Star Trek: Madagascar
by Galaxy1001D
The Penguins of Madagascar television series and the movies Madagascar and Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa are the properties of Nickelodeon and Dreamworks Animation, Viacom, CBS and a bunch of other guys. Additional material owned by 20th Century Fox. Star Trek is owned by Paramount, who is also owned by CBS. This story has been written for the purpose of entertainment only. No attempt has been made to use this document for profit.
Chapter Two: Welcome to Lemuria
On the surface of an alien world, four Penguins surveyed their surroundings. It was hot and humid. Tropical green vegetation was everywhere, and insects and other animal life were abundant. On thing that wasn't abundant, however was equipment.
"Skippah!" the short and roly-poly private exclaimed as he clasped his flippers in front of his chest. "Our weapons! They're gone! We're completely unarmed!"
"And on top of that, LV-426 does not correspond in the slightest to the information imparted in our briefing," Kowalski added. "It appears as if our intel is as unreliable as our equipment."
"At ease, gentlemen," Skipper said smugly. "It's always darkest before the dawn." He turned to the scarred and silent Penguin. "Rico! Equip us!"
Gagging in discomfort, the silent Penguin regurgitated two tricorders, two sets of goggles, some earphones, a phaser pistol, and a phaser carbine.
"Huh?" the private blinked in confusion. "Where did that come from?"
"I had Rico visit the quartermaster's office and the armory last night," Skipper replied smoothly. "When on a dangerous mission, you can never have enough equipment."
"B-but it's against regulations…" the private stammered.
"Sweet naïve Private," Skipper smiled condescendingly. "A true operator never let a little thing like regulations get in the way of a successful mission. Isn't that right, boys?"
Rico nodded cheerfully while Kowalski added, "We never let regulations get in the way of survival, either."
"Calm down, Private," Skipper put his flipper around his nervous subordinate. "We're on a suicide mission. What are they going to do, court marshal us?"
"I suppose you're right…" the private agreed. He had the best training the corps could give him, but he didn't have experience. He had to trust his team and follow their lead.
As his team equipped themselves, Skipper picked up one of the tricorders and set it on 'record'. "Skipper's log, Stardate 2009.2: We have beamed down to Colony LV-426. Due to a snafu the equipment that was issued to us ended up AWOL, but Rico managed to get us the bare minimum. On top of that, our intel is completely bogus. Instead of a barren black rock LV-426 is a tropical paradise of vegetation…"
"Skipper!" Kowalski was wearing goggles and earphones while twiddling on his tricorder. "I've got movement in sector Victor Bravo! A life form roughly our mass equipped with technology heading our way!"
"Fan out, boys!" Skipper ordered, his face frowning in determination. "We aren't going to let the enemy catch us flatfooted!"
As one, they dropped prone and rolled in different directions to hide in the underbrush. Rico had the carbine. The private had the pistol. Skipper and Kowalski were unarmed, but their flippers were registered as lethal weapons.
"It's almost on top of us," Kowalski hissed in a stage whisper.
While they were experts in stealth, the black and white battle dress uniforms they were wearing where no substitutes for standard camouflage or Ghillie suits. "Hey guys," a chirpy female voice greeted.
"Hiya-who-hah!" Skipper cried as the Penguins leaped from their hiding places to pounce on the intruder. In less than a second, they had subdued a stout furry biped in civilian clothing.
"What are you doing?" she asked irritation evident in her voice.
"I could ask you the same thing," Skipper retorted as he and the others got off her. "What were you doing sneaking around like that?"
Now that the Penguins had gotten off of her, they could get a better look at the female they had tackled. She was about a meter tall, equal to Skipper's height, and most of her exposed flesh was covered in brown fur. Her cheeks and muzzle were white and she had thin, almost invisible whiskers. She apparently came from a high gravity world, for her legs were short and stubby just like the Penguins' legs were, but thanks to her slacks they were visible. Her brown slacks were modified for her short tail, and her torso was covered with a brown jacket, and a white sweater underneath. The palms of her hands were blackish in contrast to her bubblegum pink nose. Her large innocent hazel eyes were the size of golf balls emphasizing her large feminine eyelashes.
She picked herself off the ground and looked at Skipper with disbelieving eyes. "Sneaking? Who's sneaking?" she protested. "I just came out here to greet you guys! You are the First Contact Team, right?"
"Negative," Skipper shook his head. "Sergeant Thomas Skipper, United Federation Marine Corps. Identify yourself. What are you doing on Colony LV-426?"
"My name is Marlene Nova, and I'm your liaison with the Federation Diplomatic Service," the civilian replied. "Could I speak to your superior? You guys don't seem all there."
"It's possible that she is the sole survivor of the calamity that has befallen the colony," Kowalski mused as he scanned her with his tricorder. "We must run a medical diagnostic on her to make sure the xenovores haven't laid their eggs in her."
"Affirmative," Skipper grunted. "Okay, calm down and tell me what happened. Are any of the other colonists still alive? Did you get hit by a facehugger? What's the last thing you remember before passing out?"
"Getting tackled by four naked Penguins," Marlene frowned, but she was so cute and cuddly looking that she really couldn't pull off an intimidating scowl.
"We aren't naked; these are body suits," the private protested meekly as he tugged at his collar. "They're colored this way to blend in with our environment." When the civilian glanced at the lush and colorful surroundings skeptically he added, "Only we're in the wrong environment."
"So, why did they send in the marines?" the civilian asked. "Since when are marines necessary for a purely peaceful mission?"
"Kowalski, analysis," Skipper barked.
"She appears to be a native of the planet Ott Four, a member of the sentient Federation species known as the Otters. She is young and in excellent health. No sign of any contamination."
"Well of course not, silly," Marlene teased. "Lemuria Two has got to be the healthiest place in the galaxy!"
"Lemuria Two?" Skipper blinked. "We're not on Lemuria. We were sent on a suicide mission to Colony LV-426!"
"Well you're not on Colony LV… whatever it is," Marlene assured them. "You're on the planet Lemuria, home to a pacifist species we hope will join the Federation. This planet is one of the most species rich biomes we've ever catalogued. The chemical and medicinal uses for the native plant life is staggering. They've got an herb that will cure Rigellian Blood Fever! Isn't that amazing?"
"That is amazing!" Kowalski nodded as he was swept away by her enthusiasm. "To think the biochemical agents in the local flora could revolutionize medicine as we know it and bring health and long life to the inhabitants of the United Federation of Planets! I can't wait to study the species you've catalogued! Do you think that…"
"Can it Kowalski," Skipper muttered. "So you're telling me this isn't Colony LV-426?"
"Uh, no," Marlene confirmed. "This isn't a colony of any kind. The Lemurs have been living here like forever. So you guys aren't a security detail for the Starfleet diplomatic party?"
"Negative," Skipper shook his head.
"It appears our squad has beamed down to the wrong location," Kowalski murmured as he tapped listlessly at his tricorder. "Apparently we are at the coordinates for the First Contact Party."
"I concur," Skipper nodded as Rico started chasing a butterfly. "The question is, if we're on Lemuria, where's the diplomatic party?"
Meanwhile, thousands of light-years away on the desolate colony world designated LV-426, the weak and feeble light of the planet's sun dimly illuminated the white ash-filled sky. On the ground it was difficult to tell that the sun had risen, for obsidian rock that stretched into the horizon didn't reflect the sun's rays at all. Instead the ebony black stone seemed to suck the light into itself like tar pits claiming a dinosaur.
Two Chimpanzees walked away from the rest of the First Contact Team and surveyed their bleak and desolate surroundings.
Mason cleared his throat uneasily. "I hope you packed plenty of poo, Phil."
Back on Lemuria Two, Marlene attempted to bring the diplomatic mission back on track. "Anywho… when is the First Contact Party beaming down?"
"I'm sure they'll be down any minute now…" Kowalski said uneasily.
As the hours passed, the sun set and Lemuria's beautiful silver moon rose to illuminate the sky.
"Any minute now," Kowalski repeated.
"Who-boy," Marlene sighed. "Look, it obvious that the First Contact Party isn't coming. I guess that leaves you guys to complete their mission. Have you been briefed about the inhabitants of this planet at all?"
"Well technically, and it's still too early to give a definitive answer to that query…" Kowalski paused. "I'd have to say… no."
"Uh-uh," Rico shook his head.
"We really didn't know that we'd even be on this planet," Private explained.
"Gentlemen," Skipper said in a commanding voice. "This team has successfully defeated a rock monster when we were armed only with a screwdriver and a small piece of bubblegum. I personally have taken down five angry Klingons with only a wing and a prayer, and another wing. I'm sure we can handle this diplo-mission."
"But Skippah, we don't know the first thing about diplomacy," the private protested. "I can kill a man with my bare flippers and snipe a target from a click away but I don't know how to talk to foreign dignitaries!"
"Watch and learn, Private," Skipper purred. "Watch and learn."
Marlene sighed and put her hand to her forehead.
Thousands of lightyears away, the starship Madagascar soared through the endless reaches of space…
From her console on the bridge, Gloria the hippo made an announcement. "Hey guys, we're getting a distress call from one of our teams."
"Let's hear it," Alex said.
Alex, Marty, Melman, and Gloria became quiet as Mason's Oxford English accent was heard from the speakers. "Starship Madagascar? This is Mason Cornelius of the First Contact Team… Is anybody there?"
"We hear you Mason, over!" Alex announced.
"Ah… Commander," Mason said with deadly calm. "Not to put a fly in your ointment old bean, but are you sure you dropped us off at the right planet?"
"Sure we are," Alex said. "We only visited two planets. How is Lemuria?"
"Difficult to say, old boy," Mason continued. "The planet doesn't correspond at all to our briefing. It's a lifeless black rock that is covered in ash. After walking over four kilometers we made it to some sort of outpost, but it seems abandoned. There's lots of scorch marks on the wall, and Phil says they were made with phase weapons, the kind that civilians are cleared to have. Outside there is a sign identifying the settlement as 'Hadley's Hope', population one fifty-eight. Inside the buildings have the logo of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, indicating that this is a commercial colony."
"Weyland-Yutani Corporation?" Marty used his hooves to tap some keys at his helm console. "Let me look this up." The zebra looked back at Alex. "They're at Colony LV-426!"
"The suicide mission!" Alex exclaimed. The lion shakily sat back down in the command chair and spoke to the wall. "Mason, is everything okay? Is your team all right?"
"Well, now that you mention it, Watchword managed to get this weird creature stuck to his face," the chimp replied. "The thing dropped off and Watchword seems fine now, but we're keeping an eye on him…" Suddenly the shriek of a chimpanzee cut Mason off. "What's that, Phil?" Mason asked. "What's happened to Watchword? He's been disemboweled you say? My word, that's awful! A creature burst out of his chest? Well where is it now? You don't know? How are the others? Well, I should say so…"
Alex, Marty, Melman, and Gloria grimaced during the description. Melman put his face in a bag and looked rather sick.
"Mason!" Alex cried as he jumped out of his chair. "Hang on! We're turning around! According to our information there should be a warp capable shuttle somewhere in the complex. Do you think that you and your team can get to it?"
"We'll give it a try Commander," Mason replied dryly. "Still, if you could get here as fast as you could we would be ever so grateful."
"Marty!" Alex's eyes were bulging out of his head. "Set course back to LV-426! Maximum warp!"
"Aye-Aye, Commander," the zebra quickly tapped his forehooves on the helm panel. "Maximum warp! Here we go!"
The Madagascar made a sweeping arc and disappeared in a flurry of special effects.
"I just knew I was going to mess up," Alex moaned in the captain's chair.
"Don't take it so hard, Alex," Marty consoled him. "We all messed up."
"I'm the ranking officer," Alex sighed. "When we all mess up, I mess up."
"Guys?" Melman used his long neck to interpose himself between the lion and the zebra. "Is traveling at maximum warp safe? I mean, in the original series they were always saying how the ship would break apart if it went too fast…"
"They stopped doing that in the eighties 'cause it was so corny," Marty assured him. "There is no 'the ship is about to fly apart' any more."
A burst of sparks flew from the zebra's control panel, startling everyone on the bridge.
"I stand corrected," Marty gasped.
"I knew it! I knew it!" Melman cried as he stumbled to the elevator. "I've got to get to engineering!" His head came out of the elevator to talk to the others. "I'll try to shut off the warp drive in engineering while you guys do what you can on the bridge, okay?"
"Okay!" Marty said as his hooves tapped across his smoking console. Alex bounded out of the command chair to sit at the identical console at the zebra's right.
"All hands, get to emergency stations," Gloria said into a microphone.
"Engineering!" Melman ordered the elevator as the others sprang into action. "GAH!" his eyes and tongue bulged out as the elevator doors closed on his neck.
Next: Meet Da King!