Ch.1

3 years post Z.R. - June

Kallen rounded the last corner and within a few short strides stood before the door to Zero's office. Pausing she took a moment to center herself before rapping sharply on the heavy oak door.

"It's fine, Kallen," she muttered. "If it was an emergency he would have called you. It's not a big deal."

Except . . . he knew that she always checked in with him first thing when her shift began, so why would he leave word at the front desk specifically requesting that she come see him as soon as she arrived?

"Enter." The command was slightly muffled by the thick wood, but she heard it clearly enough and swung the door open, stepping inside and closing it behind her.

"You wanted to see me?"

He was seated at his desk, surrounded by haphazard stacks of paperwork that seemed totally out of keeping with his personality; certainly out of keeping with his assumed persona of Zero. Apparently his work load had gotten away from him again. She wasn't a secretary or anything, but she still wished he'd tell her when things were getting to be too much. At least she might be able to help him delegate some of his tasks.

"Ah, Kallen." He looked up and pushed the document he'd been perusing away. "Yes."

It was only then that she noticed he was wearing his mask. A familiar hollow feeling settled in her chest.

It was still so strange to hear Zero's voice coming from the man she knew to be Suzaku. She knew it was just a voice synthesizer, but still, it always made her heart pick up speed for just an instant before she remembered. Even after all this time it still sent a pang through her.

"Take that off," she said quietly.

"Oh." Zero reached up and unclasped the side lock, pulling the mask off and shaking out his hair, becoming only Suzaku once again. "Sorry about that. I never know when someone might come in." He set the mask off to the side, still within easy reach. Kallen's eyes followed it, lingering with an all too familiar grief. He hated that look in on her face, lingering behind her eyes even when she was smiling. It always left him wishing he could say something to take it away, and feeling awkward because he knew nothing he could do or say would do so.

After a moment Kallen seemed to shake herself free of the demons of memory and her eyes, clear once more, turned to him as she sauntered forward and leaned against his desk. "What's up?"

"Oh, right." He shifted a little in his chair. It had seemed like a good idea when Nunnally and he had discussed it, but suddenly, with her standing right in front of him, he wasn't sure how to bring it up. "Ah . . ." He scratched the back of his head self-consciously.

"Suzaku."

He winced at the warning in her tone.

"Right, well . . ." Drawing this out would only make it worse. Besides, it wasn't a big deal. Really. It was just so outside the norm for them. "I was thinking." He looked up at her and she was watching him expectantly from across his desk. "We should go on a vacation, Kallen. Get away." He waved a hand ambiguously. There. That hadn't been so bad.

Except . . .

Except that she had the oddest expression on her face. She looked a touch confused, and a little suspicious actually. He shifted uncertainly in his seat. Suspicious? Why suspicious? He went over his words in his head. No, perfectly innocent. There wasn't anything he was supposed to be doing in the near future she might think he was trying to get out of, was there? He couldn't think of anything.

As he was wracking his brain for a plausible reason behind that look, she suddenly spoke.

"This isn't an indecent proposal is it, Suzaku?" She propped one hand on her hip. "Because let me tell you right now—"

That stopped Suzaku cold and heat flooded his face. "What?" He flailed, sputtering, "NO! Of course not."

She raised a brow, expression shifting from suspicion to clear amusement.

Realizing he was only making things worse, Suzaku drew in a calming breath, calling on his years of martial arts training to bring himself to calm focus. "No," he reiterated. "I just thought— I mean, wouldn't it be nice to get away from all this?" His sweeping gesture encompassed his desk, the office, the mask. "Don't you ever want to be somewhere where we can just be us again?"

Her expression softened and she sat against the edge of his desk. "Of course." Sometimes she forgot how hard it must be for him. Forgot that he couldn't be himself, that he was always on stage, could never be Suzaku Kurarugi because Suzaku Kurarugi was dead. All he was was Zero now, except when they were alone.

"It was Nunnally's idea, actually," he confessed. "She thought it would be good for the three of us to take some time to ourselves." To remember, he wanted to add, but was afraid to. Kallen had recovered from her loss –their loss– well. She'd finished school, found a place for herself and her mother, seamlessly worked her way into Zero's operations. She'd learned to smile and laugh and let go. But there was still an edge of sadness to her that had not been there before, a sorrow dwelling in the back of her eyes that only showed when she let her guard down.

"Alright."

The quiet acquiescence startled him a bit.

"What?"

"I said alright." Clear blue eyes met his steadily. "It's a good idea. We should do it." Her gaze shifted past him, out the window, and he gave her a few moments to contemplate. Truthfully, he needed those moments to reorganize his own thoughts a bit. He hadn't expected her to capitulate so quickly: she was a borderline workaholic.

"So, when?" she finally asked, gaze shifting back to his.

He shrugged. "A few days. Maybe Friday. Will that give you time to wrap things up here?"

"I think I can manage in three days. When will we be back?"

"I'm not really sure. We haven't had a moment to ourselves since this whole mess began, maybe not since the Black Rebellion. It'd be nice to take a couple weeks, maybe three."

Her brows shot up. "Three whole weeks?"

"If we can manage it. We'd have to come back in case of emergency, of course, but we've got phones. And capable subordinates," he reminded her. "We should be fine."

She worried her lower lip and for a moment he thought she might change her mind, might refuse, but then she nodded.

"Alright. Well, if we're leaving in a few days I've got things to get settled." She stood, but then paused to look back at him expectantly.

"Oh, right." Sometimes he still forgot that she wasn't just Kallen and he wasn't just Suzaku. They weren't classmates, or casual acquaintances, or even enemies any more. She was a soldier and he was her superior. "We're through here. Dismissed."

She gave a brisk nod in answer and then crossed the room at a clipped pace.

Suzaku watched her go and was grateful it had gone so well. Now if only he could be so lucky come Friday. Rubbing at his eyes wearily, he reached for his mask and slipped it back over his head before turning, resigned, back to his paperwork. He wished he was certain he'd made the right decision.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

"Oh, the lake is just beautiful, isn't it?" Nunnally exclaimed as Suzaku settled her into her wheelchair. It never ceased to amaze Kallen that a girl who had gone through so much hardship could have such a cheerful view of the world.

Suzaku laughed lightly in response. "Well, it's the beginning of summer, so I'd hope so."

"Oh, Suzaku," Nunnally scolded. "You'd say that no matter what season it was, wouldn't you?"

"You caught me."

Their playful banter reminded Kallen of their time together at Ashford Academy and she smiled before the pleasant remembrance was overshadowed by more immediate recollections and longings. Lelouch had made her promise they'd go back to school when it was all over – a promise she had kept even though he hadn't.

"You coming, Kallen?"

Her head whipped toward Suzaku at the mild question.

"Uh, right. Sorry." She reached down to grab their bags. "I was just . . . thinking."

If Suzaku had any speculations as to what exactly she was thinking about, he mercifully kept them to himself.

"Hey, you don't have to carry all those," Suzaku protested. "I'll come get them after I've settled you and Nunnally in."

"It's okay, I've got them."

Suzaku began to respond, but then merely shook his head. If there was one thing he'd learned in life it was that you couldn't argue with Kallen Kouzuki.

"Hmph." Kallen nodded in satisfaction and hurried to catch up with them. "So," she began, coming up beside them. "What is this place again?"

"It was our summer home a long, long time ago." Nunnally sounded a little wistful, though perhaps they were both just attributing their own emotions to her. "When Britannian lands became forfeit it became property of the USJ, and Lady Kaguya said she thought it suited me."

Kallen and Suzaku exchanged smiles over Nunnally's head. Nunnally was so innocent that sometimes it was difficult to remember she was now a young lady of seventeen rather than the naïve fourteen-year-old who had once been so dear to Lelouch.

The grounds truly did suit Nunnally. Large, spacious, open, filled with wildflowers and wildlife. It was innocent, beautiful, peaceful and alive. Suzaku was very glad it had survived everything Japan had been through. It was good, right, that Nunnally should have this place.

Looking down at the top of her head he found himself once again amazed at all she had endured, and all she had to bear even now. Immediately upon the death of Lelouch, Nunnally had been named Regent of the Empire of Britannia. With the advent of democracy she was more of a figurehead now, but she was quite politically active. It kept them from seeing once another as much as he might like, but he had ordered Schneizel (still operating under Lelouch's Geass order) to remain by her side, and he took comfort in the knowledge that she was not alone.

"Well, it is beautiful," Kallen said, tipping her head back to look up at the sky. "And big." She dropped her gaze back to the enormous white house that loomed before them. "I don't think I've seen a house like that since . . ." she shook her head, "well, I'm not sure I've seen one like that ever – except in pictures."

Nunnally giggled. "It's bigger than Suzaku's mansion then?"

"Oh," Suzaku interjected, "it's definitely larger than the Zero Residence. And I bet it isn't over half offices like that behemoth is."

Both young women laughed then, Nunnally's bell-like chime joining with the slightly deeper tones of Kallen's chuckles, and Suzaku smiled. Nunnally had been right: this was just what they all needed.

"Well, shall we take on the beast?" Kallen swung one hand, heavy laden with luggage, toward the house.

Suzaku gave her a wink, but addressed his next question to the girl below him. "Whaddya say, Nunnally? Ready to challenge that monster?"

Nunnally giggled once more. "Let's do it, Sir Kurarugi," she teased.

"As my Lady commands. Knights!" He looked to Kallen. "Go forth!"

They ran the remaining distance to the door, their efforts hampered by laughter all the way. Kallen stopped at the door, turning to ask where the key was, but was stopped when the door swung open.

"Sayoko!" Nunnally exclaimed happily.

The former ninja and pseudo-member of the Black Knights bowed respectfully, though the warm smile she bestowed upon them belied her formal servant's attitude.

"My Lady, Nunnally," the woman said, stepping back to allow them entry.

"Sayoko," Kallen remarked as the woman reached to take their luggage. "I didn't know you were still around." Realizing how rude that sounded, Kallen flushed. "I mean— what I meant to say was, of course you're still around, but— and— Nunnally . . ."

Finally, Sayoko took pity on her. "I remained with my Lady Nunnally after the death of Master Le— of Lelouch," she quickly corrected herself. "My lady retained a small staff to attend you all during your stay here. They are all very trustworthy," she assured Kallen as the young woman cast a glance at Suzaku.

"Thank you, Sayoko," Nunnally interjected warmly. "If you'd just take our things up, I'm sure Kallen, Suzaku, and I would enjoy some tea in the parlor." She reached to lay a hand lightly on Sayoko's arm as the Japanese woman turned to comply. "You should come join us when you're finished."

"Thank you, my Lady."

"Um, you ladies don't really need me around do you?" Suzaku asked as the former ninja made her way up the grand staircase. "Tea parties aren't really my thing."

"Suzaku, you drink tea all the time," Nunnally protested.

Backing away with his hands up disarmingly, Suzaku smiled apologetically. "Proper Japanese green tea, Nunnally. Not that fancy flavored stuff. Jasmine and chamomile and mint." He gave a mock shudder. "I don't think I could take it."

"Oh, let him go, Nunnally," Kallen remarked casually. "He's obviously hiding something from us. I say let him." But she was looking at him with that expression that said he'd answer to her later. Well, if things went as he hoped she'd find out soon enough anyway.

Taking his chance, he turned and began jogging off before Nunnally could object. "Thank you!" he called, waving back at them.

As he closed the front door he thought he heard Kallen snort indelicately, followed by a low exclamation that sounded suspiciously like "men."

He shook his head as he made his way down the path toward the lake.

It took him a few minutes to find the spot he was looking for –he hadn't been here in a very long time after all– but when he did, he found the person he was hoping to meet already there and in the company of one other. But he had expected that.

"Lelouch."

The young man with unusual amethyst eyes and black hair long enough it would have obscured the jewel colored orbs had it been just a bit fuller, did not turn at his call, instead merely looking to his companion. His companion, a slim young woman (though Suzaku knew she was not young at all, only appeared to be so) with long apple green locks and golden eyes answered the gaze with a steady nod and then rose, slipping past Suzaku with a nod of acknowledgement, which he returned.

"I'll be around if you need me," she remarked blandly as she headed down the path, presumably to wander the grounds. He did not remind her not to go up to the house yet.

Lelouch waited until C.C. was out of sight, eyes following her path into the distance, before turning to settle on Suzaku.

"Suzaku." He had the same dramatic flair as always, the same commanding presence that he only seemed to lose when intentionally playing the fool. "It's good to see you again."

"And you." It was still somewhat surprising to find that he truly meant it. Shirley was correct, after all, he supposed: nothing was unforgivable save what one chose not to forgive. And whatever else Lelouch had been and done, he was a friend.

"Join me?" Lelouch offered.

Suzaku settled to the ground beside Lelouch, raising one knee to rest his elbow on it as he gazed out over the water. For a time, they simply sat in companionable silence, each lost in his own thoughts. It was Lelouch who finally broke the quiet.

"You've matured," he remarked. "The twenties look good on you."

In typical fashion, Suzaku ignored the compliment. "And you, you really haven't changed at all, have you?"

"Geass." Lelouch shrugged.

There seemed to be nothing to say to that, and so Suzaku allowed the conversation to die, lapsing back into silence. Suzaku closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sounds of nature around them. The chirping of birds, the buzzing of insects, the occasional blips of water as a fish surfaced or a water fowl submerged. Ordinarily these would have been soothing sounds, but Suzaku took little comfort in them today. He was about to take a risk –had already begun it, but this moment would commit him– and he was a little uncertain. Still, it was the right thing to do, of that he had no doubt. And so he would do it.

"I brought along an old friend," he said, the words heavy with meaning.

Lelouch looked up from the piece of grass he'd been twirling in his fingers. "Suzaku," he began in an admonishing tone. There was no doubt he knew what Suzaku meant – who he meant.

Suzaku ignored him, pressing on. "She deserves to know the truth, Lelouch." There was a quiet pause as he let that sink in. "She still loves you, you know. Even after everything."

Lelouch's chin dropped to his chest in what Suzaku might almost have called dejection, or perhaps shame. "I don't deserve her love."

"No, you don't," Suzaku returned bluntly and Lelouch looked up at him, an expression of mild surprise etched on his face. Suzaku turned his gaze back out over the lake, leaning back on his hands, "But that's not really the point, is it? She deserves this chance." He turned sharp eyes to meet Lelouch's gaze. "So give it to her."

"Suzaku—"

"You love her?" Suzaku broke in.

Lelouch waited a long moment before giving a reluctant nod.

"Then tell her. She's waited long enough." Suzaku waited patiently while Lelouch studied the long blade of wild grass in his hand.

It was strange to watch him because it was not. Lelouch was just as he had always been. If Suzaku closed his eyes he could imagine they were seventeen again, back before the Black Rebellion, before Kamine island, before he'd known what Lelouch had become, and they were just two friends enjoying an afternoon together. It was shocking how easy it was to let the more recent past and the present slip away and live in that single span of time where they were not enemies, were not yet co-conspirators, had not both died to themselves for the sake of a better world.

Of course, Lelouch was seventeen. Would always be seventeen. Physically, at least.

If it was strange now, when he was only twenty, how strange would it be in ten years, in twenty? How would it be for Lelouch who had to watch the world pass him by?

"Where is she?"

Suzaku allowed himself the smallest of smiles. He'd known Lelouch wouldn't be able to walk away. Not knowing she was waiting. Lelouch had always lived his life for those he loved rather than himself – even if the way he went about it wasn't always the best.

"In the house with Nunnally. But I'm sure she'd understand."

"Yes," Lelouch agreed. "Nunnally has always been more than understanding."

"She was so happy you were alive. Even if she might never get to see you again."

"Yes." Barely a whisper. After a moment of silence, Lelouch stood to his feet, brushing down the back of his pants to loose any unwanted plant matter. He looked down at Suzaku who was still staring out over the water. "Are you coming?" he asked softly.

"Nn. I think I'll enjoy the quiet for a bit." Suzaku paused thoughtfully. "Why don't you have Sayoko bring Nunnally down to join me?" he suggested, as though it were a careless, casual idea rather than a clear intent.

Lelouch's eyes softened. "Thank you," he murmured.

Suzaku smiled, but did not comment, and a moment later he heard Lelouch's boots swish through the long grass.

"Lelouch," he called quietly, and the sound of steps ceased. "I didn't tell her. I didn't want to get her hopes up, or take away your choice." Finally, he looked back to see amethyst eyes studying him inscrutably.

"Thank you," Lelouch repeated, and then he was gone, moving up the path toward the house.

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A/N: Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! Because someone asked: there are 14 chapters to this story, with an additional 2 alternate endings - so 16 total. Also, because people seemed concerned, this story is finished in its entirety. I do not start posting a story until I've finished it. I will post once a week for 16 weeks, so if you prefer to wait until the story is fully posted that should be roughly the first week of October.

Thanks for reading!

reenas-as