Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara

Renatus

Chapter 2: Friends

She is five years old, and she has never been so nervous.

It is Kyoko's first day at kindergarten, and she sits kneeling on the scratchy surface of the circle-rug, her hands clasped into tight little fists on her knees. Around her, other children sit in a circle. Some chatter excitedly to each other; others sit in intimidated silence much like Kyoko is doing. A couple of them are still in tears and refusing to join the circle; Kyoko is vaguely aware of the teacher trying to calm them in the background. Through her anxiety, she feels a flash of disdain. She is nervous about her parents leaving her in a strange place, worried about meeting other children her age for the first time, yes; but she would never make such a fuss in front of everybody.

She stares at her hands, still balled up on her legs in front of her, avoiding eye-contact with any of the other kids. She thinks about the teacher to try and calm herself down. Nayoko Katsushika. Short-haired, pretty, with a kind face, who said "Nice to meet you!" to all the children and smiled as they greeted her. Not Mommy, though, not Mommy—and she thinks of her mother, helping her pack all of her school supplies, and of her father, handing her a lunch box for the day. Mommy, giving her a goodbye hug at the door; Daddy, patting her head and telling her she will do well. Tears almost well up in her eyes, but she holds them back. I will not cry; I will not cry.

"Okay!" The teacher—Miss Katsushika—walks over to the circle, now leading the two formerly sobbing children by the hand. She gently brings them into a gap in the circle and sits them down on either side of her. Then she claps her hands together. "Class has officially started, so let's all get to know each other. We'll go around the room—each of you say your name, and something about yourselves. I'll go first—my name is Nayoko Katsushika, and I am a kindergarten teacher."

She looks down expectantly at the child sitting on her left. The little girl looks up at her with red-rimmed eyes, and Miss Katsushika smiles encouragingly. She looks around nervously at the rest of the circle, who have obediently fallen silent, draws in a shaky breath, and says in barely a whisper: "My name is Kimiko Sugiyama. I like to draw."

"Good job!" Miss Katsushika beams. "Next?"

Kyoko watches and listens as her classmates say their names and a fact about themselves one by one. "Kazuo Kimura. I have a dog at home." "I'm Chouko Tsukino, and I can ride a bike!" "My name is Akemi Sato. I like to sing." "I'm Toru Kitagawa. I have a big brother and two big sisters!" She is almost on the other end of the circle entirely, so she has a while to wait until it is her turn. It is good to have something to focus on other than her nervousness, but after a while her mind begins to drift. She gazes out of the window, not really paying attention anymore. She goes over what to say in her mind, so she won't forget when it's her turn. My name is Kyoko Tochigi, and I love the color purple.

She echoes the phrase over and over. My name is Kyoko Tochigi, and I love the color purple. My name is Kyoko Tochigi, and I love the color purple.

"My name is Kukai Soma, and I love sports!"

Her gaze snaps forward. There, right in front of her, sits a five-year-old boy with ruffled brown hair, green eyes, and a huge grin on his face. Kyoko's mind flashes back in an instant, calling up an image of a young preteen in the Seiyo Academy uniform, wearing a blue cape.

"The Jack's Chair: Kukai Soma. I'm a sixth-grader, and captain of the soccer team!"

So this is what Kukai looks like in real life…as a five-year-old. Kyoko stares transfixed, temporarily forgetting her shyness, repeatedly going over images of an anime-Kukai in her head and comparing them with the boy sitting in front of her.

All of a sudden it's too much for her. Too many surprises; too much change. Meeting new people was supposed to be the goal for the day—recognizing old faces from a past life is a step further, one that she isn't equipped to deal with right now. Kyoko drops her gaze, shakes her head, clenches her fists tighter in front of her.

The room suddenly goes quiet. It's her turn. It's her turn, and she is not ready. She can't remember what she's supposed to say.

A few seconds go by. The teacher prompts her gently. "Kyoko? Can you say your full name for us, please?"

She looks up. Everyone's eyes are on her. She looks at Miss Katsushika's kind face, silently encouraging her. She breathes in, breathes out, tries to speak—and promptly bursts into tears.

(...)

This is something even I cannot come up with a theory for.

At the time, my head was spinning in circles, trying to process this information. I remember struggling to make sense of it, but being too overwhelmed with confusion on top of all the other emotions of the day. My five-year-old brain just couldn't cope with it.

Even now, I don't have a single logical explanation. It's one thing to be reborn into an alternate universe and retain all the memories of your past life. It's another thing to be reborn into the universe of an anime you used to watch as a kid. And it's a different thing altogether to be placed in the same timeline as one of the main characters. The one that happened to be my old self's fictional crush.

I highly doubt that it's a coincidence. But I also don't know what else it could be. None of the laws of the universe have ever worked so conveniently.

Then again, I don't exactly know what the laws of the universe are anymore.

(...)

She is seven years old, standing outside on the soccer field. She and the other first-graders are just learning how to play. Kyoko only half-listens as the teacher explains the rules. She's too focused on trying to remember why she already knows what they are.

I…used to watch someone play this game. I watched them all the time.

The teacher drops a soccer ball onto the ground. "I'm going to demonstrate how to properly kick it." He takes a few steps back.

Who was it…?

Time seems to slow down as the instructor runs towards the soccer ball in several long strides. Kyoko watches, transfixed, but it's not the teacher that she's watching anymore—it's someone else. Someone familiar…

His foot makes contact, and the ball goes flying, straight into the soccer net.

Kyoko blinks. She's not at her elementary school's soccer field anymore. She's in a high school stadium, sitting on the bleachers, surrounded by people cheering for the person who just scored. As Kyoko watches, he turns his head, grins, and gives her a thumbs-up.

That's right. I used to have a brother…a big brother who played soccer.

Her classmates take turns kicking the ball one by one. When it's Kyoko's turn, she snaps out of her daze and slowly walks forward. She never kicked the ball herself, but she watched her brother many, many times. She remembers how it was done.

I can do this.

She takes a deep breath, runs and kicks. The ball goes sailing into the net.

Over the next few days, the first-graders practice playing soccer in gym class. Some are better at it than others. While Kyoko's skill level is truthfully no higher than most of her other classmates, her advanced knowledge of the game makes it appear as though she has a natural talent. She is no more enthralled with sports now than she was in her past, but to everyone else, it is as if she took to soccer like a fish to water; thus when asked to join the junior soccer team, she agrees more out of a sense of peer pressure than because she actually wants to play. Regardless, from then on she is always part of a soccer team, and for a while she is regarded as one of the best players in her year.

After all, she and Kukai are the only ones who were able to get it into the net on their first try.

(...)

Any way you look at it, I am an unusual person.

I'm the kind of person that blends into the background and is never really noticed. I'm okay with that, for the most part. It makes it easier to overhear things when no one thinks anyone's listening. I have trouble talking to people at times, though. I've learned to cover up my shyness with bluntness, but that can put people off in a different way. Luckily, I still have my best friend Suki, who I met in my early days at kindergarten, and she's all I really need. For some reason she still wants to be around me even after six years. I'm grateful for it, though, so I don't question it.

That sounds a bit harsh, but I'm just being honest. Having another set of memories means that I can draw upon knowledge that most people wouldn't have at my age. It sets me apart from my peers, and it's difficult for me to relate to them because of that. But it doesn't mean I'm smarter or more talented than anyone else. I knew the basics of soccer before most of my other classmates, which gave me a temporary advantage. As soon as my teammates mastered those skills, though, they caught up to me pretty easily. They have a passion for the game that I lacked—that I still lack. I play soccer because it's something I happen to be good at and relatively enjoy. They play it because they love it—because it's a central part of their lives.

Especially for Kukai. Sports are his life; you can just tell by watching him. If I truly love anything about playing soccer, it's the fact that I can play with him. He's never happier than when he's on the field, and he gives it his all during a game, no matter what. It's…captivating. At least for me.

"Kyoko, your crush is showing."

Kyoko stopped typing and glared at her computer screen, not even bothering to look in the direction of the speaker. "I told you not to read this over my shoulder, remember? I'll let you look at it when I'm done."

"Not that I blame you. He is pretty adorable on the field, after all."

"Go away. I need to concentrate." It was already a lost cause. Images of Kukai kept flashing in her mind with perfect clarity. Kyoko gritted her teeth.

"…and off the field, too, I suppose. And pretty much anywhere, really—"

"Mary!"

Kyoko spun around in her chair just as her Shugo Chara flew several feet backwards and safely out of reach. She let out a little giggle in midair, and Kyoko sighed.

"Man…how could anyone ever put up with more than one…?"

Mary stuck out her tongue. Kyoko rolled her eyes and turned back to her computer, prying her mind away from any and all distractions.

The truth is…I don't know if this life is ever going to feel completely real to me. It's difficult to see things as reality when the world I'm living in feels so much like fantasy. My old memories are constantly intruding, and sometimes, more than anything, I want to go back to the way things were. I suppose that's why Mary exists.

Mary, my Shugo Chara, was born when I was in third grade…the first time I realized how much I wanted my old life back. Not just that; I wanted to be my old self. More outgoing, more playful…and strange, apparently. I never realized until I viewed it from the outside how strange of a person I was. Not weird, exactly…just unique. It's hard to describe my old particular brand of uniqueness. Still, I missed it. I missed being that person. And that's who Mary represents—the person I want to be; the person I used to be.

And as much as she gets on my nerves at times… I really do love having her around.