Disclaimer - Please see earlier chapter.
Whoopie I wrote a short chapter!! I never thought I'd do it but its less than ten pages long (god I'm easily amused)
Oh yeah please tell me what you think of this - I'd really like to know!
Sam stood up as the door opened and Brenda came out, he tried to peer round her to get a better look at the room's other occupant but she closed the door "Hi Bren."
She swallowed, "Sam."
He wasn't sure how to start this conversation, "You two OK?"
"As well as," she guessed what he really wanted to talk about, "Can you give me a chance to clean up before we do this."
Sam nodded; this conversation was eight years late so five more minutes wasn't going to make much difference, "I'll be outside."
Brenda found him sitting on the hood of one of the old wrecks in Bobby's yard, a gentle wind blowing leaves past him.
"So?" Sam asked as she stood in front of him.
She looked at her feet before taking a breath, she had always known that the decision she had made all those years ago may come to this but she didn't regret a minute with her son.
She raised her head and looked Sam in the eye, "Yes."
He tried to sound calm, "And you didn't think to tell me."
"It crossed my mind."
"It crossed your mind?" Sam said in disbelief, "You have my child and it crosses your mind to tell me!"
She realised that wasn't exactly the best way to phrase it, "It wasn't exactly like that."
"So what exactly was it like then?" he asked, remaining seated, trying to be calm, as right now he wasn't sure what he felt like doing.
Brenda crossed her arms, "We were kids Sam, and it wasn't like we were in love or anything. We got drunk and made a mistake, Christ we could barely stand to be in the same room as each other half the time."
"Yeah but if I'd known at least I would have done something?" Sam replied.
"What – say lets get married? We were fifteen Sam, what were you going to do? Swipe me one of your Dad's scammed credit cards so I could buy diapers? Send me part of your allowance each month?"
Sam stood up, "I don't know, I could have done something. I would have had a choice!"
"Yeah and if I'd told you our Dads would have got involved and that would have worked out great. You know fine well they depended on each other back then to help out with the big jobs that our brothers were too inexperienced to work back up on. How could your Dad have worked with mine after he tried to kill you 'cause you know fine well that is what my Dad would have done."
"That's a cheap shot Bren. We could have worked something out; you never gave me a chance! As it was you decided to have him and didn't give me a second thought"
Brenda pulled the hair the wind had blown in her face and tucked it behind her ear, "It didn't go down like that, it just happened."
"Last time I checked you have nine months Bren to decide what to do, so don't say it just happened."
"I was fifteen Sam, alone and scared, so don't you go saying that you know what I felt!" Brenda spat out, "I didn't know what to do, I went into denial Sam, I just hoped that one day I'd wake up and it would all be alright again."
"What are you saying? That you gave birth on the bathroom floor or something?" Sam couldn't believe he was asking that.
"No, but I hid it Sam, I hid it from everyone. I became withdrawn, started snagging Jake's clothes, eating more and cause the morning sickness didn't go until real late on, my Dad and Jake thought I had an eating disorder or something."
Sam started feeling sorry for her, "So what happened."
"Jake grabbed me one day when I was about seven months along. He'd got fed up with me not wanting to be touched, ducking out of training and the fact I was always wearing his sweatshirts."
Sam straightened taking a sharp intake of breath remembering that Brenda had been expected to train just as hard as her brother, "Training Bren? He's OK isn't he?"
"He's fine Sam, I got out of the hand to hand stuff," she said giving him a little smile, "He's really smart."
Sam relaxed, "So what happened with Jake?"
"He grabbed me; think he was expecting to find skin and bone but he didn't. Dad hit the roof, demanded to know who it was."
"So you decided to keep me out of it?" Sam asked.
"Sam I was scared, I'd never seen him like that. It took me most of the time to get him to believe it was just a kid I'd met and nothing else...worse. He then just went on about wanting to know if I knew where the boy was, was I still in contact with him, did the kid know. He wanted a name Sam, and I was scared what he was going to do."
Sam could picture Frank's reaction, "So what happened."
"After he calmed down I think he was just upset that I didn't tell him. He got me checked out and then packed me off to my Aunt Irene."
"So you got your out!" Sam said accusingly remembering the times that Brenda had said she had mentioned that she had hated the life as much as him.
Brenda looked at her feet, avoiding Sam's gaze, "Yeah I got my out, you gave me that, I should thank you for it, without Deacon I would have still been on the road. I heard that you got to go to school so you got yours as well."
He can understand her reasoning back then for not telling him but the boy was now seven, "You still should have told me."
"I didn't think you'd want to know."
Sam knotted his brow, "Why did you think that?"
"You just left me there. You got what you wanted and left," Brenda replied, "You treated me like nothing had happened."
"What was I suppose to do Bren? You told me to go!" Sure Sam could admit he treated her badly but she had done the same to him.
"You didn't argue; you were the one who came knocking at my door, you were the one who didn't bring protection Sam. I was fifteen did you think that I was on birth control or something?"
"You were into it as much I was Bren. If you had said stop at any point I would have!" Sam argued back, he wasn't going to be the bad guy in this, "As it was you threw me out of your room."
She looked as if she was about to cry, "Yeah, but you didn't say a word after."
"Your brother was watching me like a hawk and I thought that was what you wanted." Sam said, "Christ Brenda, I was a kid too if thought that you wanted to talk about it I would have."
She rubbed a tear away from her face, "I'm sorry I never told you. As time went on it just got harder and harder."
"I'm surprised that your Dad didn't come knocking at our door when they first found out." Sam said, not sure why Frank hadn't thought of him and Dean as potential suspects all those years ago.
"Well Jake did, him and Dean got into a big fight about it remember?" Brenda replied.
Sam thought for a second, he remembered Dean coming back one night after getting into an argument with Jake, though he'd never said about what. A few days later Dean and Jake had been fine again, "Yeah I remember something about it.
"Well Jake asked your brother about what he thought about young girls; Dean took it that Jake was confessing about something stupid he's done. Your brother took a swing at him for being so stupid." Brenda let out a laugh, "Jake actually came out that night, Dean then thought that Jake was coming on to him."
"Jake's gay?" Sam asked surprised, he'd never known that his brother's best friend was gay.
Brenda nodded, "Oh yeah. Jake's been out for years, he's happy. He's been in a steady relationship for the past couple of years. Jesus Andy!"
"I'm sure Jake's called his boyfriend." Sam said reassuringly to which Brenda shook her head, "Not his – mine!"
A sudden wave of anger and jealousy worked its way through Sam, there was a man out there sharing his son's life. He watched Brenda call someone, resisting the urge to go over there pull the phone out of her hands and say that they were sorting this out first before she called anyone.
She turned to him as she got off the phone, "Don't worry I didn't tell him where we were, I know how this goes."
"Does he know anything about me?" Sam asked cagily, "Does he know that I'm his father?"
"His name's Deacon. Deacon Francis," Bren said shaking her head, not proud of her actions, "And no, not really, I've just thought that if he wants to know he'll ask. Jake's kept me kind of up to date about what you and your brother have been up to. I'm sorry about your Dad, he always could make me laugh and your girlfriend too; she must have been real special."
"She was thanks." Sam looked at the ground, "Can I tell him? Can I tell him that I didn't just abandon him?"
"I don't know Sam." Brenda said, "I'm not saying that you can never tell him, it's just that he's just watched his Uncle and grandfather almost be killed; he's scared, finding out that he's got a father might be a little too much for him right now."
Sam didn't want to push it right now, "Yeah maybe."
"You can get to know him; if you want to." Brenda added, giving Sam an out if he wanted it.
"I'd like that." Sam said, "Do you know how long you'll be here."
Brenda shrugged, "Depends if this Sanchez guy takes another shot at us. Though I have no idea why he'd want to hurt Deacon."
Sam swallowed, "Has Deacon had anything that you could say were like visions or something like that?"
"What? Do you think he's psychic or something?"
He didn't know how to phrase what he had to tell her. On paper he knew he wasn't a good prospect as a father as it was, he had no home, no job, was always on the road and now this. If Brenda had wanted any excuse to keep Deacon away from him he was about to hand it to her on a plate, "I am, I get visions. The demon, the one that took my Mom and Jess has plans for me and kids with powers like me."
He could see the look on her face but he continued she deserved to know the whole story, "There was also a hunter, Gordon Walker, he tried to take me out. We think this Sanchez guy knows him."
The blood drained from Brenda's face, "And you think that this is why they're after Deacon."
Sam shoved his hands into his pockets, "I don't know. I hope not."