Fidelis.

A love story by madeofmay

Rated M

Summary: Remus Lupin's life is turned upside down and inside out at the passing thought of one who left his heart for dead years ago. Set in the Summer of 1980. Crummy summary, (crummary?).

A/N: There are many open ended mysteries about Remus Lupin. What was his wand made of? What was his Patronus? How did he know so much about the Dementors, and just what was up with that "Twisted Smile?" In a work of pure non-canon fiction, these mysteries will be revealed.

Forgive me the use of an O.C., I usually don't care much for them but in this case, it was necessary. I tried to fit him in as seamlessly as I could.

Go see the original illustrations for this chapter at my livejournal listed in my profile (coming soon, I promise).

Disclaimer: I do not own, therefore I eat ramen noodles instead of spaghetti every night.

Disappearances.

Remus was awakened the next morning by the sound of a blunt object hitting the door. He glanced at the clock and grumbled at the early hour. Begrudgingly, he pried himself from Erik's warm embrace and scrambled to find a jumper and a pair of trousers to answer the door as quietly as he could so as not to wake Erik up.

"Longbottom. Moody," Remus said, straightening out his hair and adjusting his jumper. "What-- come in. Come in."

"Lupin," Moody said, he looked quite worse for wear (and that's saying something) as his nose was wrapped in bandages. "T'would be better if you just dropped the niceties. We aren't here for pleasure."

Remus furrowed his brow.

"We've been sent by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement under the order of Bartemius Crouch, Sr., to take into custody as a person of interest--" said Longbottom reading from a scroll of parchment.

"Oh Christ," Remus spurted. "Look, he's not done anything wrong, you know he's an Auror in training for Christ's sake. I can vouch for it."

"Now listen, son," Moody said. "It's for his own protection. You want the Death Eaters bangin' down your door?"

"No!" Remus said. "You can't--"

"Come now, Lupin. We don't like it, either. It's our orders, now step aside," Longbottom said, a little forcefully.

Remus withdrew his wand, "No. Not on your lives."

Longbottom withdrew his as well, just as fast. He wasn't a top Auror for nothing. But Moody stayed his hand.

"Listen," Moody began. "'Tis all well you're willing to fight us to protect him but it's for his own safety."

Remus turned his wand on Moody, "You already said that."

"And so I did," Moody said unflinching. "And for heavens sake, we've no quarrel with you so put your wand down."

"You don't want to do this, Lupin," Longbottom said, wand aimed at Remus's jugular. "What will you do once you've attacked two armed Aurors."

Not a drop of sweat fell from Remus's brow. His wand never flinched.

"We're not your enemy, Lupin. You're enemy is out there."

There was a hint of danger in Remus's amber, unwavering eyes. Something reflective of the wolf inside him. Something that made Frank Longbottom, the best of the best in his rank, crack.

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

And Remus went blank.

"Good morning, my darling, how do you feel?"

Remus was in a room that was all too familiar to him. Windowless walls, starched white sheets, he was in a sterile recovery room at St. Mungo's although he wasn't too sure on why he was there, "Not sure," he said.

"Try to sit up. The Healer has brought some potions for you to take," Erik said.

"What happened?" Remus said trying to put weight on his arms. "Blimey. My legs and arms are numb."

Erik leaned forward and helped him sit straight, "I would assume they would be. Potter told me you were hit with a myriad of curses last night, Jelly-Leg Jinx included." He started massaging Remus's legs.

"James was here?" Remus said putting one hand on Erik's.

"Yes, he brought you here, and some bloke I didn't recognize. Introduced himself as just 'Diggle.' They're gone now, visiting hours are over and all," Erik smiled warmly at Remus. "Potter had a hell of a time convincing the medi-witches that I'm your half-brother so I could stay with you through the night."

Remus smiled back, "Why it has to be that way is beyond me."

"What on earth were you doing last night that you got hit with, what did Healer Thomkins say, 14 different curses? Thank heavens none of them were fatal. How does this feel, darling?" Erik asked changing massage techniques.

"I can feel pinpricks in my ankles."

"That's good. . . I think."

Remus sat in silence for a second or two looking but not watching Erik massage his ankles. Erik's dark eyes rose to meet Remus's in concern, "I don't remember," Remus said.

"Well. . . yeah. You were hit with at least two Confundus charms," Erik smiled.

"You knew and yet you asked me? What on earth is that?"

Erik laughed, "Healer told me to keep asking you to jog your memory. Sorry, love."

A medi-witch came in to mark Remus's hourly dose of potion off his chart. Erik's hands immediately fell from Remus's legs and into his own lap. The witch glanced over at Erik and then to Remus, "Any feeling in your legs, yet?" she asked.

"Pinpricks," Remus said.

She turned to Erik, "Keep massaging them legs, then. Don't stop on my account. We'll have you righter than red caps in no time."

Erik blushed as she left the room. He started massaging again.

"You're such a good half brother. Mother would be proud," Remus said, ruffling Erik's golden hair.

"Shut it," Erik smiled. "Rems, I want you to promise me something."

"It depends on what you're making me promise," Remus grinned, smoothing out Erik's recently ruffled hair with the palm of his hand.

"Will you promise?"

Sighing, Remus said, "Of course."

"Be more careful, will you? I know you're all into Dumbledore's cause and it's a wonderful thing but it's dangerous, darling. I hear from Moody all the time the bloody and bastardly things that happen out there and I'm constantly. . . I donno, frightened for you. I know no one has died yet, but that's probably just a matter of time. If I lost you, honestly I don't know what I'd do. Waste away, probably."

"Heavens, the last thing I would want is you to waste away," Remus smiled, he slid his hand from Erik's hair to caress his cheek.

"I'm serious, Remus. Will you promise?"

"Of course I will. I love you, Erik."

"I love you too, you big prat."

One of the things that made Frank Longbottom a top Auror was his infamous Defensive work. Only Longbottom could cast a disarming spell so powerful it stunned. And Remus found himself at the receiving end of such a spell. When he came to, he had found himself thrown into the glass coffee table in the living area.

There were shards all over the floor and in his shoulders. Luckily, unlike the poor table, his wand was intact. He muttered a quick episkey spell, he would fix the table later. First, he needed to make sure Erik was okay.

The bedroom was a war zone, practically. And deserted. Remus let out a long and mournful howl, much akin to a wolf. He felt a giant rend split his heart in two. It was something he had felt before, when he was sixteen. As if the sutures that Erik himself had sewn were being torn anew. Broken and alone he threw himself on the bed to curl up and die.

Wrapping the sheets from Erik's side around his shoulders, he enveloped himself in Erik's scent. He remembered his vow, mere hours ago, and was washed with an overwhelming sense of failure. When he found he could cry no tears, he began looking around inquisitorially. It looked like Erik put up a struggle. His wand was still in its usual resting spot in the bedside table drawer. There was blood on the sheets, on whiff could tell Remus it was Longbottom's.

He flared his nostrils and grit his teeth and with that same glint of danger in his wolfish eyes as before, he apparated.

A/N: Snuck in a little fluff in there, because really? Who can resist? But oh! it's going down! Where's he going? What's going to happen? Find out next chapter, and remember to check back for artwork posted at my livejournal (coming soon).

10, 000 thanks to Jayden Winters: First reviewer, it means more to me than you'll ever know.

-Laura S.