Prologue: Introductions I
I don't have much choice but to follow in Hikari's bare footsteps and enter the cafeteria, where I spy several other students dotted around. The cafeteria is quite expansive, and like everything else in the hospital, the dominant colour is a pearly white, which when mixed with the fluorescent neon strips on the ceiling leads to a lot of glare. A number of the smaller tables set out are occupied, but the much larger table in the middle remains empty. Around the back of the cafeteria stand several counters and shelves, all lined with items of food, and I spy Hikari in the process of ransacking them. There's a door at the back which I assume leads to the kitchen. At least we're not about to starve to death in this seemingly empty hospital.
I'm aware that I'm just standing in the doorway staring into the distance, and even more aware of a lull in conversation as other people turn to stare at me. I give a little wave to assure everyone I'm not a threat and seat myself at the nearest table. There's a very foreign-looking girl sat across from me who appears to be sketching something on a piece of paper. Her olive skin and dark hair with gold and silver streaks suggest her origins lie in a far-flung country, as does her propensity for green and brown gear. She seriously looks like she's been plucked out of a jungle.
"And this bit goes here… Oh?" She looks up, finally noticing my presence, and doesn't seem too dismayed to find some random guy appearing in front of her. She sure doesn't sound like she's from around here, either. Some sort of Hispanic accent is my best guess. "Were you here from Hope's Peak Academy too?"
"Yeah," I say, getting straight down to business. "Name's Shinji Yoshida. I'm the Ultimate Insomniac. And you are?" She adjusts her seating position, pushing the sheet of paper aside for a moment while she introduces herself.
"They call me Dulce-Corazon Adora, the Ultimate Cartographer," she says with pride. "Nice to meet you." What even is that name? Did her parents knock over a Scrabble board and decide the resulting jumble of letters were the perfect name? It's unique, I'll grant them that much. My new device pings again, and consulting it doesn't really tell me much more about her, although in the image provided, I spot some sort of silver pendant hung around her neck. The image is too small to tell what it is, though.
"So that drawing, that's a map, right?" I ask. It's my duty to pretend to be interested in the affairs of others at a time like this.
"Yep," she confirms, smiling all the while. "Which way you come from, Shinji?"
"Uhhh…" I have no idea what direction it was, I was too busy focusing on my arm and hoping it wouldn't fall off. "Is there a waiting room on that map? I seem to remember coming from one." Dulce-Corazan (I can't keep using that full name, that's just ridiculous) leans over the table, pencil outstretched, consulting her map of wisdom.
"Oh yeah, I see it!" she says with enthusiasm, striding around the table while pulling the map towards me. Just from a glance, I can tell there's an incredible amount of thought and detail going into this map. Everything is labelled in loopy handwriting, written in her native language, meaning nobody else in here will have any hope of reading it.
"See, we're here in the cafeteria now," she tells me, placing the pencil down on the exact table of the cafeteria we occupy. "Now, sounds like you came from right the way over here…" She draws a precise line from where we're sat all the way back along the corridors, which I note is labelled 'Los Dormitorios', right the way back to the waiting room I was in before, somehow managing to pinpoint the exact place I woke up in. She may well be the Ultimate Navigator too.
"Yeah, that looks about right," I say. "So wait, the corridor I passed through is a dormitory?" Do you even get those in hospitals? Maybe she just means they're private rooms. Spanish isn't one of my stronger languages.
"You got it. Relax, though, everything's fine. They'll probably come let us go soon." Whoever they are, they're being seriously stealthy. I didn't see another soul in that corridor, or the creepy waiting room. "Oh yeah, before I forget, there's someone else I can introduce you to. Come on, vamonos!" Dulce (screw it, I'm sticking with that) stands upright, sweeping the map and the hat up off the table and running over to another table. Do I really have any choice but to follow?
At the other table, Dulce seems to be shaking someone by the shoulder. I go round the other side of the table to get a better look at the second person; it appears to be another girl, this time adorned in a green pyjama one-piece with white polka-dots. I take it the nightcap that's lying on the table is hers too. After a few seconds of gently shaking her, Dulce backs off as the sleeping girl stirs at last, her shoulder-length white hair falling across her face. She very slowly brushes it away with her hands and rubs her eyes before opening them and seeing me.
"Nayumi, this is Shinji. He's uh… what were you again?"
"Insomniac," I answer without hesitation. Is my talent really all that relevant right now?
"Oh… hello. I'm Nayumi Miyamoto…" Aaaaaaaaand she's out like a light. She must've only been awake for about fifteen seconds before nodding off again. Well then, looks like I'm going to have to consult the tablet for this. Nayumi's page automatically boots, and when I see what her talent is, I'm incredulous.
'Nayumi Miyamoto: Ultimate Sleeper.' You have got to be kidding me. What are the chances of someone who is literally my exact opposite ending up here? That's some freakish coincidence right there. I doubt I'll get much more out of her, so I ask Dulce for any interesting titbits she can provide.
"Well, she didn't have much to say to me, but apparently her dad's famous or something," she tells me, absent-mindedly twirling her hair around her pencil. "She seems nice though."
"I guess so," I concur, although it's difficult to judge someone after half a sentence. I'll have to come back to her later I suppose.
"You ain't met many of the others yet, have you?" Dulce asks. I'm forced to concede that I haven't, having come straight here from the waiting room. "Alright, well there's a coupla guys in here too, so feel free to go say hi!" Now, usually I wouldn't comply, but if I'm gonna be spending all my time around these people then I suppose it's better for them to know who I am. I head in the general direction that Dulce points and spy the two guys she was referring to. One of them looks metal as hell and the other one's swinging his arms around like some sort of lunatic. Think I know which one I'd rather talk to first.
The tall guy's staying relatively still so I take some time to just observe him. His hair is in a long black braid, which is a bit more reserved than I expected given his clothing. He's got the usual hardcore thing going on, with his ripped jeans and his mahogany jacket, but he has a ton of accessories too. Fingerless gloves, headphones, a scarf and sunglasses? How do you even keep track of all that? He does look a bit scary, so I approach him carefully and introduce myself in as polite a manner as I can. He flashes me a smile and urges me not to worry.
"Name's Haruki Shinozaki, the Ultimate Singer. Nice to meet you, man." He seems very non-threatening all of a sudden. I check my little device and realise I've heard of this guy before. If I recall, he did a couple of songs with some light music group frontlined by this really weird chick. They didn't last long after that, but this guy's gone on and obviously done pretty well for himself. I can't help but notice him giving me a very concerned look, though.
"You alright, dude? You don't look it," he observes, and while it's nice that he's worried about my welfare, I've definitely felt worse. The walls haven't even started rippling yet.
"I'm an insomniac, I'm used to it," I assure him, and that seems to calm him somewhat.
"Oh, that's good to hear," he says. "Glad to see you don't let that get you down." Well, if I let it get me down, I sure as hell wouldn't be here right now, would I? Unless they let average scruffy students in. Oh wait, they do.
"Just means I have a lot more time on my hands is all," I say.
"Good attitude to have." He folds his arms, not in a particularly defiant way, just probably out of habit, although I do feel as though he's about to give a speech. "You only get so much time on this Earth, so use it wisely. And that applies twice as much to you, Shinji. Make sure you keep yourself occupied. Allow yourself to grow, and most importantly of all, have a goal. Shoot for the stars! You're one of the elite, and you're only gonna get one shot, so don't waste it…"
"Hey, Haruki, who's this?" The swinging guy from earlier is here, and he's dressed like my dad. Except my dad wouldn't be seen dead wearing a tan polo shirt. The trousers seem to fit though. The guy's hair is the same colour as Haruki's but much shorter and neater, and his eyes are a shade of green.
"This is Shinji Yoshida, the Ultimate Insomniac," Haruki says patiently. The newbie starts grinning and rubbing his hands together, rocking on his heels.
"Ohohoho, I've never met an insomniac before! I'm Akira Ueda! Hope you like golf, because, well…" That device of mine chimes once again, and to nobody's surprise, it turns out Akira is the Ultimate Golfer. This is confirmed when he spends the next ten minutes explaining golf to me. It's the refresher course I never knew I needed. I zone out for a while and when I properly start listening again, he's in the middle of an anecdote. "This one time, I hit it so hard nobody even knew where it went, and we searched ALL night for it! Of course, the next morning, it turned out it was in the one place nobody thought to look, in the bottom of the hole, so I had to go all the way back to the clubhouse and buy every single person in that clubhouse champagne. Talk about having an albatross round your neck…" Two things, one, does this guy ever shut up, and two, what's an albatross got to do with anything?
"You lost me when you were talking about the quality of the green," I say, recalling a very brief snippet just before every word started becoming clumped together in an awful foggy mess of confusion.
"No worries, man, I'm sure you'll soon come to understand everything there is to know about the world's greatest sport!" That grin of his is slightly unnerving. I can tell he's enthusiastic about golf and everything associated with it, but I can't decide whether his love for the sport is misplaced or not. Time will tell, I suppose. Time that'll drag on even more than usual if he keeps this up. "Now, this old coach of mine, he lost his hand to a crocodile a long time ago, and he apparently taught someone in America with the world's longest shot…" I'm done. There's only so much golf I can take in a day, and that limit had been exceeded by quite some amount.
"We've got all the time in the world to tell stories," I say interrupting Akira before he can get to what he would probably refer to as 'the good part'. "Plus, I've still got other people to meet. Kinda need to do that."
"Alright then," he says, seemingly pretty relaxed about the whole thing. "But if you ever feel the urge to hear the thrilling conclusion, you know where to find me!" Yeah, in all of the places I won't be. I look back towards the Ultimate Singer, hoping for further approval of my decision, and he's just stood there smiling, his headphones over his ears. Clever bastard.
I take a glance at the other table I saw occupied, and to my dismay, Hikari is there talking to some pale girl with long white hair, dressed in a standard-looking school uniform with a red blazer. I have an extremely bad feeling about this. As I approach the table, Hikari points in my direction and the girl stands up as she turns to face me. Her skirt is of the black pleated variety, just above her knees, and she's wearing long socks and brown shoes. Quite a lot of guys might find some appeal in this look, but I've not hit middle-age perversion just yet.
"Oh, so you're the one Hikari here was talking about," she says rather snootily, as though I'm below her. Looks can be deceptive, it would seem. "You look weak. I suppose I'd better introduce myself though. My name is Alicia Arcuarius." I instinctively grab the tablet, and etched upon her face is an expression of disdain at my reliance on technology. Would've helped if she'd actually mentioned being the Ultimate Archer.
"That's not quite the title I was expecting," I say, hoping that somehow I'll be able to salvage this conversation.
"Are you basing that solely off my looks? Because if you are, then you're just like all those other men! It's men like you causing all the problems in this world!" Ouch. That went badly. Can we try that again?
"No, that's not what I meant at all…" Sure, she might look kind of sweet and innocent, but beneath that exterior lies a cold-blooded killer.
"Oh, that's what you men all say! And don't even think about saying 'not all men!' because otherwise, you'll end up with one of my arrows in your chest!" She reaches back towards the table, grabbing a flint arrowhead to demonstrate her point. I don't know if she made that or someone else supplied it. Either way, it looks nasty.
"Hey, Shinji, wassup?" Hikari asks as she joins my side.
"Hikari, you assured me that this man would be a pillar of society, but instead he's just proved my point."
"I did nothing of the sort!" I iterate, raising my hands in protest. "She's the one with the problem, not me."
"So, who's winning?" Hikari asks. I wasn't aware we were supposed to be in competition, but if I had to choose, I'd say Alicia's currently thrashing me.
"Feminism," I answer.
"Huh? But there's nobody by that name here. Is there a third party? Hey, feminism, come out and plaaaaaaaaay!" Hikari crawls underneath the nearest table in search of someone who doesn't exist.
"Sorry about her," I say. "She can be a bit of a handful." Alicia just scoffs and rolls her eyes at me, presumably thinking I've made some sort of misogynistic statement. That's far from what I was going for.
The only verbal response I get is a "hmph!" as she walks away, and I chase after Hikari, who's still crawling under tables and has crumbs in her hair. She's surprisingly quick, and I'm not in the best shape, so I give up on that for the time being and see what food is on offer. They've got a huge assortment here, ranging from traditional Japanese dishes to some stuff on the shelves in English packaging.
I'm a bit concerned about taking anything, but thus far I haven't seen anyone serving. Where is everyone if they aren't here? Pushing this to the back of my mind while I quell my hunger, I pluck a sandwich off the shelf and tuck in, savouring that feeling of nourishment that my body was sorely lacking before. Hopefully this will give me enough energy to last the day without feeling particularly ill. Cheese and cucumber certainly has more flavour to it than the instant ramen I usually eat, at any rate.
"Shinjiiiiiiii!" Hikari yells for my assistance, and I no longer care about the repercussions of stealing hospital food. She's managed to somehow get herself wedged between two tables and a chair, so I'm forced to shove the rest of the sandwich into my mouth and run to her side, pulling the two tables apart so she can get out. In a display of ecstasy and affection, she drapes an arm around my shoulder and starts singing down my ear. Again. Luckily I've got the perfect plan in place.
"Hey, I think I just saw Feminism!" I exclaim, pointing to the cafeteria doorway. She immediately runs off down the corridor after the concept of equal rights for women, and I get a bit of peace and quiet before realising I've got no idea where she's gone, and leaving her unattended like that could go very badly wrong for us all. I take one last look back across the cafeteria, noticing that Alicia is glaring at me while whittling away at one of her arrowheads, and make my way out of the cafeteria after the maelstrom of terror they call the Ultimate Pyrotechnician.
A.N.: Many thanks to everyone who submitted their characters. I wasn't expecting such a huge response, but I'm glad I got it. Of course, unfortunately, the sheer number of submissions I received meant I couldn't take everyone's, and to everyone who didn't make it, I hope you guys find someone who can put your OC to good use. Meanwhile, I should congratulate the lucky fourteen who made it. Without further ado, here's the full cast:
Shinji Yoshida (Ultimate Insomniac): Gazooki (me!)
Hikari Himura (Ultimate Pyrotechnician): IfTimeWasStill
Dulce-Corazon Adora (Ultimate Cartographer): SDHS Otaku
Nayumi Miyamoto (Ultimate Sleeper): SpiritSenpai
Haruki Shinozaki (Ultimate Singer): Shadowplayer360
Akira Ueda (Ultimate Golfer): A. Zarko
Alicia Arcuarius (Ultimate Archer): Alice A.V.D.T. McDowell
Daisuke Kobayashi (Ultimate Critic): ApexUtopia
Eiko Uno (Ultimate Cult Leader): ninjedi
Haru Nishishoka (Ultimate Hero): reven228
Rin Hinamoto (Ultimate Librarian): JokersMaze
Hatoyama Saburo (Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist): Susurruses
Zange Kishima (Ultimate Burglar): VortexOblivion
Nanima Shinogani (Ultimate Internet Star): TheAnimeFreakOutFan
Eizou Nojima (Ultimate Mariner): Unify
Ryusuke Takeyama (Ultimate Bodyguard): KomoriRin
Thanks to all of you once again for sending me such awesome characters, it'll be a pleasure writing this lot. Also special thanks to IfTimeWasStill for helping me wade through the backlog of submissions and ultimately make the right decisions on who stayed and who went. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and stay tuned for more Clinic of Despair!