch up on some much needed paper work.
It had been close to noon when his leisurely afternoon was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. As he read the name on the caller id, he felt the colour drain from his face. He had been expecting this call for quite some time, ever since he had front row seats to the funeral slugfest. The conversation was brief because it wasn't really a conversation, more of a command for a meeting to discuss a few things. Before Sweets could make an excuse he heard a click on the other end of the line.
So over the next couple of hours he sat there, in his office, imagining how he was going to perish. It brought back memories of his teen years when his morose appearance reflected his contemplation of death and what life itself meant. As he got older and started to find his place within the world he started to really like the idea of the 'very old and in his sleep' type of death. Unfortunately, due to his own obsession with two of his patients he was probably going to meet his untimely demise being pummelled to death, or possibly thrown out the window, or shot. Sweets bent his head down until his forehead hit his desk. After a mumbled 'ow' he turned his head until his right cheek was pressed against the surface. He stared at the beige walls in his office. God, he hated those muted tones which were meant to soothe, but in reality he felt anything but soothed.
Sweets suddenly bolted upward when the voices from the waiting room took on an all too familiar arguing elevation. He couldn't put this off for much longer; it was 5pm on Saturday night, thirty minutes past their scheduled meeting, and keeping them waiting was only making it worse. He reached for his top drawer and pulled the handle until its contents were revealed. On the very top was a small piece of paper with Booth's strong cursive filling up each line, he quickly slammed the drawer shut. He hadn't meant for this to happen and did not mean for it to go this far, but there was no way around it; he would have to face the music, or in this case a FBI Agent with a gun and a Forensic Anthropologist with a black belt.
He stood, puffed out his chest, and tried to feel confident, but it all went to the wayside the moment he opened the door and saw the raging battle that was going on. There was no way he was going to survive this.
"Um Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth I can see you now." Sweets scurried back inside his office to his desk not waiting for an answer. He gripped his note pad and pen as if it was his life line. He turned to see Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan striding towards their usual seats.
"About time, Sweets." Booth stated as he tried to get comfortable on the couch.
"I am sorry I was on the phone with a uh...patient... yes a patient."
"On a Saturday night?" Booth asked.
"We're meeting on a Saturday night, Agent Booth."
"Whatever, Sweets." Booth undid his jacket revealing his holstered gun. Sweets gulped.
"So, um, Agent Booth, you are the one that called this meeting..."
"Unnecessary meeting, Dr. Sweets." Brennan corrected.
"Bones, we have been over this. We need some help, even if it is from him, because things are not fine between us."
"I am fine, Dr. Sweets." Dr. Brennan stated.
"Oh, well if she is fine then I am fantastic, so fantastic that rainbows are coming out of my ears."
"Booth, it is scientifically impossible..."
"I think what Agent Booth is trying to say is..."
"That my girlfriend blaming me for something that isn't my fault."
"I am not your girlfriend Booth, well I mean I am your friend and a girl, but not in the context you are placing it in."
"You see Sweets, do you see what I have been putting up with?"
"Um, actually Agent..."
"Booth is just having a hard time to adjusting to the fact that a simple apology is not going to work."
"It would if you would accept it."
"And forgive you for everything under the guise of this supposed list?"
"It exists, Bones! Why would I lie? I want to make this right, not worse."
"I don't know, Booth; I am not privy to your inner thoughts."
"Doctor Brennan, I think that you should know that..."
"You know what, Bones, I think that you don't want there to be a list."
"Is that so?"
"Yes that is so, because that would mean that you are wrong, which you are, and if you are wrong then you would have to forgive me."
"I did face it, Booth. It was Angela that dragged me to your funeral, I was perfectly satisfied that you were just a corpse." Booth was gobsmacked. Sweets' eyes darted back and forth between the two; things were worse than he thought. One was almost in complete denial and the other was forcing an issue that hadn't really been dealt with yet.
"You, you weren't even going to go to my funeral?"
"No I wasn't."
"But Bones, I was dead and you weren't even going to come to say goodbye?"
"Correction, you weren't dead."
"You didn't know that!"
"And whose fault was that?" She crossed her arms as he exhaled in exasperation.
"Bones, if I die..."
"When Booth, when you die. All human beings have a life span; I don't think even you can fake that." Booth took a few controlled deep breaths before replying.
"Fine. When I die, I want you there, at my funeral. Ok?"
"Why? You would be dead; you wouldn't even know or be there."
"I would be there for you."
"Like you were when you faked your death."
"And we welcome back the elephant." Booth threw his hands up in the air.
"What Elephant?" Brennan asked thoroughly perplexed.
"Oh come on. Bones, can't you see him in the corner there eating peanuts?" Booth pointed to the far corner behinds Sweets. Brennan turned to look at the empty corner.
"I don't see any pachyderms, Booth."
"Well, there you go. That is why we are here, because you can't see it!"
"There is nothing there, Booth!"
"Agent Booth, I think there is something you should know..."
"Stay out of this, Sweets." Booth sniped.
"But Agent Booth, you asked me to help and I need you to understand..."
"Oh, I understand Sweets all too well. Bones believes that I lied to her about my list, but I didn't."
"Then where is this list? Is it with your imaginary elephant?"
"No," Booth grinded his teach together slightly, "I gave it to Cullen and he said that he would give the list to someone to handle it." He said through clenched teeth.
"Dr. Brennan, this is totally my..."
"Not now Sweets." Booth warned.
"No Booth, you told me you would ask him, so ask him about the list."
"You're right I did. Prepare for a world of wrongness Bones," Brennan rolled her eyes as Booth turned to Sweets, "I wrote a list and I want you to..."
"IT WAS ME!" Sweets yelled. "It was me, oh god, it was me." Booth and Brennan both looked at Sweets as if he had grown a third head.
"It was you what, Sweets?" Booth asked.
"It was me... I am so sorry...I thought that I would find...and I did...but the ramifications...oh God, I am so sorry!" Sweets placed his face in his hands and leaned over until his head was between his legs. He just kept mumbling his apologies.
"Is he ok Booth, he looks like he is going to vomit?"
"I don't know. Sweets, what are you talking about?" Sweets couldn't take it anymore; he had to get it off of his chest.
"THE LIST!!!"
"The List?" Brennan asked.
"You mean my list?" Booth's eyes narrowed.
"Yes, Booth's death list. I had it, and I was the one who didn't tell you, Dr. Brennan." He scrunched up his eyes and held up his pad of paper as a shield.
"IT WAS YOU!" Within seconds, Booth was up on his feet and paper and pen went flying as Booth grabbed Sweets by the scruff of his shirt. Sweets could feel nothing but air beneath his feet. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!"
"Agent Booth, I think you should be aware that you're possibly projecting some emotions of guilt upon me," Sweets felt Booth's grip tighten, "but, I think that they might be warranted."
"How dare you mess around with our lives like that?! Do you know what you put her through?"
"I thought...there was no real harm... "
"No harm, are you kidding me?!"
"It's not like you were really dead."
"She didn't know that!" Booth moved Sweets' mid air to the wall and slammed him rather hard against it. "We are not your stupid little action figures that you can manipulate!"
"I know that Agent Booth...I just... I just...." Sweets was finding it was getting harder and harder to breath. "I wanted information."
"About what?"
"I...I...I can't reveal my findings without Dr. Brennan's permission." Sweets managed to squeak out.
Booth continued to yell as Brennan sat there, still slightly struck by the fact that there was a list. She had been so certain that he had forgotten about her, that he didn't think she should know, but in reality he hadn't lied after all. Sweets had denied her the truth to gauge her emotional response to Booth's death. She had been part of an experiment; a poorly constructed one that was out to prove something that had been trying to find the light of day for a very long time. Brennan looked up and saw that Booth was slowly cutting off Sweets' air supply, not that the latter didn't deserve it.
"Booth, put him down."
"No way Bones, he needs to be punished. I want him to know pain."
"Booth, stop being dramatic and put him down."
"Dramatic?" Booth asked incredulously, "Bones, why aren't you mad? He messed with our lives and you are just sitting there."
"You are partly to blame Booth, you should have told me to my face, but instead you just relied on other people to tell me."
"But Bones..."
"Booth..." She warned.
"This isn't over, Sweets." Sweets finally felt the comfort of his office floor underneath his feet and started to rub his neck, thankful to still have one. Booth threaded his fingers through his hair and moved towards the window to calm himself.
"I want to see it." Brennan stated calmly.
"The List? Oh yes, of course." Sweets rushed to the drawer and retrieved the list and rushed forward to hand it to her.
Brennan took the list from Sweets and gazed upon all too familiar handwriting. On the very first line, next to the "number one" were two names: Dr. Temperance Brennan with 'Bones' in brackets and Parker Booth. He had placed her next to his son on the same line. Brennan knew that there was nothing more important to him than his son, and for her to be even mentioned on the same page as Parker made her breath hitch at the back of her throat. She glanced casually down the list until she was at the very bottom. There was one final sentence that made her feel like her heart was searing her flesh to break free: "Bones has to be told, because I would never want her to think that I would leave her behind, not after what she has been through." Brennan read it over again then folded the paper and clutched it between her hands.
She looked over at Booth, who was now searching her face for the forgiveness he yearned for. She turned her gaze towards Sweets who averted her gaze to look at his feet. She turned her gaze back to the note squeezed tightly in her hand. She had found the truth, but then why did it still hurt so much? Even after reading the note, her chest ached and she couldn't explain it. The note should have helped, but it seemed to make it only mildly better. For the first time in her life factual evidence wasn't providing the comfort she needed. She bowed her head still staring at the note in her hand and let out a ragged breath. The image of her hands was suddenly replaced with his strong hands over hers.
"Bones?" She looked at him and felt her eyes well.
"Sweets. Out." The psychologist practically ran out the door just as Booth brought his hand up to her cheek, gently wiping away the tear that dared to fall.
"Bones, you were always meant to know."
"Obviously." She stated as she gestured to the note in her hand.
"I know I should have told you in person, and I will regret not doing it for the rest of my life, but it wasn't entirely my fault."
"You're right it is partly your fault, however..." She paused not really wanting to say the words.
"However..." He urged as he free hand squeezed hers. She sighed.
"... However given the fact that you didn't lie... I forgive you for being completely insensitive and not telling me to my face, but instead writing it on a note which should have been placed in better hands."
"Bones, that is not really forgiving me." Brennan raised her eye brow, "But I'll take what I can get."
Booth let out a breath which he had been holding for the last two weeks. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead, then on the almost dry tear trail, and then on her lips. The tender pressure and warmth of his lips was enough to bring hers back to life. The memory of the passionate kiss he had placed on her lips before their session was replaced by the tenderness and forgiving nature of this one. She kissed him back, content enough with the sweetness that was Seeley Booth. He suckled her sweet taste for a few seconds more before he pulled back separating their lips just enough for their speech not to be mumbled.
"So where do we go from here?" His eyes searched hers.
"I don't really know Booth, but I don't think we have to get back together, because apparently you would not agree to break up with me." She smiled slightly.
"So this means that we are still..." He said, leading her to finish his thought.
"Yes, we are still in what you would consider a relationship."
"A romantic relationship?"
"Yes, Booth, a romantic relationship."
"And we can start dating?"
"No, we are going to try defying the laws of physics first."
"Oh come on, Bones." He whined slightly.
"Booth, technically our breakfast at the diner weeks ago could be considered our first official date."
"No, no, no...that was a pre-date date Bones."
"A pre-date?"
"We weren't technically a couple then were we?"
"Well no..."
"You see! So now we can go on our official first date, Bones."
"You think you are going to win on a technicality Booth?"
"I didn't know we were in a race, Bones?" She bit her bottom lip and looked at him, not convinced it was a good idea.
"Come on Bones, you know you can't resist all of this decked out." He stood and did a little spin and resting his hands on his hips revealing his well defined torso. Brennan stood as well.
"And I know you cannot resist me in my celebration suite." Booth chuckled.
"I think you mean birthday suite, and you're right, I wouldn't be able to resist and that is why our first date will be with clothing required."
"Booth..."
"Oh come on, Bones you know I am going to take you on the most fabulous date first, we will do anything you want." He smiled his first truly happy smile since he had been back. A nagging voice at the back of her mind, which always seemed to sound like Angela, was telling her that this is what she needed, what they both needed, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it yet.
"Booth, can we please talk about this later?"
"Sure, Bones, I am just happy that there is a later." She smiled sweetly as he brought her into an all too familiar, and sorely missed, 'guy hug'. She brought her arms around him, taking in his entire physical presence for the first time in weeks. She felt it then. It swept over her; it was warm, delicate and unsure if it would be allowed to stay. It hurt slightly as it mingled with the pain from the last couple of weeks. She was longing for something; something that she had thought was long suppressed and washed away with her experiences and time. It slowly made its way up her spine and around to her chest. With each heart beat it got stronger, almost overwhelming. She didn't quite know what was happening to her and the fear started to take hold. She stepped back from Booth and shut her eyes so he wouldn't see it.
"Booth, I need you to leave now."
"What!? Why?"
"I need to talk to Sweets alone."
"Bones, if I don't get to kill him, then neither do you."
"I am not going to kill him, Booth."
"Then why?"
"I need to discuss a few things with him." She opened her eyes and was met with a quizzical gaze, "Just go home. I will have Angela pick me up, ok?" Booth's look of concern deepened, he had caught a glimpse of fear in her eyes before she compartmentalized it; he was not convinced it was a good idea.
"Don't worry," she brought her hand to the side of his cheek, "unlike you I don't plan on faking my death anytime soon so it's not like you will never see me again."
"You are never really going to let that go are you?"
"Probably not." She smiled a slightly wry smile before she squeezed his hand. Booth knew that she wouldn't ask to see Sweets alone if it wasn't for a good reason, especially since she thought psychology was a quack field to begin with. Whatever it was he couldn't help her, she needed to do this on her own.
"I will phone Angela for you ok?" Brennan nodded. He got up to leave but her voice stopped him.
"Will I see you in the morning?"
"Of course, first thing...with coffee." He added and as he leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her lips. He leaned out and grasped her hands in his before he begrudgingly left the room.
Outside Sweets was seated on a very recognizable uncomfortable couch staring at the very beige wall. Sweets stood as soon as he noticed Booth.
"Agent Booth, I am so sorry I..."
"Save it, Sweets."
"Agent Booth, I..."
"I don't get it, Sweets. You knew what this would do to her, you know how her parents left her without a word and yet you did this to her, to us. So why?"
"My method was wrong Agent Booth, so wrong, but..."
"There is no way you can add a 'but' to that!"
"BUT...without a doubt my findings were concrete, absolute and finite."
"But...you can't tell me without her permission."
Sweets nodded, "But I can tell you that what you have been looking for, for so very long, you have found it in Dr. Brennan." Booth shook his head, the kid had a way with words, Booth would give him that much.
"You better not mess this up again Sweets, because for some bizarre reason Bones wants to talk to you." Sweets nodded and tried to move pass Booth, but was stopped.
"I swear if you make her upset again, your imprint will be through that wall." And without another word Booth exited the office.
Sweets clutched his chest and fell back down on the couch. He was alive, not that he really believed Booth would kill him...well, maybe a little. After a moment of metal collection Sweets looked at the door to his office. In there was a battle raging between the heart and the mind. Sweets just hoped that he would be able to fix some of the mess he and this pesky pachyderm made before it was too late.
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Well I hope all of you enjoyed chapter two. Love is messy people... I have never known it not to be, and unfortunately for Booth and Bones it is confounded by people like Sweets. All will be well though because I am not one to stay on this mild angst train for long. Next chapter is about Brennan and her identification of a certain pachyderm. Reviews would be wonderful, welcomed and well received! Cheers :D