Disclaimer: Neither I nor Higitsune own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter. If we did, Ginny wouldn't have survive the Chamber of Secrets debacle.(Neither would Ron, because he's just annoying.)

WARNING WARNING THIS IS A CRACK FIC

This fanfiction is a collaboration between myself and my Beta, Higitsune. Thank you, Higitsune!

Chapter 1: Cruel to be Kind… Kind of.

Zero twitched slightly as he caught sight of the chaotic mess that the Night Class dorms had turned into over the course of one night. It was roughly quarter past seven in the morning on the fourth of September and none of the night class had stirred since they had collapsed into the provided beds. Yagari had cracked open his eye and scowled before rolling over and going back to sleep, ordering Zero to wake him and the Night Class up at quarter to eight. (This had been at five in the morning. Vengeance! Nobody laughed at him and got away with it, for he was Ichi-... Zero. He was Zero. He reinforced the wall that separated Ichirou from the rest of his mind again.)

Now, the question remained… how was he going to wake everyone up?

Zero reached for Bloody Rose, smirking as he used the vines that Cross wanted him to learn to control to tug several of the vampires halfway out of their beds before allowing the vines to retreat under his skin. He aimed at the far wall and fired, hiding the gun behind his back quickly and donning his best innocent expression as the Night Class students flailed around on the floor or fell out of their beds. Pandemonium reigned for a few minutes as he stalked across the room to wake Yuki (She was immune to Zero's favourite tactic, seeing as he had used it on Cross most mornings until she had learned to sleep through it.) He grabbed the edge of the mattress and lifted the side, forcing Yuki to roll onto the floor and wake up, confused. Zero turned around and almost smiled at the dumbstruck or panic-stricken vampires still running around before firing again, this time at the ceiling in an effort to avoid injuring them. (It had nothing to do with Yagari's bedroom being up there. Nothing at all.)

The panicking students froze. Zero felt the vampires turn their attention to him as he gave out orders to the bloodsuckers.

"Clean this mess up. You might be beasts in human form, but I had thought you better than pigs. Seems you managed to prove me wrong yet again. Oh, by the way… breakfast started ten minutes ago. You might want to hurry up."

Senrei muttered something derogatory about Zero's parentage and buried his face under his pillow while Adio proceeded to prove that survival instincts could be ignored, even in the face of death.

"Kiryuuu-kun, why the hell are we getting up at twenty past seven? Breakfast runs till half past eight, and I'm still tired" Adio whined.

"Unlike you, Aido-san, some of us have better things to do with their mornings than be stared at by a bunch of wizard brats. Besides, with all this extra time in the mornings you might actually burn in the sun if I'm lucky. That would be amusing. In any case, I'm going to go and wake Yagari-sensei now. If you aren't ready when I get back… well, why don't we find out? Senrei-kun… I'll deal with you later. Remember that you'll be dealing with curious wizard brats for the entire day. No killing, maiming, asking about blood types – this means you, Aido-san. Yes Kuran-kohai? …you don't need to raise your hand, Yuki-kun. This isn't a class room."

Entering the Great Hall with Hermione pulling Ron behind him at twenty to eight in the morning, Harry slowly made his way to the Gryffindor house table before slouching in his seat. The new students were sitting at the Gryffindor table, seeing as it was mostly empty. Almost all of Gryffindor got to sleep in after all, unless you were friends with Hermione Granger. Most of Ravenclaw were sitting at their table, some engaged in a debate and others reading while they ate. Some Hufflepuff students were asleep at the table, some face down in their food. Slytherin had most of the upper years drinking their coffee while younger years blinked rapidly in an attempt to stay awake. The staff table consisted of Professor McGonagall, Snape (who appeared crankier than usual, a sure indicator of a Slytherin who had yet to be given coffee) and Professor Trelawney in one of her rare appearances in the Great Hall, with a bottle of sherry in front of her.

The transfer students were mostly awake, some appearing more tired than others. The kid who had been shoved off the carriage the night before by their teacher was sleeping, having pushed an empty plate out of his way so he could rest his head on his forearms. The other students appeared highly irritated, although one seemed almost terrified of the silver haired boy. Two of the girls in the group were chatting next to the frightened student, occasionally reassuring him as he clung to the pigtailed girl. The third was also sleeping next to a tall, brown-haired boy who was gently attempting to wake her.

He had to admit to himself, the students from Cross Academy were all very good looking. Maybe he could… No. Think of Cedric. Think of Sirius. He had to learn to defend himself and defeat Voldemort this year, not date. Maybe once he had defeated Voldemort… or he actually gathered his Gryffindor courage. The boys in that group looked kind of scary...

The brown-haired boy next to the sleeping girl was now glaring at him, apparently attempting to Avada Kedava him with his eyes alone. The new students were definitely scary.

Yagari shuddered, feeling the eyes of several students swivel to look at him. Zero had woken him up once at five in the morning then dragged him out of his nice, comfortable bed and shoved him into a room of confused Night Class students who flinched at loud noises and jumping whenever they saw a somewhat Zero-shaped shadow. After convincing Senrei off the chandelier and getting lost several times in this labyrinth of false steps and dead ends the group of tired, hungry people had made it to the Great Hall. Yuki was being carried by Kaname, having fallen asleep around the third or fourth time Yagari had checked the map. They sat at the Gryffindor table this morning, seeing as Zero had chosen it as his seat for the morning.

He had to make his way past his misbehaving students (stopping to slap Zero on the back of the head, which gained him an outraged glare from the bushy haired brat behind him with the redhead attached to her.) He sat in the open spot farthest away from the more elderly staff members, while still keeping him away from the drunk* and the dark-haired man.

The chill down the back of his neck as he hunched over his food told him that Zero was staring at him with Very Bad Things in mind. Usually, that just meant death and destruction, but this time it was slightly different. It was reminiscent of the times when Ichirou had been alive. Zero had followed his little brother like a devoted, overly affectionate guard dog, snapping at anyone who got too close to his brother. He remembered when Ichirou had been sick and Zero had refused to allow anyone near them or go to school. The decision had been enforced with knives stolen from the kitchen and a yelled "We can take care of ourselves!" from behind a barricade of furniture stolen from the living room. His parents had been more than a little amused and simply checked up on Ichirou when Zero was asleep and made sure that Zero knew how to look after his brother. He was kind of glad that he had never had to attempt to separate the pair at that age.

He was of the mind he'd have lost more than just an eye in the attempt.

Hermione Granger was furious. This- this man dared to claim he was a teacher? He had just hit one of his Students. Teachers had a Duty to their Students (and, okay, maybe Professor Snape wasn't the best at this, but he had never harmed one of his students) and this man had just –

Okay. Breathe. Think before you act.

"Ron." She started as they walked over to join Harry, "don't you think that the transfer teacher's behaviour is just a little… odd?"

"Hermione," Ron said. "It's breakfast on the first Saturday of term. How do you expect me to think this early in the morning when I haven't even eaten yet?"

"He just hit one of his students!"

"So? Snape does as well, not like you ever let us complain about him. I swear you're just looking for something to be wrong."

"It's Professor Snape, Ronald, honestly. Remember our first year? Second? Third? Or perhaps you remember last year, Ron! V-You-Know-Who is back. He killed Cedric, and he almost killed Harry! What if this is another attempt on Harry's life, there's only been an attempt to kill him every year so far - and if you two would just pay attention for once then Professor Snape wouldn't have to remind you two to keep working. Maybe you'd get better marks if you just listened to the teachers every once in a while. I'd like to see how you managed if I wasn't around to correct your essays and do your research for you, you ungrateful…" Hermione sighed, realising that Ron had long since returned his attention to the food laid out on the Gryffindor Table. Surely Harry would at least listen to her concerns though.

It was approximately fifteen minutes to twelve and Senrei was not moving. He was curled up on the top of a bookshelf in the Hogwarts Library, praying to the Ancestress** that Zero didn't look up. He'd hid up here shortly after nine after one of his muggleborn fan girls had escorted him to the Library. Zero had wandered in around ten thirty, settling down to read directly under where Senrei was hiding, causing the aristocrat to begin praying with unprecedented fervour. He had to wonder where Zero was getting the new piles of books from every so often, but put it down to this being a school of magic.

He really hadn't meant to say that. Let's face it, it had been quarter past seven in the morning and he'd been ripped away from his nice, warm bed with only a few hours of sleep. (Also, Zero was kind of scary when he was angry. Right now, he was angry at Senrei. This was not conductive to his continued health. Or y'know, life in general.)

Senrei was a Noble type Vampire. His father had been a Pureblood type Vampire and his mother a Noble type Vampire. His father had been the one to arrange the murder of the Kiryuuu parents and Zero had killed his father a few months ago, getting vengeance for his family's deaths. Senrei wasn't quite sure if the animosity Zero had felt toward his father would be extended to include him and his mother. Zero's actions towards him had changed little, but considering that Zero already regarded all Vampires as something to kill on the earliest possible occasion…

He felt someone grab his ankle and jumped, succeeding only in rolling off the bookshelf onto Zero. He tensed, fully expecting to hear the click of Zero loading the Bloody Rose, an anti-Vampire gun. When he didn't hear it, he cracked open one eye, fully prepared to run at the first opportunity. Instead he was met with Zero's most deadpan look, the one that questioned not only your sanity but your intelligence, survival instincts and genetic heritage.

"Senrei-kun…" Zero began, raising an eyebrow (How does he do that, anyway?), " …is there something you aren't telling me? Because while I am bisexual, I'm not particularly attracted to you …and I think Rima-san would be disappointed. Isn't she your... friend?"

Senrei blushed, scrambling to remove himself from the library as quickly as he could, brushing past a bushy haired girl (Geez, she had big teeth. Reminded him a little of a beaver.) who turned to yell at him before being stopped by Rima.

"Senrei-kun! I've been looking for you. Is this where you were hiding? We went down to the lake for a walk, there's barely any sun at this time of year. You should have come walking with us… besides, when Zero's angry, it's safety in numbers." Rima frowned; finally noticing Senrei's traumatised expression. "You ran into Zero, didn't you? Oh, Senrei-kun…"

"Yeah, I did. On that note, did he ever actually like Yuki-sama? Even when she was…" He glanced around, gauging the likelihood of someone over hearing, before dropping his voice. "A human? He said something earlier…" His blush from a few seconds ago rose, a hand reaching up to brush his fringe out of his eyes.

"Oh? Senrei-kun… what did he say that's got you all flustered?"

"Nothing. Just… answer the question, please. I'm still not sure quite what… Zero-san, he, uh… nothing happened"

"Tell me Senrei-kun. Please?"

"Nothing happened. I-I'm fine. So, did he ever like Yuki-sama?"

She frowned, likely deciding whether she should hound him about this later of if she was satisfied with what information she had wrung out of him. He hoped it would be that latter – she had half of his stash of pocky packed in her bag, and he didn't know when he'd be able to get more. He'd run out of room in his trunk after packing some of Ichijo's manga he'd borrowed for the trip over to Hogwarts.

* Professor Trelawney is the "drunk" that Yagari refers to at breakfast.

** The Ancestress is seen as the "mother" of all "pureblood" vampires. (Vampire Knight Cannon)

Hi readers! just a friendly reminder to please review with constructive criticism for me and Higitsune. As for flames, we've recently stocked up on marshmallows...