Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter. I was on vacation.

After a horrible moment of confusion, breathlessness, and utter indignation, Drose found herself tumbling onto a lumpy surface. "Man, what was that about? Mr. Black?"

"Offf," the floor moaned. "Geroff me…"

Drose pushed herself up. "What are you doing on the floor anyway?"

"You fell on me," A girl in an "American Eagle" t-shirt and jeans stood up, hands on hips. "I guess your ride wasn't looking where he was going. And what's your name, anyway?"

"Dr+Rose4vrr, but you can call me Drose."

"Zoe Alice Latimer, but you can call me Zoe," Zoe pushed a lock of brown hair away from her face. "Where do you think we are?"

Drose looked around. They were in a room at least twice the size of a football room with light blue walls of frosted glass and a black marble floor. "Reminds of the sci-fi convention I dragged my boyfriend (well, ex-boyfriend) to once—except the costumes are much better made. Why, that Dalek in the corner actually looked like it could exterminate you! "

"And that Sontaran in the corner really looks impressive doesn't it?" Another girl nodded. "Zoe and I think we hit our heads and fell unconscious and are really dreaming all this."

"That's Sara's theory," Zoe rolled her eyes. "But if we were dreaming, then we wouldn't think of it, would we?"

"My friend Bailey—" Sara began, but a low humming noise cut through the conversation. A noise that made every human, Dalek, Cyberman, Sontaran, and other costumed person in the room turn around and stare.

It was the most wonderful sound in the universe. Or, more precisely, the Whoniverse. It was the sound of a Type 40 TARDIS with the brakes left on.

Every eye or equivalent feature stared as a blue box appeared—on the ceiling? The door swung open as a brunette woman poked her head out. "Ladies and gentlemen—actually, it should be boys and girls, or maybe girls, girls and boys considering the ratio—anyway, welcome to—"

"You're upside down!" Drose yelled.

"Dear me, I thought you were. TARDIS gravity, remember? Anyway, I wouldn't be if someone had left the floor space open. But enough of that. Welcome to the Whoniversity of Fanfiction. I am Miss Grace, head of the university, along with Miss Esther, head of Bannerman Academy, and Miss Roheryn, director of Torchwood Five. During the next semester, you will be taught the basic history of the Whoniverse, as well as basic writing techniques and methods. Second semester will cover alternate timelines, crossovers, parallel dimensions, future regenerations, and anything I haven't mentioned yet but will think of later."

Sara was becoming slightly dizzy from continuing to stare at Miss Grace's upside-down antics.

"For now, each of you will be guided to your rooms and given further information. I'll see you back here in three hours, and I hope to find sufficient space for the TARDIS to land."

In a surprisingly short amount of time, the room was empty. Drose was escorted out by Mr. Black, while Sara and Zoe followed a blue-headed alien with three tendril-things, about three feet high, down a very twisting corridor with several flights of stairs. "How many…floors…is this place?" Zoe panted.

"Twelve point five."

"What? And what are you, anyway?" Zoe added.

"Groske. We help with school."

"No, I think she meant why are there twelve point five floors?"

"Built that way," he replied. "Grace's orders. Come."

"But what I don't understand—" Zoe turned, following the Groske upstairs. "Is—why—point five,"

"Save breath. Rooms steal it."

Sara rolled her eyes. "Sounds bad."

On the fifth flight of stairs, Sara and Zoe met another pair of girls—this one led by a pig-head man in a 1930s suit.

"I think Rani is a substitute for Maria, but she's definitely more like Sarah Jane."

"Just as long as you don't start shipping them."

"Ew!" The first girl scrunched up her face. "Who do you think I am, Harkness?"

"I'm off to 42. Where are you going?" Pig-head asked the Groske.

"Same," he replied. A strange noises—a cross between the TARDIS's materialization noise and a pager tone, issued from the Groske's belt. He looked down at it. "PG filter broken. Must fix. You take Zoe and Sara?" He quickly handed something from his pocket to the pig-man before running off.

Pig-man nodded. "Come along."

"I'm Sara, and this is Zoe. Who are you?" Sara offered.

"I'm Evelyn, sometimes Star,"

"And I'm Ashley. Who's your favorite Doctor?"

"Ten," Zoe answered.

"Me too." Ashley high-fived Zoe. "I keep telling Evelyn that Eleven is just too crazy, but she won't listen."

"Eleven is cool," she protested, turning to Sara. "What about you?"

"Classic or Revived? Five for Classic, Ten for New. And Ten is a fan of Five, so—"

"Classic fan," Zoe did a double take. "You never told me!"

"We met five minutes ago," Sara muttered.

"Come on," the pig man told them. After another flight of stairs, he stopped outside a plan wood door with the numbers "42" above the door. He reached into a pocket and pulled out four key on strings. "Try not to faint."

Zoe took her key and inserted it in the lock, quickly pulling the lever so that the door swung out towards them. "I wonder they keep in here."

"Besides us? Absolutely everything," Ashley quipped.

And she wasn't far wrong.

"It's the TARDIS!" Sara gasped.

"It's plain white," Evelyn replied.

"More like the First Doctor's control room, I suppose. The coral is a recent development, after all…" Sara walked up to the hexagonal table in the middle. "See, that's the motor. And all the buttons and dials and stuff…I have seen Unearthly Child, after all."

"Never mind that, let's take a trip!"

"Um….it's not a TARDIS." The man walked up to the counsel and hit a button. "Watch,"

Another person appeared in the room, a stringbean girl with hair like River, brainy specs like Ten, and a giant Fourth-Doctor scarf. "Hello, I am Miss Esther, head of Bannerman Academy, and this—" she gestured around the room. "Is a reTARDIS. Restricted Time and Relative Dimensions In Space. It has the transcendental properties of a TARDIS but without the connection to the Time Vortex. Instead, it is powered by HONF and solar energy, and can run only simulated missions. But it still has appropriate rooms, a changeable desktop theme, a swimming pool, etc. To receive your class schedules, speak your name as written on your form into this—" Esther pointed to a speaker hidden underneath the console. "And it will be printed for you. Items needed for class will be listed on the bottom of your form; all will be available somewhere in the TARDIS. For now, choose bedrooms and print out lists before returning to the main hall. Each reTARDIS should have six students, unless otherwise noted."

"Six?" Zoe looked around.

"Oh and one more thing, because I'm sure everyone's going to ask. Why 12.5 floors? Well, one is for staff, but think about the rest." The image flicked and died.

"Six?" Zoe repeated. "Well, I suppose we can fit six people in here, but where are the other two?"

"I'm going to find a bedroom," Ashley said. "I hope this 'reTARDIS' has a decent wardrobe.

"I'll come with you," Evelyn agreed. "Maybe it has a squash court. I always thought squash was a veggie, but you never know…"

Just as Evelyn and Ashley disappeared down a hallway, another Groske came in, followed by a brunette with waist-length hair. "This your room." He pointed to Zoe and Sara. "Theirs too. Six girls. They explain."

"Am I late? The other girl in my group took a wrong turn looking for the restroom—"I'm Nichelle, or Icey if you prefer."

"Are you Scottish? You sound like Amelia Pond."

"I am not Scottish. I'm from New Zealand."

"You still sound Scottish." Sara pointed out.

"I don't. I know someone from Scotland."

"Well, I don't hear many accents where I come from," Zoe crossed her arms. "But anyway, I didn't know there were Kiwi Whovians."

"We have to wait longer for everything—except if it was made here. Now, what did I miss?"

A scream echoed down the hall.