I do not own Resident Evil, nor its plot or characters. I own only this abomination of a talent show :3
ACHAN: Well, my fun with you guys is coming rather well!
Wesker: How come I'm not in here a lot
ACHAN: Oh believe me, We'll get to you!
Luther: Honestly why must I be kicked out?
Ashley: I want Leooon...
ACHAN: Ahhhh! cover your ears! Who invited her here?
*chases her with pet licker*
ACHAN: Now, the show must go on...
Scene 2- Opening
"Err… umm… due to some... private matters that have yet to be resolved, Leon will not be hosting this evening. Tonight, it will be I , Sherry Birkin, as your host-"
Sherry is then thrown aside by Jake Muler.
"Hey, I wanna be the host! You always have to take the spotlight…"
Scene 2 Act 1
"Alright, we are gonna hold a contest to see who can drink more!" Exclaims Barry Burton, setting down shot glasses and vodka down on the table.
"Consider it done!" Wesker says back, and they both take the first shot of vodka.
27 shots later…
"You're my friend, ya know that, berry?" Slurs Wesker.
"Awwww, shad up, you're the smart one… I've always like y-you for your hair…"
"Aww, come here, man…" Wesker stands to hug Barry, and falls.
"Haha soj jfdo doofu guubpeia nosfeeraatio…" Barry falls over in his chair.
Scene 2 Act 2
Alfred jumps on stage, twerking in a pink ballet costume, yelling "does this make my ass look big?"
"Damn right!" yells Alexia.
"Make it rain, brother, twerk it!" calls Luther West, having snuck in with a disguise, throwing out roses and 50 dollar bills to Alfred. Alfred reply's with a questionable lap dance…
Scene 2 Act 3
"Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention! I am Louis Sera, the amazing lion tamer!" The man brings out a "lion" from backstage.
"Uhh, Louis, that's not-"starts Carlos, but Louis interrupts him.
"Now for my first trick, I will feed the lion a snack!" he holds out a piece of meat.
"Uhh… Louis, I don't think you realize what kind of danger you're in. That's an Uber Licker…"
"Wait, what? The thing we talked about the other day in the meeting?"
Carlos nods, and Louis screams as he tries to pull his hand away… but the Uber Licker has already eaten it.
"Get off the ground and stop crying like a pussy!" shouts Luther as Louis clutches his stumpy arm.
Scene 2 Act 4
"Now , our next show, we give you Ashley Graham fighting Albert Wesker!" announces Jake, as Ashley is pushed onto the stage.
"W-w-wait, I didn't sign up for this! LEOONNN!" screams Ashley, causing Weskers ears to bleed.
"Ahhh! The horror!" Still completely hammered, Wesker punches the air randomly… and hits William Birkin
"Get off of me, you drunk!" yells William.
"H-h-he's ma friend" slurs Wesker, hugging William, and Ashley manages to run away… until the Uber Licker gets her.
Scene 2 Act 5
"Uhhh.. yeah well thanks for watching!" says Jake… and then Wesker runs up to him.
"Ma sooonnn.. ma bro! I looveee you sooo.." Wesker vomits onto the floor, and Barry stumbles over to them.
"What dicha do to ma frend?" Says Barry to a baffled Jake, and then he gives him a right hook.
Stammering, Sherry says "w-well.. that's the end of our show! Hope you enjoy-"
Bam! A car runs through the side wall.
"Hey biiitches! Just practicing my GTA skills!" Calls a drunk L.J. "Now who wants to pararartayy!"
Taking out of their seats as fast as they can, everyone in the audience yells "MEEE!".
No one knew what happened to the Uber licker that night…
So if anyone has any comments on what our.. lovely... special... characters should do next, just comment! :3 I'll be sure to make my pals do strange things... -ACHAN