Sam's POV
I stared out the window, listening to Alex cry her heart out in the back, trying my best not to start crying myself. It felt like there was an elephant crushing my chest; everything hurt. She had to watch all of that, while we literally stood outside of her house waiting for who knows what. I let a deep breath out as I turned my attention to Dean as the car slowly began speeding up. His grip around the steering wheel was tightening and his stare was cold as he watched the road. He might have been looking at the road but it was obvious he wasn't actually paying attention to it. He noticed me staring at him and his grip loosened as he glanced over at me. He muttered something under his breath before slowing down and stopping the car on the side of the road. During the whole process of him pulling the keys out of the ignition, slamming his hands on the steering wheel and slamming the car door behind him as he stormed out; I kept quiet, just watching him, not really having the right words to say. As soon as he stopped walking in-front of the car I stepped out keeping my eyes glued to him as he yelled profanities into the sky and punched the air.
"Dean." He didn't respond, just put his hands on his face turning his back to me. "Dean, you've gotta relax." I stated, hearing my own heart pounding in my ears. I knew how he felt, but we had to stay calm for the kid.
"Relax? How the hell am I supposed to relax Sam?" he questioned, glaring at me angrily, "I mean we just ruined that kid's life!"
"Yeah Dean, we've gotta stay calm for her!" I yelled back, taking a step towards him, "She lost her whole family; she's the one who had to go through all of that! We weren't able to stop it, so now we've gotta try, and fix it!"
"How the hell do you think we're going to fix this Sam? With a hug, maybe some cheap-ass line telling her 'Everything's going to be okay'? What good is that going to do? We can't fix this!"
"No but we can try!" I shouted again, "Don't you think we owe her that? We have to help her get through this. How are we supposed to do that if we're both freaking out or swearing and fighting each other? We've got to forget about how we feel right now and help her. She needs us." I finished trying to calm myself down, but I could still feel the fire inside me and it felt like it was going to completely take over, but I couldn't let it.
"She doesn't even know us. We're just some random guys who may I remind, she thought we're some kind of robbers or kidnappers." He stated shaking his head as his arms dropped to his sides.
"We're still all she's got right now." I answered but I knew he was right. We were just two guys. We didn't know her and she didn't know us. I turned to the car to see the back door wide open, "Dean." I said with a panicked breath. We both ran over to the car looking inside to see the backseat completely empty. I was about to yell for her until I noticed someone leaning on one of the trees with their back towards us. I could tell she was struggling to keep herself propped up, but as I walked over, making Dean stay back at the car, I realized she wasn't crying anymore. She was completely silent just staring out into the grass field. "Alex?" I asked and there was no response.
"Alex, come on. Let's go back to the car." I suggested keeping my voice soft and she sighed slightly laughing to herself,
"Why? What's the point?" Her voice cracked as she shook, still from the shock, "I mean I've got no one. You wanna know something funny Sam?" she asked slightly turning but still wasn't completely facing me. I now saw her face, tear-stained, red-eyes that were colorless. Her face was drained and she just looked so broken, "That was my entire family. That was everyone." She continued sadly smiling as the tears streamed down her face, "So please, tell me. What the hell is the point of anything anymore?" she asked her face stern as her hands turned into fists.
"I know but-"
"No you don't know! That was my whole family!" she yelled shoving me back, "That was everybody I loved! Everyone I cared about!" she continued while shoving me and punching my chest, "I watched them all die! I watched them be murdered! They are all dead!" she screamed shoving me away once more before she stopped and just stood about a step in-front of me. She was quiet as the tears streamed down her face and she stared at the ground in-front of her feet. She looked up at me and whispered, "They're all dead" before dropping onto her knees; screaming into her hands before curling down and crying into her own lap. I swallowed back the lump in my throat before kneeling down beside her. I put my hand on her back and made her look up again. She was trembling as I pulled her in for a hug and she continued crying into my chest, gripping my shirt as her tears soaked through it. I kept one arm wrapped tightly around her while the other one I kept on her head. Looking up to see Dean standing a lot closer than before, I hadn't noticed him moving towards us when she started punching me. I saw a tear roll down his cheek as he watched us, still with anger-filled eyes. He raised his fist like he wanted to slam it down on the trunk of the car before hesitating and dropping his arm again. He turned and walked back slamming the car door behind him, leaving me outside with Alex.
She was lying on the bed; her face hidden in the pillows as she tried to control her breathing. I had managed to get her into the car and we found a hotel a few miles down the road. After booking a room, the second we got the door open she walked over and curled up in the bed furthest from the door. She turned her back towards us as me and Dean sat down in the chairs placed beside the table under the small window. Not even bothering to turn the lights on we all sat silently in the darkness of the room. Dean had his eyes glued to her small figure the entire time, watching her every uneasy breath as she lay there. I already couldn't stand seeing her completely falling apart; I didn't know what to do to help her. I felt useless. But seeing him like this; I knew he was blaming himself for it. Finding something he could use to turn the whole thing onto himself. But he's my brother; I couldn't let him kill himself over this. It wasn't his fault. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine.
"Dean." I spoke quietly, bringing him back to reality. All he did was look at me with tired eyes and I sighed, even if I did say something along the lines of 'It's not your fault' he wouldn't believe me. "What happened today…" I couldn't even find the right words to finish the sentence I started so I shook my head, "I'm going to try and get her to sleep, it would be good for her…" he nodded his head bleakly before turning his attention back to her. I pushed myself off the chair before walking in front of him, blocking his view, "Dean, some sleep would be good for you too."
"No."
"Dean you have to."
"I said no Sam. Just drop it." He snapped and once again his eyes were filled with fury. We both heard a door slam shut and we turned to face the sound, noticing the bed not occupied anymore. The bathroom door was shut and the light seeping in from underneath the door was the only glow illuminating the room. Again I sighed and took a few steps towards the door, before stopping. I contemplated whether I should really knock on the door or leave her be for now. I decided to give her some time and I turned on my heels heading over to the other untouched bed. I dropped down putting my head in my hands.
Alex's POV
As soon as I got up off the bed, I struggled to move myself over to the bathroom. The second I reached it, I shut the door and had to grab the sides of the sink to keep from collapsing onto the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look up into the mirror. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned the faucet on. My hands were trembling as I put them under the freezing water; slowly bringing the cold water up to my face, I tried my best to wash off the tear stains I was too afraid to look at. After finally rubbing my face for a good two minutes I opened my eyes, still staring down into the sink as the water kept running. Biting my lip I forced myself to look up into the mirror. Staring into my bloodshot eyes all I could see was the whole scene being replayed over and over again. I could see the blood, their bodies torn to shreds but worst of all I could hear their screams. I stumbled backwards, falling back onto the floor.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I apologized as I curled up on the washroom floor. My chest began to tighten again and I could barely breathe. The screaming kept getting louder; it was the only thing I could hear. Somebody grabbed my shoulder making me start screaming but I was too scared to look up.
Help us! Please I don't want to die! Alex run! Run Alex don't let him get you! Stop killing them! Stop!
"Alex! Alex you're okay! Alex!" someone yelled and I forced myself to look up. The door to the washroom was wide open and Sam and Dean were both crouched beside me. Worry written all over their faces. I blinked the tears out of my eyes, taking in my surroundings. There was no blood. No bodies. No yellow-eyed man. Just two boys staring at me with big fear-filled eyes. I couldn't get any words to come out of my mouth even though I opened it to say something. The only thing that came out was a pathetic whimper before I started crying again; hiding my face in my knees. I could feel arms wrap around me and began to lift me in the air. I was going to tell him to stop but I couldn't get myself to do anything but cry into the collar of his shirt. Soon enough Sam sat me down on the bed, but made sure not to let go of me. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around my waist as I sobbed into his shirt, clearly the tears soaking through but he didn't complain or try to move away. He rubbed gentle circles into my back as he shushed me, trying to calm me down. I finally got the tears to stop but I still couldn't control my breathing or stop the sobs that kept escaping my lips. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" I kept crying and apologizing and I could feel him shaking his head,
"Don't apologize. There's nothing for you to be sorry for."
"I…I can still hear them."
"I know, shhh I got you. You're not alone." He reassured still rubbing my back as I clutched his shirt for dear life. "We've got you. You're safe."
I let myself relax and completely nuzzle into his side and I don't know why. I didn't know him, he didn't know me. But I felt safe with him sitting here with me, comforting me. After what happened just a few hours ago, I actually felt safe knowing the both of them were here. I let myself drift off and ended up falling asleep on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it slowed down. I didn't dream about anything, it was really just darkness. I was uneasy the whole time but I couldn't get myself to wake up. Soon enough I was sitting in the middle of a building. It was empty and dark, the light from the moon outside the windows made it easier for me to see my surroundings. Nothing looked dangerous or threatening so I slowly stood up. Feeling a sharp pain shoot up my right side, I looked down and could see blood soaking through my shirt. Before I could pick my shirt up, I fell back from the sudden screaming coming from in-front of me. I covered my ears but I could still hear the screaming perfectly. I searched for the person it was coming from but the whole room was completely empty and the pain in my side began spreading over my stomach until it reached my other side. I groaned trying to keep in the screams. It felt like somebody was ripping me apart from the inside. The warm blood running down from my stomach and sides was painting the floor underneath me a bright red colour. I looked up into the shadows once more because the screaming, which had already seemed like it was at its loudest point, started getting louder. A silhouette appeared walking towards me, dragging something behind it. Looking up to meet those disgusting eyes as they shone through the shadows I brought most of my attention to what he was dragging. Once out of the shadows he was still a dark silhouette, the only colored thing was his bright yellow eyes. He was dragging a boy by his hair; he was screaming his heart out but I couldn't see who it was. There was a trail of blood following him and finally he got close enough for me to recognize him. The dark brown hair with the cool green eyes that belonged to my cousin were being dragged towards me by the thing I made a promise to kill.
"Pawel!" I shrieked as he kept screaming while being dragged towards me. I couldn't move any of my limbs; I had lost so much blood that I was paralyzed.
"He's a screamer ain't he?" the man asked before lifting him like he was weightless. "Quiet now." He smiled before snapping his head off. His body fell limp to the ground while the yellow-eyed silhouette still held his head examining it. "Don't worry, we'll meet again Alex." He smirked before snapping his fingers making the whole scene go pitch black again.
I shot up in the bed clutching the sheets underneath me. I was breathing heavily, my eyes searching the room. I turned my attention to the bed beside the one I was in. Dean was sitting with his head in his hands, and he slowly lifted it to look at me. He instantly moved closer turning his whole body to face me.
"You okay?"
I started off with nodding my head but that slowly merged into me shaking my head, still not feeling up to talking. I was scanning the room again and Dean seemed to understand what I was looking for.
"Sam's okay. He just went to go make a phone call." He answered with a small smile and I could feel myself begin to relax. We both sat there quietly for a few minutes, and I had a feeling he was trying to find the right words to say because I could see him struggling. He groaned to himself before looking up at me again, "Listen Alex, I know we aren't exactly…um close. But we're going to protect you and help you through this…" he started and I kind of figured that it was usually Sam who had these kinds of talks, "But to do that you're going to have to stick around with us for a while. Is that alright?" he asked, his green eyes searching my brown ones that I guessed were still bloodshot and swollen from the crying,
"Yeah, that's okay." I answered, my voice cracking from all the pressure it's been under and his eyes lit up at me finally answering. I gave him half a smile and he smiled back putting his hands on his knees before standing up right when the door to our room opened up, with Sam walking in.
"And?" Dean asked not moving from his spot as he stared at Sam with a questioning look and he shrugged his shoulders
"Well after getting yelled at for the last ten minutes." He started as he threw, I'm guessing Dean's phone back to him, "He said to get there as soon as possible and that we were in for a beating." He finished while rubbing the back of his neck with a cheeky smile.
"That's great. Not the beating but yeah that's great." Dean answered rubbing his hands together,
"Wait, what's great?" I asked, my voice still raspy making me sound like an old man who smoked 10 packs a day. They both looked at me, Sam a little surprised like he had just noticed I was awake and listening to the conversation, "Well we kind of needed a place to stay while we figure all of this out so we called an old friend to see if he could help us out. He agreed and said we could stay at his place."
"So we're going to head out there as soon as you're ready." Dean finished and I squinted my eyes staring the both of them down. I thought about it for a few good seconds.
"I mean I'm already stuck with two strangers for who knows how long, what's one more?" I commented and it took them both a second to realize I was joking and they both smiled.
"Look at that. I think we're going to make pretty good friends." Dean winked and I shook my head
"That's what you think." I shot back, the corners of my mouth twitching into a small smile before disappearing. He looked at me shocked as I walked over to the washroom. I shut the door, leaning against it still avoiding the mirror, and shook my head with a small chuckle, Maybe we will make some pretty good friends. I ran my hands through my hair, flattening it out as much as it was possible to flatten curly hair and sighed while using the hair band on my wrist to tie it back. I moved away from the door before leaning back on the wall, sliding myself down to the floor before bringing my knees up to my chest again. It felt like the entire thing was a dream, like that whole thing didn't actually happen but it was just a really dreadful, vivid nightmare. I knew it happened, I saw it, I heard it, I was there, but my mind wouldn't believe it. That's why I was still functioning; why I was still able to walk let alone speak. I knew that was the last time I'd ever see them but something in my mind just kept repeating that it wasn't over. But that small little thought was wiped away in the blink of an eye. This feeling of complete suffocation hit me like a truck; it felt like I was drowning and my whole body began to ache, "They're gone, oh god, they're gone." I whimpered as I clutched my chest, forcing my legs to the ground to somehow make it easier for me to breathe. The tears stung my eyes and felt like they were burning a path on the way down my face. My chest was rising and falling so fast it made me feel like I was about to pass out, my eyes dropped down to my shirt and that's when I noticed I was still wearing the same shirt as yesterday. It wouldn't have had as much of an effect on me but what made it terrifying were the spots of dried blood still on it. That's what got me to crack and I started screaming again, given maybe 2 seconds the door had burst open again revealing both brothers. "There's blood, their blood is still on my shirt." I cried hysterically as I brought my hands up to my face, mostly covering my mouth to keep from throwing up. Dean had ran out of the washroom into the bedroom before returning not to long after; he handed whatever he had gotten to Sam, letting him walk over to me, "Alex, you gotta listen to me okay?" Sam asked, his voice gentle but loud enough to hear over my sobs.
"Their blood is on my shirt, oh my god. I can't do this."
"Alex, listen to me. You gotta take your shirt off so we can get rid of it." I couldn't focus on his words completely but I did understand what he was asking. "I'm really sorry you have to do it in front of us but you have to Alex." He pleaded and it took me a few seconds to move my hands away from my face. "Just keep your eyes shut okay?" he suggested and I nodded my head, bringing my trembling hands down to the hem of my shirt. I lifted it up slowly and once it got to where I had to bring it over my head I did it quickly in fear of getting any of it on my face or hair. I handed it to him and he gave it to Dean telling him to throw it out. My eyes were still shut as I brought my knees back up to my chest, not even caring that I was sitting shirtless in front of two strangers.
My face was hidden in my knees as I sobbed and I could still feel Sam's presence in front of me, "Alex it's gone. The shirts gone." He tried to comfort but it didn't work. I looked up at him as my sobs slowly turned into hiccups,
"That was their blood Sam, it was on my shirt. My family's blood was on my shirt."
"God I'm so sorry. We should've seen it I'm so sorry."
I bit the inside of my lips as I looked up at him, he looked like he was on the verge of starting to cry with me and that's when I noticed what he was holding. It was a dark purple t-shirt with some kind of writing on it, "Here, we should've given you this earlier but…" he fumbled with his words as he stretched his hand out to me. My eyes moved slowly from his face to the shirt and I swallowed back hard before moving my hand, wrapping my fingers around the shirt before bringing it closer to me. At first hiding my face in it for a few moments before finally sliding it over my head, slipping my arms through the sleeves and pulling it down to cover the rest of my stomach. He was sitting with his knees bent, legs tucked underneath him as he waited patiently. My lip was quivering; I could feel it shaking, and my heart felt like it was being stabbed with swords. I felt so alone. I knew he was right in front of me but everything hurt so much. I got up on my knees before crawling over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hiding my face in his collar, "it hurts, everything hurts." I wept as his arms instantly wrapped around my waist. "Sam I… I wish I was dead. It hurts too much." I whispered, feeling him tense at my words before he brought one hand up to my head.
"Don't say that." He murmured as he hugged me tighter, "Please don't say that. I swear to you it'll get better."
"But I'm alone, I've…I've got no one." I sobbed gripping his shirt because the words seemed to leave a foul taste on my tongue.
"No you're not. You aren't alone. I'm here for you okay? I'm always going to be here. I'm not going to leave." At first his words shocked me but as soon as I let them sink in I hugged him harder. "Thank you."
"We aren't leaving you. You won't be alone. You've got us and we've got you. You'll get through this." He reassured and I nodded, mumbling muffled thank you's into the fabrics of his shirt as I still tried to control my crying.
The first thing I did when I finally got up and didn't collapse onto my feet was walk back into the bedroom with Sam close behind. Dean was sitting hunched over in the chair; he stood up when he saw me and automatically began apologizing, "Alex I'm so sorry. I should've given you a different shirt before and I'm just really sorry about….about everything."
I shook my head before walking up to him, hesitantly stopping as I stared at the shirt underneath the leather jacket. He probably left and actually went to get rid of the shirt in a way that there was no way anyone could find it. I brought my eyes up to his, giving him a sad smile before wrapping my arms around him, "Thank you."
He wavered before gently placing his arms on my back, "Thank you for everything."
"…no problem kiddo." he answered and I could tell that he really didn't know why I was thanking him but he accepted anyways. I pulled away and took a few steps back as they both watched me intently, "So um, where did you guys say we were going?"
