Lean on Me
Self-Absorbed Author's Ramblings: I've been thinking… Mr. Schue was there when Quinn and Santana had a fight break out in the middle of the hallway during Season 2. And if my memory's right... a few times, he's also gotten in between the guys trying to fight. Why didn't he report those incidents? Why would he report Santana's incident? Especially when he knew the reason behind Santana's distress?
Seriously, the writers butchered Will's character just so that they could twist events into putting Santana and TT in ND's choir room and they could have their Santana-serenading sessions and Finn had every opportunity to be the bestest hero ever.
Just saying.
On another note, I hope y'all keep reading and reviewing. :) Such things make every writer happy :D
Also, Kurt's POV being used here… it sort of just happened. xD I was inspired to write out how I think he might've reacted after finding out what Finn did. I mean if Kurt never even considered outing Karofsky, he must feel very strongly against it.
Last: This story kind of took on a life of its own. While I said the focus would be the Unholy Trinity, some other characters had somehow managed to find their ways into this story. It just... happened. xD
Chapter Two
"Finn, what is wrong with you? You do not do that!" After Santana's episode, the two glee clubs had followed their respective directors out of the auditorium. Once he'd learned of the entire situation, Kurt was overwhelmed by disgust with his stepbrother and the stream of lectures and questions just poured out of him more endlessly than rain during the worst storm. "You never ever out someone! That's the lowest blow you could ever give someone! What were you thinking?!"
Finn, steadily growing irritated, kept walking along with the rest of New Directions. "You should've heard the stuff she was saying to me. She was totally out of line!"
"So?" Kurt heard his own voice coming out shrill. "Santana's mouth sometimes is better left shut and locked in one room, but she didn't deserve that. No one does! Hasn't being my friend, being my brother taught you anything?"
"Yeah!" Finn's own voice came out slightly higher than usual as he yelled back his response. The tall quarterback paused to swallow and take a deep breath before he spoke again, though he was still obviously aggravated. "It's not a big deal, being gay and stuff like that. You're better out of the closet than in it. So why can't she get that?"
Kurt felt his hands trembling as his anger kept him from immediately or intelligently yelling out his next response. Blaine put both hands on Kurt's shoulders in an effort to calm him, but it wasn't working as well as it usually would. "I don't believe in outing another person! If you paid even one smidgen of attention to the things I say you would know that!"
"Kurt… take a breath and calm down for a bit…" Blaine tried to soothe Kurt.
"Why can't you just drop it?" Finn's yell was much louder this time, enough for the rest of Glee to stop in their tracks.
"Guys… now's not the time for us to be turning on each other." Mr. Schue stepped between them. His voice was outwardly calm, but the warning behind it was clear.
"Not every parent is as open-minded as my dad and not every gay kid is as ready to come out as Blaine and I. If something bad happens to Santana, don't be surprised if people blame you." With this last outburst, Kurt turned his back on them and stomped off, the sound of Blaine's footsteps echoing behind him. If Mr. Schue had anything important to announce, Rachel or whoever could just tell them.
Right now, Kurt was too furious to be in the same room as Finn Hudson.
Santana was known for her sharp, heavily-barbed tongue and her tendency to resort to violence. Head cheerleader, hot body, complete confidence- she was at the top of the High School food chain. Things were under her and in her control. Always.
Santana had relished that feeling.
Now, things were going to change. It was all beyond her control and she hated it. The frustration, anger and terror that was mixed in together insider her felt like she had some sort of hurricane of emotions going on in her head. It was draining her of all the spunk and confidence she usually had. It wasn't a nice feeling.
Again and again that campaign ad played in her head like a defective DVD.
"If you're so into family values, why did you promote a lesbian student to be your head cheerleader?"
How was she supposed to tell her parents about this? Every time she tried to think of how to start on the topic, Santana choked on her words. The fear was making it difficult to speak, to think, to breathe.
Lesbian student to be your head cheerleader.
It would be better for them to hear it from her than from the damn campaign ad. But… how? How to start? What to say? Tell them both at the same time? Or mom first then dad next? Or dad first, mom after?
Lesbian student.
The whole gay thing, it wasn't talked about that much in their family. Sort of the thing that conversation always just goes around and doesn't touch on. This would probably be the first time that they'd ever really discuss it. Would they actually turn out to be open-minded? Would they hug her and tell her they'd known all along? Like Kurt's dad? Like Brittany's parents?
Lesbian.
Santana hoped they'd be accepting. She also wished she had the guts that Brittany had… and Kurt… and even that ankle-bearing dwarf, Blaine. Right now though, she was so full of fear, it wouldn't be surprising if people on the other edge of Lima could smell it coming off of her in waves.
"Otherwise, God is kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean, he makes me gay and then he has his followers going around telling me it's something that I chose. As if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life."
Randomly, what Kurt said last year about God made its way into Santana's mind.
Was God on her side in all of this? Or was it like how Kurt saw it? That He either didn't exist or didn't care? Or was it like how religion-obsessed creeps always put it? That gay people were a disgraceful, sinful abomination… was it like that?
Kurt had went through living in Hell last year, with the way people treated him. Was a similar fate in store for Santana?
Lesbian.
Their family… her parents… they were that kind of people. Church every Sunday, prayer before and after meals… the whole deal. So… would their reaction be driven by love of their religion or love of their daughter?
"Santana…"
Brittany's voice startled her out of her whirlpool of thoughts. She'd almost forgotten that her girlfriend (wow, under different circumstances, the concept of Brittany being her girlfriend would have thrilled Santana. Now though… she was just feeling way too many other emotions to have room for that) was just next to her in the passenger seat. Guilt then decided to add itself to the already overwhelming mixture. Britt didn't deserve her silence.
Santana swallowed, bracing herself before speaking in as steady a voice as she could manage. "Yeah, Britt?"
"Do… you wanna talk?" Brittany asked. Santana briefly took her eyes off the road to look at the girl in the passenger seat. Concern and worry was written all over her face. Feeling even guiltier, but also feeling slightly comforted, Santana returned her gaze to the road. "You've been quiet the whole ride… A few blocks ago, we passed by someone wearing an outfit worse than Rachel's grandma-plus-three-year-old style and you didn't even comment on it."
"Did we?" Santana deflected. "Maybe we should turn around so I can get a second look."
"San…" She felt Brittany's hand touch her arm and give it a light squeeze. "I'm right here… we can talk if you want to."
"I'm just…" Santana wasn't sure where to start. Too many fears and frustrations and feelings were running all over her confused mind, wilder than kindergarteners during recess. "I… I dunno…" The steadiness was leaving her voice, and the dull pain in her chest suddenly started growing sharp again. Not quite as bad as after she saw the ad, or during and after the mash-off.
Not yet.
"I'm dreading how they're going to react." The words left Santana in a rush. She figured it was better to shove them out quick as possible now than let them come out in embarrassingly broken sobs later.
"I'm sure they love you, Santana…" Brittany tried to reassure her. "And… I think… with that love, they'll accept you."
"I hope so…" Now, she whispered her response. Santana took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Hadn't she bawled enough earlier today? A few days ago, she'd come close to shedding tears after frankenteen opened his stupid mouth. But pride had saved her from wasting them on that whale.
Then that ad happened. And she lost it.
Now, she didn't want a replay. It was bad enough that Quinn saw her crying.
Still… deep down, Santana appreciated her friend's support. And Brittany… always there, always supportive, always believing in her… Thank God or Santa or the Grinch or Fate or whoever or whatever for Brittany S. Pierce.
"I've got so much on my mind right now, Britt." Santana sighed before casting another quick glance at Brittany. "But… y'know… after all of this… I'll thank you for everything somehow."
"Well you can start by turning the car around, I think we passed my house ten minutes ago."
"What?" Santana looked around, realizing that they were already well past Britt's neighborhood. Inwardly cursing, she did as Brittany asked. "Sorry…"
"It's fine, San." Brittany gave her shoulder a pat before asking, "Did they say when the campaign ad will show?"
Santana paused, thinking about it. Burt Hummel just said that the tape was a copy of the campaign ad that whatsisname sent him in advance. "No… but I'm pretty sure it's going to be soon."
"Maybe you don't have to do it today…" That was an incredibly tempting idea. There was always tomorrow, or the day after that. Maybe they won't even see the ad. Maybe it was revised and wouldn't include her anymore.
Yeah, right. That was as likely as Quinn and Mercedes switching bodies.
"I gotta get this done today, Britt. Otherwise I'll lose my nerve and they'll find out from the ad or someone else."
"I could come with you…" Brittany offered. "You don't have to drop me off now. We can go together. Like how Timon and Pumbaa always do stuff together like when they were dealing with the hyenas in Lion King."
Santana couldn't help but smile, but she still slowed down as they neared Britt's house. "Thanks, Britt-Britt. But… I… I can handle it." Actually, she just didn't want Brittany to be there if something… went wrong. It was a safety measure.
"You sure?" Brittany asked.
They were in the Pierce driveway now. Still, it wasn't too late to start the car up again and bring Brittany with her. Santana bit her lip, thinking about it. Having Britt there would be great… And she really wished she didn't have to do it alone.
But… Santana had a feeling… a strong feeling that it would be better if Brittany didn't come along. No matter how badly she wanted Britt with her.
"Yeah, I'm sure." Santana forced herself to meet Brittany's eyes and reassure her with a smile. "I'm sure."
At first, it looked like Brittany was going to insist on staying in the car, looking at Santana as doubtfully as she was. But then, thankfully, she unbuckled her seatbelt, "Alright then." Inwardly, Santana let out a sigh of relief.
"I know you can do it." Brittany leaned over towards Santana's side of the car, "Lord Tubbington and I believe in you."
A short laugh bubbled out of Santana, "Thanks, Britt."
"It's going to turn out okay, okay?" God, if only she could have Brittany's optimism.
"Okay." Santana tried not to look away from Brittany, whose face was now very close to hers. A very desperate, frightened part of her was incredibly tempted to just beg Brittany to come with her and hold her hand through the nerve-wracking experience that would take place once she got home.
What happened next was both too surprising for her to really react to and too fast for her to be aware of until it was over. Brittany gave her lips a quick kiss.
It called forth all kinds of bubbly, positive feelings that briefly, temporarily chased away the anxieties plaguing her mind and caused a dopey smile to form on her face. Santana found herself wishing it hadn't happened so fast.
"I love you Santana, and like how I know Lord Tubbington hides his cigarettes under my sister's bed, I know you'll get through this and it's all going to turn out okay."
It's going to be okay.
"Hey…"
Artie looked up, surprised to be interrupted from his thoughts. More surprising was who it was. Finn, Puck, those guys, he was used to talking to since they'd been hanging out a lot more… but… Tina?
"What're you still doing in school?"
"Waiting for my mom to pick me up." Artie answered quietly, avoiding eye contact. It was humiliating enough that he couldn't drive or commute like everyone else usually did. He tried to divert the focus of the budding conversation back to her. "You?"
"Mike and I were in the library, getting some homework done in advance." Tina answered.
"Oh."
A brief silence passed. It wasn't exactly a comfortable one though.
"How are you?" Tina was the first to break it.
Artie avoided her gaze, pushing his glasses further up his nose and pretending to take interest in the left armrest of his wheelchair. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm looking forward to the latest episode of Mythbusters when I get home. After that, they're going to show a feature about robots."
"Does it bother you..? The whole Brittany-Santana thing?"
"Brittana." Artie muttered. The bitterness wasn't as strong as it had been when he first found out last school year. And he rarely ever thought about it anymore. Directing was his calling, and it's what he cared about most now. Still… when nothing interesting was showing on Discovery Channel or NatGeo or any of the usual channels, sometimes his thoughts drifted back to Brittany.
"Brittana…" Tina repeated quietly. "Right…"
"Well I already knew about it before… y'know… all this happened." Artie told her. "And for a while… most of summer, actually…" With a chuckle, he remembered some of the things he'd fantasized happening to Santana. Hit by a car, sat on by Karofsky, eaten by Sam's huge mouth, shot out of a cannon… to name a few. "I wanted something really really bad to happen to Santana so I could have Brittany back…"
He left out the part where his need to get over Tina was the whole reason the Brittany thing started in the first place. Artie toyed with his gloves before looking up at Tina, "But now… I… I just feel kind of bad for her…" He smiled. "Kind of funny, huh?"
Tina smiled slightly, looking like she wasn't sure how she was supposed to react.
"She's a bitch who manipulates people and her words are about as bad as Ms. Sylvester's…" Artie stated what he and Tina knew was the truth before he added, "But we've all seen the kind of crap Kurt's had to live with..." Artie shook his head, trying to make sense of his own opinion, because it was bizarre even to him.
"Maybe I'm mostly over Brittany and I don't care about Santana anymore… maybe I've changed since I've gotten into directing… I don't know…" Artie continued, "But I'm actually hoping that things turn out right for her."
The TV was droning on in the background, showing some old re-runs of some cheesy long-running television series. Dad was at the table, going through some paperwork while Mom flitted about, taking inventory as she wrote the grocery list. A normal, everyday situation. It's been this way every evening for as long as she could remember. Sometimes, the difference would be dad's absence, because some emergency or another called him to the hospital. But usually… this was how things looked after dinner.
Santana had spent the few hours before dinner pacing her room, practicing the words in her head, asking the dark wallpaper for their opinions. When dinner came, she barely had much appetite. After, she helped clear the table.
Soon, her parents would be leaving for their bedroom and she'd lose her chance.
The tightness in her chest was keeping Santana from breathing normally.
Lesbian student.
Could they see that her hands were trembling? If she hadn't been sitting on a chair, her shaky legs would not have been able to hold her upright. Santana swallowed, recalling the speech she'd prepared in her head. If she could just gather the courage she needed to deliver it, this would be all over.
It was going to be okay.
I love girls the way that I'm supposed to feel about boys. It's just something that's always been inside of me and I really want to share it with you both because I love you both so much…
Why couldn't she just say it? The words were on their way out of her but just stopped, blocked by a thorny barrier of fear and anxiety. It was getting painful. It felt like her whole body was shaking. Could they see it? Could they even sense any of this? Santana swallowed, but even that seemed to get tangled up in the barricade.
"Santana, are you alright?" Mom had an empty jar in her hand, she set it on the table. Could she see Santana shivering? "Normally, you rush off to your laptop at this time."
"I-I-" Why was this so hard?
Coward.
Finn Willy's voice managed to find its way into her head.
Lesbian.
That fucking campaign ad.
"You look pale." Dad looked up from the papers he was going through.
They were both looking at her now. It was now or never. "Mom… dad… I… I have something to tell you guys." Her voice came out several pitches higher, and her insides felt like they were wriggling and squirming. She opened her mouth to continue, but the barrier was still there, and it stubbornly refused to let the words come out.
I love girls the way I'm supposed to feel about boys.
Was that so hard to say?
Coward.
"Spit it out already!" Dad grumbled impatiently.
"I-I-"
Just then, the campaign ad came on.