My Final Days

by tgoben94

As the Battle of Hogwarts rages on the dead welcome the new dead to the after life. Lily Potter find boy in particular who is struggling with his death as an attempt to cheer him up, she tells him the story of her own death. I don't own this particular HP idea. I would like to thank JK Rowling for her inspiration and contribution to reading and my love for writing.

2. Tuesday Blood and First Steps

Chapter 2

"Tuesday blood and First steps"

Sleeping on the thin mattress was the equivalent to sleeping on the hard ground. Harry was standing in his crib as if nothing had happened. His innocence was pure. James and I would always prepare for the day when we have to teach our son about defensive spells. I didn't want to think about the reasons why he would need to use them but part of being in the Order is to protect the next walked upstairs to Harry's humble yellow room. James ran his wand along the top of the wolf, it ran to the side which let open the doors to our freedom. I was so tired and sore that I wanted to take a nap. We had other things to worry about. We had to call Dumbledore, and Pettigrew. Albus would be worried if he hadn't heard from us. James and I exchanged glances as we walked down stairs. We were scared of what we would find of house. If it was in shambles or still standing. No, we found something worse. "NO! NO!" James ran to the kitchen where a pool of blood was gathering like ants drawn to food. Sirius's body carelessly laid amongst our cold tile floor.

"James what happened?" I was fighting the urge to cry. I couldn't bear this sight. I set down Harry in a clean spot on the floor and placed my hand against the wall for balanced. The entire room was spinning, Harry was crying and grabbing my leg so I would hold him. I couldn't move, my body was frozen and then it happened. He coughed, just one cough but it was enough to bring James and I back to reality. Sirius's steel colored eyes focused on the ceiling.

"James I know you love me but I would like to breathe." James dropped is weak body on the floor and laid himself against the wall for support. His hands were dripping red and blood stained. His wrinkled white shirt covered in crimson coloring. Sirius laid passed out on our floor, we levitated him to the guest bedroom. I turned to the portrait of James's parents and nodded twice. Pettigrew was one nod, Albus two nods, Ted Tonks was three nods and then finally a young man by the name of Arthur Weasley who live a couple blocks away with his wife and six sons and newborn daughter was four nods. James' dad, Ralph and mother Evalynn, left the portrait and slowly walked down the gravel path. It would take awhile for Albus to gather the group so we used this time to mend Sirius as much as we could."Guys I'm fine, really. It's just some cut's and scraps."

"James, can I go?"

"Yes," James looked up at me so he could see how I was doing, "you can go." I got up and left the room all the blood was making me dizzy. The panicked look on my husbands face brought memories.

*Flashback*

Sirius looked like he'd seen a ghost, which wasn't very uncommon they were always roaming around. He was sitting in our kitchen with his face in his hand. His eyes blood shot and hair looking slightly similar to my husband-to-be's hair in the morning. He was breathing heavily and looking like he was about to pass out. "I can't believe this, we were always so careful James."

"Sometimes accident's happen Sirius. It's not your fault unless..."

"Don't even say that, I am not ready to be a dad yet. Not like you."My fiancé was talking about having kids on our first date. Wanting to have them right away.

"Yes, I know you were never very good with kids. Remember my nephew you almost dropped."

"Don't remind me, ahhhhh, I can't believe this!"

I touched my fiancé's shoulder as if we were tag teaming the combined relief effort, "Sirius, sit down," he was standing with the chair kicked back and heaving like he prepared to fight someone, "babies are hard work, but when you see it, and get to hold and love it, and think of names everything changes. You feel like a sudden rush of love hit you as you look at it. Like a protective love. You get to name it, its the most amazing feeling ever, I can't wait for ours to come."

"WHAT!" Oh no, I hadn't quite gotten around to telling my love that I was now 2 months pregnant. I turned to face him, he was sitting on the floor in the fetal position, "James I was going to-"He held up one finger.

"Our wedding is in one week and you didn't tell me I was going to be a father?"

"James please understand, I was scared, I thought you'd leave!"

James stood up in silence, walked over to me and knelt down. He slowly lifted up my shirt to where part of my belly was put his forehead to it and whispered, "Can you hear me?" Then he looked up at me, stood up and took my face between his hands, "Love, How could I ever leave you?"

*End of Flashback*

I stood at the top of the stairs and stared into the yellow light. I snapped out of my trance when Harry let out a small whine. I walked down the stairs towards my fat boy sucking his two fingers, picked him up and held him close, "You were the best surprise a mother could ask for." Harry looked up at me and his green eyes sparkled a sparkle no one could forget, "Harry James if you have that sparkle when you're older, you're going to drive girls crazy." He let out a big giggle as I lifted him in the air. "You're absolutely perfect."I set him on our kitchen floor and prepared for lunch. I got out left over from the dinner we never ate last night. All of sudden I felt the urge to look at Harry. He was standing up and grasping the chair for dear life. "JAMES!" I wasn't thinking when I screamed out, it might send my husband into a panic. It wasn't only him that came down though, five boys with wands drew came charging the stairs. First was Albus, then James, then Peter and Arthur were carrying down a wounded Sirius.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING!" All the boys, minus Sirius, was poised for a fight.

"Ummmm...boys put your wands down nothing's happening, except James your son is about to walk." Sure enough the moment everyone turned to see him, Harry let go and stepped forward. The room was quiet. I slowly bent down and held out my arms as he wobbled into them. The room erupted into loud cheers, and then rushes to grab Sirius who was accidentally dropped during the celebration.

After we got Sirius in bed and drew straws for who was going to take the rap for magically sealing the door shut, Arthur, we all had a massive lunch of veal, potato's and much butterbeer. After we all figured Sirius was out cold we discussed what happened the previous night; the death eaters, Sirius being so gravely injured, and how they found Sirius.

"Albus are we still safe?"

"James I don't know."

"HOW DON'T YOU KNOW! YOU'RE THE HEAD OF THE BLOODY ORDER!"

"James calm down!"

"NO, I WON'T LILY! I MOVED HERE TWO MONTHS AGO BECAUSE WE WEREN'T SAFE LILY, OUR SON WASN'T SAFE! NOW DUMBLEDORE TELLS US HE DOESN'T KNOW. WE MOVED HERE, LEFT OUR FRIENDS, OUR FAMILIES, OUR BLOODY LIVES!" James collapsed on the chair and put his excessively red face in his hands. He was sobbing.

"You're not safe." We all turned our towards the stairs where Sirius was leaning against the corner. Half holding his weak body and the other half was showing off how unweak he is. His hair was crusted with blood so clumped strands dangled in front of his tired grey eyes. "My brother found me on the street corner, bleeding and whimpering after the many curses I just-"

"And that's why you should still be in bed."Sirius shot Arthur a death glare, one that if you're receiving you'd most likely run, but Arthur sat staring him down as well.

"Like I was saying, after Regulus found me he told me four words, 'You have a rat.' I still don't know what he means but I believe it means that someone among us is trading secrets."

Albus had beed silently pacing across our kitchen floor for hours. He looked worried for the future, frightened for our sakes, horrified that someone would betray their friends, and most of all completely perplexed on what to do next. "It's a code word, all right." Peter sifted around in his chair, acting as if he was uncomfortable with the situation. "It's a different code word...are you sure Regulus said, 'rat'...How can we trust him though, he's a death eater...We won't follow this...no we won't, it's to dangerous." Talking to himself as if no one was there, he was, by this point, completely mad. So was James.

"Oy, Dumby, we are still here," James popped off, "this really isn't the time to be plotting to yourself," James was now standing, "you know with not one, not two, but three lives, innocent lives at stake."

"James go take a walk-"

"NO NOT WITH OUR LIVES AT STAKE! LILY I...I CAN'T DO THIS! MY BEST FRIEND ALMOST DIED, OUR SON CAN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE, WE CAN"T LEAVE THE BLOOMIN' HOUSE BECAUSE IT'S TO DANGEROUS, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

"James where are you going?"

"To find Remus!."

"Why."

"I need him." Just then my husband in all his anger slammed the door shut and apperated. I put my head in my hands and began hold back painful sobs.

"Excuse me, umm, I need to change Harry." I picked up my son and left the room. As I walked through the hallway I saw our moving pictures, James holding Harry, me holding Harry, James and I, all of us. Harry began to get fussy so I quickly scampered into his room. When I laid him down a thought came over me. I fell to the ground and began to sob unceasingly. I couldn't do this, I was so tired of the nightmares, the paranoia, I just couldn't-

"Lily? Are you o.k?" Despite my blurred vision I clearly made out the young face and red hair, Arthur. He came over beside me and sat down. I gravitated my weeping body to his. "Look, I know this is hard. I can't imagine what you're going through. Can I tell you a story, about my children?" Through the sobs I managed a weak yes.

"It was a few weeks ago and Ron was playing with Charlie's new dragon, this one was relatively tiny compared to the other dragons we bought him-"

"Arthur dragons are illegal."

"Stuffed. Anyway, Ron decided to take, Saph, the dragon, for a walk down Doolittle abbey. Of course, he didn't tell his mum or I before he took off. He was gone about a good 5 hours. All of a sudden my wife, Molly dearest, let out the most obnoxious, pitchy, eardrum splitting, dog whistle of a scream. In a moment she was crying and screaming utter gibberish while tearing up our home.

"WHERE IS CHARLIE'S DRAGON!"The women's red fuzzy hair was sticky straight out because she had been pulling on it so much. She would flipped the couch cushions up. As they began charge the picture frames, old and very deceased family members would scurry out of sight. 'Molly where's our younger son?' 'I don't know, I think he's in his room-' Then she saw it. The door was cracked open and one of Ronald's shoe stood in between the door frame and perpetual freedom. The whole world was opened to a 17 month old child. A child was running around Ottery St. Catchpole, barefoot, alone, only protection is a stuffed dragon, that breathed out little flames. Molly took off in a shot, out the front door and down our stoney path. Screaming Ronny's name down the up streets, up the down streets and sideways down the through streets. Everywhere and everyone could hear my deranged spouse screaming my missing son's name. Fredrick Gideon and George Fabian, my twins, soon ran out the door with not one article of clothing on except battle swords tied to their waist with rope and soap in their hair. They had just taken there third bath of the day. I honestly didn't really think much of it, except the neighbors were going to think we were nutters letting our children run around in the nude, outside in the cold, after a bath. I jumped out of my chair and grabbed my bare skinned twins out of the cold and carried them quaffle style back in the house. After three other boys there is a tactic to this style, one under each arm. I set down those mischievous twins and began to have a little chat.

"Freddie, George, who left the door open?"Two big blue sets of eyes stared up at me portraying innocence, that we knew could not exist in those two boys.

"Not us papa."

"One of you had to."

"Yet daddy-" said George.

"We can't even-" said Fred.

"Reach the door. We could if stood on top of each other."

"Well, did you George."

"Dad I'm 3."

"What about you Fred?"

"Dad I'm 4"

"No, you're 3"

"Mum says I'm odest."

"You are-"

"So I four."

"Then what I am I," George chimed in.

"You're the same as your brother."

"Oh," both said in completely unison.

"So who left the door open?"Just then both of my sons took off running. I looked down and saw a sight that brought a great relief to me. A little ginger head sticking out from under the chair. Ron. I picked up my snoozing 17 month old and carried him to bed. I told my eldest to watch his siblings while I go and look for his mother.

"It took me 2 hours to find her. She was in the pub searching under every table. When I told her where he was, she began to cry. I asked her why and she said, 'Even though I had 5 other sons, losing one would be unbearable.' I realized then how hard it must be for you and James to have your one and only son's life on the line. It made me hurt for you guys."

I looked at the ginger man who had tears beginning to have tears well up in his eyes, "Why did you tell me that."

Arthur took his burly arms and enclosed me in tight hug. "In the end no matter how hard life is, you must remember the moments you are blessed with. It is easy to lose track of them. Then you have to pick your self up and get on with life." He let me stay there and cry in his arms. Harry began to get fussy so he got up and began to change him.

"Arthur you don't have to do that."

"I know but I want to. You go eat, I got this."

"Thank you," I didn't realize it was already dinner. I walked down the stairs and there was chicken and mash potato's waiting for me on our table. Everyone had left to leave me and Arthur to watch over Harry. I looked down on the table and saw I note.

Lily,

Went to go look for James, he hasn't come back yet. Dumbledore has cook you some chicken I don't know if the bloke knew what he was doing, so be careful. If it's non edible there's left overs in the fridge. Most of all we want you to know you are not alone in this. I know that's what you feel and what you're telling yourself, stop. You have never been nor will be alone in this. They are saying he's getting weak. This could all be over soon. Eat up you need energy to take of that little one. Arthur is staying because he is the only one adequate to help take care of Harry. I love you.

With much Hope,

S.B

P.S. No one knows where Remus is. So don't be you and think you can do this all on your own, ask for help.

I held onto the note as long as I could before my stomach took control of my thought process. I had cried and panicked so much today that I was completely famished. While eating, my surprisingly good chicken and potato's, I kept thinking about what Sirius said, 'there's a rat' played over in my head. I dropped my fork. No, it couldn't be...would he do that...if so, what made him? I dismissed the parade of thoughts going through my head. I felt sick. I heard the door open. "Arthur?" He called back from Harry's room. Maybe it was just the wind. Then the window creaked, I proceeded over to it. When I looked out I saw a strange light. Blinking in my general direction, like a code. R-A-T. It was like a stone hit me. I was right, I had to be right. "Peter! How could he?" I went and sat back down at the kitchen table to finish my meal, yet suddenly it wasn't very appetizing but I finished it anyway. After I rinsed off my plate, I went to checked on Harry. Arthur was standing there with my child past out in his arms. "Arthur. I think it was Peter."

"What do you mean."

"Sirius said that Regulas had told him we had a rat. Why not use spy? It got me thinking that he used that word as a code like Albus said."

"I can see that. So why Peter?"

"When James and I were engaged he told me a secret that not only he could change over to animal state."

"Who else can besides Sirius and James?"

"Lupin is a werewolf and well, Peter."

"Let me guess Peter changes to-"

"A rat."

"Merlin's beard how did we miss that."

"He's one of James' closest friends why wouldn't we trust him"

"Lily go to bed. You are tired. I believe you...I mean it makes sense. But, go to sleep. You might think differently in the morning."

"I'm going to fold laundry first. My minds racing to much for me to sleep."

"Fold laundry...like...by hand?"

"Yes, I just need to be muggle."

"O.k. Night Evans." I went down stairs to our dryer, my parents bought us, and pulled out the warm pile of different clothing. As I carried them to the couch, my mind couldn't stop thinking and processing why he did this or would do this. James reached out to him at Hogwarts made him cool. Maybe that's it...Maybe it's because he felt so inferior to the boys that he wanted to get back at them. I rested my head on the warm laundry and closed my eyes for what I thought was a quick moment.