After I finished changing I left the tent and paused beside Ben. He looked down at me and then grabbed my arm, hauling me off to the side, farther away from the campsites. I started trembling when I realized that I couldn't get away.
"Hey no, no, calm down. I ain't gonna hurt you. Darlin' that ain't why I pulled you aside. Just wanted to say thanks for invitin' me to ya'lls camp, and m'sorry that I almost didn't get there in time." I looked up at him in confusion, did he just say sorry to me? I lowered my head.
"Uh, thanks, but you did get there in time and I 'preciate it. It means a lot." He smiled and gently cupped my jaw, raising my chin so that I had to look him in the eye.
"Nunna that. You are too beautiful, to smart, and worth way the hell to much too always be lookin' down. Now the other reason I pulled you aside was to ask you if you minded sharin' a tent. Mine got damaged right 'fore I met you." I bit my lip then nodded. He smiled and guided me towards our fire site. Shane and Rick were standing in front of Merle and Amy, lookin' grim. As we got closer we could hear them discussin' me goin' back on a run and soon. The grimness slowly faded from Merles face, only to be replaced with a look of pure unadulterated fury. I knew where this was goin' and the thought of seperatin' didn't sound so bad anymore. I knew that us three guys could protect Amy, and I knew that Ben and Merle would protect me. The thought of bein' alone woulda scared me just a few hours ago really. Now, now I knew we could survive. I looked up when I heard Merle cut Shane off.
"Look, it's really simple, my baby brother is not going on another run, Glenn does them as well, he can do one, or you, Shane, can do one. Daryl's not going out there, in fact from now on, you can count me, my brother, Ben, and Amy, outta your camp. We may travel together but ya ain't in charge. Hear me Sheriff?" Shane started grinding his teeth, his hand going for the gun always at his waist. I stepped in between them.
"Enough, Merle's right Shane, we were never really a'part of ya'lls camp anyway. This just makes it official." Shane reached out and punched me hard enough that I fell back. With a roar of rage Ben was in front of me, Shane resting back to front with Ben, a sleek hunting knife at his throat. Rick looked a little hysterical, and Lori was smirking, Carol had the kids and was looking anywhere but here. Dale was tensed and looking back and forth. Andrea shrugged and hugged Amy goodbye.
"Listen here Walsh, ya ever touch 'im again, and I will kill you. There ain't no law anymore, there is no jail or prison time, ya ever think of doin' somthin' like that again, and I promise you will become walker food, got me?" Shane nodded and flicked his gaze to where Rick was trembling; looking scared at the thought of losing Shane. I knew that after the run in where Shane got shot and almost died Rick would be almost useless if Shane was gone.
"Ben, let Shane go, unfortunately their group needs Rick, and Rick needs Shane. He really ain't all awful. Please?" He looked at me a grimaced before dropping his knife and pushing Shane away. Andrea looked at the way Rick was tight to Shane's side, how Ben was hovering over me, and how Merle had one eye and/or hand on Amy at all times.
"We need to talk, everyone to the campfire." We all shrugged and did as Andrea bid. I sat as close to Ben as I thought I could get away with, Amy was in Merles lap, and Rick was in Shane's lap. "Before the walkers I wasn't anything special, but Amy was majoring in psychology. What no one in my family knew was that I had also got my psychology degree; the area I focused in was stress related responses. In a high stress situation, especially one where a direct and prolonged threat occurred, a primitive, almost feral state occurs. What this means is that you have a mate or a child, or even yourself if you are a loner, which becomes the sole focus, you will do anything to protect that thing. Also, in these situations a person who normally is of a dominate mindset might become submissive to someone that they think could protect them. The opposite could be said of a previously submissive mindset, they may become exceedingly violent, or dominating. In this case I noticed it with Shane and Rick, the longer Rick is in danger the more violent Shane becomes, and Rick absolutely falls apart at the thought of Shane being gone. I become incredibly violent when Dale is in danger, and he is nervous when I'm threatened. Merle was already feral to a degree, no offence, and detoxing along with falling in love increased that in a slightly more healthy way. Amy and Daryl are the centers of Merles world. Ben reacted automatically in defense of Daryl after a traumatic first meeting. Daryl felt safe and reverted to a submissive mindset in deference to Ben's dominance. Does everyone understand what I'm getting at?" I bit my lip and slid closer to Ben at the calculating looks on Ed's face. He wanted a cowed and submissive toy, and now that Carol was under Lori and Glenn's protection, I was his new choice I guess. I whimpered quietly at the thought of being forced again, once was more than enough. Apparently Ben heard my whimper and without a thought pulled me into his lap, clearly showing his ownership of me. I hummed and just went with it, curling close and letting a long forgotten sense of calm and safety wash over me. The rest of the conversation drifted passed me until Shane spoke p about how I was now useless, and therefore needed to go. I felt Ben tense and I pushed myself harder into him, as if that would fix everything, but then I realized I had to say something, had to stand up in my defense.
"Look Shane, I know you don't like me, I know you think I'm useless now, but out of this group, I'm the only one with trackin' skills, the only one with a silent, long range weapon, and…" here I pause to stand from Ben's lap, "I'm the only one who saved ya when ya were shot. I risked my life to get you the supplies needed to save you. I ain't, now or ever, gonna be useless. All Andrea means is that I got a partner, just like you Shane have Rick. Would you throw Rick out to a death sentence just because he was more polite to someone else? Just because he was submissive?" Shane immediately pulled Rick closer to him, as if the thought of him not being there was too much. He nodded and motioned for his camp to get up; Merle motioned us to our campsite.
"Daryl, ya on cookin' tonight, you and Ben get first watch, wake me and Amy at 1 for final watch. We still got some cornmeal, salt, potatoes, and squirrel jerky left. You can figure somthin' out with that. Ok?" I nodded and moved to the fire pit, pullin' out my mama's old cast iron skillet. The cornmeal had salt and water mixed in, it was simple, just some mush, but it was good, filling, and somewhat healthy. Pulling out plates I dished that, the jerky, and a little bit of the left over potatoes that we'd fried the other day. Calling everyone over; we started eating, quickly and silently. As soon as dinner was done, Merle took Amy into the woods, and I took the dishes to another bucket that was in the wooden chest and lifted the lid off of it, inside was coarse white sand, scouring the plates clean with the sand I laid them back in their places. Wiping the skillet out with a cloth, I laid it back in the chest. Taking a bowl I mixed some cornmeal mush, some salt, and some water, laying the bowl beside the fire I left it and headed to the truck to get my tent and sleeping bag. Setting the tent up and laying out my bedding I sat by the fire and tended my crossbow. The other site had almost completely wound down, and Ben was just now reentering the site, shortly followed by Merle and Amy. Ben was clean, Merle was smug, and Amy looked satisfied. I shook my head and nodded to Merle as he led Amy into their tent. Looking at Ben I smiled softly, he grinned and headed my way. Without thought he picked me up and settled me in his lap, I just cuddled closer to his body and stared up at the stars.
"Go ta sleep darlin'. I'll keep watch and get Merle when it's time. There is no reason for you to stay awake after the day you had." I mumbled my thanks and curled even closer to his warmth, thankful that, for the first time since I was a child and being held by my pa and ma, I felt safe. Even Merles hugs, few as they had been, never comforted me this way.
I looked down at the bundle in my lap; maybe this damn apocalypse was good for something after all. Andreas little speech had made it so much clearer as to why I felt so protective. But in part, I felt protective because he had obviously had a horrible life, been through so much, and through it all he had to stay strong. My little Darlin' needed someone to take care of him for once, and that was what I intended to do. I stared off into the woods, keeping a careful ear and eye peeled for any potential threat. Shane was doing the same over at their camp, Rick curled up beside him on a sleeping bag, warm but still close to Shane. I sneered at the fact that he wasn't allowing his lover to curl up on him. I would never deny my little Darlin' Shrugging I returned to staring at the woods. Time flew and after what seemed like no time at all, I was layin' Darlin' down and waking Merle and Amy for their shift. During the time it took me to do that and get back to the tent, Daryl had managed to twist and turn, letting out quiet whimpers. I immediately pulled him back in close and felt him relax back into a peaceful sleep once more. Morning came and Darlin' rose to tend the fire and fix breakfast.
"Hey Darlin' why don't Amy do any cookin'?" He snorted then burst out laughing, a pure joyful sound that had Merle lookin' up, and the females plus Glenn smiling.
"That'd be because she managed to spill the water she was boiling, put out the fire, then after we started it again, she dropped a whole squirrel into the fire and burnt it, then after that she managed to burn the last of their coffee. She ain't ever touchin' my food or cookware." He looked so determined and adorable, the perfect little house husband that I couldn't resist kissin' his nose. He giggled, actually giggled and went back to pulling the cornmeal he had left out last night away from the fire, and then dropping the last of the potatoes and jerky into the cast iron skillet filled with what looked like droppings from roasted squirrel, after the jerky was somewhat soft, and the potatoes mushy he poured it over the mush and served it, it looked gross but tasted amazing and was very filling, the left overs were put into a bowl and then set in a pail of water that was from the quarry, it was icy enough to let the food last until lunch. Looking over at the other camp I laughed to see them eating canned green beans, and what looked like refried beans. They were all grimacing and looking longingly at us where the smell of squirrel and corn filled the clearing. Daryl continued on about his chores smiling happily, while Shane looked more and more pissed off. Finally the snap I had been waiting for occurred and Shane stalked over to our camp.
"You have good left over food, I want it for the rest of us." His demand was met with a glare from me and Merle, but more importantly the fire Daryl had when I first saw him.
"The fuck you talkin' 'bout Walsh? I worked my ass off, and risked my neck for enough supplies to last both camps. It's not my fault ya'll managed to waste it. I ain't sharin' what I got because ya'll are too lazy to go into the city!" Shane snarled and before me or Merle could stopped him, lunged at Darlin'. Darlin' smirked and brought his fist up in a harsh upper cut, he easily subdued the cop, not even hesitating. I smiled proudly even as I stalked forward to relieve my petite little Darlin' of his useless burden.