After Jack had placed Gwen's body in one of the drawers in the morgue, he went down to check on Ianto. Ianto had been to the hospital and had come back after about 3 hours, he had said he wanted to be with Jack. Jack couldn't just tell him to go home; it would have been no use, so he placed Ianto on the sofa to rest while he dealt with the corpse.
When Jack walked into the main part of the Hub, he noticed that Ianto was not on the sofa anymore. Looking around, he saw the Welshman sitting at Gwen's desk, head in his hands. He looked up at the sound of Jack's footsteps. He went up to him and noticed he had a pained look in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked, crouching in front of Ianto, wincing at the pained look in his eyes
"Nothing sir" Ianto said, as he looked down at his hands.
"Ianto, it's not nothing, you've just helped kill a member of the team… a friend even. No-one could be fine after that!" Jack said whilst grasping Ianto by the chin, forcing the younger man to look at him.
"I just keep thinking about how it happened. I mean, if you hadn't have gone into the alien, would you have been acting strange as well? I know the alien was letting out spores all the time but how did it happen?" Ianto said, he was completely confused and scared about what had happened, he couldn't help a tear run down his face.
"Well, from what I can guess, it was oozing spores all the time. I'm guessing they were meant to turn us against each other. Since I died, they wore off on but not on you lot because you were still outside. Look, we all did something stupid today, but I wouldn't beat myself up about it. And I don't believe for a second that you would have shot your friends if you were thinking straight." Jack finally let go of his chin, but kept his gaze on the young man's face.
"I would rather have died than shot them," Ianto looked right into Jack's eyes. "Someone still has to tell Rhys about it."
"I'll do it now, you just head off home or do what you want to here, and I'm not forcing you to go home, or even stay okay?" He stood up and walked out of the kitchen. Jack could tell Ianto was watching him as he made his way through the Hub but he didn't know what to do for the young man. Ianto was hurting and he couldn't stop it. He couldn't say things would be fine because they wouldn't be, they would be worse because now he had three injured team members and a dead one. This team, my team, is going to hell, Jack thought, as he closed the door to his office.
Ianto just sat there watching his retreating back. He still couldn't shake the image of Gwen's body lying on the ground, blood pooling beside her, and he had helped do that. As if he didn't have enough death on his hands he now had the death of a team mate, a friend to add to the list. He couldn't stand this life; Torchwood had changed it and not for the better. Ianto got up and went over to the coffee machine. Reaching for his cup, he saw Gwen's sat there, still with some coffee in it from this morning, he couldn't stand it being there so he picked it up and threw it, the smash the cup made as it broke into pieces was one that made Ianto sink to the floor and silently weep his friend, before wiping the tears and getting up, quickly grabbed his and Jack's cups and made the coffee as quickly as he could.
Jack saw Ianto walk up to his office and went to the door to meet him. He smiled when he saw that the young man had a coffee in his hands, but it soon disappeared when he saw the look on face.
"Ianto, do you need to talk more?" asked Jack, gently.
"Look sir, I need to know why you would rather have killed Gwen than let me die?" Ianto said, as he sat down in the seat in front of Jack's desk.
"What do you mean, Ianto?"
"I mean, you said earlier that you didn't want me to die yet. Why? I'm only the bloody tea boy, Gwen was the one who kept this place sane half the time, Jack," Ianto looked Jack right in the eyes, anger surging through him. "I need to know why, Jack? Gwen was worth more than me!"
"No Ianto, she wasn't. She wasn't the one who made me feel better knowing that I wouldn't wake up alone at night. The one that comforted me, the one that I spent most of my time with. Ianto I couldn't let you go because I wouldn't be so sure I would be the same. You have basically changed my life, and you've done it for the good." Jack looked shocked after he said that, he hadn't meant to give away that much information.
Ianto just looked at him, unable to speak as he realised what Jack had just told him. He hadn't known he meant so much to Jack, figuring he was just a part-time shag, someone to stop Jack hurting for a little while, and not someone who helped with his problems, who made Jack feel better. "Jack, if I'd known I wouldn't have asked. But surely you feel something for killing Gwen don't you?"
"I don't know Ianto, we both did it but I think if I'd just kept my mouth shut and not asked her that bloody question, she would have been alright," Jack looked past Ianto and to the cog door. "I now have two members of my team that are going to hate me for this, I'm lucky you understand."
"I only understand because I helped do it, Jack, but we have to tell the others tomorrow what you think happened, and why." Jack just looked at Ianto, he couldn't tell the others, they would never believe him.
"Come on Jack, drink your coffee and get some sleep, you need it." With that Ianto got up and walked out the office. Jack could only sit there, he wanted to go after Ianto and ask him to stay with him. And they could both help each other. That's why he found himself running off after Ianto to stop him before he left. He was lucky, Ianto had just put on his coat.
Ianto didn't want to leave that night, he wanted to comfort Jack and be comforted, but he knew they both needed space that night. He was a bit surprised when Jack came up to him and backed him against the wall, kissing him. This wasn't like Jack's normal kisses, this one was filled was despair and grief, not the life that Ianto normally associated with Jack. But he then figured he was probably the same.
Jack pulled back taking Ianto's coat off and leading him back down to the Hub. Ianto knew Jack wanted comfort as much as he did so he allowed Jack to lead him to his room under his office. They didn't do anything, just feeling safe with the knowledge that there was someone there for them if they needed it.
When Tosh and Owen came in the next day Jack could tell they weren't any better than Ianto or himself were feeling, so he sat them down while Ianto made coffee for them all.
"After I've told you two this, you two are going to have a couple of days of," Jack paused for them to agree. "Me and Ianto were talking last night, and we have a theory on what happened. We believe that alien was sending out spores and making everyone turn against each other, and seeing as I got eaten all the spores on me seemed to die. But they were still on you."
He stopped while Ianto came in and handed out the coffee, smiling at him as he took his cup. "When I asked that question to you all, it must have set them off because you all started acting weird, even Ianto."
"Ianto was acting normal; he took your side over us." Owen hissed out.
"No! I would rather have died than let Gwen get killed! She was my friend." Ianto said, though gritted teeth.
Jack looked steadily at Tosh and Owen, "That's what I think happened, and seeing as I didn't want to kill anyone, but either Ianto or Gwen had to die, there was no avoiding death." Jack turned to Toshiko. "What do you think Tosh?"
"I think it's a logical explanation of what happened, I was thinking about it as well and I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I shot you, Jack." Tosh said looking at the table.
"Well, I ain't saying bloody sorry cause I didn't shoot anyone, I was shot before I could." He sent a glare in Jack's direction.
"You three go home, get some rest and come in when you feel better." Jack looked at each in turn and watched as Owen and Tosh stood up and left. He looked at Ianto was collecting empty mugs. "Ianto, I said you can go home."
"I'd rather not sir. If its all right with you I'd like to stay here for a bit." Ianto said as he picked up Jack's mug.
Jack smiled, "It's always okay Ianto, I'm glad to have you here with me.