Groggily waking up at 3:00 am to the wails of a newborn through the baby monitor, Blair rustles herself out of the silk sheets of the bed and trudges down the hall, trying not to disturb Chuck's much-needed sleep.

Audrey, the ever-adventurous 2 month old, who is of course named after Blair's idol, Audrey Hepburn, continued to wail profusely much to the dismay of Blair. Knowing exactly what would calm her daughter down, Blair pulled out her phone just loud enough for Audrey's room to be filled with the tune of "Moon River" and began to sway with Audrey in time with the music. Swaying and rocking Audrey back and forth, Blair took this intimate time to enjoy the little bundle of joy wrapped tightly within her arms by observing Audrey's features: from Audrey's perfect porcelain skin that was the same shade as Blair's, to Audrey's precious coffee eyes that personified her father. Blair wished Audrey would not grow up and have those gleaming eyes filled with tears like her or with the cold and harshness that Chuck often possessed, though.

By the time "Moon River" came to end, Audrey was fast asleep on Blair's shoulder, her cute little fingers seeming to reach out to the stars in symbolism to her future. Sharing a silent chuckle with herself as she placed Audrey back in her crib, Blair couldn't believe at how far she had come from the bitchy Queen B at the Met steps to now – a mother. Motherhood had been far from her mind since the whole … Louis fiasco… but as she embraced it now with all of the joys and the struggles, she couldn't think of anything else but to be the best mother she can be in the eyes of her daughter.

Before leaving, in the softest whisper, Blair says,

"False alarms and false starts

All made better by the sound of your heart

All the pain of the last time

I prayed so hard it was the last time

The most amazing feeling I feel

Words can't describe the feeling, for real

Baby, I paint the sky blue

My greatest creation was you"

Instead of returning to bed, as she no longer felt sleepy, Blair wandered through the oversized house Chuck was insistent on buying. Though Blair grew up in the lavish extravagance the UES had to offer, she immediately scoffed at its size but eventually relented because this was Chuck of course, anything less than grandeur would be beneath him. Even after almost two years, Chuck was still very much Chuck. Of course in the beginning when Blair first proclaimed betting all-in, Chuck really tried to be there. He took time from trying to regain Bass Industries to actually hold a conversation with her and listening to Blair with his undivided attention and the grand gestures were ever present, once again. Like all good things though, they must eventually come to an end, which in their case was a measly three months later, when fall rolled around. The arguments and games returned, as well as the extended business trips Chuck partook in. Instead of making matters worse, Blair decided to put all her energy into Waldorf Designs. When Blair reluctantly gave Chuck the news of an impending baby Bass, he seemed bewildered, but not in a scared yet joyous way, more like resentment. Returning home from work the next evening, Chuck proposed in such a lavish way that Blair would be an idiot to turn him down. For a moment she actually hesitated but accepted anyways because this is what she has always wanted. As Blair questioned Chuck on his sudden proposal, his only response was

"It would be good for potential investors to see that Chuck Bass is settling down and starting a family. We are ChuckandBlair, BlairandChuck, the inevitable."

Walking down the corridors of their Paris home and glancing at the 10 other rooms that were desolate, feeling a rush of cold air sweep through her body at its emptiness, thoughts plagued Blair adding uneasiness to the coldness that stiffened her body.

This isn't right. I have everything I have always dreamt of – a home. A house is certainly not a home, but those living in the house are my home… or at least what I thought was my home, with Chuck. ChuckandBlair. BlairandChuck. The inevitable. And now with Audrey, my life is complete… so why am I not happier?

As if God was trying to tell her something without having it spelled in block letters for her, there sat on her study was his letter.

Of course.

Hopefully Chuck didn't happen to chance upon the letter this evening, but she didn't really care at this point. Reviewing Dan's words over and over again, she needed to get her own words off her chest. Knowing she couldn't scream at the top of her lungs like she wanted to, Blair opted for a more reasonable way to express herself, in a way she could connect with Dan, through writing a letter. As she began, Blair caught her marvelous Harry Winston engagement ring glistening in the light of her study and suddenly the ring felt very heavy on her finger, so in one swift motion she removed it and stored it in her drawer during the duration of writing her letter.

Dan,

Yes, I know I'm using your first name as I'm writing this letter so don't even think about rolling your eyes, though you probably have already. Your letter really touched me and I really need to get my words out to you in this letter, which will showcase the truth and if you continue to read this letter, no matter how you feel by the end, it will still be the truth. You deserve that much from me at least, which is also why you deserve to be acknowledged by your first name in this letter to state how serious I am.

Minutes prior writing this to you Dan, Audrey, my daughter, was crying her pretty little head off. I figured out early on that the only way to soothe her is to sway with her while "Moon River" played. Our song. My daughter went to a blissful dreamland while listening to our song, Dan.

In your letter, you asked me a simple question and that was if I ever thought about you. My answer, as simple as it is, holds so much truth.

Yes…

No matter how things between us went down, I still think about you and the fact that I do care what you say though we always disagree and bicker, the fact I want to talk to you in person as well, and the fact that as much as I find your muppet hair annoying, I would love to rake my fingers through them, you Williamsburg Weasel. Like you said in your letter, you wished things were different… me too… but we both know that we can't turn back Father Time, as much as we would like to.

Dan, you apologized in your letter so I think it is my turn to apologize though I know this is long overdue. Yes, this version of Blair, who is now a mother, is going to apologize. As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility. I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me so I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done and things that have not occurred yet, and the things I don't want to take responsibility for.

I'm sorry for the times I left you home alone.

I'm sorry for the times that I had to go.

I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know that you were sitting home just wishing we could go back to when it was just you and me.

I'm sorry for the times I would neglect.

I'm sorry for the times I disrespect.

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done.

I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware that you can't sleep at night when I am not there.

I'm sorry for the things that I did not say, like how you are the best thing in my world and how I'm so proud to call you my love.

I understand that there are some problems and I am not too blind to know, all the pain you kept inside you, even though you might not show.

If I can apologize for being wrong, then it's just a shame on me.

I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

If I'm being honest, really honest with myself, there was never a day since I made my decision that I did not think of you, Dan. There was even a part of me, okay, a big part of me that wished I was engaged to you and that you are Audrey's father.

I care deeply about you and I know that however you feel, you still care about me – the letter you wrote proves it. However, I knew we couldn't stay together as long as your insecurities about Chuck were present. Being near me or just the fact that you loved me so much was putting both of us at risk. So, I used defense mechanisms and plausible deniability to lie to you. I was mean, callous, and completely disrespectful of your feelings. I did everything I could to you so you would hate me (and I know it worked), because I know that's the only way you could ever stay away from me and, in turn, from danger: I had broken your heart to save you, needing to be cruel to be kind. You gave me your whole heart and rarely asked for anything in return Dan and I really hope you don't regret that. All I did was end up grieving you far worse than any of the schemes and games Chuck and I played. Again… I'm sorry.

Well, writing this long-winded letter has left me in tears, I've even spotted a couple of drips on the paper and in order to spare the rest of this letter and myself, I will leave you with one final, truthful, and most important thought.

I know I couldn't say those three words that day at your loft after you did, honestly, because I was scared as hell, but I want you to know that I had always felt it.

You need to believe that I mean this…

I LOVE YOU…

I,

BLAIR WALDORF,

LOVE YOU,

DAN HUMPHREY!

Blair

Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, Blair stuffed the letter to a blue envelope and wrote Dan's name on the front with her eloquent writing. She contemplated her next move. Grasping the envelope with shaky hands, which carried the letter with the words of having her heart on her sleeve… Blair nearly ripped it up… but after several minutes of thought passing, she just couldn't bear to do it.

After a split second, Blair made a decision.

She vowed on the letter she had just poured her heart and soul into that she would find Dan. As much as Blair knew he did not want to be found, she needed to see him face-to-face and hand deliver this letter to him. Knowing there was a huge chance of him rejecting her, Blair risked the humiliation because she wanted, no, needed this.

Somehow, someway, Blair Waldorf was going to scour the Earth's surface to find Dan Humphrey.