I lay in the makeshift room the hospital staff made for me in an old cleaning supply closet. I toss the pager, that's connected to the red button in Eli's room, onto my bed and go over everything that's been in my mind. With my key gone I feel empty, the weight it held on my chest became an old friend. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat when I remember the things I did to Eli when I was Jessica.
"Julia doesn't love you Eli. No one could love you!" I screamed at Eli while Julia held his hand tight. I punched her in the stomach and she hit the floor sobbing and he turned on me, kicking me in my back and yelling at me. I laughed and grabbed a handful of his hair and slammed him into the lockers before digging my red stiletto heel into his thigh and walking off.
My pager went off as my memory ended and I jumped up, running down the hall of the hospital and down the stairs before turning the corner and slamming into Eli's door, opening it quickly. "Is something wrong?" I ask panicked.
"No, nothing's wrong I just wanted to talk to you, Jade. There are some things I need to ask you, and given what you've done, I deserve an answer." I nod and take a seat next to his bed.
"Alright…have at me, what is it you want to know?"
"Where is your family? I heard you whisper that this hospital is your home…why is it that way?" his eyes study my face carefully and I keep my expression calm, my voice cool like ice.
"My parents tried to kill me when I changed my ways, my look…when I changed myself. They wanted the perfect daughter and Jade didn't fit the description. Mom laced my food with poison, dad tried to smother me with a pillow in my sleep. My own brother flew here from Australia and signed papers to give me my independence. After that I came here and begged for them to let me…you know? The details aren't important, just that my parents tried to kill me." I dipped my head forward so my hair covered my face and I looked at Eli through the curtain.
"Your parents made you be the way you were? That's…awful…" he stares at me with a mix of fear and pity. I nod slowly and sigh.
"What else do you want to know?"
"What time is it?"
"It's 3:30, Eli. You need your rest. I'm just a button click away if you need me. Your dad said he and your mother will be here later. You don't want to be groggy." I laugh lightly and make my way back to the door, but he grabs my wrist.
"Not yet. I have more questions, and some I know Cece will ask you." I nod and take my seat once more and motion for him to continue. "Why did you hate me so much when you were Jessica?" his words hit me in my heart and I wince from the harshness in them.
"I hated you because you were with your girlfriend. That you were…who you wanted to be and could be with who you wanted. You had freedom while I had to date football players and be the head cheerleader and…" my voice breaks and I rub at my eyes. "Be the school whore, because that's what I was told to do."
"You had the worst reputation…you know that don't you?" I nod weakly and he smiles a little. "But now you can be who you want. You're free, Jade." I shake my head and stare at him, his innocence amazing.
"There are people who background check me if I get too noticeable. Teachers…students…I had one teacher pull me into his office and tell me that if I brought my poison to Degrassi he would expose my past to the whole school and make it so I couldn't show my face in town." Eli growled under his breath and clenched his fists. "Eli, deep breaths it's not good for your health to get so worked up. I'll drug you if I find it necessary. I don't want to, but I will."
"Tell me one more thing?" I nod and brush my hair from my eyes. "Are you ok with not having a home?" I shake my head and sigh.
"To be honest I hate it. I live in a closet but the people are nice." I smile a little bit and stand and make my way back to the door. "Good night Eli." He yawns and waves to me as I shut the door behind me.