Lost Bird
This had to be some fuck up dream he's having. Is this some twisted afterlife? Coming back to life, crawling out of his own damn coffin, and somehow he's in the hotel room where Talia al Ghul had told him to go to with full of newspapers clippings about the Joker?
This had to be a dream.
It should be a dream.
Why— why is he alive?
He remembered taking the beatings from a psychotic clown right after that woman— his mother? — had betrayed him. He remembers the feeling of being blown up, jumping in front of the woman just so he could protect her.
And he should've died.
He should be dead.
Dead. Very Dead. Yet he is here, holding his official death document. He did die.
He shouldn't be here in the very that Talia ordered him to go after she had shoved him down to the Lazarus Pit. He could still taste and feel the water from the Pit rushing down his throat and almost suffocating from it.
He remembered waking up in the coffin and he dug himself out and after that, his memory was a blur. Jason couldn't remember most of it, heck he doesn't even remember how he got to be under Talia's hands. Just how the heck did that happen?
Jason Todd; Good Soldier
He frowned at that sudden memory wondering why he could remember a placard with his name on it and the description: Good Soldier. Jason felt his blood boiling and he never felt so much rage before. Was that all he ever was to Bruce? Just a Good Soldier? What about a fucking Good Son to that?
Jason silently cursed to himself, pondering why he was getting angry over a single thing. Seeing the placard; the Robin uniform, his Robin uniform in the glass case with that placard. All he could think about: wasn't I a good son to you, Bruce?
He gazed on the floor silently, his only thought of that glass case and the placard and wondering if he was ever loved by the man who took him in.
And these memories, where were they coming from? He didn't even remember when it happened and he wasn't even sure if they were real. Maybe the memories –that placard, glass case— are all nothing but his imagination.
"Master Jason ever since you died, Master Bruce hasn't been himself lately."
Alfred? Ever since he died, Bruce—hasn't been himself?
"—Jay, god, I'm so sorry. I wish I was there for you instead of ignoring you whenever I was in a pissy mood— And, and, I should've spend my time mostly with you because I know how hard it is to deal with Bruce. If I spend more time with you, maybe you wouldn't have died."
Jason could feel himself tremble. Hearing his predecessor in his head and apologizing made his head hurt. When he had taken his spot as Robin, Jason only thought that Dick hated him, resented him and avoided him because he replaced him, he took his name, his mentor. They were never close, not even close for his older brother to be even apologizing and regretting. This is all a lie. That memory is a lie. Dick never cared for him. This has to be a lie. It has to be.
"Jay, I didn't know if I was good father to you. That glass case I made, it was a reminder for me that I failed you as a mentor and as a father."
His earlier thoughts were diminished as soon as heard: "I failed you as a mentor and as a father." Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. What made him think that Bruce wasn't a good father to him? If it wasn't for him, he would've still be in the streets doing god knows what to survive and he wasn't even sure if he was able to survive on his own that long. All Jason ever strived during his stay at the Wayne mansion was to make Bruce, his mentor, his father, proud.
And yet…
He failed to save me. Jason choked back a sob, closing his eyes tightly.
"J-Jason, I'm so sorry I couldn't save you in time."
Just shut up, Bruce. You didn't save me in time. You didn't save me in time. And— Jason looked up, his eyes examining every newspaper clippings hanging on the wall and it were all about his killer, the Joker. He's still alive. He couldn't believe it. Why was that murderer still alive when he had killed him? Bruce had let him go.
Did he even try to avenge him at all? Did he even try? Did he even love him? Just—god why was that murdering bastard still alive?
He watched helplessly as his mentor continued to punch the lunatic, laugh after laugh to the point where he could see blood forming all over the clown's face. This terrified him greatly. He had never seen such murderous look on his mentor face and all he wanted his mentor to stop. This isn't him. Batman shouldn't kill despite Jason's view on killing the clown.
No. No. No. That didn't happen. Why is he experiencing these memories that he doesn't even remember? It's so vivid, he could see his mentors face, his face that distorted into a look for a killer and yet why did that scare him? These fake memories are fucking up his mind. He can't even distinguish what's real or fake.
Someone— someone had planted those memories in his head. How else would he even be remembering them without knowing how he even remembered it? Maybe it was Talia who did it; because it was Talia al Ghul he is talking about. Then again, he doesn't think Talia would have the heart to mess with his memories ever, since he is—was Batman's protégé.
Jason crawled to the corner of his bed and carefully leaned against the wall and hugged himself tightly. He just doesn't know what to do. Just one minute, he was angry at his mentor for not avenging, but after seeing—remembering that memory of his mentor beating the Joker into a pulp, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry anymore. He felt lost. All he wanted peace and yet Fate has other plans for him; to cursed him to roam the living once again.
He shuts his eyes tightly. His memories were playing in his head like a television with a bad reception. He could only get bits and pieces, but those were enough for him to know that he doesn't even remember these memories before his death. All he wanted to do was stop thinking about it. But it was the only thing in his mind that keeps re-playing and he loathes it.
Because he doesn't even know if it were real.
And if it were to be fake; he doesn't think he could handle that fact.
Because the first time ever since he came back from the dead; he felt happy.
.
He instantly woke up after hearing a faint sound of the door handle rattling and hearing the key switching the lock. On instinct, he was immediately on his feet, grabbing the nearest weapon he could find which was unfortunately a lamp but it could do for now.
When the door swung open revealing who it is, Jason felt relieved, slowly lowering the lamp and putting it back to place. He ignored the look from the lady's amused face as she closed the door and locked it. She sat in the nearest chair while the young boy sat back down on his bed and looked at Talia al Ghul.
"How do you feel, Jason?"
"Peachy, real peachy." Talia raised an eyebrow at him, as if she was expecting more of an answer than that. "Does—can the pit mess with memories? Or make up memories or something?"
Talia frowned knowing that the pit doesn't do that. "It shouldn't mess with your memories, Jason, nor could it make up memories for you. Are you remembering some stuff that didn't happen before you died?"
Jason wanted to lie to her face, but he decided against it. He owed her a lot since she was the one who 'revived' him and she knows more about the pit than he does. He opened his mouth to say something, but he felt hesitant. Should he even trust Talia at all?
"Jason?" He felt a soft hand caressing his arm and he met her luminous vivid green eyes and he suddenly felt like he was in a trance. He could clearly see it on her eyes that she really cares for him at this point on.
"I—I've been having these memories… but they show up as bits and pieces. I can't exactly remember every detail but I could get the gist of it though. These happy memories with them, they're so real— they seem so real that I don't want it to be fake. And when I saw those newspaper clippings about the Joker, I had this flashback when I literally saw Batman beating the shit out of the Joker. I saw the look of killer in his face, Talia. This… It can't be real. Batman would never kill. He didn't even kill the Joker, the one man who had taken me away from him!"
"But what scared me the most is that, I'm not even mad, angry or even thinking how to make Batman, Bruce Wayne, my mentor to pay of what he didn't do! Talia that psychotic madman took me away from him and yet I can't find it in myself to be mad! He didn't avenge me! He didn't avenge me, Talia. He didn't love me enough. I was only a replacement of what he lost."
"I don't know what made you thought I didn't love you, but I always did Jason, and I always will."
"No, no, no, NO! That's total lie, Bruce! Don't fucking lie to me!" His eyes flared up in anger; his memories were making shit up again. Bruce had never told him that he loved him. He was too unemotional available. He grabbed hold of his head as if it could stop the lies, the memories to stop showing.
"You have put my mind in ease and never forget: I will always love you son."
Talia was bewildered after that big confession and was torn on how to comfort the sobbing young man. She didn't think the memories that he doesn't even remember experiencing could drive him this crazy. The immortal slowly stood up and successfully hugged the thrashing young man as he cried on her shoulder.
"Shh, Jason, it's going to be alright." She cooed cradling him hoping it could calm him down. The daughter of the demon could only frown and felt her heart break for him. There were so many things she wanted to do for the young boy. Perhaps, take away his memories and never let him experience the pain he felt in his past life? This boy— it was the only last connection she had with her beloved and she had planned for him to return him to Bruce.
But seeing how the young ward is; she didn't even want him to back to his hands. Jason is already mentally and emotionally unstable with how his newfound memories are driving him crazy. Talia couldn't help but see him as a child who had lost his way.
Eventually, Jason calmed down a bit and she broke away and sat down next to him. "Jason, what do you want to do now? I could send you back to Bruce—"
"NO!" He shouted, wide eyed terrified. "I don't want to go back. N-Not when I'm all like this! Just please don't send me to him."
Talia nodded, as she reached for his back and rubbed it. Even though her plans for the boy were quite different, she knew where to send him and knew that person would willingly take Jason under her wing.
Talia calls the place the Hundreds Acres of All. It sounded really fancy to Jason and the place is one of the best scenery he has ever seen in his life. This place could not exist anywhere in the world at all. This was probably at some different dimension because even Talia or his new mentor, Ducra refused to tell him the exact location.
It's been seven months since Talia brought him here and Ducra taking him under her wing. It was rough at first because All-Caste is an assassins group and he was quite hesitant about learning under the thousand year old woman. She was teaching him to be an assassin, to be a killer and he didn't sit well with that. Eventually, he gave in because she is the only protection he's got from Ra's and he wasn't ready to go back to Gotham. He doesn't even think he wants to go back to Gotham.
Training with Ducra was hard at first. She gave him harsh training that he'd come back to his room bruised up and bloodied and to the point where he can't even feel his body anymore. It got better as days go on because he was kind of rusty and he had been a walking vegetable ever since he woke up from his coffin.
Soon enough, Ducra was teaching him how to wield the sword and telling him that his All-Caste swords are indestructible and can appear willingly if he is faced with true evil. Jason truly liked the idea of his swords appearing out of nowhere in his hands if he ever gets in a sticky situation and he began to wonder.
Would he stain his sword with his murderer's blood?
"Jason, are you feeling well?"
He snapped out of his thoughts and smiled at the guest he had been waiting for the past ten minutes. "No, I'm fine, Talia. Thanks…" He ignored the concern look from the heiress and he has to admit, he could never get used to those kinds of looks that Talia had been giving him. It was a look of pity, concern, sadness and love.
Talia caresses his back and gestures for him to take a walk with her around the place. "How are you, Jason? I heard you passed the Cleansing." She sounded impressed, almost proud.
"Yeah, the Cleansing wasn't that hard. Ducra says I'm the first human in a thousand years to pass it."
"Well, that is impressive, Jason. Even when I was student training here, I have never passed the Cleansing. I am quite impressed."
"Thanks." There was a moment of silence in the air as they continued to walk down the path until they found an empty bench by the training area. It was the usual place where they both talk and Jason was grateful that Talia took off some times from her schedule to visit him. He felt lonely since he was the only student there training there and the only human in the Acres of All.
Once the duo sat down on the bench, Jason heaved a sigh for the first time of the day and he received a questionable look from Talia. "After I'm done with my training here, I'm going to back to Gotham."
Talia raised an eyebrow at the young boy. Two months ago, even then, he still refused to go back to his hometown. She could see it in his eyes that he was homesick and missed his family but what's keeping Jason from going back home is his new memories that he never remembered having before his death. "This is a surprise. Last time I was here, you still didn't want to go back home."
"I— I need answers. I need to know." Jason couldn't stop his hands from trembling.
The Heiress placed her hands on top of his trembling ones. "I am positive that you would find your answers, Jason. I never told you this, but when you had died, Bruce became a mess, more violent and reckless than before. I was so sure that he would kill himself in matter of days since he blamed himself of your death. Months later, he came face to face to the Joker and he beat him till his bones was cracked and blood seeping out of its injuries. After that, he was less reckless, less violent and less likely to get himself killed. Whatever happened to him that night, I never knew."
Watching his mentor punch the living shit out of the murderer, he became horrified. Punch after punch, the only thing that was coming out of the scumbag was his lunatic laugh after laugh and the only thing he wanted right now was for the Batman to stop. His face was livid; his eyes were saying unsaid words and Jason felt helpless. All he wanted for his mentor to stop and before he knew it, he hugged his mentor from behind, slightly feeling the cape against his face. And the only words that escape his lips were, "Please stop,"
Jason flinched at the flash of memory; it made him tremble again. It made him slightly sick. He remembered the newspaper regarding the matter of the Joker being a body cast. He never properly read it though. "What happened to Bruce?"
"He became less reckless, less brutal and less likely to get himself killed." She noticed the flinch and knew he had sudden flash. Talia doesn't know the full details of his new memories since he refused to talk about it. It took her a moment to realize that Jason was staring at the manila folder she had in her hands all along. She handed it to Jason and watched him take out the pictures. "His name is Timothy Jackson Drake."
"—Drake. Call me Tim Drake for short."
"I'll make you proud Jason and thank you for training me too."
Flashes of different memories of the new Robin and the only thing that said were, "Replacement."
"Congratulation, replacement." And he witnessed the kid literally jumped from his seat. "Be a better Robin than me, Tim."
Jason stared at the picture before him of Robin with a grappling hook and looking fearless. He remembered a certain memory where he was training the new Robin with grappling hooks and he could never forget how he toppled over some of the things in the cave. He had never seen Alfred so livid before.
"I take it that you know the boy." Talia stated, judging from the nostalgic look from his face.
"I guess." He mumbled, continuing to stare at the pictures. He always knew that Bruce would replace him just like how he replaced the first with him. He dreaded that every day when he was a Robin after the Felipe Garzonas incident. Because after that day, Bruce refused to look at him in the eye, hesitant to take him to patrol and his mentor stopped spending time with him.
He was waiting for the inevitable.
A year has passed and it found Jason back in Gotham for the first time since he died. He could see, feel and smell Gotham, his home. Hello, Gotham, it has been a while.
It was about three hours since he arrived in Gotham and for the past hour he has been sitting on the ledge of some random building and eating his loaf of bread. He knew he was just stalling the inevitable, but still he was scared.
What was he really supposed to do once his feet first landed in Gotham? Go to the Wayne Mansion and be like,
"Hey guys. Guess who's alive? Well, I did die that one time but somehow something revived me, Talia found me and kept me for two years and then she sends me off to some magical assassin school which is pretty cool."
Yeah, fucking right. There was no way he could do that. The first thing he would do is demand answers first and then –he guessed— family time. It isn't like he hates his family; he just doesn't know how to deal with them and how todeal with these fake or real memories.
He never did quite found a compromise with those memories and the only answer he was given for said memories is that (and he quotes): "they are your memories of your afterlife".
In simpler understanding of what his mentor, Ducra, said (or her simpler rephrasing of said above quote): "You were a ghost, Jason." (And then she went off subject about fate and other things).
A ghost! Hah! That—that is quite a weird ass statement coming from his three-thousand year old mentor. Still, it made Jason's mind at ease with the new memories and kind of accepted the idea that he was a ghost before he was revived back from the dead.
But still.
Still.
He was scared.
He didn't want these memories to be fake.
He wouldn't be able to deal with it.
A year and half ago, after his little break down in front of Talia al Ghul at the hotel room, she taken him to the 'Hundreds Acres of All'. It was a sacred place for assassins to be trained at by the all mighty All-Caste whose purpose was to protect the people from the Untitled.
At first, he was hesitant because All-Caste was training him to kill and he had been taught to never kill from his first mentor. Eventually, he gave in because Ducra is the only protection he has from Ra's al Ghul who's going bat shit crazy over how his own daughter used the Lazarus Pit on Jason.
Talia still visited him, time to time whenever she could get the chance to get away from her father's radar. He was grateful of that because it sucks to be the only human at All-Caste.
Jason had to admit that he learned a great deal of things from his mentor, Ducra. She had helped him to see all of his memories through her mediation techniques and helped him how to cope with it. And for a thousand year old lady, she was really snarky.
When he finally put on his final piece to his All-Caste uniform, he automatically walked to the front of the sanctuary where his mentor, Ducra, was waiting for him. It has been six months since Talia dropped him off.
The place she dropped him was called, 'The Hundred Acres of All' and from what Jason knew, this wasn't on any map at all. He could be in a different dimension.
"Man-child, what could you be thinking seriously about?" Ducra had taken her mentor back into reality as he walked faster to reach her.
"I was thinking if this place is in a different dimension." Jason replied, hoping the old crone would finally answer his question. The moment he sees her sly grin, he knew she won't be giving up the actual location so soon. He was abruptly stopped by the site in front of him. His other All-Caste teachers were bowing down to him. The only thing that popped into his head, "Um… Thanks." He walked away after he bowed at his teachers.
"Wow. That really sent chills through these old bones with that soaring oratory." Ducra piped up sarcastically.
Jason could only roll his eyes. "You taught me how to be an assassin, old lady, not a public speaker." He heard the old crone guffawed loudly next to him as they continue walking down to the training area. "Between you and me, All-Mother?"
"Always."
"You had faith in me long after I had none of my own. You taught me that to give someone death is as intimate and private as giving him life. You showed me that past and present and future are not separate places—they are the All. For all those things and more I will be forever grateful, Ducra."
"But?"
Jason sighed as he sat down on the nearest step and gazed straight into his mentor's eyes. "I'm lost. I thought when Talia dropped me off here; I would've found my answer. I—And I haven't, Ducra. I haven't found peace with these memories that I don't remember having and they're still plaguing my mind ever since Talia revived my mind from the pit. It still scares me. And I thought with your teachings, maybe I could find peace but I couldn't." He sets his eyes down to the ground, unable to meet his mentor's eyes. He couldn't bear to look her. "I feel like I failed you."
He clasped his hands together, tighter than usual because he felt so ashamed. Even right now, just half an hour ago, he just passed the cleansing and he was the first human to ever pass. His head was brought up when he felt his mentor's hands holding his chin up to look straight at her. "Jason, this isn't about making you perfect. You may have flaws but that is what defines who you are. Do not give yourself a hard time because these memories of the past you don't remember. Man-child, if you want to find peace, once you are done with training, go back to Gotham. Find your family, talk to them and let them help you. Don't push them away."
He didn't say anything at all; too stunned to reply. Even so, he had thought up 'what ifs' of many confrontations with his family. The only thing he was frightened about is these memories being fake.
"This is just the beginning of your adventure, Jason. I'm sure you will be able to find peace with your memories and with your other mentor and your brother. Your heart is already shining brightly but there will be a day where your heart will shine even brighter and you will be glorious."
Jason heaved a heavy sigh. The words from his mentor is what is really driving him to confront Batman—his mentor, his guardian, his father. He needed to know the truth.
He gazes over the streets of Gotham, his mind going back to the old days when he was Robin. He'd like to admit that he did miss the life of the vigilante, taking the bad guys and receiving praise from the old man.
Ripping off another piece of his loaf, he popped it in his mouth and almost choked when he heard a familiar voice behind him.
"Hey kid, shouldn't you be at home? Your parents might be worried."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Of all the times he'd come back at Gotham, his first confrontation is dickhead Dick? It's a good thing that his hood is up and he really didn't want dickhead Dick to recognize him.
"My parents are dead."
"Oh."
Jason ripped off a piece of bread and chewed on it while his mind tried to calculate how far he could get away from fucking acrobat Grayson. He decided with his skills and with Grayson's skills, he wouldn't get that far. He could never outrun him, even when he was a Robin.
Stupid Grayson and his acrobatics.
"Kid, I— hold on a sec."
Jason turned around, curiously, to see what his older brother was up to. He grinned slyly, taking this chance to slip away by jumping down by the ledge to the balcony of an abandoned apartment before his older brother could turn around again. He was even lucky that Dick was talking to his earpiece with his back turned on him.
He quietly hid in the shadows, and he could still hear his older brother talking on the roof top. He could only get bits and pieces of what he was saying, but Dick sounded frustrated. He tensed when Dick had called him out and after a few minutes, he could hear a shuffle of feet on the roof and knew that Dick had finally left the building.
Jason heaved a sigh; he could hear his heart pounding. He still hasn't figure out what to do with his family and how to confront him. He can't hide from them forever. He tensed up once again, hearing the familiar roaring engine tearing down the streets and Jason could only wonder: does Batman know I'm in town?
The only person who knew that he was back in town is his second mentor and Talia al Ghul. So when the Batmobile continued down the street in high speed, Jason narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He knew that his mentor did not use the turbo engine for getting around unless something urgent is happening.
Jason climbed out of the window and to the rooftop and watched where the Batmobile was heading. And he followed it as accurately as he could. He should've ordered some grappling hooks from Talia before coming back. It was a usually the best thing to get by buildings by buildings. And he wasn't much of a pro at acrobats as Dick since he never used it ever again back at All-Caste. It only reminded him that Bruce was training him to be like the first Robin. And he hated that part of being a Robin.
He cursed when he lost the trail and scolded himself for getting sidetracked. He gazed over the road on the east, remembering the Batmobile heading that way. He didn't want to end up in the wrong place, but he had to take his chance.
He jumped roof to roof, until he stopped on the last building and quickly spotted the Batmobile in the alley. Jason couldn't help but grinned, bringing back old memories when he was little kid again and stealing the wheels off the man who would become his mentor. His mischievous mind kicked in, playing with the idea that he should steal the wheels off the Batmobile again for fun. Then again… the bats did add a new security system on the car. Next time…
Jason turned his attention to the pier with a bunch of warehouses which was usually used by bad guys to do their dirty deeds. It was a usual cliché place for drug dealers to receive their shipments, but Batman wouldn't need to use the Batmobile's turbo for this.
He surveyed the area closely, looking for any signs of his mentor or a bright blue insignia. There were too many warehouses in the area that they could be anywhere. Jason heaved a sigh and continued his search blindly. He should invest in some binoculars. Why didn't he get one from Talia before setting off to Gotham?
And as if Fate was on his side, he heard gunshots ringing in the air not too far from his location and he immediately climbed down the building hastily and sprinted to the area. Bang. Bang. Bang. He was getting close, the noises were getting louder and when he finally pinpointed the location, he could see flashes of light coming from the warehouse. Bang. Bang. Bang.
In the back of his mind, he hoped that they were alright. He surveyed the area around the warehouse and when he deemed it to be clear; he sneakily went up to the nearest window and peeked inside.
The first that caught his attention is Robin struggling out of the ropes while Nightwing and Batman were taking out the thugs left and right. He could take this opportunity to jump in anytime to help them out, but there was one person that made him freeze.
Jason heard a shrill maniac laughter inside the warehouse, all too familiar to himself and he felt a chill going up his spine. It can't be. The first time he comes back to Gotham, of all people, of all the criminals, he runs into his murderer, the Joker.
He stood frozen as he still watched the scene inside the Joker. He was still in disbelief, his mind, his conscious-self telling him that: this is your chance. Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it.
"Well, it's been fun boys; but I have other things to do, things to destroy, things to burn. You know the fun stuff." And it was followed by a shrill laughter once again.
"Nightwing, help Robin. I've got this." Batman ordered, taking out the thug behind his eldest ward and continued to fight the other surrounding guys.
Jason watched as the Joker took this window of opportunity to escape and he could hear his heart beating faster, faster, faster. He couldn't move when the clown made his escape to the door which was right next to him and Jason went completely still.
What am I doing? Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run after that psychotic clown, Jason!
It took him a moment to swiftly turn around and sprinted after the Joker. Jason could hear the faint warnings in the background from his family but he has to take this chance. He has to take it. Take it. Take it. If his mentor, his father can't kill the only crook that took him away from him, he'll do it himself.
The second Jason closed into the Joker; he tackled him to the ground hard and rolled until he pushed the clown to the tree hard. He quickly got up before the maniac can and god, he's wanted to do this for a long time. He punched him in the face. Again. Again. Again. Again. And again. He could feel his adrenaline rushing into his body like a tidal wave and every feeling he felt towards this murderer was met with each punch. And after each punch, the Joker laughs and laughs as if this was a big joke to him.
He felt a sudden deja-vu; he once saw his mentor doing the same thing before. He abruptly stopped half-way; his knuckle an inch away from the maniac's face.
"Hahahaha~ what's wrong hoodie? Why stop now when you look like you're ready to murder me."
Jason growled lowly. "Shut up!" He felt the hilt of his sword appeared in his hand. He can do it. He can murder his murderer. He can…
"Ohhh~ Hoodie? Where can I get the set of those magical swords? EBay?" His laughter was clouding Jason's thoughts. Slowly he lifted his sword, ready to strike at any moment given and stared down at the madman. All he had to was take his sword and pierce it straight into his heart. How hard can that be? He's just getting an evil that crippled friends, thousands that filled the grave and…
More laughter snapped him out of his thoughts. "Kill me! Kill me! C'mon, I know you want to do it. I can see it in your eyes…. Hey… have we met before? You look awfully familiar. Did we blow up a school bus together?"
Jason tightens his grip on the hilt. He could just shut him up right now. With just one plunge straight into his body and then… he's dead. Dead. Like how he was. "Shut up!" He growled and kicked him in the chest.
Joker groaned, coughing and smiling maniacally at him. "Hahaha, I'll take that as a yes then. We have met before! How interesting." He grinned wickedly at him and all Jason could do was glare at him.
Yes. Joker, we have met before. You beat me to a pulp with a fucking crowbar and proceeded to blow me up fucker. And now, I'm getting my revenge. All I have to do is…
But…
Would he stain his sword with his murderer's blood? Would he cross that line just to murder this psychotic madman?
He had always understood why Batman never killed the Joker. But ever since he received training from Ducra to be an assassin, all his thoughts would sometimes drift to what if—what if he would meet his murderer, would he take this chance to kill him? Would he take this chance to finally kill him?
Jason never really thought it through back at All-Caste. One part of him wants to kill him and the other just wants to be with his family, to find answers and to find if his memories were true.
He closes his eyes for a moment and drew out a breath before looking straight into the madman's gleefully eyes. He raises his sword—
"Kid, NO. Get away from him! He's not worth staining your sword!"
"Do it, kid! Kill me! Kill me! Hahahaha—you came back all the way from the dead to do this. Do it. Get your revenge!"
-high enough to hit him hard on his head with the hilt.
And the Joker fell to the ground.
He's just not worth his revenge anymore.
Jason walked away as he inspected his sword closely. To think the All-Blade would appear in his hand in front of the Joker. He felt his blade disappear slowly in his hand and he let out a breath. Tonight was his first night back at Gotham and it had gone hectic for him.
He should've just gone straight to the manor and wait for them to come back. But without tonight's events he would never made his decision if he should or should not cross the line to kill and get his revenge.
And before his family could reach him, he turned and made a run for it. After all of that, he couldn't—he can't face them anymore. He almost crossed that line. He thought about crossing that line. And with the training he received from both mentors, he wasn't going to use just to murder one man even if it was his killer.
He could hear a faint shout in the distance, "Robin go help Batman. I'll go catch this kid!"
And at the moment, Jason sprinted even faster while his hands rummage through his pockets for some shurikens. Because Dick is hard to outrun and the only way to outrun a vigilante called Nightwing was to distract him. Jason took this chance to look back and threw four sets of shurikens towards the vigilante and another. He knew his older brother could dodge all of weapons, but it still made him slowed down.
He quickly made a sharp left into the dimly lit alley and he quickly jumped to the nearest ladder and quickly jumped into the nearest opened window into someone's room. He was quiet enough not to wake up the stranger but he still looked down on the alley for any signs of his brother. Jason leaned more into the shadow as soon as Nightwing came into view.
He watched the vigilante blindly looking around the alley and eventually he heard a big sigh from Nightwing and he left. He was so close, so close that he could be just reunited with his family.
But they all saw me, trying to kill the Joker. How will they see me now?
It wasn't for another two hours that Jason finally leaped out from the stranger's window and jumped to the roof. Jason gazed over at the warehouse where it all happened and his mind kept replaying his encounter with the Joker.
It all seemed harder to him for him to go home.
Jason let out a sigh before taking out his cellphone and calling the only contact he has.
"Talia? I—I can't do it. I'm going back to Hong Kong."
"Wait, Jason, tell me what happen."
He bit the lower side of his lip. "I confronted the Joker and I tried to kill him."
"Did you?"
"God no! I didn't. How could I? Batman, Robin and Nightwing were all there and they were all witnessing me trying to kill the scumbag. I can't fucking face them after that."
"Jason, what are you worrying about? You didn't kill anyone tonight. You didn't cross the line. Just go and faced them. It'll be alright. Trust me."
He could just imagine the heiress caressing his scalp while comforting him. "I don't know…"
"Don't you trust me, Jason?" He could hear her smiling over the phone.
"…Yes."
"Then go to them. Bruce will never turn you away."
.
It wasn't long before he reached the Wayne Manor and he was pretty sure they were done patrolling the city. After all, it is six in the morning and he has not slept at all. Jason could've gotten here earlier, but he went to the nearest coffee shop for some coffee and bread. He needs his bread.
He stared at the door, long and hard, wondering if he should just go buy a plane ticket to Hong Kong right now. He heard they had some good bread over there. Hmm… But I do miss Alfred's homemade bread…
Before he even lifts his hand to knock on the door, it suddenly opened revealing his favorite butler and his favorite person in the world.
"Sir, how may I help you?" Alfred inquired, with his usual polite pose and with his indifferent face.
The smell of the Wayne Mansion overwhelmed him completely and flashes of his childhood appeared in his head. He was home. He was finally home. And Jason took his grandfather figure into a tight hug and realized how longed he wanted to do this.
"I miss you so much, old man!" He could feel the butler's hand peeling off his hood and a sharp gasp.
With a shaky voice, "My word! Master Jason!"
"Alfred! Tim needs your help. He got captured and I think he might've sprained his—" Dick came into a halt when he noticed another presence in the entrance. He immediately recognized the clothes from three hours ago who crazily went after the Joker, but when he sees the kid letting go of the Butler, Dick froze on the spot. It couldn't be.
Jason didn't realize his older brother was in the same room until now.
"Jason?" He could only stare at his older brothers as he slowly approach him. Jason stared straight into his older brother's widening eyes and shocked was sketched all over his facial expression.
"Jason? It's you right?" Dick inquired hopefully. He poked his little brother in the cheek and again for assurance that he wasn't hallucinating or seeing a ghost. "You feel so real…"
"I am real, you nutjob." Jason swatted his hand away and glared. "And what does that supposed to mean?"
And before he knew it, Jason felt himself being dragged away quite forcefully by Dick and he was immediately headed down to the Batcave. Once he reached the last step into the Batcave, he felt a wave of nostalgia hit over him. He remembered when he first wore his Robin suit; the first time he scared Alfred witless and yet he couldn't scare Bruce. Wearing the Robin suit for the first time ever, it was the best day of his life.
"Bruce. Tim. Look who it is!"
Bruce froze the instant his crystal blues landed on the boy, recognizing him, the clothes, his son. Tim was too busy gawking wondering to himself if he was real or not.
Tim was the first to approach him, despite the wrist injury, quite hesitantly before poking him in the chest. And again on the shoulders and on the cheek. "You're… you're not a ghost anymore. How were you able to materialize like this Jay?"
"What?" Jason looked up at his successor. He was unable to process the information as he could only think is: ghost. Could what Ducra told him is true? "What do you mean by that?" He demanded albeit too harshly.
The gun-metal blues of Tim widens by the demand as did Dick and Bruce. "Jason… you don't remember all those times we spent together when you were a ghost?"
"I—" He paused. Jason does remember and that's the only reason why he is here now. "I kind of do remember." He replied slowly. His heart started to beat faster and his only thoughts were about those memories how they might be real. All this time… he could've—
Jason was distracted by the sudden outburst from Dick. "Jay, that time when I saw you, you were a ghost. Because of you, I was able to reconcile with Bruce after that big stupid fight but most of all, I got you to forgive me for being the worst brother ever." He watched Dick's face contort into an ugly crying face; a rare sight to see. Jason could only watch dumbfounded and somehow this felt very deja-vu ish to him.
"You even congratulated me when I first made to be a Robin. You popped out of nowhere and told me to be the 'best Robin'." Tim piped up, cheekily. "Without you, I wouldn't have gotten over my fear of heights." It was the first time Jason seen the replacement in person and realized how did a scrawny kid turn into a more leaner, a little bit of muscles here and there type of guy?
Jason snorted, "Yeah because you refused to go grappling in the streets and we had to use the cave as a practice ground."
Tim glanced at him sideways before inquiring, "How were you able to come back, Jason?"
"I crawled out of my coffin, hanged out in Gotham for two years before Talia found me and shoved me a year later at the Pit." Jason explained, nonchalantly. Silence hung over the air and he wondered if he had said something wrong.
"It is Jason!" Dick claimed once again before engulfing the once lost ghostly boy into his arm and Jason returned it awkwardly.
This is the first time that he ever hugged his predecessor before. Back then, they weren't this close to even hug each other but now Jason felt a tingly warm feeling inside and he somehow felt as if he had done this before.
Jason felt his older brother's body freeze before pulling away and Dick grasped his shoulders and looking him into his eyes. "Jason, you were there tonight, weren't you? You were the one who took down Joker." It was more of a statement than a question.
And Jason felt his heartbeat going faster and faster, thinking he might have a heart attack. So many things were running through his mind and for one thing, it was only the recent events he kept thinking about.
"I—" Jason was too speechless to even say anything. He didn't know what to say. Yes, he almost went through with his revenge because he had the window of opportunity to take out the scumbag for good, but he didn't. "I— I didn't mean— Yes, I did wanted to kill him, the Joker, to get rid of the evil scumbag and to go through with my revenge."
Bruce took this chance to step forward and wiped any tears falling down from his son's face. "But you didn't kill him, Jason. You had an opportunity but you walked away."
"B-Bruce! I… I almost killed him. I almost went against your morals. Don't you hate me for that?" Jason now felt his tears trickling down from his eyes. And before the young boy knew it, he was pulled into a hug, from his mentor, his father. This was the only thing he wanted to do; he yearned to do ever since he came back to life.
"I could never hate you, Jason. You are my son. I am sorry that you had to face him on your first night back." The older man hugged his son even tighter, because his boy went through so much, suffered so much.
There was no words exchange as Jason savors the moment because Talia was right. Bruce would never turn him away and all this time, he was thinking his plan B if things went wrong.
And all this time, he could've gone straight home with his family from the very beginning.
"Welcome back home, Jason.
End
Credit to RHatO#5 and Under the Red Hood for the dialogues. Anyways guys... I am sorry if the ending felt rushed... because I did rush through it and ugh I kept changing the chapter every time I look at it. And I am forever unsatisfied by the ending. I am sorry again. Originally, I was planning to have Jay to be killed again because I'm cruel like that but Jason deserve all of the happy endings. I'm sorry if I disappoint you with my 2nd chapter. Originally, this story was suppose to be really humorous but instead I just turned it into an angst fest. But no worries guys, I'm writing another one-shot; featuring all of the Batfamily (+Outlaws) and another one but I'm not really too sure if I want to write it anymore tho. I think it might turn into a drabble, a very angst drabble. haha. Peace out guys!