Disclaimer: I don't own JLU, Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, or Disney's Gargoyles (of which I've borrowed many ideas, especially from the episode 'The Mirror.)
Original Prankster
Chapter 2: Playtime
"Er…what just happened?" John Stewart asked. The Leaguers looked at each other and then turned their heads to stare at the dark haired woman in blue and red spandex. She blinked her blue eyes and stared back at them.
"What the…?" the Kryptonian woman gasped. "You've all changed genders!"
There was a very long pause.
"Um…guys? Why're you all staring at me?" Clark asked. Everyone continued to gape at her.
Bruce Wayne rubbed his forehead and muttered a curse. Wally began to snicker and was quickly elbowed in the ribs by Zatanna. Confusion passed over the female Clark's face.
"His memories were altered," J'onn stated. This time the snort of laughter came from Oliver Queen.
"This isn't funny Ollie," Diana rebuked. The Green Arrow held up his hands in defense.
"Okay okay," Ollie amended. "It's just that he…er…she…thinks that he, she…dammit!"
"Has always been a woman?" Wally offered helpfully. The speedster winced when the Green Lantern smacked the back of his head. John glared, not quite sure how either Wally or Ollie could find amusement in the situation. Wait…was Shayera trying to hide a smirk too?
Okay, make it three idiots who couldn't sympathize with Clark.
"What are you saying?" Clark asked carefully. She crossed her arms and tried to glare sternly at them. To her surprise, the males in the room froze while the women gave her bemused looks.
That was odd, even Bruce seemed somewhat wary of her.
"We're saying that you're supposed to be a man," Zatanna answered. "Luthor must have used the mirror to…"
"Why would Luthor turn him into a woman?" Black Canary questioned. The others looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
"To embarrass him?" Ollie suggested. "Who knows? I think Brainiac screwed up his mind."
"I'm telling you that I'm not a man…!" Clark protested.
"Save it Kent! Your memories were altered," Bruce glared. There was a pause as the billionaire thoughtfully eyed his friend. To what extent had Kent's memories changed?
"Kent, what gender is Lois?" he asked.
"Male, why?" Clark asked in confusion. Bruce smacked his forehead and swore incoherently. John groaned.
"Er..I take it that's the wrong answer," the Kryptonian said. Both Ollie and Wally hid identical smirks, but Shayera failed to stop a snicker. This time it was Diana who sighed.
"Hera," the Amazon muttered. "Give me strength."
"A woman. Lois is a woman," Bruce sighed. "You're in love with a woman, what does that suggest Kent?"
Clark's face flushed bright red. Bruce sighed again as Wally began to laugh hysterically.
"You're not a lesbian Clark."
…………x……………
"I'm boooored!"
Lex ignored the fae as he tapped his fingers on the keyboard. To be honest, now that he could wish for anything within Puck and the mirror's power, Luthor was somewhat at a loss of where to begin. There were so many options.
Not that he'd admit that though. Lex Luthor was supposed to be the man with backup plans for the backup plans.
Except, unfortunately, this time he didn't. Tala had sprung the idea on him a few days ago. Intrigued, Luthor had agreed to 'liberate' the mirror from the museum.
"Whatcha looking at Lexie?" Puck asked. Lex gave a start when he realized that Puck was standing on top of his head. Long silver hair obscured his view of the computer as the fae bent down to peer at the monitor screen. Oddly enough, Lex barely felt the weight on his head.
"Puuuck," Luthor warned. "Get off of my head. Now!"
"You don't have a plan, do you?" Puck gloated, floating into the air. The fae snickered when Luthor whirled around in his chair to glare up at him.
"Of course I have a plan!" Lex snapped.
"Uh huh."
"Are you asking for trouble Elf?" the human snapped angrily. The fae's face lit up in delight. Lex raised an eyebrow before chuckling dryly and crossing his arms. He leaned back in his chair and regarded the fae with a smirk.
"Of course you are," Lex answered himself, "you're Puck."
The fae watched curiously as the human stood up and began to pace thoughtfully around the room. When he was sure Luthor wasn't looking, Puck glared darkly down at the partially iron chain that bound him. Unfortunately, the mortal had fastened the chain to the chair. Puck was unable to escape.
Or was he?
Puck's eyes twinkled mischievously as he pointed two fingers at the chair. With a puff, the chair was transformed into a mere two inch version of itself. Satisfied that he had successfully freed his chain from the now minuscule chair, the fae snickered with mirth.
By this time Lex had noticed Puck's little escapade. The fae watched in great amusement as the bald headed man turned around, his mouth gaping wide in surprise. With a wink and a cheerful smile, Puck zipped out of the room.
The fae whistled to himself as he floated through the Legion of Doom's headquarters. The furious bellowing of a one Lex Luthor could be heard even several rooms away.
Oh, the fae knew that the spell invoked through Titania's mirror prevented him from straying too far from Luthor without his permission.
That didn't mean he still couldn't have fun though.
…………..x…………
Clark Kent stared at the images on the computer screen. Bruce had pulled up past images and video clips of the Kryptonian.
Cripes. She was supposed to be a man.
Which, actually, led her to a rather embarrassing dilemma. It hadn't taken the Kryptonian long to realize that she lacked some support in a rather awkward area. Whatever spell had been cast, its caster hadn't seen fit to include a bra in with the deal.
"Er…Shayera?" Clark asked hesitantly. The Thanagarian woman was, at the moment, the nearest female that Clark felt reasonably comfortable in confiding this secret to.
Unfortunately, a certain Scarlet Speedster was also lounging in a nearby chair.
"Uh…" Crap. How was she…he…whatever…supposed to ask this?
Shayera Hol looked expectantly at him. Clark felt her face redden and she cleared her throat uncomfortably.
"Ah…well, uh…" she stammered. Finally, at a loss of what else to do with Wally, Clark simply sighed and pointed an accusing finger at the Scarlet Speedster.
"Hey!" Wally protested loudly. "What'd I do!?"
Shayera glared at him. The Flash zoomed off.
"So…" the Thanagarian asked. "What did you want to ask me?"
Face flushing in embarrassment, Clark gestured for her to lean closer. The Kryptonian whispered in her ear and explained the problem in a stammering voice.
"Oh," Shayera answered. "Oh!" After a pause, she too reddened in embarrassment. The Thanagarian regarded the other woman as she unconsciously pulled on a strand of red hair.
"Um…." she continued. Damn this was weird. "I think we'll need to talk to Diana, you two are probably closer in size," she finally said. The red in Clark's face deepened. Shayera forced herself to hide a snicker at his discomfort.
After all, borrowing a bra from Wonder Woman could hardly be the highlight of Superman's career…even if he was temporarily a woman.
…………..x…………
Puck peered curiously around the corner. Having turned himself invisible, the fae watched as Legion members went about their business. What mayhem could he cause before Luthor summoned him back?
The fae winked out and reappeared in a corridor on the west end of the compound. Looking around he spotted a set of restrooms to his left.
Puck smiled and floated through the door of the women's restroom. He paused, and disguising his voice as a woman's, called out.
"Hello? Anyone in here?"
No one answered. The faerie gave a satisfied nod and floated back out into the corridor. He turned to face the door of the women's restroom and stretched out his hands.
"Beware, she who enters here; for Puck has determined, this fun you should not fear. There shall be one, where once there were two; as the British would say, two doors…one loo."
Magical green light bathed the entrance to the women's restroom and subsided. Grinning madly, the Puck sat floating in the air and waited.
...x...
Volcana raced madly past rooms. Wincing, she willed herself to go faster. There was one around here, she knew it…
Aha!
The villainess sighed in relief as she finally spotted the women's restroom. She practically flung herself through the doors, vowing never again to consume energy drinks. The blasted things went straight through you.
"The hell!?"
Volcana froze. An array of urinals lined the left wall while only a few stalls were to the right.
Atomic Skull and the Mirror Master also happened to be using the said urinals. It was in fact they who had yelled at her.
Volcana swore, turned around, and ran back out. She whirled around and stared at the door she had just run out of. The sign said 'Women'.
The hell? Muttering darkly, she ran into the room marked 'Men.' Some joker had undoubtedly switched the signs…
Volcana came to a screeching halt. She was back in the men's restroom. Atomic Skull and Mirror Master were staring at her again.
"What the hell Woman!?" Atomic Skull yelled. Volcana let out a frustrated scream as she hopped back and forth on her feet.
"To hell with this!" She screamed. The villainess pushed past the two men and flung herself into an empty stall.
Puck flew somersaults in the air as he laughed to himself. What else, oh what else could he do? There was so much and so little time!
The fae came to a halt as his eyebrows lifted in mischief. There was a human book he'd read once. What was that character's name again? The one that haunted a toilet?
Aha! Moaning Myrtle! That was it!
The Puck flew into the men's restroom and deposited himself, still invisible, into an empty stall.
"It's not my fault!" he heard Volcana yell. "I tried the door that said 'Women's restroom' and I came in here!"
"Then why didn't you go to the other one!" Atomic Skull bellowed back.
"I did you jack ass!" the woman retorted back. Fire engulfed her hands as she glared threateningly at the two men. The trio froze when the restroom door banged open to reveal Killer Frost standing at the entrance.
The pale woman surveyed them all coolly. There was silence as she turned and left, only to reappear seconds later.
"I told you!" Volcana shouted again, pointing a finger at Atomic Skull.
"Listen you…!"
At that moment, Puck decided to test the toilets…all of them. In a fountain of watery glory, water spewed up from the toilets and rained down upon the villains in a cold torrent. Deciding that wasn't enough, he also made the paper towel dispensers go haywire.
Paper towels flew around the restroom in a frenzied tornado.
Volcana shrieked. Atomic Skull cursed. Mirror Master whimpered. Killer Frost glared coolly about her.
Cupping his hands to his mouth, Puck began moaning in a loud, eerie voice.
"A GHOST!! RUN!!" Mirror Master screamed. There was a stampede as the four villains rushed out of the restroom.
Puck perched himself on top of a sink and laughed merrily.
……………x………….
Lex Luthor ground his teeth. Damn that elf! He slammed his fist down upon a table.
"I'll kill him," he growled.
"He can't have gone far," Tala told him calmly. "The spell prevents it."
"You said that I could control him!" Lex snapped. The sorceress refused to rise to the bait. Instead, she placed a calming hand on his arm. Luthor took a deep breath and forced himself to cool down.
"That's better," Tala said.
"How do I get him to come back?" Lex finally asked.
"You just have to summon him."
Lex smirked darkly to himself as he debated on how to punish the fae. The leader of the Legion of Doom suddenly raised his eyebrows when the sounds of distant screaming reached his ears.
He and Tala looked at each other.
"What…?" she started to ask. There was a loud 'bang' as Volcana and Atomic Skull blasted through the wall.
"Haven't you people ever heard of doors!?" Lex yelled. The two villains ignored him and began gesturing wildly towards the direction of the restrooms.
"A ghost!" Atomic Skull shouted. "There's a damn ghost in the bathroom!"
"It did something weird to the women's restroom door!" Volcana wailed. "It only leads into the men's room!"
"I think you've found Puck," Tala remarked dryly.
……………..x…………..
"Hmm…I wonder what all the commotion's about?" the Penguin questioned. The fat man ignored a psychotic laugh from the clown next to him.
"No doubt Luthor's new pet is behind it," the Joker grinned. The Penguin adjusted the lens on right eye and gave the other man a quizzical look.
"New pet?" he questioned. Joker leaned back in his chair and crossed his right leg over the other.
"Tell him Harley dear," the clown commanded. The woman to his right enthusiastically jumped up.
"Right away, Mr. J!" Harley Quinn answered cheerfully. She reached into an oversized red purse and pulled out a large picture. Dancing over to the Penguin, she paused on one foot and unrolled it.
"Tada!" She held the photo out to the overweight man. The Penguin leaned closer and adjusted his eye piece again. The photo showed the image of an elf-like creature emerging from an ancient mirror.
"Intriguing," the Penguin muttered. "How long ago was this?"
"A few hours," a new voice piped up. "And it's been ever so much fun!"
"Eeep!" Harley jumped and hid behind Joker. The Penguin rubbed his chin thoughtfully as the Joker began to laugh madly.
A silver haired elf was floating in the air before them. A thin metal chain bound his upper arms to his torso. A long piece of chain trailed behind the strange creature like a leash.
"I believe introductions are in order," the Penguin said calmly. The elf creature gave a charming smile as he landed and bowed dramatically.
"I am Puck," the fae answered. "And I already know your names."
"Puck?" Penguin asked, surprised. "As in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'?"
"The very same," the fae smirked. "Although the story itself isn't true." Blue eyes twinkled as the faerie bounced lightly on his feet.
"To what do we owe this pleasant surprise?" the Joker asked. He was in fact quite pleased. He'd been wanting to get his hand on Titania's Mirror ever since he'd discovered that Luthor was after it.
"Puck will have to be brief," the fae answered apologetically. "The Bald One wants him back." Puck winked out and reappeared next to Harley. The woman squeaked when she found the fae sitting nonchalantly on her shoulder.
"I have a challenge for you," the fae added cheerfully, looking at the Joker.
"A challenge?" Penguin echoed. The Joker smiled and leaned towards the fae.
"Go on," Joker urged. The fae grinned mischievously as he clapped his hands together as if in prayer.
"I want you to play a game with me," he answered. Harley and Penguin gaped at him as the Joker continued to smile.
"Games!" Harley exclaimed. "Ooooh! I love games! I…"
"Hush Harley dear, let Mr. Puck continue," Joker reprimanded, waving her off. The young woman shut her mouth and peered curiously at the fae still perched lightly on her shoulder.
Puck leaned closer to Joker. His eyes danced with hidden mirth.
"I challenge you to the Laughing Game," the faerie said. The Joker blinked and gave a wry chuckle.
"The Laughing Game he says," the clown laughed, looking at both Harley and Penguin. "Doesn't he know that I'm the master at laughing?"
"Not you," the Puck corrected. The Joker looked at him. Still grinning, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
"Well then my pointy eared friend," he said. "Just how does this Laughing Game work?"
"It's simple," Puck answered. Green sparks flew as he clapped his hands together twice. The Penguin forced his face to remain impassive as a stone image of Luthor emerged up from the floor. The fae then leapt gracefully off of Harley Quinn's shoulder and landed on top of the Luthor statue.
"The object," Puck continued, raising a finger, "Is simply to make Lexie Boy laugh. The first to do so wins." To demonstrate his point, the statue of Luthor began to laugh hysterically.
"Intriguing. Intriguing," the Joker said cheerfully, gesturing with his hands. Bringing his hands together, the clown peered over his fingers at the grinning fae. "I enjoy a good joke as much as the next man, unless they're dead of course, but what do I get out of playing?"
"Yes," the Penguin finally added. "What are the terms, if I may ask?"
"Why, the terms are simple!" Puck exclaimed with mock surprise. He tapped the stone statue and it stopped laughing. The fae balanced himself on the nose of the fake Luthor, his arms outstretched like fake wings.
"If I win, you have to tell me a secret," he said. The Joker gave him a considering look before smirking slyly.
"Any secret?" the clown asked craftily.
"Yes," the fae answered. "But it must be one I don't already know. If it is one I do know, you must keep telling me secrets until I find one that is new."
"How do I know that you won't be lying?" the Joker asked with dark humor. "Maybe I'll tell you one that you don't know, but you'll claim to have heard it." The fae smiled.
"The terms of our agreement will be bound by magic. If it is one I don't know, my magic will not compel you to continue."
"Hmm…" the Joker stared at the elven man. This really was intriguing. It may even be fun. However…
"And if I win?" he asked. This was, after all, the most important reason for the criminal.
"If you win…" here the fae leaned dramatically towards the psychotic clown. "I'll tell you the true identity of one member of the Justice League." The Joker's eyes widened as Harley gasped.
"The Bat?" the Joker violently grabbed the faerie and pulled him close. The clown brought his face up the fae's and glared darkly. "You'd tell me the Bat's name?"
The faerie disappeared from the Joker's grasp and reappeared just out of arm's reach.
"One member," Puck restated firmly. "Puck will not say who. If you win, you'll find out."
The Joker stared at him, intrigued.
"Um…Mr. J?" Harley asked hesitantly. "You sure you want to do this?" The woman gazed with barely hidden uncertainty at the magical creature. The fae gave her a charming smile and she felt her distrust evaporate.
"Come come my dear, what's the harm? It'll be fun!" Joker exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. He began to chuckle darkly as he eyed the bemused faerie.
"Well then," Joker said, holding his hand out to the fae. "What're we waiting for, the Bat to spoil the fun? Let's get this party started!"
"Knock him dead Mr. J!" Harley cheered.
"In time, perhaps," Joker agreed. "But not yet. It's not nice to kill such a charming guest when you're first making a deal, Harley dear."
Puck smiled as he clasped the Joker's hand with his slender one. Green light flickered over their clasped hands.
"PUCK!"
Puck and the Joker looked to their right to find an irate Luthor glaring across the room at them. The faerie gave a mischievous grin as he zipped over to Luthor, the iron chain flapping behind him.
Dark, psychotic laugher filled the room as the Joker advanced towards Luthor and the fae.
"Puck," Luthor growled, warily eying the clown. "What did you do?" The faerie shrugged his shoulders innocently and gave a saintly smile.
"The Laughing Game… is about to commence," the Puck answered cheekily.