Soda POV

I sit on the couch waiting for Ponyboy to come out and tell us what is bothering him. Steve has his head leaning back on the couch, while Two-Bit lies on the floor watching Mickey Mouse, and Darry is reading the paper.

I hear a crash from our bedroom.

"Shit…" Ponyboy says.

"You alright Pone," I call.

"Yeah, stupid chair…" He replies.

Two-Bit and Steve start laughing.

"Kid, still as clumsy as ever." Two-Bit remarks.

Darry rolls his eyes, and I smile.

"What's taking so long kiddo?" Darry calls.

"I'm almost done." Pony tells our older brother.

We sit there, like we have been for the past twenty minutes.

When, "Okay, I know I look funny but no laughing." Pony says from the hall.

"Don't worry we won't!" Two-Bit snickers sarcastically, preparing to laugh as soon as Ponyboy enters the living room.

Darry sends him a glare and he immediately stops.

Ponyboy walks into the living room.

I look at him with confusion, as I'm sure the rest of the gang does.

He looks…nice, like dressed up.

What the hell… this kid throws you curve balls in life. I tell myself.

He is wearing a white button down shirt, with a black neck tie. He has nice charcoal black slacks, with dress shoes. His hair is free from grease and lies naturally. He looks mighty handsome; girls would be swooning over him.

"Well, don't you look like a pretty boy?" Two-Bit comments, smiling.

Ponyboy rolls his eyes.

"This is what you have been worried about… prom? Really, kid?" Steve asks incredulously.

Pony shakes his head and looks at the floor. He looks at Darry who has confusion in his eyes. Then he turns his gaze to me.

I read his eyes, they have sadness, despair, anger, and… longing.

Longing… for what? By now I am just beyond confusion.

"What, worried you won't get a date, kid?" Two-Bit teases him.

Ponyboy blushes.

There has to be something more to this. There has to be. Pone… what are you trying to tell us? I think.

I look at him again, he really does look nice, and his date to prom is going to be happy. Those clothes look like hand-me-downs, most of them being mine, since Darry's clothes are too big for him. The tie looks new though…

I look closer at the tie and see something, besides the tie, hanging loosely around Ponyboy's neck.

My heart stops.

No! No… no. Not this! Anything, but this! I scream in my head.

"No…" I mutter.

Ponyboy hears me, I think he is the only one, and turns toward me.

I look in his eyes, my own eyes begging for what I have seen to be wrong.

His eyes hold one thing that I don't want to see…truth.

"No… God, no." I say louder.

Two-Bit and Steve stop teasing him and look at me. Darry gives me the look of confusion that he gave Ponyboy only a few minutes ago.

I stumble up and walk towards him. He knows that I know, I can tell, he's tensed up like I'm going to yell at him. I would never do that, though, but obviously he's not thinking straight.

This can't be happening, not to Ponyboy. Thoughts of horrible things, that are apparently true, float through my mind.

I lose my footing and trip, the horror of seeing pictures and words, flashing in my mind like a movie, blinding me. Pony catches me, his arms braced under my own. He gives me a concerned look.

"Ponyboy… please." I beg him.

He looks at me briefly and then looks away, but it's enough. I know that this is happening.

I find my footing and stand up straight. He arms drop to his side.

He's eighteen, God damnit! I want to scream.

Instead of screaming; I pull him into me.

I feel tears running down my cheeks, my shirt getting wet tells me that Pony's bawling too.

"I don't want to go… I don't want to do this. Soda… I don't want to… I can't." Pony says into my shirt, making it muffled, so that only I can hear him.

"I know…" I tell him back, there's nothing I can say to make this better.

I don't know any comforting words to help him, so I just let him cry and try to calm him. This has been building up for a week and has been getting worse each day that he has kept it to himself.

"I don't want you to either, Pone…" I say, my throat constricting.

Finally, after a few minutes we both quit crying, we look at each other. We both hate this.

I give him a concerned look to make sure he is alright. He returns it the same meaning behind, and then, he does something strange.

He closes his eyes, ignoring the strange looks we are both receiving from Darry, Two-Bit, and Steve, takes a deep breath, holds it in, and exhales.

He repeats the process and then opens his eyes slowly.

He turns back to me.

The reading in his eyes has changed drastically. They now tell me pride, knowing, and acceptance.

Realization hits and I know now.

He is no longer the kid. The one I used to sleep next to to scare away the terrible nightmares, which hooked onto him. He no longer needed my help in a fight, he didn't depend on me. He did in some ways of course, but right now he was independent. He had become more independent as he grew up, but now he was completely detached. As dad would say, he was a man. I wish there was another way for him to prove that he was a man, but I guess life thought this was the best way.

I shake my head, not because I'm disappointed, but because I wish there was another way.

He looks at me, while I'm torn up inside, he has healed. I don't know how, but then I guess there are things about my brother I will never understand. It's one of those moments when you have to go along for life's wild ride.

He smiles at me and I look at the ground unable to meet such a happy gesture about a depressing subject.

"I promise." He says, voice full of care that he wants me to know.

I just nod my head.

I take that silver chain from around his neck and finger it.

To any normal person it would feel like metal, but to me it feels like acid.

I look at it and back at him, this seems so wrong.

Those two dog tags don't belong around his neck. He doesn't deserve this.

But there's nothing I can do.

My baby brother, Ponyboy Michael Curtis, is going to Vietnam to fight in a war that he shouldn't have to.

\This stupid government gets its way and I can just sit and watch as the horrors of war eat him alive and they could give a shit. Even if I begged, nothing that I say or do will help.

Absolutely, nothing I can do… I think sourly.

Okay, now I know that I left you hanging again, but I thought that this was a good place to end. Please review and I'll update as soon as possible. Thanks!