"I never thought I would see you looking so pathetic."

First Shizuo, then Shinra and now her. Why couldn't people just leave him alone? Why couldn't his humans just leave him alone? He was leaving them alone.

"…Namie." Izaya said. "What do you want?"

The words had started a silent confrontation between them. He had seldom addressed her without the respectful honorific, to mock her that even though she was older than him (he was after all forever twenty one) she was working under him and had to obey his every command.

Until now.

"I don't want anything, unlike you," he heard Namie snort, "You want too many things."

"But then, there's one thing you really want now, isn't there?" The words were cruel, and he knew they were intended to be, "And it's the one thing you'll never get."

She wanted to hurt him. He wasn't surprised. He had done many bad things to her, had taunted and teased and mocked her. She was just getting her revenge.

But it still hurt. Yagiri Namie had an unusual talent for making blunt words as sharp as knives.

And they were having their effect on him for the first time.

Izaya sniffed, and Namie said incredulously, "What, you aren't going to cry, are you?"

"Ah no." Izaya said calmly, not wanting to open his eyes and show that he had indeed been crying, "I don't know how to cry. Won't you teach me, Namie-san?"

"I only cry for Seiji." Namie stated bluntly and it almost made him smile. For this was something familiar, Namie and her twisted romantic love for her brother.

"And it seems you only cry for Heiwajima Shizuo."

"Why would I cry for Shizu-chan?"

"Are you stupid?" When Izaya didn't reply, he heard Namie sigh, and say the words he wished he didn't have to hear, "Because you're in love with him."

There was silence, and then she said, "Why did you fire me? Tell me honestly."

He knew she knew he wasn't in any state to lie, the crafty woman. He had after all entertained the thought that they were the same kind of person.

He revealed his crimson eyes. "You got too close."

The same kind of person, both manipulative to get what they wanted. She wanted her brother Seiji and he…wanted Shizuo's attention. He knew the lengths she had gone to for her brother, though it could not beat what he had done to secretly manipulate Shizuo.

"Too close," she said, and looked down at him for the first time. Usually it was the other way around. "In what way?"

"In a way I didn't like." Izaya closed his eyes again.

"Liar." Namie accused mercilessly. He could imagine her black eyes boring into him, "You liked it, and you didn't like it that you liked it, and so you did what you do best; run away."

"What do you want me to say?" He allowed tiredness to seep into his voice.

"The truth." She said. "I want the truth, Orihara Izaya. Open your eyes and give me the damn truth."

"The truth." He murmured.

"That's right. Tell the truth for once in your life."

"I love him." Izaya said. "For some damn fucking reason that eludes me, I'm in love with Heiwajima Shizuo."

"That damn unpredictable brute told me he forgave me," the raven haired man continued, looking tiredly at the ground. "It pissed me off. He wasn't supposed to ever say that. But he did."

"He said he had more important things to do in his life, and he mentioned about going on a date, so I knew he had a girlfriend." Izaya said. "I didn't think it was that significant- after all back in Raijin, I made sure he didn't have a girlfriend- that would take his attention away from our fights." He smirked, "What girl can stand Shizu-chan's monstrous strength anyway?"

"But she did." Namie said. She crossed her arms. "And now, she's his wife."

Izaya flinched at that, and Namie said, "But, you still haven't answered my question."

"Namie-san is unusually demanding of me," Izaya mocked, and there was a familiar smirk on his lips. Namie glared at him and he said, "I told you, you got too close."

"Don't make me repeat my question, Izaya."

"You got too close," Izaya repeated, but his eyes were serious. "Since Shizu-chan was…ignoring me, I was bored. There's…Shinra, but I, still felt…"

"Lonely." Namie said. "You were lonely, weren't you?" She sounded amused.

"Laugh if you want." Izaya said. "You know how the rest goes. I decided to talk to you more, we're both solitary beings after all. Both manipulative- don't you deny it, Namie."

Namie shut her mouth. "I didn't say anything." She said airily.

Izaya chuckled. "If Shizu-chan and that Vorona bitch are going to heaven," he said, "Assuming for one moment I'm not an atheist, then we're both going to hell. You and me, Namie."

"Don't associate me with you." Namie said coldly.

"But it's true. You with your twisted love for dear Seiji-kun, and me with my love for my beloved humans."

"Aren't you forgetting something here?"

"…And Shizuo." Izaya conceded and Namie smirked. "Yeah, laugh at my misery." He said, "You know what it's like, don't you? Unrequited feelings."

"Love. Is it so hard for you to say that word if it involves a specific human being?" Namie said. "And don't compare me to you. My love for Seiji may be unrequited, but I love him, and that's all that matters. Not like you, breaking down because Heiwajima Shizuo doesn't return your love." She scoffed. "Pathetic."

"…How cruel, Namie," Izaya smiled wryly. "Yeah, you're strong." He sighed, "Probably stronger than I am."

"This isn't like you." Namie said almost cautiously.

"Yeah. But…I don't know how to deal with emotions." Izaya lowered his gaze, "They weren't of any significance to me before this."

"You know how to deal with others' emotions," Namie scorned, "And yet you don't know how to handle your own." She scoffed, "What kind of contradiction is that?"

"An ironic one." Izaya shrugged. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I hate this."

Namie eyed him sceptically, "You're not going to cry again, are you?"

"Shut up. Do you think I want to cry?" Izaya muttered, "Damn you, Shizu-chan. How can you hurt me like this when you're not even here to gloat." He gritted his teeth, "Fuck you, Shizuo. I hope that crow bitch kills you in your sleep."

"You know," Namie said, smirking. "This is actually quite amusing, and would make perfect blackmail material."

"Don't you dare, Namie. I swear I will hurt Seiji-kun if you even think of it."

Namie narrowed her eyes. "And for a moment, I thought you had changed."

"I haven't changed. I'm merely," Izaya smirked, peeking through the gaps between his fingers, "Suffering an emotional breakdown. You should be honoured to witness this once in a lifetime opportunity."

"I heard screaming makes you feel better." Namie suggested causally.

"Tch," Izaya's teeth grinded, "Like I would resort to that. I'm not like a certain beast."

"Whom you love. Ah but the 'Beauty' isn't you, is it?"

"Do you want to die?"

Namie smirked. "It isn't." She said. "Though I must say I'm not too surprised of your homosexuality, your personality leaves much to be desired, but you were always a feminine man." She shrugged, "If I were someone else, maybe I might have even called you pretty."

There it was again. That particular jab at his heart. Shinra had said the same thing.

"I don't consider myself homosexual," Izaya said, "I just…" he breathed, "I just love Shizu-chan. I'm just in love with Shizuo. That's all."

"It just so happens that the person you love is a man." Namie said.

"And it just so happens that the person you love is your brother." Izaya replied.

"Fair enough." Namie admitted. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing." Izaya said. "Absolutely nothing." I don't have a place in Shizuo's life now

There was silence, as Izaya tried to hold his tears back, and then his hands were snatched roughly away from his face, exposing him to Namie.

"Bastard," Namie said, her black eyes hard, "You really can't stop manipulating people, can you?" She inhaled, and looked him in the eye. "Don't you dare manipulate me with your tears, Izaya."

"Then give me my hands back!" Izaya shouted, but Namie had a firm grip on them. "Namie!"

Namie gave him a death glare, then released his hands and yanked at his hair. Izaya's scowl met with the fabric of her shirt, as she pulled him forcefully to her shoulder. "Say anything sarcastic," Namie said roughly, "And I'm leaving you alone."

Alone. He didn't want to be alone. Izaya's hands came up to clutch at Namie's shirt, as the scowl melted into what almost looked like a smile.

"You're too kind, Namie."

Namie said nothing, but her grip on Izaya's hair loosened and turned almost gentle as she ran her hand over the black locks. "Your hair," she said absently, "Is surprisingly soft." She paused. "Izaya."

And then there was another silence between them, as silent tears trailed down Izaya's face for he told himself he could not cry in front of Namie. He could shed tears, but he would not cry, would not make any more pathetic sounds.

The hand on his hair was gentle, but feminine, and not calloused like he wanted it to be. But he closed his eyes and decided to be satisfied with the present. With the companion he had, whom he had tried to kick out of his life.

Unexpectedly, she had come back. But then a lot of unexpected things were happening today. On his birthday.

"You know…" Izaya said hesitantly, and Namie turned her gaze to him, "It's my birthday today."

"That must suck for you, considering it's also Heiwajima Shizuo's wedding day," Namie said brutally, and he couldn't restrain a wince. He heard her sigh, "But, Happy Birthday, Izaya." He felt her shrug, "Consider this your birthday present. Usually, I would only give comfort to Seiji."

Happy Birthday, Izaya. He could feel a warmth enveloping his heart, replacing the pain.

Izaya felt himself smile. "You haven't changed," he said, allowing his voice to express the fondness he felt for her. "I…" his grip tightened, his crimson eyes shadowed, "I don't know what honesty is."

"You were honest just now, the most honest I've ever seen you," she said with the honesty that was so absent from his life. Maybe it was why he had considered her a close acquaintance and, had he not been Orihara Izaya and already in love with someone who didn't even know he had stolen Orihara Izaya's untouchable heart, potential companion. "Didn't I say to stop lying?" Her words were blunt, but her hand on his hair was still gentle, "You do know how to be honest, you just don't want to."

"Because, saying you don't know what honesty is – aren't you being honest?"

She had a point. She always had a point. "Somehow," Izaya said, smiling, "Even though it was because of my manipulative tactics, somehow, I'm glad I met you, Namie."

"There. Aren't you being honest? And you say you don't know what honesty is?" Namie smirked, letting Izaya's beautiful black locks slip through her slender fingers, though she would never tell him that, "Though, I can't say the same."

"As expected of Namie-san," Izaya chuckled with good humour, "Here I am, exposing my fragile heart and you shoot me down so easily."

Her shoulders lifted up, then down, "You like me for my honesty." She told him. "Shouldn't you be grateful you're getting something you want today, for once?"

"Always the shrewd one, aren't you." Izaya said in amusement. He removed himself from her shoulder and waited for her hand to slip off his hair, "What, you like my hair, Namie?"

"You wish." She retorted, but he could see her clenching her fist.

He chuckled, and smiled, "Now you're not the one being honest, Namie-san."

"Oh shut up. It's not my fault your hair is soft like a woman's." She glowered. "What shampoo do you use?"

Izaya raised a hand to his hair, brows furrowing. "I just wash it normally." He said.

"Great time to be honest." Namie muttered and he smirked, "Lucky bastard."

"Aw, are you jealous, Namie?"

"Damn right I am. Do you know how long it takes normal people to get their hair that way?"

"Well, I'm not normal," Izaya shrugged. He had accepted that fact long ago, relished in it, even. Until today. He fingered the strands of his silky black hair, raising his gaze, "I wonder if Shizu-chan would like it."

"I'm sure he would." Namie said softly. He looked at her, and she huffed, "Your horrible personality doesn't affect the softness of your hair."

Izaya smiled. "Thanks." He said genuinely.

Namie caught herself from smiling. She coughed, "So, what does this make us?"

"Eh?"

She glared at him, and he blinked, "I…" he tugged at soft raven locks.

Namie stared, then sighed, "What do you want us to be, Izaya?" She said, "You made the first move to forge this relationship, whatever it is. Take some damn responsibility." She crossed her arms, "And by the way, make sure whatever it is, it's platonic, it's too disgusting to think of otherwise."

"Close acquaintances," Izaya murmured, "Can we be…close acquaintances, Namie-san?"

It was the first time he had actually sounded respectful with the honorific. Namie stared at him disbelievingly, then said, "You mean friends." She watched in bemusement as red rose to his cheeks. "Seriously. Is it so hard for you to say it? Friends. Friendship. That's what you want, isn't it?" She snorted, "When have you ever deigned to say what you want?"

"Since today, it seems," Izaya said. He swallowed, then looked at her from beneath his feminine eyelashes, which she thought was totally unfair and manipulative of him. As usual. "F-Friends then, Namie?"

Namie stared, and sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time. "I suppose." She said reluctantly. Izaya sounded hopeful, and even she didn't have the heart to refuse him. She pushed her hair to the side, "So as your friend, I suppose I will have to know your taboo words, love and friendship. Right?"

"And as my friend," the word sent a pleasant hum through his weary body. "I suppose I can allow you to touch my beautiful hair."

"Narcissist." Namie shot, and he smiled as she reached forward and felt the silky strands with the gentle and warm touch of a friend.

Izaya closed his tired eyes. Friend. Namie was his friend. Namie had agreed to be his friend. It gave him a sense of contentment he didn't know was even possible. Was this what it was like to have a friend? To have someone acknowledge their friendship and closeness? "It's a nice feeling."

If friendship was like this, what was love - requited love like? If Shizuo loved him, would he be gentle with him? Would he be as gentle with his hair as Namie, or more gentle? Would his beloved monster hold him close? Would Shizuo finally give him a smile?

Izaya's heart clenched and skipped a beat at the same time at the thought of Heiwajima Shizuo's smile - for if Shizuo smiled, he definitely wasn't smiling at him.

Izaya sighed inwardly. Why did he torture himself like this? Maybe he really was a masochist.

"Stop thinking of useless things." Namie said in annoyance, though her eyes were tinged with concern. "It makes my job as your friend harder." She snorted, "You never stop making my job hard, do you?"

Izaya just smiled in bemusement, "Do you expect to be paid for this, Namie?" He gestured.

"Don't be stupid," Namie was definitely glaring at him.

"I'm not despicable like you. I can do something for nothing in return."

Nothing. That's right, he could offer Namie nothing. He had nothing to give her, nothing she would want. Nothing in exchange for their acquiesced friendship. He really was pathetic.

Namie pulled at his hair, hard enough for him to wince, "What did I say?"

"To stop thinking." Izaya said reluctantly. "Which is impossible, Namie! If I stop thinking I might lose my sanity!"

"Aren't you already insane?" Namie said so dryly he couldn't help but giggle. "Ugh. Stop being like a girl, Izaya. For whatever notion of feminine companionship your twisted mind has come up with. It won't make me pity you more."

"So you say," Izaya sang, his eyes glinting at her hand on his hair and the softened look in her eyes. "Honesty, Namie! Honesty!" He pitched his voice in a feminine way.

"Manipulative bastard." Namie's lips quirked, which he took as a good sign as she was usually expressionless for everyone save for her love. "Tricking me like that."

"Just who do you think you're talking to?" Izaya's voice was smooth and masculine again, but a genuine smile was on his lips.

"Orihara Izaya." Namie deadpanned and Izaya's smile widened. "The most manipulative bastard I've had the bad luck to come to know."

"How mean~!"

"But," she said and he blinked, "He's a bastard with a heart. A heart which knows how to love. Surprisingly."

"Namie..."

"Oh no, don't you go all mushy on me!" Namie grimaced as Izaya sniffed. "Izaya!"

"I-" Izaya said, and watched as Namie tensed, but steeled herself for his breakdown. He smirked, "Just kidding."

Her eyebrow twitched, and then she hit him, and he yelped in protest, "Namie!"

"Have I ever told you how frustrating you are?"

"I am?"

"…I'm leaving."

"Ah, wait!" Izaya reached out unconsciously, "Namie-"

"Shut up." She tugged at his hair, but then gave it a gentle pat when she saw his eyes water. "I can't stay here forever, can I?"

"Yeah…"

She ran her fingers gently through his hair one last time, then got to her feet, turning around. "Take care of yourself, Izaya."

"Yeah, Namie."

He watched as she walked away, then paused, "And," he blinked, "You have my number right? Since you're a sneaky bastard."

"Yeah?"

"That's good." Namie said, and his eyes widened as she glanced back with a smile for the first time.

Her smile was beautiful, probably because she didn't smile often, and because someone was actually smiling at him, at Orihara Izaya. He supposed he could content himself with the smile of his first friend besides Shinra, if he couldn't see the smile of his love. He found himself smiling back with the gratefulness in his heart as their eyes met, and then she turned and left.

"Ah," Izaya sighed, and leaned his head back against the trunk of the tree. A smile was on his lips as his eyes gleamed with rare happiness. His hand unconsciously went to the phone in his pocket, slender fingers curling around the device that had suddenly gained a new kind of importance.

"You really are too kind, Namie. I guess I'll be going to Hell alone."