Dean never looked at me like that.
I saw the way he looked at all the girls he dated. He was never really whipped but he always looked at them like they were special, like they were all one of a kind. And me? I was one of the guys. Dean's best friend. The guy who got to hear about all the times he scored, and the few rejections when he didn't. I got to high-five him in the locker room and cheer him on in fights.
What I didn't get is what I wanted. I wanted him to hold me like he held them in the common room by the fire. I wanted him to look at me like I was special, like I was something more that his best friend. And I would never get it.
I would never get to walk through the school holding his hand. I would never get to come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I would never get to pull him aside in the halls to kiss him in an abandoned classroom.
He would never know that every time he called my name, it made my heart skip. He would never know that when he hugs me on the platform before break I blush and try to hide it. He would never see that I was in love with him, and I didn't think I would ever get to tell him.
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