Disclaimer: Do not own.
The following morning was… fuzzy. Honestly, there was no other way to describe it. Zuko, thanks to his super-human firebender, "I-rise-with-the-sun-and-yet-am-not-a-morning-person" powers, awoke as the first rays of the sun hit the sky.
Now, in hindsight, that was his first mistake. His second, was stretching as he yawned into the silence of the early pink dawn. But really, that can be excused. He was, after all, largely hung-over, slept on (what he thought was) an oddly shaped log, because he was nowhere near his tent when his eyes opened, and he was sore, trying to remember the events of the previous evening. Groggily, he sat up on his "I-swear-I-thought-you-were-a-log!" That was Zuko's third, and seemingly final, mistake.
"What are you doing?"
Apparently, waterbender's did not experience hangovers. Nor did they let the early hour keep them from physically beating a certain firebender off her sore and aching stomach, and water-whipping him as he yelped, too hung-over to firebend, still too sleepy to panic, as much as Katara wanted him to, and still too drunk to think of a tactical way out of this situation.
"You slept where?"
"I swear! I didn't know it was you! I thought you were a log!"
WHACK. Wrong answer.
"Why would you think that? Idiot!"
"I- I think I accidently gave you guys cactus juice last night!"
WHIP!
"I'm sorry! You felt all hard and stiff!"
"Excuse me?"
Oh Agni. Now he was going to get it. He ducked behind rocks, trees, and even Aang, which only served to displease Katara further ("If I hurt him, it's your fault!")
Sokka and Toph watched on, as the prince of the Fire Nation, heir to the throne, the Avatar's firebending teacher and the only person to have defied the Fire Lord and lived, was nearly brought to tears by an angry waterbender.
"I hope they don't make a habit out of this. I need my beauty sleep."
"I'll say."
"…. That was unnecessary, Toph."
He winced as her fist connected with his arm. For a helpless little blind girl – he shot a sideways glance at the earthbender. He felt unsafe even thinking of her as a helpless little blind girl. And he wouldn't be surprised if the human lie detector could read minds too. And Toph's devilish smirk was not helping.
"Katara not the face! Anything but the face!"
"You know, as the Avatar, I really should put a stop to this." Aang said mildly, as Katara proved she had been listening to Zuko's firebending advice – "always aim for the groin Aang. You can't go wrong."
"Nah." His friends chimed in.
"Ow! Ow! Katara! Please! The face! The face! Go back to hitting the face!" If anybody cared for him up there at all, could they please, please strike him down now? Agni, could he please get sober enough to firebend back at her? Hiding behind twelve-year-olds was getting humiliating.
"You can't hit the scar! That's against the rules!"
"Oh, I make the rules, Zuzu."
Ouch. He was guessing the offer to heal the scar didn't stand anymore, now did it?
"Ugh! I wish I didn't have the stupid scar! Maybe then you wouldn't be going so crazy!"
"What?"
Ohhhhhh… This was going to be too good.
Zuko doesn't want his scar one bit
So for now let's get rid of it!
A puff of blue smoke and a flash of white light – and Katara erupted into a coughing fit. Zuko mildly patted her back, only to be glared at as Katara raised her hand to poke him in both eyes at once when –
Her jaw dropped. She was looking at a god.
"What?" Zuko asked, tentatively.
"Zuko?" She asked incredulous.
Zuko's look of confusion deepened. Maybe the cactus juice was kicking in again.
"Who else would I be?" he asked gently. She was finally calming down, and he was going to do anything to keep her that way.
"But- but" she spluttered. "You're BEAUTIFUL!"
And she promptly burst out crying, and hugged him round the waist. The cactus juice was definitely kicking in.
"What?" Aang shouted, running to tear the two apart. He was the Avatar! Nobody was allowed to exceed him in prettiness. (This was, unfortunately, Fire Lord Ozai's final thought before scarring and banishing his only son.)
"Wait wait wait a minute!" Sokka announced. "Zuko wishes for his scar to be gone, and suddenly it disappears? I wish we didn't have to endure Zuko's tea and we get cactus juice instead?"
He paused for a moment.
"There's some more freaky bendy magic going on isn't there? Okay, wise guy whose magic bending! I wish for a double – no triple decker sandwich with tender lizard-chicken and lion-beef jerkey!"
Toph sighed.
Whip up a sandwich that can't be beat
And give Sokka some food to eat!
"OH MY GOD!" Came Sokka's cry, followed by "Thank you The Universe!" as he began scarfing down what might just be the most deliciously tender sandwich ever.
"Wait, what's going on?" Aang asked confused.
"So, so pretty!"
"You guys don't like my tea?"
"Magic bending spirit! I am the bridge between our two worlds! I am the avatar! Teach me magic bending O mighty spirit!"
There came no reply.
"Pretty, pretty, pretty."
"I DON'T HAVE MY SCAR?"
"Pretty, pretty precioussss…"
"Guys, I don't like how this spirit is messing with us. I'm gonna go have a look around and try to find it. Toph, make sure Zuko and Katara don't hurt themselves… or each other."
"My preciouss…."
"I'll be right back."
Xxxx
Katara, eventually, was forcibly separated from Zuko, and, eventually, after several splashes of water to her face, regained control of herself.
The same could not be said for Zuko, who, upon extricating himself from Katara, ran to his room to find his swords, and stared at his reflection. He was in love.
Xxxx
"Soo Toph. I've noticed none of your particular wishes have come true so far." Sokka said, quite randomly later in the evening.
"Yeah? How do you know they haven't?"
"Aww… come on now Toph. There's gotta be something you're wishing for."
"Nopes." She stated, managing to keep a blush off her face.
"Come on. I've seen you make googly eyes at Zuko!"
"Sparky? HAH! She wishes. And in case you haven't noticed, Katara would tear me to shreds if I came near him. Not that he'd notice." She gestured to the Fire Nation prince, who was currently looking for more reflective surfaces to gaze at himself in, muttering, "Now daddy has to love me!"
Aang swooped down at that moment, exhausted. "I looked everywhere. I couldn't find the spirit. If it could just teach me magic bending, I could magic bend the world so that the war never started!"
"Aang, Aang, Aang. You could wish for anything in the world, and you wish for peace?" Sokka sighed. "Bending is wasted on you."
"Yeah? Well if you think you can do it better, I'd love to see you try Sokka!"
"You know what? Fine! I will!" Sokka said suddenly. He took a deep breath and turned to the heavens. "Oh mighty magic bender! Lend me your ears! Or um… whatever it is spirits listen with. Spirits don't listen with, like, their feet, like Toph, right Aang? Oh, right. Great magic bender! I wish I could… BEND!"
Sokka wants to put himself to the test
Let him bend what he knows best
But no wind ran through the western air temple. No fire erupted form Sokka's fists, nor did the earth or water obey him. The boy hunched over, disappointed. It was worth a shot.
Xxxx
Hours later, Zuko was still getting used to his new "pretty powers". While Katara, at first infatuated with his prettiness, slowly became immune to it, and threatened to give Zuko a few more scars "where the sun don't shine" when he tried to use his newfound scarlessness to get an extra piece of lizard-chicken in his dinner. Following this failed attempt, he attempted to charm Toph into – well nothing really. He just wanted to do it because he thought he could.
"See sparky. This is why we all think you're stupid. I'm blind. And twelve. Jeez. You're a freaking creeper aren't you?"
He sighed, defeated. How did he become the fandom bicycle when he was incapable of charming a fruit fly? Not that he ever attempted to charm a fruit fly. How would you charm a fruit fly anyway? He shook his head, confused.
xxxx
"You know, I wish Zuko had his scar back. This group was a lot more fun when he wasn't-"
"Pretty?" Toph smirked. Before she could draw her breath, Sokka said:
"Don't worry, Aang ol' pal. I'll take care of it." He took a huge swig of cactus juice (his own personal stash, and no you may not have any Momo) and walked over to the fire nation prince, left admiring his reflection in the water.
"Fire bender he calls himself! HA! I bet Zuko couldn't even make a flame!"
"Er – Sokka. You've seen me firebend."
"HA! Firebending he calls it. Princess Zuzu is scared to play with fire!"
"For the millionth time! I'm not a woman! And stop calling me Zuzu! And I can too firebend! Just watch!"
And with that, he took a deep breath, and sent a flurry of spiralling all around him. Left, right, up, down, fire arced around in a graceful display, until –
"OHMYGOD!" Sokka shouted. "Toph is blind!"
Zuko's palm connected with his face before he could stop himself.
"Aaargh!" his cry echoed through the western air temple.
"You're welcome." Sokka said, to no one in particular before he belched loudly, and turned to fall asleep, clutching a struggling Momo.
A/N: Oh lord this sucked. I need a beta - I can't write comedy to save my life. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially Random Reader - Thank you for the suggestion for a scarless Zuko, and Sokka being a bender! Speaking of which... Tell me. What does Sokka know best? Food? Weaponry? Girls? Lurve? What should he be able to bend? Tell me what you think! :)