The Fixer

The Really Stupid, Dumb Idea

There was a sound of ruffling in the other room. At first Katie assumed it was Jade looking for breakfast. That is, until she heard a low male voice telling Jade to "sit". She reached into the nightstand for her Glock 45 and charged it as quietly as possible as she crept down the hall in a white silk night gown. A wall of smell hit her before she could reach the kitchen.

Eggs? Waffles?

Then it dawned on her. Ah, right. Bucky.

He was standing before the stove in the same clothes from the night before with his ball cap backwards to keep the dark hair from his tired eyes. He didn't even look at her before saying, "If someone's gonna shoot me it ought to be a pretty girl that does it."

Katie blushed, remembering the loaded gun in her grip. She discharged the round and put the weapon in the middle of kitchen table before plopping down. Last night was slowly coming back to her. She remembered showing Bucky around before laying in bed and thinking hard on her life.

There were so many things she'd been putting off for Pete. Like, getting a new bed set and painting the kitchen whatever color she wanted. She loved that stupid, selfish man more than she ever wanted to. She always had. In the back of her mind she knew exactly how unhealthy it was to give up everything for a guy. But in some ways she felt all of that time wasn't wasted. Although her mind automatically swerved away from the word 'divorce' she knew it was probably inevitable. It wasn't the first time she caught him in a lie like this, and it wouldn't be the last.

All she could think about were her friends, the ones she always gave advice to. The ones she always called stupid for staying with guys who didn't treat them right, yet here she was. Last night, as she stared at the ceiling, she imagined what would change. She wouldn't live here anymore, in the house she bought with him. She wouldn't be able to file her taxes with him anymore. There were so many major changes when it came to the "D" word that she was afraid to even think about the little things. Like, would she find his hairs around the house? Would she smell his cologne on the clothes hanging in their closet?

It hurt to think about how much might change if she was brave enough to send him those papers. It was so painful that it almost felt like cheating having Bucky here, making her a delicious smelling breakfast.

"So, what's for breakfast Bobby Flay?" She asked her house guest with a big fake smile. He looked at her like she was speaking in baby-babble. "What? You don't know Bobby? The sexy daytime TV chef that all the moms swoon over?" Not even an inkling of recognition passed his face. "Wow. Where have you been for the past decade?" She asked sarcastically as she spun her gun as it balanced on its side.

Bucky focused on the gas stove. If only she knew.

Bucky slid a plate across the table. Katie caught it with her fingertips, eying its contents with her lips bunched in disgust. Two bundles of tin foil sat in the middle of the white plate. She looked up at him for help and he laughed softly.

"Eggs and pancakes: Army style."

Peeling one of the lumpy things open, that awesome smell hit her again. But that's where the awesomeness ended. The contents looked identical. Mushy, brown-ish, and shapeless.

"Which is which?" she asked, somewhat terrified of the little brown monsters staring up at her.

He slid into the seat across from hers. "The eggs are eggs, and the pancakes are pancakes." A blank expression met his. For the first time, potentially ever, he felt self-conscious about his lack of cooking skills. "Just eat it, it's not like I know the difference."

Katie obliged, tentatively at first. Then Bucky watched quietly as she hummed delightfully and rocked back and forth in a little dance of pure bliss.

"Damn boy, you make a mean breakfast. Even if your presentation could use a little help."

After that, silence dropped like a heavy curtain. Only, unlike the night before, this silence felt tense. The 'get out of my house' conversation would surely follow.

Throughout the night, Bucky found himself waking up to new ways to convince Katie to let him stay. It felt wrong to feel that way. But he wasn't sure he could find it in him to care. He didn't want to hear her telling him to leave. Not until he could kill the Hydra bastard who once resided here.

Katie played with the tin foil shell, stabbing it repeatedly with her fork.

Bucky got a much better look at her this morning. She looked incredibly European, yet very obviously an American mutt like him. She had the straight, hard angles of a German but softer curves around the bulge of her high cheekbones of a Pol or Russian with small green eyes. Her hair was dyed blonde, nearly white, which he must have missed the night before. He knew it was fake because the part of her hair closest to her scalp was far darker than the rest. He was unused to looking for dyed hair. People never used to do that. Now fake hair color was the thing girls did. It was baffling how much could change over 70 years.

Katie hummed as Jade sat next to her, awaiting scraps. She smiled and swatted the dog's nose playfully. Her long tail wagged in slow strokes. Bucky eyed her as subtly as possibly as not to be detected.

How could someone want to hurt this girl so badly? Bucky wondered how anyone could expect more from their wife. Katie was completely devoted to her husband; she waited for his return each time he went away without any expectations. She dropped everything she knew, including her family, for him. Maybe it was the distance that made him stray. From where Bucky sat he couldn't finally a physical flaw that would drive a man away. Maybe it was something deeper.

Katie tried not to feel the electricity of Bucky's gaze over her face. It felt like he was searching for something. He was so busy that he hadn't noticed the many times she glanced up at him to remember his face.

Beneath two dark eyebrows sat two deep set, soulful, blue eyes that begged for her trust. Dark, chin length hair was pinned back behind his ears by a red and white baseball cap. He had significant stubble, almost a full beard, growing up his neck and over a strong jaw and dimpled chin. He looked like a man. Everything about him oozed masculinity; from the points of his broad shoulders to the way he appeared comfortable in every situation. He was confident that he belonged wherever he set his feet. She didn't want to think of him as handsome. She didn't do it consciously. It felt so wrong to compare him to Pete. But she couldn't help it, Pete was the only man she ever knew thoroughly enough to notice these kinds of things.

Where Pete was lean, Bucky was bulky. Pete was fully blooded Irish with dark red curls that he kept in a military buzz cut. Bucky's was longer, darker. Pete had freckles speckled all over; Bucky had smooth, almost olive tinted skin. But she wouldn't think of him as handsome. Absolutely not. It was amoral, it was wrong it was... accurate.

The one thing she couldn't seem to get off her mind was how badly she wanted him to stay. But she couldn't. She met him by chance. Things like that never worked out like they did in movies and Nicholas Sparks books. He probably wanted to get back on the road anyway. She wrote herself a little speech in her head so it wouldn't seem so harsh when she asked him where he was going next.

"So," she rocked back in her chair keeping her words straight in her head so she wouldn't say something stupid. "Wanna stay?"

A hand flew to cover her mouth with an audible slap as she stared, horrified disbelief shone behind wide eyes. The chair clattered back to all four legs.

Bucky's eyebrows lifted in surprise. This was way easier than he expected.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm completely crazy. I'm just lonely and, ugh." She buried her face in her arms and flopped over the table, pushing the plate to the side with an elbow. "Ignore this idiot. I'll be here, dying of embarrassment."

"Asking a strange man to move in with you? What would your father say?" The laugh in Bucky's voice made Katie's chest squirm.

"It's the same as craigslist. Or foster care." She assured herself, as if this was a totally normal coping mechanism to ask a total stranger to move in after finding out that her husband was a lying, cheating bastard. What if Pete came home and Bucky was here? Would he think she had been cheating too? Would that screw up the divorce proceedings?

She could feel his eyes on the top of her head as she muttered into her forearms. "The offer stands."

Now Bucky smiled fully. Were things really so different in this time that women had male roommates without the assumption being sex? He wasn't sure.

"Oh, what the heck." He shrugged one shoulder. "Sure."

The blonde mop jerked up and she looked at him, baffled. "For real?"

He looked about the place, then back to Katie, whose face was pure disbelief. "This place is more fun than rail hopping anyway."

She smiled, exposing her teeth. Minus one snaggletooth on the left side, her top teeth were fairly straight.

"Ridiculous requests aside, I do have to warn you. I have a ton of stuff I have to do on base today." Katie started, scratching some gunk off of the barrel of her handgun with the edge of her nail. "It isn't fun getting people on, so I'll probably just leave you here for a bit if you don't mind."

Bucky listened intently. If she left for the day it would give him ample opportunity to turn the place upside down and search for her husband's location then put everything back together before she returned. "Getting on base is a problem?"

"Oh yeah. Big time. They make every person take a picture and they run it through some database before they'll give you a pass..."

Well, that made up Bucky's mind fairly quickly. He wouldn't go to the base. If their security was that advanced he didn't have much of a chance to get on unnoticed. "Yeah, rain check."

Katie showed him where the different pans and dishes were supposed to go and left a few minutes later. Then the fun began.

...

The last thing Katie wanted to do right now was talk to a lawyer. She didn't want to divorce Pete. She loved him. Se loved him ever since she was sixteen. She loved him when he was away and she loved him when he was in bed next to her. She didn't understand what she did wrong. Did he fall out of love? Or maybe he just wasn't fulfilled with their relationship.

Whatever the reason, Katie now had to go have the base send him divorce papers and remove herself from his files.

As she sat across from the civilian worker across the desk, Katie's mouth hung open, refusing to believe what it said on the computer screen.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry."

The already pale face paled further under the light of the computer screen. "This is insane."

"That's what it says, sugar." The civilian woman wasn't terribly supportive.

According to his file, Pete PCSed* to a base in Germany over a year ago.

When he said he was working... Where was he really going? These "deployments" were all fake. According to this file, ever since they moved to North Carolina he was living in Germany.

It was too much to comprehend.

So she did the most logical thing: she called Pete. The tone came for her to leave a message as she paced outside of the main office building. But she couldn't think of anything to say. She couldn't even cry. She was just so ... Angry. Her skin crawled. How was she so thoroughly fooled?

When she got home, before she even entered the house, she slid open the garage, pulled her bike off the wall and pedaled away. The endless clatter of chains was soothingly, as was the sound of her breathing as it became deep and heavy. She went about three miles before turning around and going back home. She needed to hug her dog and vent to Bucky some more.

When she burst through the door, Bucky was on all fours in the middle of the floor playing with Jade by pushing her gently until the dog pounced and bit his hands. It was nice to see someone else play with her for once. The poor thing hadn't seen Pete in months and before that she hadn't seen him in a year. Who knows where he'd been during that time. Katie decided not to think about it.

"What're you dorks doing?" She asked, tossing her keys and bag on the table with a metallic clatter.

Bucky just smiled and let Jade win by rolling onto his back where she lay across his chest and licked his face. "How'd it go?"

He watched the amused look in her eyes dull into frustration.

"Listen to this." She twisted the pamphlet of paper in her hand until it started to tear. Bucky rolled up into a sitting position before jumping to his full height.

She didn't want to stare, but she couldn't help it. This man was the apex of physical fitness. Exemplified by the skull-sized biceps that brushed her upper arm as he pulled out the chair next to hers. She followed the line of his arm with her eyes. His blues were betraying his actions. Though he appeared lofty and happy, they were too intense. They sent sinful shivers down her spine.

Katie fell into the seat and he leaned on the table to listen. "Well, turns out Pete wasn't just lying about his deployment." Bucky's body stilled. Thank God Katie didn't notice as she uncrumpled the paper in her hands. "Apparently he's been living in Germany for three years." She threw her hands in the air. "Can you believe that crap? Germany!"

He could believe it. It made sense if he was Hydra. It didn't make sense to make her move to a new location when he left.

Katie shook her head slowly before propping her head up by cupping her hand over the side of her face. "According to the files, he never in-processed the base I've been going to for three years. He's always lived there." Her eyes grew distant. "What the hell is he up to..."

...

The days went quickly and soon it had been two weeks since Bucky showed up on Katie's doorstep.

"Where ya goin'?" Bucky asked, legs propped up over the arm of the couch, laying deeply in the cushions without taking his eyes off the TV. He took a sip of his Budweiser and glanced at the woman rushing about in the kitchen.

"I have to go to work."

Bucky choked on his beer. "You work?" His head swiveled so he could look out the window. "It's dark. Where are you going?"

Oh, God no. Was she a...

"The hospital. I told you, I'm a mental health nurse. I was taking time off after a patient bit me. Remember?"

He sunk deeper into the couch. He hated forgetting things.

"Yeah." He muttered begrudgingly.

Whether he liked to admit it or not, the idea of Katie leaving his proximity bothered him. If someone had seen him, where he was staying, she could be hurt. But he knew he had nothing to worry about. She was constantly strapped. Whether it was a gun or a knife, she always had something. He once peeked in on her testing out the comfort of a coat with strategically placed pockets for weapons.

"I'm off, see you in the morning. Try to be extra quiet; I usually sleep from nine to two. Thanks for keeping the couch from floating away, I was starting to worry." She rolled her eyes with a half smile as she pulled her sling bag over her shoulder and locked the door.

Bucky flipped through some channels. It was amazing how much he learned about the world this way. A commercial came on flashing with flags. He sighed deeply. It was a commercial for Captain America's new toy. He and his best buddies in the whole world: the Avengers. Not Bucky Barnes. It didn't break his heart, but it certainly stung. It didn't feel right calling him his best friend these days. So much time had passed. They went through such different lives. He often wondered if Steve would turn him in to the police if he just showed up one day. He doubted it. But it bothered him that it was even a possibility.

Bucky thought a lot more deeply than he used to. The future was constantly on his mind. It was never something he put much thought into during the war. He couldn't. He could only think about what was happening in that very moment. He never realized how much it would come back to bite him.

At some point during the night he started scrolling through Katie's laptop. He found papers that were dozens of pages long that contained words that he couldn't spell or pronounce. He found old photos of her as a child with big fat cheeks. There were hundreds of photos of Jade as a pup. Then came the thousands of her husband.

There were pictures from their wedding, her brother's graduation party, and dozens of vacations to tropical places Bucky had never seen before.

Then finally, he found something useful. A document that Katie scanned after she found out about her husband's fake deployment. She had spent that whole morning showing him what a scanner did and why people use it for important papers. This particular page listed his former and current duty stations, along with a few of the locations he was deployed. They were all over the map. Germany, Thailand, Uganda, Austria, Argentina, and New York.

He was currently listed at Rammstein Air Base in Germany. How the hell was Bucky going to get there?

It wasn't until light was blaring across the glossy wood of the table that he realized what time it was. 7:00.

Katie would be home soon, he had to at least pretend to sleep before she got back. So he closed up the computer and placed it back in its spot on the black nightstand next to her bed. He smiled when he saw it wasn't made, or matching. There was a blanket that used to be part of a set with two pillows that were bright colors and sheets that were a checkered pattern. It was like walking into a child's room. There was a picture frame upside down on her dresser. He knew better than to pick it up. It was her wedding photo. He remembered when she woke up in a ball of fury and started throwing every photograph she had of the Hydra operative. He pulled her out of her room by her wrists, forcing her to stomp backwards. Eventually she gave up the fight and simply slumped to the ground without shedding a single tear. Instead she rested against his shins breathing heavily as if she was preparing for another fit. But it didn't come. She hadn't lost it since then. They didn't talk about it.

She also ignored the thick package of papers she received in the mail yesterday.

Bucky stared at the ceiling for a while, waiting to hear her tires crackling over the pavement.

He rubbed his eyes and stretched in bed. His prosthetic arm was not the most comfortable thing to sleep on. He rolled out of bed only to realize it was nearly noon. He scrambled to put on some clothes. He slid into the kitchen to find it empty. Everything was in check. The knives were in the knife block. Colored mixing bowls of different sizes fit into one another next to the stove. He looked through the blinds to check for her car. It was sitting in its spot. He checked her room. It was also empty, but her sheets were moved around and the computer was now sitting on the bed.

He fed Jade and let her out. The sky was overcast, the air thick with heavy mist. It was always hot here. He could hear the distant crackle of tires on pavement. The screeching sound of the garage door told him she was back from wherever she'd been. Bucky met Katie at the side door. She pushed through, nearly hitting him, and pushed his chest away roughly before gripping his T-shirt tightly enough to pop a seam. Then, with a flustered look about her, she released just as rough and strode past.

"How was your morning?" Katie's voice tight as she pulled her hair out of a tight bun that didn't want to unfurl. Her face was red with wet hair clinging desperately to her forehead.

Bucky stood in the doorway looking so confused with his long hair looking like he just rolled out of bed.

She didn't know why she was taking this out on him. She was disgusted.

Disgusted by her job and the people who worked there. She was sick of working with these patients. It felt cruel to even think such a thing, but she had been groped and molested one too many times. The night shift at Cedar Creek Institute was known as "Hell" by the staff. Every handsy, filthy, sexual predator seemed to take over the place. They used the darkness as a cover for their cruelty toward other inmates. For financial reasons, the hospital was used for both genders. They were separated by a single corridor.

Last night she found a fifty eight year old man in an eighteen-year-old schizophrenic girl's room. The man was "serving" seven years for pedophilia only because he managed to get a plea deal after he was diagnosed with some nominal mental condition. The girl was being held for observation before she could be charged with arson. Katie was the one who walked in on that foul man attacking her. And what did she get for restraining him before he could further damage that poor girl? Reprimanded. The institute was hoping to pretend that nothing happened so they wouldn't have a lawsuit on their hands. Working in a mental ward was enough to make a person lose all of their marbles.

Katie went to nursing school to fix people, not to become a registered babysitter for people she couldn't help. She wanted to work with veterans and victims. Maybe that's why she was angry, perhaps not at Bucky himself, but the idea of him. Here was a man with a severe amputation, yet, he was perfectly normal. It went against everything she studied and experienced.

"How are you so... normal?"

Bucky was taken back by the question. 'Normal' wasn't a word he'd use for himself. She must have seen the confusion in his eyes because she didn't leave him with enough time to come up with an answer.

"Not to point out the obvious, but, you lost your damn arm. How is it that you can just go on without any crazy side effects?" His expression grew more guarded by the second as she continued berating him needlessly. "My patients are criminally insane. I have rape victims who can't go through the day without crying and war vets who dive under tables if someone starts to whistle. I mean this in the nicest way possible because your behavior kind of scares me." She closed her eyes and leaned her weight against the back of the couch, easily invading Bucky's personal space. "What happened to you?"

Bucky felt cornered and he didn't like it at all. It felt like she backed him into a trap and wouldn't free him unless he answered.

"It works best when I don't talk about it." He barked through gritted teeth, eyes narrow.

Katie took an instinctual step back. The hurt and fury in his slightly crumpled expression was too much. She stumbled over her words.

"I, oh jeez, I'm sorry." She looked everywhere but at those blue eyes that wanted to bore a hole in her skull. "It's just, I don't know. I just worry about you, I guess. I know how bad it can be when you hold it all in. That was, ugh. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I don't remember."

Green eyes jumped to Bucky's. "Hm?"

"I don't remember losing my arm. Just waking up behind enemy lines with this." He shrugged his left shoulder, his gaze was set somewhere behind her.

Her lips formed a small 'o', eyes swimming with unspoken apologies. She never worked with a POW before. She didn't have the slightest idea what to say or how to help. So she did what any normal woman would and changed the subject.

"Want to watch some preseason hockey? I think the Devils are playing tonight..."

The rest of the night they spent on the couch, Bucky's arm slung over the couch behind Katie's shoulders. He was still angry with her, but only a little. She apologized endlessly then tried to act as if nothing happened. It was almost like she was afraid to confront an argument head on.

Every once in a while he'd say something to make her laugh hard enough to fall against him. He, of course, made it his practice to make her laugh as much as humanly possible. Eventually, it was like she gave up trying to sit up on her own, knowing he'd make her fall over anyway. She just rocked her head against his shoulder, their bodies formed together. The game passed and Katie was furious that the Devils lost to the Rangers. Bucky teased her for loving a team from Jersey when NY was so obviously better. Too bad Katie was far more current with her knowledge of Stanley Cup victories, so he had to let her win.

Then there was one moment. She was smiling at him, legs a jumble underneath her, one knee propped up over his lap. For just one blissful second he thought she might kiss him. Her eyes dropped briefly to his mouth then back to his eyes questioningly.

Only then did she find the need to tell him, "you have a poppyseed in your teeth."

Even though he was always better with women than Steve, he still had his moments.

After that, she fell asleep and Bucky watched college football. It was ten by the time Katie woke up and started groggily getting ready for work. He felt her cool absence from his side. He frowned. He couldn't think that way about a married woman. It wasn't right. But as he watched her get ready he saw her apply some light makeup and tie her hair into that same tight bun.

"You have a date or somethin'?" He asked lightly, petting Jade who took her owner's spot in the crook of his arm. There was a deafening silence to answer him. He swiveled to see her gazing off into the distance, totally lost in thought. "Hey, Kate?"

She snapped out of it with a start, tears welling in her eyes. She stumbled a little as she threw a few water bottles in her bag, wiping her eyes quickly, hoping he wouldn't see them threatening to roll over her cheeks. She never answered.

Bucky got up and stood in her way as she frantically readied herself for another awful night on the Hell shift. Bucky's large hands suddenly appeared on both shoulders, steadying and holding her in place as he waited for something.

"Kate, what's wrong?"

Right then it came out. "I'm scared." She whimpered.

The soft sparks of anger and disappointment danced across his face.

A fat tear escaped her tight eye. "The reason I was so upset this morning. Something bad happened to a young girl. It happens all the time in clinics like mine." She maneuvered her arm around his to wipe her cheek. "And there's nothing I can do to fix it."

Bucky didn't say anything. He wasn't going to push her to think about something if it scared her this much. Instead he coiled his arms around her shoulders and held her there. Slowly, her own arms snaked up his back, holding him tight as she breathed him in.

After a long pause they untangled from one another, Bucky smiled down at Katie who returned a slight smirk.

Nothing was said as she left until she muttered 'goodbye' as she locked the door.

The entire shift was filled with confusing thoughts. Bucky hugged her. But that didn't mean anything, right? Friends hugged all the time and it was completely normal. But, then, why did that feel so different? Maybe it was just because she hadn't been on the dating scene for a very long time that she was assuming something out of nothing.

"Forscythe!" Katie winced at her married name, reminding her that she shouldn't be thinking about Bucky at all. "Get over here. We've got a code white."

Katie groaned. 'Code white' could only mean one thing. Male fluid cleanup. Gross.

*PCS: Permanent Change of Station.