"You hold the look of a man whose lost everything."
"There is a woman, a woman lost in time."
"I can see it in my dinners eyes when they have nothing left to live for."
His ship was shining golden as the coral theme radiated around him. He watched as lights imbedded in the hexagonal impressions blinked with power as the Doctor continued to press and tinker with a variety of different controls inside his more aged console. The Time Lord had to struggle not to squint at the bright light of his monitor; the Gallifreyan writings shining into his eyes while the sticky notes to the side reminded him of materials or parts he still needed to source.
But he was pulled from his thoughts regarding Shakespeare, the face of Boe and the Plasmavore when he thought he heard the rattling of a TARDIS grate. He had no idea what could have been causing it considering Martha had retired to her room no more than two hours ago. Sure, she may have been unable to sleep and sought his company but as he narrowed his hearing he was unable to hear any other disruptions.
Inside the TARDIS there was never a set bedtime. The nature of his travels meant that you could never tell if it was morning or evening and had he not had a human companion he would be out searching another planet in another time. However, it seemed he needed to reacquaint himself with the hours of isolation when his human companion needed sleep. Oh how he wished he could sleep sometimes, even then it may have passed at least a few hours while he waited.
But then his seclusion really shouldn't have come as a surprise. He knew that he was struggling to deal with several different aspects of his life; what with the kidnapping of his wife, his inability to find her and the yearning of his hearts as he desperately thought of any and every theoretical possibility to try and find her. For the first time in his life he had no idea what to do and he just prayed to whatever god would listen that she would soon be returned to him. The past seven years had been agony.
The Doctor had a nagging feeling within his heart that Martha knew he was hiding something from her but he refused to tell her. Did she expect him to open up about the horrors of his past after the second adventure? He had told her about his planets destruction, he had told her about the Daleks and he told her about the radiant orange sky created by the second sun that rose from the south. He had the courage to discuss the silver trees that shone like fire in the morning light and the beautiful melody that transected the forest when the wind blew though the leaves. He even had the audacity to tell her about his companions, more specifically Rose. He did not however discuss the seriousness of his relationship with her; for even though seven years had passed the pain of her absence was still too fresh.
A few years ago had he heard footsteps this early in the morning, he would have figured Rose was up and about, bounding into the console room with excitement at the prospect of discovering another ancient civilization or learning about the different customs of a planet many light years away from Earth. Her need to learn rivaled even his and before her disappearance her intellect and understanding had manifested itself to be greater than any human's. She was able to grasped hold of the complicated laws of time and paradoxes; she understood dimensional damns and how the interior of the TARDIS existed in a dimension different from the exterior and her retention of the information she would read in complicated text books would have even put Einstein to shame.
They were unsure as to how she was doing it until they met Donna Noble and the unfortunate incident with Huon Energy. It seemed BAD WOLF hadn't left her but became part of her. Her DNA had mutated, integrated with a foreign genetic code which was the reason why the Huon Energy was required; she needed an older and far more powerful energy supply to support the sudden introduction of a third DNA helix and a TNA structure that made the Time Lords so genetically superior. She was connected to the TARDIS's very heart; the residual energy had melded her genetics with the BAD WOLF and was changing her from the inside out. She could heal much faster than an average human which meant she could expose herself to higher levels of radiation, her retention of information was far greater than any human could even dream and her mental psychic capacity was greatly improved, so much so that the pair were able to form a deep telepathic bond, one that would rival any connection back on Gallifrey and symbolized there deep love for the other for few Gallifreyans ever experienced the connection the pair shared.
Which was why living without her was so painful. She had seen every inch of his consciousness; she had seen everything he had ever done, every wrong decision, his first wife, his children and his grandchildren, she knew everything about him. Rose in return had left no barriers and allowed him access to anything and everything he wanted to know. The golden light that symbolized her presence within his mind had been nothing but a tiny spark at the back of his mind for so long, letting him know that she was still alive but too far away to make contact.
So he kept searching. Every planet he landed on he hoped to find her, for any sort of sign of her, for their bond to be rekindled to allow for a conversation or some sort of location to find the other. But the universe is a big place and for all he knew, he may never find her again.
Nevertheless, the Doctor was pulled from the ponderings of his wife when he felt a soft nudging within his mind as the TARDIS tried to pass over her own comfort, to try and make her family feel a little better. The Time Lord just smiled up towards the time rota and thanked her with his mind for he knew that she too felt a hole within her heart that had once been occupied by his beautiful wife. It was also at that moment that he really did hear footsteps moving through the corridor and he moved his tools back into their box and underneath the grating of the console. He knew he should have tried to get at least an hours worth of sleep but he knew his nightmares would return and he would wake up feeling worse. Again he was abruptly pulled from his thoughts when he felt a hand being dragged across the back of his shoulders and his back. He couldn't stop the inward shiver for this was a motion his Rose had used many a time to try and calm and comfort him and he knew that when he opened his eyes she would not be standing there.
"Hey you awake?" The voice of his new companion asked, Martha's eyes kind and soft as she gave him a warm smile in hopes of breaking him from his trance.
"Awake and ready to go!" The Doctor enthused, breaking himself out of his melancholy almost instantaneous like a kid with bipolar disorder. "So, you've been to the past, and you've been to the future" He said with a twinkle shining in his eyes as he jumped around the console, preparing his ship for dematerialization as he altered certain buttons or flicked on switches. "Where to next?" He finished, wagging his eyes at her in excitement.
"How about New York…. Ah the past?" Martha asked loudly, her heart starting to thud in her chest as the anticipation of what was about to happen started to overwhelm her. Her smile simply widened when the Doctor stopped what he was doing to look at her and a large smile grew onto his face.
"I know just the place." He beamed before jumping around the console, taking off the break and forcing the TARDIS through the vortex and through time.