My hands were fastened above my head and I was struggled with all my might. My body felt cold but sweaty as I lied on the floor. Surrounding me were everyone that I knew and had come close to. I was screaming and crying and my body was shaking so much that I would have been fooled that there was an earthquake if I wasn't in this conundrum. The one on top of me, roamed his rough hands across the surface of my body and all I could do was stare at the cantankerous man and the watchers around me. Their faces were filled with disgust as they watched my body get violated.

"No, stop it!" I wailed. "Let go! Let go!"

He leaned forward until his body was completely pressed against mine.

"Stop…" I whimpered, "please…"

"You like that, slut?" he whispered. He leaned down as if to kiss me. I launched myself away, rolling out his hold and onto the soft bed. My breaths were ragged as I looked around the new scenery. The light were turned on and for the longest time, I didn't recognize where I was. I didn't recognize my brothers who were staring at me with terror and drowsiness and worry. I saw him. I saw the lust in his eyes and it terrified me.

My hands reached back behind me, dragging myself away, weakly shaking my head, until my hand hit air and I fell, wincing as my ass hit the floor. The illusion faded and I was left with baffled stares and silence.

"Are… you okay?" Darry asked nervously.

"Y-Yeah…" I lied. I curled up into a ball. Soda tried to comfort me but I flinched away. It was a reflex. I knew that they were my brothers but they reminded me so much of him and I didn't want them to see how dirty I was.

"Pony…" Soda whispered, trying again, but I pushed myself away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"What was the dream about?"

"I-I forgot."

"We all know that that's not true," Darry interjected.

"Darry, stop it." Soda scolded. He turned back to me. "If you remember it, you can tell us."

I could only nod but I could never tell them.

After a while, Darry left and I climbed back in bed, as close as I could get to the edge. Soda sighed behind me and soon enough his breathing slowed down. I couldn't fall asleep though—I refused too. I stared at the dark walls and the ceiling until morning came.

I limped to the bathroom after grabbing new clothes. I stripped off my old ones and turned the water on maximum heat and stepped in. The water scorched my defiled skin but I ignored the pain. I sat down, hugging my body and just watched the water disappear down the drain. Even the water was running away from me after seeing how dirty I was, just like how everyone would run away from me if they find out. But they won't, I can't let them. I soon look at my red skin and just frowned. The filth wasn't going away. I could still feel his hands on my body and the cum on my chin and the blood on my butt and his tongue scavenging my mouth and my slightly cracked, swollen lips that could still feel his, and I could taste the cum still in my mouth and I still feel like I was ripped into two and all I wanted to do was not feel anything anymore. All I wanted was to not remember him anymore. I wanted to cleanse myself of this violation.

I grabbed the washrag in the bathtub, rubbing soap onto it, and rubbing the towel onto my skin vigorously. I kept at it, rubbing at the same spot until little beads of red popped out of my skin. But I still felt dirty, the feeling was as strong as ever. I moved to another spot and repeated the surface.

"Dirty, dirty, dirty, disgusting," I muttered, scrubbing hard until there was a knock on the door.

"Ponyboy, you okay in there?" Soda asked. I turned off the now cold water and stepped from the bath. Soda must have heard the shift and walked away. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my hair was dripping and tired eyes stared back. I turned around, remembering the spot on my back and held back a sob when I saw what was carved into my skin. In bright red, highlighted in a surface of pink was the word: SLUT. I dried my body, tearing my eyes away from the pathetic reflection, and changing into sweatpants and a hoodie which covered the bruises and scar. I halfheartedly greased back my hair before leaving.

I didn't know what to do now. I didn't feel like eating and I had lots of time before school started—something I knew Darry wouldn't let me skip because I was 'the one who was supposed to make it out'. I didn't want to go because he was there. But I also didn't want them to find out either. But if he sees me—if I see him—I wouldn't be able to take it.

My thought was interrupted by an arm swinging across my shoulders. My body froze up and I pushed them sway.

"Let go!" I yelled, closing my eyes. He was there, he was there… He was in my home, back for me. Another hand touched shoulder and I spun around but instead of the lust filled eyes, I was met with large eyes.

"Are you okay?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah, you okay?" Two-Bit asked. My scream had also joleted my brothers.

My ears turned red so I murmured, "I'm fine…"

They didn't look like they were going to accept my answer. Darry proposed, "Look, if you don't feel alright, you don't have to go to school today."

"Really?" He nodded. I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't have to see him today but they knew something was wrong. And tomorrow I would have to go back. And tomorrow I would risk them finding out again.

Two-Bit and Johnny stayed behind but I just wanted to be alone; protect them from being infected by my filth. Johnny constantly came into my room to try to talk to me but he sensed that I didn't want to talk. Two-Bit tried to move me from my room but each time he reached out to touch me I flinched away. The scar on my back itched and stung as I picked at it. Whenever I picked at it, they would give me strange looks.

"Why are you picking there?" Johnny asked.

"It's nothing. Johnny, can you just leave me alone today. I really just want to be alone right now."

Johnny nodded, giving me a confused stare before leaving. Hours later, the gang came in the house, one-by-one. I was lying on the bed, the lights turned off because I didn't feel like doing anything else. Someone walked to my door, creaking it open.

"It looks like he's asleep," they said before the door closed again. Minutes later, the gang was discussing something about me. I closed my eyes to concentrate on what they were saying.

"What's wrong with the kid?" Steve asked, sounding annoyed.

"We don't know." Soda answered. "He had this nightmare… and when he awoke from it he pushed away like he was scared of us."

"Don't forget about this morning when I swung my arm across his shoulder. He was screaming," Two-Bit added.

"Not talking much either… won't tell us anything," Johnny said.

"Was the nightmare really that bad?" Dally asked.

The voices hushed down so that I couldn't hear them anymore. They could already sense my dirtiness. After a while, my eyes started to droop regardless of my fear of what I will see. If I can't wash away my defilement, what else could I do?

o-o-o

Replies:

Pony'sgirlfriend: This one wasn't as good. At the beginning of this chapter I was in the zone then it just died off. I plan on making the next chapter have more in it though.

One-Tuff-Cookie723: Thank you .

RiseoftheSoulGuardians: I hope I will finish this story. I think it's just the whole thing when people don't finish their stories. I've been on many websites for fanfiction and it comes down to these realizations: Wattpad—horrible writing/grammar/character designs, pointless summaries and author notes telling you to listen to a song or to follow them on twitter or Instagram, but completes the story usually. FFN—better writing but no one finishes or have a long hiatus to the point where it's pointless and you just don't care about the story any more. Deviantart—everything is poetry or reader inserts. Tumblr—consists of one-shots and hard to find but really good. Archiveofourown—amazing writing, absolutely beautiful, usually is finished but not many fanfictions for the topics you're looking for. Noveljoy—nothing is really there. But don't worry, it's a 99.8% chance that I finish the story even if it turns out crappy.

FrankElza: There will also be other effects from what had happened that's not psychological. I feel like you know what I'm talking about?

BunnyluvsU: Thank you. I wished that everyone voted for something else, like another supernatural themed one, but this is a good change.

White collar black wolf: Thank you.