Hi every one,

Just want to give you a heads up, there are a few spoilers for what happen in CITY OF BONES, so please only read this chapter if you have read it or are planning on NEVER reading it- which would NOT be recommended because it is a FANTASTIC series and aiscat93 wrote a FANTASTIC fanfic on it... hint hint: READ HERS AND THE BOOKS!!!!

So anyway, this is a random chapter where we learn that all of EDWARD CULLEN's emotional issues, such as when he had an 'adrenalin rush' are explained. If you don't understand my terrible explanation in this chapter, I shall write an explanation at the bottom!

X

CHAPTER 2

Bella spent the next few days plotting and questioning EDWARD CULLEN at any chance she got:

"ohhhh, honey I feel funny..." she sighed dramatically. She turned to EDWARD CULLEN but instead received a full force thump to the forehead as 'Nessie' panicked, fearing the worst had happened to her beloved mother.

She used her form of 'communication' to show the disgusting picture of Bella giving birth to her, where Bella was green and screaming, her belly swollen, and obviously a LOT of blood.

Bella was thankful that the smell of blood had stopped making her feel sick, it was just another one of those things that had made her flawless, a perfect character, a plastic.

But hello, EDWARD CULLEN had ignored this graphic detail, and instead was jabbering on about something to do with 'Clary' and some randomer being related...

BIG WHOOP.

She sighed and hoped that EDWARD CULLEN would get over this irritating phase, and go back to being over in love with her, like a stalker. She nudged him and again attempted to draw him back to the bedroom, where for the last few months they had been constantly going.

At least now they didn't need protection. But they had constantly been spending more time in that ugly, banjaxed bed then with their child, luckily her supposed best friend had started to copy EDWARD CULLEN and was soon stalking the little girl too! Which made everyone happy... or did it?

Rosaline was very irritated with this scheme, because although she didn't tell anyone, she was secretly head over heels in love with Jacob the best friend/ newbie stalker. And her only way of showing any form of affection was through violence and bullying- just like that girl in the NICKTOONS cartoon 'Hey Arnold'.

But now her secret crush was stolen by the evil and manipulative fingers of a toddler. God.

EDWARD CULLEN sighed happily he had just finished City of Bones', and boy was he loving it!! He had felt the pangs of love the moment he read about Jace, the sensation of reading about this... MANLY boy was just entrancing!

Everything about the guy made perfect sense: a goddamn sexy DEMON hunter, with his battle scars and tousled hair, oh!! EDWARD CULLEN moaned, 'why, oh why can't fictional characters be real?' he asked himself for the umpteenth time.

Sure he got himself his 'own personal batch of heroin' and sure the smell of the girl made him want to eat her... but the stress!! Seriously, Jace was just perfect in every sense of the word; he was never the damsel in distress, he was her saviour! He never cried or let down his cool, plus he was just sooo mysterious- it made EDWARD CULLENS mouth water!

But thankfully EDWARD CULLEN didn't need to worry about actually killing him! He could just enjoy re-reading the enticing and hot description of JACE!!!!

Fluffy was looking at the blue prints of the Cullen household.

He just didn't get it, why did vampire humans have to go and SHOW OFF there wealth! Seriously a grand piano? A kitchen? When where they EVER going to use that? Oh and whats with the cross? We're not in the middle ages!

This would be an easy attack though, the 'family' had NO security at all, and there were even a bunch of werewolves in the bushes! Seriously, this was like "Fairytale Park Central", wolves, vamps, evil vamps!! Seriously were there no other places fo them to 'hang out'??

He baa-ed out a laugh, hang out... because they're Vampires... and bats hang...

...

No, not funny- that's like a roaming in Rome joke!

Also he noticed that there house was literally one big room, no hiding spots! This just became easier and easier!

EDWARD CULLEN went out hunting on his own...

Bella followed him...

OBIOUSLY!

She followed him carefully in to the woods, not making a single sound, gliding like the angle she wasn't.

He stopped.

He let out a warrior holler, and continued to put his lips to his wrist. Bella let out an inaudible gasp. He was BITING HIMSELF!!!

Yup, you've guessed it, EDWARD CULLEN is gay.

Now you understand why good old Steph made him look quite feminine... because he liked his men big, macho and... MASCULINE!!!

I would like to point out that I am the furthest thing from a homophobe without actually being gay. So just to make it clear I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND PEOPLE HERE!! I'm just in love with jace and think EVERYONE should too.

X