Here's the first chapter, everyone : ) I followed the skeleton of the first chapter, so this is a long one. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, am not Stephenie Meyer and thus I do not own the Twilight Saga and its various characterizations, plot(s) and details.

It was Bella's birthday today and that made me happy, to know that she was growing up and getting human, two very human things. Unfortunately, I knew my Bella, and this wouldn't make her happy – birthdays were usually focused on the birthday girl and Bella hated being the center of attention. Birthdays also meant gift, and if there was anything Bella hated as much as being the center of attention, it was having money spent on her, even if only a few dollars.

My sister, Alice, had insisted on having a party. This wouldn't sit well with Bella, I knew this for a fact. I could almost imagine her scowling, her lips thinned into a line. Despite this, Alice was continuing with her plans. Why, I had no idea. Surely she had seen Bella's reaction to her party? I had reluctantly allowed it, as long as it didn't mean anything dangerous or anything that could hurt Bella. She'd just have to endure it. I almost chuckled at the thought – seeing Bella pout adorably throughout the night certainly sounded entertaining.

Alice was almost rocketing off the walls in excitement. 'Edward!' she cried. 'Thank you so much! Bella will love it, I promise!' Even if she doesn't show it, she added mentally.

I eyed her carefully. 'As long as it's nothing dangerous.'

Her hands positioned themselves on her hips. 'I want to see her hurt about as much as you do.'

I shrugged, walking over to the side of my Volvo. Alice was in the passenger seat before I had even opened the door. She began to blabber about the party and how great it would be, her thoughts all along the same line and tone. It was far too much enthusiasm for this early in the morning. I raised my hand. 'Alice,' I said. 'Save it for Bella.'

She pouted. She was silent for exactly thirteen and one quarter of a second, before she started her diatribe on the music I played in my car. I snorted then, proceeding to ignore her. This was what Alice always did when she accompanied me to school. She never spoke of anything of dire importance and most of the time I didn't mind. I loved my sister dearly but sometimes it got too much. I could tune her out easily now, her voice fading to a rapid hum in the background.

It was no less than two minutes after she had started her rant that I pulled into the car park of Forks High. She had barely finished criticizing the Renaissance era when I pulled the key from the ignition. We spent five or so minutes sitting in the car, letting the piece finish. Of course, that had started another round of critique but I got out of the car to wait for Bella. On the days I couldn't pick her up, I made it a point to get here at least ten minutes earlier. Better I wait for her than she wait for me.

For the remaining five or so minutes, I sifted through the thoughts of the students still in the parking lots. I heard Alice's clearly; she was ranting about how ridiculous a shirt looked on a sophomore, or something like that. There was nothing urgent or important, just endless gossip and worries. The hot topic today was Bella's birthday and the news that I was going to propose. Completely unfounded, of course, though I couldn't admit that I hadn't thought of such a thing.

The idea of marrying Bella was tempting. Like a glass of water in the middle of the Sahara, I wanted it badly. I wanted to make her mine, to stake my claim, as possessive as it sounded. Isabella Cullen, I mused. It had a ring to it. I would ask her, one day. I would get down on one knee and present to her my mother's ring and hope with everything in me that she'd say yes.

Part of me was so sure she'd agree. She loved me, almost as much as I loved her. But part of me was hesitant, unsure. She loved me? What a foolish concept. I was a monster, filled with the blood of the innocent, and she was human, pure and full of goodness. I was unworthy, of course she'd decline. If she said no, I would never be able to get over the rejection. I shuddered at the thought.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the cool breeze that moved through the parking lot. It brought a myriad of unfamiliar scents but I picked out my favorite: freesia and strawberries. Patiently, I waited for her ancient Chevy to pull into the lot.

I noted, with disapproval, the sound of her weakening engine. I knew it would collapse sooner or later. Briefly, I toyed with the idea of getting her a new car. Maybe an Audi, or if she preferred trucks, a Ford.

Bella stepped out of her trucks, her cheeks coloring a pale pink. She looked at Alice with disgust, her eyes drifting to the small square package wrapped in silver. A scowl graced her face and I resisted the urge to laugh. I didn't want to anger Alice. Her irritation made her slam the door harder than usual, her truck shaking from the impact.

Bella began to walk to us slower than usual, clearly unimpressed by the gift Alice bore.

Can she walk any slower? Alice groaned, as she began to skip over.

Alice beamed. 'Happy birthday, Bella!'

'Shhh!' Bella hissed, her irritation clearly growing tenfold. Clearly, she didn't want anybody to know about her birthday, which would lead to more attention. Silly Bella – virtually everyone already knew.

Alice paid her no heed. 'Do you want to open your present now or later?' They began to walk across the parking lot to me. Alice was nearly dancing, while Bella mostly focused on not tripping, her eyebrows knitted in concentration.

'No presents,' she rebuked feebly.

Alice sighed. Really? Can't she accept gifts on just one day of the damn year? 'Okay…,' she said, trailing off hesitantly. I wonder, what about Charlie and Renee's gifts? Surely she'd accept those? 'Later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?'

Bella's sigh was resigned. 'Yeah. They're great.'

Alice began her spiel on how important it was to document memories. I knew it wasn't necessary to listen, but I liked watching Bella and her reactions. After all this time, she continued to intrigue me. I had a love-hate relationship with her mind: I loved that I couldn't read it but I hated it too. I liked having answers, and not knowing what she thought sometimes frustrated me to no end. But I loved not being able to read her. I didn't ever know what would come next, or how she'd react. Before Bella, I was immune to surprises but now I was surprised at almost every turn.

Bella stood in front of me then, and I reached out to hold her hand. She promptly took it and I squeezed her hand, cautious not to hurt her in any way. Her eyes met mine and as usual, I found myself lost in her pools of chocolate. Her heartbeat stuttered and I smiled. She called this dazzling, yet what she didn't realize was that she dazzled me as much as I supposedly dazzled her. If positions were reversed, she would hear my heartbeat stutter.

I couldn't resist touching her, allowing my finger to trace the outline of her lips. 'So,' I began. 'As discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday; is that correct?'

'Yes,' she breathed. 'That is correct.' She smiled, but she looked vaguely disappointed, for reasons I couldn't fathom.

'Just checking,' I said. 'You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts,' I reminded her gently.

Alice laughed, picturing tonight's party in her head. 'Of course you'll enjoy it! Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?'

Bella's response was automatic. 'Getting older.' Her voice wavered, and I knew she was thinking about immortality again.

'Eighteen isn't very old,' said Alice. 'Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?'

Bella's response was no more than a murmur but Alice and I heard it nonetheless. 'It's older than Edward.' My heart jumped when she said my name.

I couldn't resist a long sigh. I was plenty older than her. She was only older than my fake age, and that was all it was – fake.

'Technically,' Alice agreed delicately. 'Just by one little year, though.'

From the look on Bella's face, one year wasn't little, at all, even in comparison to a fake age.

Alice continued talking, anyway. 'What time will you be at the house?'

Bella's scowl returned. 'I didn't know I had plans to be there.'

Alice scowled, too. 'Oh, be fair, Bella! You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?' Your fun, I corrected her.

'I thought my birthday was about what I want.' I sighed internally.

'I'll get her from Charlie's right after school,' I promised.

'I have to work,' she said feebly, but Alice had seen it coming.

'You don't, actually. I already spoke to Mrs Newton about it. She's trading shifts. She said to tell you "Happy birthday."'

'I still can't come over,' Bella stuttered. I couldn't help but smile fondly at her desperation to get out of the party. It was endearing. 'I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English.'

Oh, please, Bella, Alice thought as she rebuked her excuse.

'But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it – that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented.'

I rolled my eyes, knowing he hadn't actually said that.

'You've already seen the movie,' my sister countered.

'But not the nineteen-sixties version! Mr. Berty said it was the best.'

Alice's eyes hardened into a glare. Why does she have to be so stubborn? Honestly, I'm doing this for her. The least she could do is attend! 'This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other…'

I stepped in then. Alice was crossing the line when she threatened my Bella. 'Relax, Alice,' I cautioned evenly. 'If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday,' I added for good measure, using the same excuse Alice'd been harping the whole morning.

Everything about Bella screamed triumphant. 'So there.'

'I'll bring her over around seven,' I said. 'That will give you more time to set up.'

Hm, I suppose I could work with that. 'Sounds good,' she agreed finally, laughing. 'See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see.' Alice grinned far too wide for my liking, exposing her sharp white teeth, before pecking Bella on the cheek and skipping off to class.

'Edward, please –,' Bella began but I pressed a cool finger to her lips, hearing the thoughts of our teacher for first period as he left the teacher's lounge.

'Let's discuss it later,' I suggested. 'We're going to be late.'

Bella scowled again. She still didn't like the idea of the party, but she disliked being late almost just as much.

We took our seats right at the back of the classroom, my arm making its way to its usual place around her. It hadn't taken much to convince the office staff to switch most of my classes to match Bella's especially if they were female. School was much more bearable now, knowing that I'd spend majority of it with Bella. Also, people no longer stared at us, though they still came up with unsubstantiated rumors and blatant lies in their mind, but Bella didn't need to know that.

Bella's eyes drifted to Mike Newton and I lazily wondered what she was thinking. I, of course, heard Mike's thoughts as clear as day.

Bella's looking at me! It's her birthday today, isn't it? Maybe I should ask her out again, I'm sure she'll say yes this time… why is Cullen looking at me like that? He's so weird sometimes, it freaks me out. I still can't believe she's with him, I don't like it. She'd be much better off with me.

I snarled then. Better off with him? Other than the fact that he was human… Highly unlikely. Bella grasped at my hand, looking at me questioningly. I shook my head, instead relishing on the warmth that her hand radiated. I could feel the faint pulse of her heartbeat, the movement of the red liquid in her veins and arteries. My kind killed for it, but it kept her kind alive. And keeping her alive was of utmost priority.

Lessons passed quickly that day. I couldn't bring myself to listen; I already knew all the material and more. Thankfully the teachers knew, to some degree, how my knowledge was superior to theirs. I had corrected them on one too many occasions and laughed at their disgruntled thoughts. Instead, I spent most of my time watching Bella, helping her when the teacher moved too fast through the lesson or providing answers when the teacher caught her distracted.

Lunch was uneventful as always. Alice and I positioned ourselves next to Bella at the table, picking at our food, while Bella conversed with her friends. Nobody noticed that we didn't eat – the larger part of the table ignored us. Only Lauren and Jessica continued to stare at us, their thoughts filled with jealousy and lust.

God, he's so attractive. How the hell did Bella snag him? She's so plain and she's not even pretty. The things I would do to that boy, taken or not…

Not even pretty? I beg to differ. She wasn't pretty, though, she was beautiful, as tacky and clichéd as that sounded. I still spend every second memorizing her, tattooing her to my memory. I didn't ever want to forget her. Of course, she had come up with a way to prevent it – if I changed her, I'd never lose her.

Again, this idea was tempting. But it was selfish of me, very, very selfish. I wanted to change her for my own purposes, so I'd never have to watch her die, never have to lose her, never have to forget her. But changing her meant taking away everything about her that was pure, taking away her warmth, taking away the blush that I loved so much. It meant taking away her soul and turning her into a monster like me. I loved her far too much to do that to her. So I had come up with a simple solution: when she died, I'd die too. I'd go to the Volturi and ask them to kill me, in whatever way they pleased. There was no reason to exist without her, anyway.

But of course, Alice had seen her as one of us, with blood-red eyes, a tell-tale sign that she was a newborn. Alice had two kinds of visions: one kind could flicker statically, a sign that there was no solid decision made yet. The other kind was solid, crystal-clear, enough for her to paint a picture of it or at least get a good look. The vision Alice got was the second kind and it terrified me. Few things in this world were enough to shake me, and this was one of them. I would do everything in my power to prevent it, but would it be enough? I could only hope.

When school ended, I was to take Bella home, as usual, while Alice would take my car and head straight home to prepare. I prayed fervently she wouldn't do anything to harm it.

I opened the passenger door for Bella as usual, ready to catch her if she were to slip on anything at all, something that wasn't too unlikely for her and her clumsiness.

Her arms folded across her chest. 'It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?' she said indignantly.

'I'm pretending it's not your birthday,' I replied. 'Just as you wished.'

Her eyes narrowed slightly. 'If it's my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight.'

'All right,' I acquiesced, shutting the passenger door and leading her briskly over to the driver's side. 'Happy birthday.'

'Shh!' she hissed again.

I fiddled with her radio as she drove, the static ten times more pronounced to my ears. It was irritating and frustrating. 'Your radio has horrible reception,' I said.

She frowned. 'You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car,' she muttered, albeit bitterly. I tried not to laugh. Somebody was cranky today.

A few minutes later, she came to a stop in front of Charlie's. I leaned over to touch her eagerly. The time I had to hold back while she was driving so as not to distract her was unbearable.

Gingerly, I pressed my fingers against her face, tracing a path from her temples to her jawline. I had to be careful; Bella was fragile, another human thing.

'You should be in a good mood today, of all days,' I said.

Her heartbeat stuttered and I smiled. 'And if I don't want to be in a good mood?' she retorted.

'Too bad,' I replied, and pressed my lips to hers.

Her lips, as always, were warm and soft, a stark contrast to my icy hard ones. Often, when kissing her, I had to rein myself in, concentrating on the fact that this was my Bella I was kissing, that I couldn't become too eager, lest I hurt her. Of course, Bella responded greedily, wrangling her arms around my neck. I shivered from the heat.

All too soon, as usual, I pulled away. Bella despised me for this, but it was for her own safe. The physical side of our relationship was a fine line.

Right now, there were so many things I'd have liked to say to her, how kissing me was dangerous, how she shouldn't tempt me like that, or how badly I wanted to give in to her. Instead, I settled for 'Be good, please.' I allowed myself to kiss her one more time, brushing my lips against hers, hearing her heartbeat thunder under her skin.

'Do you think I'll ever get better at this? That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?'

I frowned inside. I liked the way she responded to me. 'I really hope not.'

She rolled her eyes, tugging at my hand. 'Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?'

I smiled indulgently. 'Your wish, my command.'

I laid on the sofa while she set the movie up, impatiently fast-forwarding through the opening credits. I pulled her against me, wanting – no, needing – to feel her warmth on the ice of my skin. As a precaution, I grabbed an afghan off the counter, and threw it over her.

The movie started then, with an introduction. 'You know,' I said, 'I've never had much patience with Romeo.'

'What's wrong with Romeo?' Bella asked defensively.

I sighed. Where did I begin? Romeo was flawed in so many ways. 'Well, first of all,' I began. 'He's in love with this Rosaline, don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant,' I remarked. 'Mistake after mistake.'

She frowned. 'Do you want me to watch this alone?'

'No! I'll mostly be watching you, anyway,' I admitted, tracing my fingers across her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in my wake. I smiled. 'Will you cry?'

'Probably, if I'm paying attention.'

I leaned up to press a kiss to her hair. 'I won't distract you, then.'

True to my word, I didn't distract her. Well, I thought I didn't – all I did was whisper Romeo's lines into her ear. She did shiver a few times though, so I suppose I did distract her, though whether I was sorry or not is another matter.

And she did cry. When Juliet woke to find Romeo dead, tears were flowing down her alabaster cheeks freely. I was mildly entertained at how affected she was, again another endearing quality that made her so very Bella.

I dabbed at her tears. 'I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here.'

Bella sniffed. 'She's very pretty.'

I snorted. She thought I envied him because she was pretty? Was I really that fickle? And the actress wasn't that pretty anyway, in comparison to the angel lying with me. 'I don't envy him the girl.' I almost spat the word. 'Just the ease of suicide,' I clarified. 'You humans have it so easy!' I could see, with perfect clarity, the countless suicides I had witnessed through the minds of others and in person. A bullet, or maybe a knife, a pill or a shot of poison – that was all there was to it. 'All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts!'

'What?'

'It's something I had to think about once,' I said. 'And I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning… after he'd realized what he'd become…' I was no longer on the couch with Bella, but back in Carlisle's home in Chicago when I had first woken to this new life and demanded to die. Carlisle had patiently explained his own beginnings, and that there was virtually no death for us. Then I realized I was probably scaring Bella, so I tried to make a joke. 'And he's clearly still in excellent health.'

Bella turned to face me. 'What are you talking about? What do you mean, something you had to think about once?'

I sighed, then. I didn't particularly like revisiting this part of history. 'Last spring, when you were… nearly killed…,' I said, pausing to gather my thoughts to string them into a coherent sentence. 'Of course, I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind… was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human.'

Bella was silent for a long moment and I waited uneasily.

'Contingency plans?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Well, I wasn't going to live without you.' Wasn't that obvious? Without my angel, what was the purpose of this existence, if you could call it that? 'But I wasn't sure how to do it,' I admitted. 'I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help, so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi…' Stand in the sun and sparkle, as Bella called it, or feed openly, or throw something heavy across the square… They'd come after me in no more than a minute. It would be quick, painless and then I'd be with my love again.

'What is a Volturi?' The fury in her voice was palpable.

'The Volturi are a family,' I said automatically. 'A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America.' My eyes flashed to the many paintings of them we had in our library, courtesy of them, of course. 'Do you remember the story?'

Bella sounded almost offended. 'Of course I remember!'

'Anyway,' I continued. 'You don't irritate the Volturi. 'Not unless you want to die – or whatever it is we do.'

Bella reached to hold my face roughly. 'You must never, never, never think of anything like that again!' she scolded, castigating. 'No matter what might ever happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!'

I sighed. 'I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point.'

'Put me in danger!' she cried. 'I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault?'

I laughed humorlessly. Of course Bella would try to take the blame.

'How dare you even think of that!'

'What would you do, if the situation were reversed?' I countered easily without missing a beat.

'That's not the same thing.'

I laughed again.

'What if something did happen to you?' A shiver ran through her then, and warmth spread through me at the knowledge that she truly cared about me. 'Would you want me to go off myself?' she challenged.

If I could've paled, I would've. Bella would not kill herself over something stupid, like me. No, I would not allow that. She was human, her life had barely begun. There was so much in this world waiting for her, not to mention her warmth, her kindness, her goodness. No, she would not waste it on a monster like me.

But she would do the same if I died, miraculously. Even though I was a vile, deplorable monster. She would die for me, as ridiculous as it was. So this is love, my brain remarked emotionlessly.

'I guess I see your point… a little,' I allowed. But if she died and I were not to die too, what would be the point of this life? 'But what would I do without you?'

She shrugged. 'Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence,' she said easily.

My existence before her wasn't very much of an existence. It was a pathetic excuse of one, and meaningless. 'You make that sound so easy.'

'It should be,' Bella replied. 'I'm not really that interesting.'

Not interesting? Did she really think so little of herself? I was almost offended. Bella was interesting. Christ, interesting barely sufficed. But I knew if I brought it up she'd rebuke whatever point I'd make. 'Moot point,' I said finally. What was the point of talking about this if neither of us were to be dying anytime soon?

Faintly, about a mile off, I heard the rumble of the cruiser. Charlie's thoughts filtered into my mental hearing range.

Is that Cullen's car? Damn. He's hear every day… they better not be doing anything.

I almost laughed. As if I would take Bella's virtue. Still, I pulled myself into a sitting position, putting as little as distance needed such that we were not touching.

'Charlie?'

I smiled in reply. She took my hand in hers, evidently having decided she didn't quite care. I chuckled silently.

Charlie was smiling when he entered. 'Hey, kids,' he greeted. Well, they're holding hands. That's not too bad, I guess. 'I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?'

'Sure. Thanks, Dad.'

When Bella had finished her dinner, I brought up the topic of tonight's party.

'Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?' I asked politely. Bella glanced at Charlie meaningfully.

'That's fine,' he assured me. 'The Mariners are playing the Sox tonight.'

Bella looked mildly disappointed. Had she been hoping to use Charlie as an excuse? Silly Bella, Alice would've thought of it.

'So I won't be any kind of company,' he continued. 'Here.' Charlie picked up the camera he had bought for Bella and threw it at her for catch but Bella was hopeless. The silver object bounced off the tip of her finger, where it landed in my palm.

'Nice save,' Charlie complimented me. Thank God it wasn't damaged, I don't know if the warranty covers it… 'If they're doing something fun at the Cullens' tonight you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets, she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them.'

'Good idea, Charlie,' I agreed, handing it to Bella, making sure she had grasped it safely before letting go. She turned it on and pointed it at me, pressing the shutter.

'It works.'

'That's good,' Charlie said. 'Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while.' I chuckled a bit at that. Charlie was very fond of my sister, which was a good thing.

'It's been three days, Dad.' Bella sighed. 'I'll tell her.'

'Okay, you kids have fun tonight.' It was clearly a dismissal – Charlie was already one foot in the living room. I tugged at Bella's hand and led her to the truck.

I presumed that she would like me to drive, and I was right, for she didn't argue when I opened the passenger door for her. I knew she still had trouble finding our house in the dark, which was the purpose of its location, so I drove.

As I neared the outskirts of town, I attempted to push the truck faster. Its limit was quickly frustrating me – this would be so much easier if she'd just let me buy her a new car. I inched the speedometer towards fifty, but the truck groaned audibly.

'Take it easy,' Bella warned.

I rolled my eyes. 'You know what you would love? A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power...' I trailed off suggestively.

'There's nothing wrong with my truck,' she defended, crossing her arms. 'And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on birthday presents.' She tossed me a warning look.

I sighed. We'd been through this before and I had promised her I wouldn't, even if I didn't like it. I'd just have to make do. 'Not a dime.'

'Good.'

'Can you do me a favor?'

'That depends on what it is,' she said carefully.

I sighed. 'Bella, the last birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited.'

'Fine. I'll behave.'

'I should probably warn you…'

'Please, do.'

'When I say they're all excited, I do mean all of them.'

I heard her breath catch. 'Everyone?' she choked. 'I thought Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa.'

'Emmett wanted to be here.'

'But… Rosalie?'

I rolled my eyes – Rosalie, the terror of all humans, particularly of my girlfriend. She envied Bella's humanity and how she was clearly in the process of so clearly throwing her choice away and this resulted in an often hostile and less than polite attitude towards her. I had warned her to be nice tonight, it was Bella's birthday after all.

'I know, Bella,' I soothed. 'Don't worry, she'll be on her best behavior.'

Bella was silent after that, thinking, so I gave her a moment.

'So,' I said, breaking the silence. 'If you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?'

Her words came out in a whisper. 'You know what I want.'

I sighed inside. Why Bella was so eager to give up her mortality, her humanity – the one thing all of us wanted – was a mystery to me. Why did she want to be a monster so fast? Was it the age thing? If so, then that was ridiculous, absurd. Surely Bella didn't think that lowly of me to leave her because she was getting old and dying. If anything, I'd follow her.

'Not tonight, Bella,' I pleaded. 'Please.'

She sulked. 'Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want.'

I couldn't resist the growl that built up in me. Alice would never, I tried to reassure myself, but I knew Alice wanted her to be one of us as much as I did, even though it was selfish. Alice didn't hold humanity in such high regard as Rosalie, Carlisle and the rest of us did. Sure, she missed being human, but she enjoyed her existence. Besides, what if Alice couldn't stop? Surely she'd know better than to risk it.

'This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella.'

'That's not fair!'

I ground my teeth together. The thought of her becoming what I was angered me. I would do my everything to stop it, at all costs, no matter what.

Bella moaned loudly at the sight of the house. If I hadn't been so caught up in myself, I would've smiled. Alice had outdone herself this time with the decorations.

I inhaled deeply, her scent filling the cavity in my chest. I had never been much of a masochist before I met Bella, though now I'd say it was my most prominent trait. 'This is a party,' I reminded. 'Try to be a good sport.'

'Sure,' she muttered.

Quickly, I got out of the truck and moved to the other side to open the door. When I opened the door and offered her my hand, she did not take it.

'I have a question,' she said, fidgeting with the camera in her hands. I eyed her warily. Was she going to bring that up again?

Thankfully she didn't.

'If I develop this film, will you show up in the picture?'

The question was not only ridiculous but so unexpected that I couldn't help but laugh. Silly Bella, I wanted to say, of course I will, I'm not a ghost. But I was laughing too hard to reply. Faintly, I heard the tinkling laugh of my mother's and Alice's from the house. Even Rosalie let a giggle escape.

I laughed all the way up the steps to the house and even when I was opening the door for Bella.

'Happy birthday, Bella!' my family cheered when Bella stepped into our glass home. Immediately, she looked down, but not before I saw the familiar signature pink color her cheeks. I chuckled.

She studied the room, her face twisting into vague disgust. I sighed; I should've warned Alice not to go too overboard. I wrapped an arm around her in comfort, kissing the top of her head.

Carlisle and Esme came to greet her first, Esme kissing her forehead while Carlisle wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

His thoughts were amused. Ah, Alice… 'Sorry about this, Bella,' he pretended to whisper. 'We couldn't rein Alice in.'

I was glad to see that Rosalie wasn't glaring. Stupid human, she thought. Stupid Edward. I had to get dressed up for her. I almost snorted at the thought – Rosalie loved dressing up, she loved any chance she got to show others how beautiful she was, even if it was family and her brother's girlfriend.

I talked to her but at least she's not glaring, Emmett thought apologetically. I nodded in agreement. 'It's better than that, for sure,' I said too lowly for Bella to hear and he grinned.

'You haven't changed at all,' Emmett remarked. 'I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always.'

The pink turned to an almost red. 'Thanks, Emmett.'

He laughed. 'I'll have to step out for a second,' he said, evidently to install one of Bella's gifts. 'Don't do anything funny while I'm gone.'

'I'll try.'

Alice skipped forward, grinning. She grabbed Bella's arm and she flinched. I hope it was from the cold and not because Alice had grabbed her too hard; I would've to speak to her about that later. 'Time to open presents!'

Bella groaned. 'Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything!'

'But I didn't listen,' Alice said smugly. We were family in that way – stubborn. 'Open it.' She handed Bella a wrapped gift that was empty inside, Emmett had already left to install the stereo.

Bella clearly didn't know what it was as she stared at it in confusion. 'Um… thanks,' she said anyway.

Rosalie cracked a smile, Jasper laughed, Esme giggled.

'It's a stereo for your truck,' Jasper explained. 'Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it.'

Bella frowned, but it quickly turned into a smile. Of course Alice would've seen her trying to return it. 'Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie,' she said, then more loudly – 'Thanks, Emmett!' We all heard his raucous laughter.

'Open mine and Edward's next!' Alice cried then, passing her a small package.

She turned to me with an accusatory look in her eyes. 'You promised.'

Emmett bounded through the door. 'Just in time!' he crowed happily.

I ignored him. 'I didn't spend a dime,' I promised, moving a lock of hair out of her eyes.

She swallowed. 'Give it to me.'

Emmett chuckled.

Bella carefully took the package in her hands, rolling her eyes as she opened it.

Alice saw it about the same time it happened.

'Shoot,' Bella cursed as the sharp edge of the paper sliced through her skin, pulling it out to examine the damage.

A single drop of blood bubbled at the thin cut.

It happened so quickly and so slowly at the same time.

The first thing I noticed was the thoughts of my family.

Oh, dear, this isn't going to end well…

I'll go get a band-aid.

Clumsy Bella.

Ugh, stupid human.

Resist, Alice! Think of Jazz.

Jazz. Jasper. His mind was silent.

That was the second thing I noticed.

The third was that he was lunging for my Bella.

I couldn't help the roar that escaped my lips. 'No!'

I threw myself in front of Bella, angling my body such that I was shielding her. I could smell her blood… No, Edward, I scolded myself. Bella. Think of Bella; she's in danger. Don't let it distract you! The monster in me growled and clawed at the metal bars of its cage. In the process of defending her, I threw her across the table. Faintly, I heard the sound of glass breaking, and then, louder, Jasper crashing into me.

JASPER.

I grabbed at whatever part of him I could reach, which happened to be his shoulders. I pulled with just enough strength so that cracks began to form. Then I heard his thoughts and smelled Bella through his mine. Bella's scent was twice as strong now – this was my personal hell.

Blood… Mine! Blood is mine! Edward… let… me… GO!

He snarled angrily at me, grinding his teeth together viciously. He clawed hopelessly at me and I willed myself not to think of the fact that Bella's blood was within reach. No, I had caused her enough harm, I needed to focus on keeping her safe now.

Jasper was strong and skilled but he was distracted now. I had that advantage, but it was only temporary. Eventually he would rise through his bloodlust and decide that he wanted Bella and would do whatever it took to get her. When that happened, I had no chance. I would get hurt, but more importantly, Bella would die, because of me.

'Emmett!' I hissed. 'A little help here!'

He pulled at Jasper and I pushed, shoving Jasper into his grasp. Emmett locked his arms around Jasper – there would be no escaping them. As strong as Jasper was, Emmett was stronger. He was still growling and snarling, his eyes focused on one thing: Bella's blood.

I turned slowly to face her.

She laid on the floor, surrounded by the jagged shards of glass from when I had pushed her on the table. The glass struck her skin, and there was infinitely more blood now. I thanked my lucky stars that we had all hunted yesterday – it was barely enough to restrain us. Her face was gnarled into an expression of pain, her eyes focusing and unfocusing in Jasper's general direction.

Her scent assaulted me, enveloping me in a thick blanket of heaven. But this was not heaven; no, this was hell. This was what I had feared the most, from the moment I met her: that she'd die, inadvertently or not, because of me.

She looked up at all of us, hesitantly, and I knew what she saw.

Our fevered eyes, the eyes of true monsters.

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Clara