That summer I received the opportunity to go to a teen rehab facility in Colorado. The fee had been waived by my middle school as a gift for all of my struggles. My mom was reluctant to allow me to go, in fear that I would fall into my old ways like when I was with Evie. Talking her into allowing me to go to this program was no easy task. Mason helped me talk her into it; he told her about our long talks and how I really wanted to change. I had to explain to my mom just how difficult it was for me to walk out of the front door, much less to go to school every day.

Reluctantly, she agreed to let me go to the program and upon my return, I would change schools in attempts of a fresh start. Mason and I spent as much time together as we possibly could before I went away. Despite our differences, he and I found so much more that we had in common that we never knew before. Mason was lost when Luke moved away and I was lost as well when Evie turned her back on me, so it worked out for me and my brother. Don't get me wrong, we still had our days where we wanted to kill each other but we'd sit each other down, smoke a bowl, and then talk it out.

The fact that Mason and I could communicate so well made the road to recovery so much easier but I knew that not being able to talk with him while I was in the recovery program would be really hard. I would miss my brother but I needed this and he knew it. So we did everything we could together up until the day before I left. He taught me how to surf on the weekends and during the week we would help each other with homework, even though I had no chance of passing the seventh grade, I felt like I had to make some sort of effort. Even if I learned the stuff it would make the repeating of the seventh grade a bit easier.

School was coming to a close and I left for the program in a week. Mason was acting kind of funny, probably because he didn't want me to be leaving. The person that was bugging me the most though was my mom. She had barely spoken to me since I had accepted the slot in the program; it was almost like she didn't want me to get better. I had been doing better though; I quit smoking cigarettes and doing cocaine but I couldn't get myself off of the weed or sex. I only smoked weed with Mason or Javi. I only smoked with Javi when we had sex. I just couldn't get enough of that boy. I hadn't even told him about the program though; he'd probably tell me that I didn't need to go, that I was just fine and didn't need any rehabilitation.

I had arranged to meet up with Javi one night a few days before I was to leave. I had worked out exactly what I was going to say to him but I was still so worried what his reaction would be. I walked up to the ice cream shop and snagged a quick kiss from my man as I sat down, deciding that starting right away was the only way to go. I began quietly, "Javi I have to talk to you about something, and I don't want you to say anything until I'm through with everything I have to say." He agreed worriedly and held my hands as I spoke. "Javi, I'm leaving in a few days for a teen rehabilitation program in Colorado. I will be gone for six weeks. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner but I didn't want you to be mad and I didn't want to just leave you without telling you where I had gone either. The program is six weeks long and is designed just for teenagers that have fallen into the peer pressures that I ended up in while I was hanging out with Evie. Now I know that you and Evie were pretty tight and I'm sure that you miss her a lot. I miss her too but I really feel like I need to do this for me and I really hope you can support me on this." Javi looked at me with his beautiful puppy dog eyes and said, "Tracey, I want nothing but what's best for you. If you think that going to this program is going to help you then I'm 110% behind you the whole way. I love you Tracey." We shared a deep passionate kiss and a hot fudge sundae before we parted ways for the last time before I left.

Javi loved me? It made me wonder if I loved him too. I mean how do you know if you love someone right? He didn't seem distraught by the fact that I had neglected to say it back. Javi was older than me though; he had a more matured mind set so maybe after this rehab journey I would know more about what I wanted for myself.

So for the last few days before I started my new life, I forced my mom to spend time with me; helping me pack, deciding what to bring and what not to bring, etc. She wasn't too talkative through this time until I finally said to her, "Mom why won't you hardly even talk to me?" Thinking I wasn't going to get an answer I went back to the packing, but not before I heard her actually answer me. "Tracey, I love you, you and Mason are everything to me but I'm just so worried about you. I fear that you'll meet someone in that program and you'll go right back into how you were before. Or you'll get through it and be successful until you come home and fall right back into the hold habits." Furiously I replied, "Mom I want nothing more than to be cured from all of this. This isn't who I am but I need help to get back to myself again. Working at it on my own isn't getting me too far. I need to get away for a while to figure all of this stuff out. I promise you that I won't do any of those things you worry for. I just need to do this to get back to me." Ending on that note, my mom walked out of the room nearly in tears. Later I found out that she went to Mason's room and talked and cried to him about how much she was going to miss me. Again I confronted her but not until the day that I left; "Mom I love you and Mason more than anything in this world. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity you're allowing me to seize while I can. I'm only going to be gone for six weeks and when I get back it will be like I never left; only it would be like eight months ago that I never left. Everything is going to work out so don't you worry. I'll write whenever I can, promise."

And with those last words to my mother, I gave her a huge hug for reassurance. Approaching my brother for one last hug, I saw a single tear fall from his eye and it was then that I knew that we really had connected in these last weeks. He really did love his little sister and in that instant I wanted to get better for the both of us. I gave him a big hug and whispered in his ear, "You don't have to say it, the tears say it all. I love you too bro." I stepped through security and towards the terminal for my flight, turning around one last time to wave goodbye. In a few hours I'd be well on my way to my new life and I couldn't wait for what lie ahead.