Summary; Bianca has to come to terms with the loss in her life, while trying to decide how she'll be able to return to her old life now. All the while someone from her new life is trying to make her stay. (Roman/OC)
Warnings; this story contains child loss and stillbirth. (Please don't read if you're sensitive to this subject.)
Disclaimer; I only own my OC Bianca. At no point do I suggest this is reality or reflects reality, it's entirely made up.
Make Me Stay
Chapter 2
When Roman had told Nurse Lucy he would be there as soon as possible, Bianca didn't think he meant that just seven minutes later he could be heard outside her room running through the halls before his rough and currently breathless voice asked for her.
This is what she meant, he was always there for her.
Bianca could hear nurse Lucy telling him to breath and that she could take Roman to her.
And then he was there, standing in the doorway as their eyes met he stuck to the floor beneath him and just stared.
When Roman had received the call from Sacred Heart and they told him Bianca was there and that there had been complications with their baby he didn't wait for them to tell him what complications he just took off straight there.
It wasn't until he actually saw Bianca that he realized he shouldn't have jumped the trigger so quickly.
To Bianca the look on his face told her everything, he hadn't known.
Hadn't she asked for Lucy to tell him?
Roman made his way into the room, taking the seat next to her bed he instinctively grabbed Bianca's hand and begun rubbing the pad of his thumb against the back of her hand.
He didn't know how to ask, although if he knew if he didn't start asking questions soon all the possibilities in his head would start becoming too much.
"B?" he asked, not sure if she was here with him really.
"Yeah," she mumbled back. Bianca still wasn't looking at him and her eyes stayed close.
"I don't really know how to ask this B," he sighed.
"Honestly," she moved a little to face him, "I don't know what happened yet."
"So there's a chance?" he asked hopeful.
The tears automatically welled and she couldn't stop them from falling this time, all she could do was shake her head no.
A man, Roman was a man he kept reminding himself as he tried to blink back the tears that had welled in his own eyes.
B wasn't his girlfriend, partner or wife but she was family. His family. He had to be strong for his family, the mother of his child and his child even if his son wasn't here with them anymore.
The pair had never been affectionate towards each other, that wasn't part of this 'co-parenting' thing they had going on but Roman decided to cross that line now. Bianca slightly stiffened when Roman had pulled her towards him but when his big arms wrapped around her and held her tight she relaxed feeling oddly comfortable and safe in his arms.
A small knock on the door had them pulling back from their embrace as nurse Lucy came into the room again.
"I know this is a hard time for the two of you and you're still coming to terms with things but we have to start talking about where we are going from here."
"Is a Doctor able to come in and let us know what happened, maybe help us understand why?" Roman asked.
"Of course Mr. Reigns, Miss Anderson's Doctor is on his way here now but I can get one of our maternity Doctors in here now and they could answer your questions."
Roman looked back at B, silently asking what she wanted to do.
"We should wait for Doctor Martin."
"Then wait we will," he agreed.
"Of course, now Doctor Martin has sent over all previous scans and documentation of your pregnancy but I want to fore warn you that because of what happened earlier in the ultrasound room he was unable to get all the measurements he needs or look for what could have possibly caused this. This means that we will have to do another ultrasound."
B knew that it would be hard but she also knew that this needed to happen, she needed to know why she would never get to know her son.
"I understand, my emotions are high but I think I'm going to be alright this time. I need to understand why this happened."
"We have to tell you beforehand though that sometimes these things just happen, they don't always have a medical reason behind them. Almost always there is nothing you could have done sweetheart."
Sweetheart. Something in Bianca had always hated terms of endearments, maybe this was why. They always led back to times of both sadness and weakness, two things Bianca hated outwardly showing.
Still she knew it wasn't poor Lucy at blame here. "Thank you," she smiled, "for everything so far. Is it okay though for us to have a moment alone before Doctor Martin gets here?" she asked
"Of course Miss." Lucy left the room after.
"B, you're so strong we will get through this." Roman whispered in her ear after he pulled her back into his arms.
Unfortunately B didn't quite believe in that herself.
Losing a child wasn't just something you could be 'strong' about and come back from was it? Of course B had never lost a child but she imagined that their son would always be there with her now.
While there was some comfort to that thought, there was also a harsh pain to it. A guilt like pain that while she was here on earth living her life, no matter if her son was there by her side in heaven he wasn't going to be here by her side on earth.
He had spoken to her now minutes before but she finally was able to tell him what she had been waiting to say, "I really, really hope so Ro."
Doctor Martin arrived not ten minutes later and the hard questions where able to be asked. Unfortunately nothing was made any less painful or harder when he disclosed that there was no obvious signs of cause of death.
Sadly, that wasn't the worst part.
At 20 weeks and 4 days, Bianca was informed that she would now have to make the hard decision on how to delivery her dead baby.
There were options though Bianca could make the decision to wait it out and let her body take the natural steps when it was ready, she could have the Doctors induce her and go through a labor today or Doctors could perform a C-Section.
Every option though led to the same result, a tiny precious and beautiful baby. Just a tiny precious, beautiful baby that was also dead.
It didn't seem fair.
Once the Doctors left to give the parents time to talk, time to choose an 'option', Roman made the heartbreaking call to his mother who was devastated.
Patricia Anoa'i rushed to the hospital to hold her son and for the lovely young lady she had quickly welcomed into her family like a daughter.
Bianca thanked whatever God there was for Patricia today, the woman was full of courage and strength for all three of them.
With the Doctors wanting to know what route she wanted to go with Bianca chose to be induced that afternoon and give birth to her son.
It took seventeen long and emotional hours before Bianca started to really feel her uterus contract, just like her, her body wasn't ready to let go yet.
They were meant to still have 4 months till this happened!
Once the contractions started though there was no turning down on the pain, her initial plan of a drug free birth was no longer supported.
A morphine drip was put in and she was given an epidural, Bianca cried the whole time they were putting the epidural in. Just thinking about how she had planned to not have one when she was to give birth but how it didn't even matter anymore. He was dead.
Eventually she was thankful for the epidural though as it took the pain of the contractions away completely. Of course she knew they were there and when she was having them, she just couldn't feel them.
Then after eighteen and a half hours Bianca suddenly felt a ton of pressure, the kind of pressure that felt like she really, really badly needed to pee. Bianca knew what this meant though, she knew her baby was ready to come out now.
It didn't take long after that, the feeling of needing to push overwhelmed Bianca.
Delivering his head was the hardest part and Bianca knew when it was happening despite having little to no feeling of it. The whole room was silent bar the sobs of Bianca and Patricia.
A gush of relief swept over her as she delivered the rest of his body, Bianca knew she wouldn't hear tears but of course she still had some dim hope and when it was still silent her heart broke just that little more she didn't know it could.
It was bitter sweet for Roman when they asked if he wanted to cut the cord, he stood on shaky legs and made the decision to do so though. Bianca could hear him finally start to sob as they wrapped his tiny, tiny body in a blanket and placed him in Roman's arms.
Bianca wasn't sure she could handle seeing her baby, so through tears she asked "Ro, what does he look like?"
He smiled, his face wet with tears, yet graced with the proudest of smiles. "His perfect. His beautiful, a beautiful little man." he choked out.
Then the nurse Lucy asked if she wanted to hold her son.
B was scared, she had all these visions of this perfect little boy in her mind and was just afraid to lose that.
B asked Patricia if she could hold him first for her, Patricia smiled sweetly at her and took a hold of her grandson.
"Oh B, his so perfect. He has your little nose B, his so beautiful." she cooed.
Looking over at Bianca, Patricia could tell she needed some reassurance before she could make the decision to see the little boy though.
"His fragile sweetheart, a little swollen and bruised from the delivery but he truly is perfect. I think you should see him B."
"I-I-I want to see him now."
Patricia smiled sweetly as she handed her grandson over to Bianca.
Bianca was beyond nervous as Patricia placed Malakai in her arms, wrapped in a blanket and with a tiny knit hat on his head. The first thing she noticed was that Patricia was right, he had her nose. B had always joked with Roman that he had her nose she could just see it in the ultrasound but he did, he really did. God, thank you.
Then she saw his perfect little hands, complete with the cutest little fingernails. Fingernails, her baby had fingernails.
Then his feet, each with five adorable little toes. Notably his feet where nearly the biggest thing on him, just like his dad she could tell. Those had been the little feet kicking her!
It all became a little too much for her after that and she had to hand Malakai back to Roman.
Bianca will never forgot the look of admiration and love on his face as he looked down at his beautiful baby boy. "Have you thought of any names?" he asked, not taking his eyes of his son.
How had she forgotten to tell Roman!
"I actually had already begun calling him Malakai, it fits too you know. Malakai was an Angel to God and now our Malakai will be our own little Angel."
"Malakai," he said testing it on his tongue. "Malakai it is then, I love it. Leati Malakai Reigns."
They had already agreed to give their son Roman's first name and his dad before him but just like with Roman and Sika, Leati would just go by Malakai.
"Well then Hi there little Malakai, I'm your daddy." He gave Malakai's tiny little hand a shake. "You know we had so many plans for you little man, I was going to take you on rides with me, I had this little seat ordered and everything. Then when you were old enough I was going to teach you how to ride your own. We were going to take naps on the couch together, you could have laid on my chest all day and I wouldn't have mind. I'd imagined one summer we would have built our own ring just like I'd done with my Dad, I thought you might have even been able to teach me a thing or two one day."
Both Bianca and Patricia couldn't stop crying as they watched and listened Roman talk to his son. He'd known just how to hold him, how to talk to him, how to love him just like Bianca knew he would. He would have been the most perfect Dad for Malakai.
"I love you my little guy, you'll always be Daddy's little superman." He kissed Malakai's head before passing him back over to Patricia.
Eventually Sika and Roman's sisters came in to see Malakai and Bianca was so grateful to have them there.
Patricia took hundreds of photos, photos Bianca knew she would treasure forever.
They even gave Malakai his first bath that Roman got to help with.
Bianca got his footprints and handprints to keep as well.
Then the hardest part of the day came, Malakai needed to be taken to the morgue.
B wanted to scream and yell at the nurses that they couldn't take her baby, he was her baby.
Roman just held her the whole time while she sobbed into his shoulder telling him it wasn't fair.
That night Bianca was able to go home.
It was really hard to leave the hospital though, she wanted so badly to be able to leave the hospital with baby Malakai in her arms right now.
'Home' just felt so empty now though, it wasn't even her home she kept telling herself. This was Roman's home, he'd only invited her into his home because she was having his son.
Now there was no baby, where would she go?
Bianca spent the whole night on the nursery room floor just looking at photos of Malakai and his tiny hand and footprints. Imagining him inside this room, sleeping in that crib, changing him on the table, crawling around the room.
While Roman aimlessly worked his anger over it all out downstairs in the gym.
B was broken and so was he.
Chapter Note; this chapter goes out to my mate 'Guest' for the review of the last chapter. So I got some follows and even a favorite and decided to write some more to this story.
I know it's terribly depressing so far but I promise I don't plan for it to be like this the whole story.
Please read and review, xx