Hello readers! I'm back again, sorry for the really late update (If any of you are even still following this then.. . Anyway, I've changed the title of the fic and slightly censored the first chapter. Both just bothered me. Well, here's the next oneshot songfic!
Song: The Devil Went Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels
Just could sort of picture Ed and Roy having some sort of face-off like this.. and the song too, the rhythms... sorry if it's too.. AU/un-canon
I don't own the song or FMA.
Genre: Humor, Parody
The Devil, er, Colonel, Went Down to Georgia, er, Central
"Al, I don't really see why I have to do this-"
"Oh come on, it won't be that bad! Besides, you always did say you wanted to get back at him.."
"Ugh, how am I supposed to be a violinist if my fingers are metal?!"
"Not my problem brother! If you need anything else, I'll be down in the pit on the piano." Alphonse, restored to human form, walked smiling towards his position.
Edward just groaned, grabbed his violin, and trudged to the tape X on the small stage.
"Alright! Now, in our ongoing attempt to give everyone a chance to give thier coworkers something to laugh at, we are ecstatic to present the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric and the Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang doing their rendition of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" featuring Alphonse Elric on the piano!"
The curtains opened, and a single spotlight fell on Roy Mustang, carrying with him a golden violin and dressed in red and black. Then the music began and the narration.
The devil went down to Central,
He was lookin for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind
'Cause he was way behind
And he was willing to make a deal.
Roy smirked at Riza, who flatly responded, "No, you still have to do all your paperwork and I am NOT open to negotiations, no matter how far behind you are."
"You're no fun." Roy pouted.
Then, a second spotlight appearred on Edward, playing his own wooden violin in a plain white shirt and brown pants (A/N:going for the southwestern look.. trying)
When he came up this young man
sawin' a fiddle and playing it hot,
And the devil jumped
upon a hickory stump
And said boy, let me tell you what:
"Hey, Pipsqueak, wanna make a deal?"
"DON'T CALL ME SMALL!! I'LL SMASH THIS VIOLIN ON YOUR HEAD!!"
I guess you didn't know it,
But I'm a fiddle player too
And if you care to take a dare
I'll make a bet with you.
"For the last time I am NOT doing your paperwork you lazy bast-"
"Brother!"
Now you play a pretty good fiddle boy,
But give the devil his due.
I'll bet a fiddle of gold
Against your soul
'Cause I think I'm better than you!
"I thought transmuting gold was against the rules, Colonel"
"Oh, so you agree that I'm better than you?"
"SHUT UP I NEVER SAID THAT!!"
The boy said "My name's Edward,
And it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet
And you're gonna regret
'Cause I'm the best there's ever been!
Roy laughed. "Whatever you say, Shrimp."
Edward rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard,
'Cause hell's broke loose in Central and the devil deals the cards!
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold
But if you lose the devil gets your soul!!
"I'm already a military dog that can just transmute my "fiddle" into gold, so why the hell would I want to do that?"
"Because otherwise I'm telling your mechanic girlfreind that you broke both limbs while trying to sneak in her window-"
"Then I'm telling the Lieutenant the same thing."
"You realize that I'm right here, Fullmetal.."
The devil opened up his case
And he said, "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from his fingertips
As he rosined up his bow
"Was it really necessary to bring your gloves, sir?"
"Certainly, Lieutenant! How else can one fry shrimp?"
"YOU--"
"ED!"
Then he pulled the bow across the strings
And it made an evil hiss
And a band of demons joined in
And it sounded something like this:
Roy began to play, his bow moving fast as a blur and his fingers even faster. When he was finished, he snapped his fingers to create more dramatic effect by setting some paper streamers on fire as they fell around him. Needless to say there were quite a few women who swooned.
When the devil finished
Edward said, "You're pretty good old son,"
"Just sit right in that chair right there,
And let me show you how it's done!"
Ed then began to play, grdualy picking up speed and intensity as he went on.
He played Fire on the Mountain
Run boys, Run
The devil's in the House of the Rising Sun
Chicken in a bread pan pickin' out dough
Granny does your dog bite
No child, no
By now, Ed was playing just as fast (or faster) than Roy been playing before him. As he neared his big finish, sweat appeared on his forehead andhe gritted his teeth together. He ended his last note with a flourish and smiled very evilly at Roy.
The devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that golden fiddle
On the ground at Edward's feet.
"Gosh, I don't think I've ever seen a look of that much smugness in my life.."
"Not even from the Colonel."
"Now that's saying something!"
Edward said, "Devil, just come on back
If you ever want to try again
'Cause I've told you once, Colonel Bastard
I'm the best there's ever been!"
Roy walked off the stage all dignified in defeat, While Ed continued smiling and transmuted an effigy of himself smiling smugly in the direction the Colonel had left.
He played Fire on the Mountain
Run boys, Run
The devil's in the House of the Rising Sun
Chicken in a bread pan pickin' out dough
Granny does your dog bite
No child, no
Alphonse played Ed out, as he took a not-so-humble bow and walked backstage.
The audience cheered and laughed. Things were quite different backstage.
"The streamers, huh? Don't you think it's a little overkill?"
"Not as much as your little monument, Fullmetal."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE?!"
"By the way, I've won the bet, you know."
"You sure as hell did not, you damn Colonel!!"
"Of course I did. They cheered, so they enjoyed it."
"But they also laughed, implying that we humiliated ourselves."
"Now what's this about a bet?"
"Well, Alphonse, we made a little bet that if we did a good performance, then Ed would have to ask Winry out and he'd have to do my paperwork for a week. If we'd humiliated ourselves, then I'd have to ask the Lieutenant out and I'd do his paperwork for a week plus not call hims hort because he gets less paperwork than I do."
"Well that's stupid," Alphonse said. "Because you two did such a good performance of yourselves that you both were humiliated and put on a good show at the same time."
Ed and Roy looked at each other. "Well I still won." Both said at the same time.
-End-
Eh.. not my best. oh well, thanks for reading and please drop a review! If you want any specific songs, put 'em in a review and i'll write a songfic. Sorry, but I won't do any yaoi though.