Disclaimer: If I was making any sort of money from this, would I be working on Black Friday at midnight?

The day seemed to drag on forever, Eli swearing that the clocks had stopped moving a few times. He needed them to get to 5 o'clock but the one in his room was stubbornly staying at 4:17. It had been like that for at least an hour, at least it felt like it. Eli pulled a hand through his wet hair nervously. The shower was supposed to calm him down but it had done little to help.

He was seeing Holly J today, really seeing her, for the first time since she left. He needed to talk to her, explain his reasons why he didn't show up that day and hope against hope that she would forgive him. If she didn't… the thought scared him. He told Clare that he needed to get closure, but if he was honest, he didn't want closure. He needed Holly J in his life. They had grown so close over the summer and he couldn't just throw that away.

He knew he needed to be careful though. He was with Clare again and just because Holly J was back for a few weeks didn't change that. Flicking through his closet, Eli chose a black v-neck shirt and his black military jacket, dark grey skinny jeans and black shoes. It was slightly reminiscent of what he wore on their first official date and he knew that he might seem a little overdressed for just coffee, but he didn't care. Holly J was special.

Dead Hand pumped through the speakers in his room as he pulled a comb through his raven hair, his signature sweep second nature to him at this point. The clock read 4:35, proving itself working. A touch of eyeliner finished the look. He was ready. Grabbing his wallet and keys, he switched off his stereo and made his way down the stairs.

"You look like you're going somewhere," Bullfrog commented, flicking through the mail as Eli entered the kitchen for a bottle of water.

"I'm meeting a friend for coffee," Eli simply explained.

"A friend," not a question, a statement.

"Holly J is back," Eli sighed, not really wanting to discuss this with his father. Bullfrog let out a hearty chuckle, nodding his head.

"That explains it. Does Clare know you're meeting up with Holly J?"

"Yes, she does and I explained to her that I needed to do this." Bullfrog shrugged silently. Eli really didn't need anyone thinking that this was anything more than coffee. He wasn't doing anything wrong.

"There's an envelope for you," he said as he handed his son the small package. Eli took it and his eyes immediately went to the return address. He swallowed hard.

"This is it," he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he tore open the envelope. Bullfrog watched, a small smile forming as he saw the excitement and pure joy take Eli over. "Dear Mr. Goldsworthy. We are excited to tell you that you have been accepted into the incoming class of 2012 at Southern Connecticut State University! Enclosed you will find the student handbook, a catalog of our course offerings, a guide to financial aid, and a contract for housing. We look forward to meeting you on freshmen move-in day, the 17th of August. Classes start on the following Monday, so don't delay! Congratulations again and welcome to SCSU family!" he read, every word making him happier than the last. "I got in!"

"That's fantastic, Eli! I'm so proud of you," and Bullfrog wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a warm hug. Eli couldn't control the smile that had spread across his face. His number one school, his long shot, had accepted him. "So, are you going?"

"Yes, yes, of course I'm going," he said, laughing. A lot of people, at least the people he had told he was applying, thought that he wanted to go just to be near Holly J, but the program he was going into was fantastic there and it was a great school over all. Toronto was his home and would be forever, but Eli knew that he needed to expand his horizons. He wanted so badly to look over everything and figure out where he was going to live, but the clock on the wall, that once never moved, had started moving too quickly. "And speaking of going, I'm going to be late."

"Don't want to keep the princess waiting. Go, have fun, celebrate," Bullfrog laughed as Eli ran out the door.

xxxxxxxxx

The drive to The Dot was a short one, as always. Eli's mind was buzzing from all the excitement. He wanted to tell Holly J so badly, but he didn't know where exactly he stood with her and if she would take the news well. Clare didn't even know that he had applied and he knew that she wouldn't take the news well. This was one of the happiest moments of his life and he couldn't share it with anyone. Parking Morty across the street, Eli opened the door to the café, feeling the warmth wash over him.

He spotted her instantly, sitting at their booth in the corner, a few papers strewn over the table and no doubt a latte at her side. Holly J looked up when the door opened and smiled lightly at Eli. He signaled to her that he was going to get himself a drink before he joined her. She quickly gathered up her papers and put them back into her bag, making room for him at the table.

"Hi," she said lightly as he sat with a plain black coffee. He offered her a warm smile, still excited from his news from earlier.

"Hey, thanks for coming." Her hair was a little longer than it was over the summer but it suited her. She had dressed in a black pencil skirt and a dark blue blouse, bringing out the color of her eyes. She looked gorgeous.

"It's no problem. The hallways of Degrassi aren't exactly the best place to have conversations," she joked, "So, what did you want to talk about?" Holly J hoped this conversation was going to be a short one. Eli was with Clare now and that had nothing to do with her.

"How are you?"

It was a simple question, but coming from him, it was like handing her a loaded gun. Holly J had been very good at putting on the air that she was okay and she had moved on, but he had hurt her more than any other person before. Her smile slid from her face and she looked at the table, trying to figure out how best to put this.

"Um, well… to tell the truth, Eli, not well."

Eli knew this was coming but he didn't expect it this early in the conversation. Holly J never did like to beat around the bush though. He took a long sip from his coffee, not wanting to say the wrong thing. He leaned his head down, forcing her to look him in the eye. She finally met his gaze and Eli could see the intensity inside of her. His news got pushed from his mind instantly, her pain taking precedence.

"I spent weeks trying to figure out why you didn't show up when I needed you the most. I still have no fucking idea why. After an entire summer together, after how close we had been, you just abandoned me. No goodbye. No calls or texts. The only way I still knew you were alive was because of Facerange. Finally, I just put it behind me and started enjoying school. But then, seeing you with Clare yesterday, it just brought everything back. It fucking hurt… almost as much as when you didn't show up," she spat out. Every word had venom in it, designed to break him down. "Why, Eli? What was so much more important that you couldn't…"

"Because I couldn't watch you drive out of my life. If I would have shown up, there is no way I would have let you get on that plane," he interrupted, his voice a little louder than he intended. The few tables around them got quiet and he swallowed hard, waiting until the chatter picked up again. "Holly J, you were the most important person in my life. I couldn't lose you." He had to make her understand. He couldn't go through losing her all over again. If he had been there, things would have been so much worse for both of them.

"Maybe that moment wasn't about you. Maybe you could have been a bigger man and put someone else's needs before your own." Eli sat back in his chair, dumbfounded. It's not like he felt good about not coming through for her and he didn't really need this additional punishment. Holly J looked down at her hands, blinking back the small line of tears that formed at her lash line. The scene broke Eli's heart. He never wanted to be a reason for her to cry.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, Holly J, but please understand that I really don't know what I would have done if I would have seen you. It tore me apart when you left. That day, I spent all of it at the statue. Even though I knew you were gone, I hoped more than anything that you would appear on that path and come sit with me in the palm of the hand. I believed that if I sat there long enough, you would show up. I didn't leave my house for a week after that, not until school started. Adam had to tell Fi to not talk about you around me. I had to cut myself off or…" and he couldn't finish the thought. Holly J took it all in, hating that her anger was melting away. It was easier for her to be around him if she was angry. She knew he wasn't happy about the break up, but she never imagined that he took it harder than when Clare screwed him over. She looked at him, sitting across from her instead of next, his shoulders hunched in defeat. The sight scared her and she wanted nothing more than to reach over and hold him.

"It's fine," she said gently after a moment, "It just sucked not knowing why."

"I never meant to hurt you, but I couldn't be there." Holly J nodded softly.

"Just…" and the words got lost in her throat. She took a breath to clear her head and said what came through, "Please, don't abandon me like that again. I need you in my life, Eli."

"I won't. I promise I won't." and he started to reach over to hold her hand, stopping himself and spinning the ring on his thumb instead. That wouldn't be allowed anymore, not with Clare. Holly J didn't miss the gesture and met his gaze, her eyes sad. He couldn't do anything, not even comfort his friend. It angered him to no end. "What were all those papers for?" he breathed, unable to bare the silence that had fallen between them.

"An internship in the summer. I need letters of recommendation. That's why I was at school yesterday," she answered after a long sip of her latte.

"Oh, in New York?"

"No, here, in Toronto. I would be working on a mayoral campaign. I really wanted to be back here for the summer," she explained, a small smile on her face. Even if her and Eli ended up as just friends, she wanted to be near him again, at least for a little bit.

"I'm sure you'll get it. You're the best person I know," Eli said with a smile. Holly J worked harder than anyone he ever knew to get exactly what she wanted. They would be crazy to pass her up. A light blush flowered over her cheeks and she had a hard time suppressing the smile on her face.

A/N: The chapter that just wanted me to keep going and going and going! I seriously rewrote the end about five times over three days. Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVELY REVIEWS! I read and freak out over every single one, so, please, leave a review, even if it's just a short note letting me know what you thought. I also love talking with my readers, if you didn't know, so feel free to drop a line over on my Tumblr! See you guys next week!