Casey picked up her phone. Shit. She just kissed someone else, and her awesome boyfriend was now calling her to check up on her. She had lied saying that she had plans to hang out with Sam and watch some riveting post-graduation penguin live-streaming and that he probably shouldn't come over since she had family duties. The truth was, when Izzie messaged her that photo of them in that blanket fort, she decided that she had to see her. Plus, Casey felt she owed to Izzie since she had been avoiding her messages recently. She let the call ring out and got a text seconds later.

Hey. How's the penguin watching going?

Same old same old. Can't answer right now, Sam gets annoyed. They're having a gay old time.

You think I could come over afterwards? We can talk about how we HAD ALL THE SEX.

😒You're so lame.

I'm loving my post-coital glow.

You're a dork.

You love me :D

She did. Evan was so easy to love. During this textual interaction, Izzie watched enviously. What the fuck am I doing? she asked herself.

"It's just Evan."

"Your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend."

"Who you love."

"Yeah, I love him."

Casey felt like she was saying it again because she needed to believe it. She needed to remind herself that she was in a relationship, and that this thing with Izzie was wrong. Not wrong because she was a girl. Wrong because it was shitty to cheat on your boyfriend, especially all the shit she gave her mother about cheating on her dad. Shitty to cheat on someone like Evan, who probably would have never suspected her of ever doing exactly what she was doing right now.

Izzie looked rather discouraged after this third affirmation of Casey's love for her stupid boyfriend. After what just happened, Izzie let herself have a little more hope…only to have it be crushed a few minutes afterwards. Would their relationship turn into intimate moments like this, followed by an irritating snap back to reality where Casey goes home and has sex with this boy she loves? Fuck that. It was awful seeing her with him. She had always felt distaste at his presence and only now did she realise - it was the greenest of envy. She wanted Casey to be her girl, not his.

"Hey Casey, do you wanna go for a walk or something? Just drop me off near mine. There's somewhere I want to show you."

"…I'm not sure if that's a good idea Izzie. I need to talk to Evan."

"Just for 10 minutes. It won't take long."

They drove in silence, letting the radio play pop music so that the silence wouldn't provoke detrimental thought trains.

"Hey hey you you, I don't like your girlfriend
No way , no way, I think you need a new one
Hey hey you you, I can be your girlfriend"

Izzie was texting her mom saying she would be home soon, and that she would pay for the babysitter tonight from her own pocket since she had plans to hang out with Casey. Her mom worked overtime most nights to keep her at Clayton and wouldn't be home until 10pm. Her younger siblings were not an easy bunch and hated it when Izzie couldn''t look after them.

When they got to her street, Izzie told her to pull over a few doors down from her house and lead Casey towards a large mess of bushes and trees on the outskirts of a nearby park. They went through all of them and were met with a fence that had a big gaping hole towards the bottom. Izzie crouched and went under it, gesturing Casey to follow.

"What is this place?"

The other side of the fence was what seemed like an abandoned playground, surrounded in dead grass and grey woodchips. Izzie went to lie down in one of the slides, which had an identical one right next to it. It seemed to fit her body just right. Casey tried to do the same, but she was a bit taller and her feet could touch the floor.

"I take my siblings here a lot. I found it a few years ago. No one really knows that it's still here. I think they forget about it or something."

She popped up and went towards a nearby bush. She came back with some chocolate bars.

"Want a Kit Kat?"

"Hell yes."

They split the chocolate and stared up into the sky. There were no stars, just a clouds interspersed amongst a dark blue canvas illuminated by the moon.

"I've never taken anyone here."

"Not even Nate?"

"Of course not. It's my secret spot." The wind was nice against her skin, rustling the rusty chains of the swings.

"Why am I here then?" Casey automatically started holding her bit of Kit-Kat like a cigarette, talking with a faux English accent and acting like she had just asked a sophisticated and mysterious question.

"Because I trust you. And I wanted you to know that."

Throughout the whole night, Izzie found it so hard to look directly at Casey. It was too much. It was too much to say everything she felt, and it was even scarier that she had already said the things she said. She didn't like feeling vulnerable, and knew that it almost never happened. It seemed like whatever Casey said now had the ability to hurt her, and she hated her for it. She didn't want to think about her anymore. Why did she kiss her? Why why why? She got up and starting walking back towards the fence.

"See you tomorrow Newton."

"Wait! Izzie! Where are you going?"

"I'm going home…and I think you should too."

"Bu-"

"Your boyfriend is probably waiting for your call."