Zoe spent most of Tuesday trying to write her proposal for Professor Holmes. She left her dorm occasionally to pick up tea, but for the most part she stayed locked in and read a few pages her other professors assigned, thankful it wasn't already too much.
Despite her good intentions of having the paper complete, she couldn't get past the first paragraph. To be fair the instructions hadn't been very clear. That was one of the main stories Zoe had heard about him. He never explained much, just assumed that students knew what to do.
She sat in the computer lab staring at her work. "Over the course of this semester I would like to explore and connect the themes of change as well as progress in the human condition." She leaned back in her chair and debated deleting the entire document and just dropping the class. Maybe if she was honest from the beginning and admitted that she really was only grasping at straws he wouldn't think her as stupid as she felt. It was his job as a professor to help and give her suggestions. Deciding it would have to do she hit print, gathered her belongings and stopped off for a cup of tea before heading to her meeting.
Zoe wasn't surprised to find Professor Holmes' door shut. Her anger flickered slightly. What professor sets up an appointment and then not show? She found a chair near the door and sat down. Taking a sip of tea she realized her hands were shaking once again and decided it was best to grip the cup with both hands. Hearing floorboards creak she looked over and saw her professor.
"Apologies, Miss Ryan," he took a key out of his coat and unlocked the door.
"It's alright," Zoe gathered her bag.
He went over to his desk and began unbuttoning his coat, throwing it over his chair along with his scarf. She stayed in the doorway, staring around his office. It was remarkable. Books covered the floor to ceiling shelves. She then noticed the skull and her eyes widened slightly and Zoe herd him chuckle.
"Shall we get started?" Professor Holmes pointed at the empty chair across the desk as he sat down.
"Yes," Zoe unzipped her bag and pulled out her paper with one hand, the other still holding her cup and gave it to him.
"This is barely a paragraph."
"I know, I was hoping you could give me some suggestions on what to write."
"Change in the human condition?"
"It was just an idea; I'm not really sure what I was trying to say exactly." Zoe coughed and took a sip of tea.
Sherlock set down the paper and studied her. "Write about your disorder."
"I don't have any disorders," she said sternly, all nervousness gone.
"I beg to differ."
"What'd you mean?"
"Your body states otherwise. Your hands are shaking and were shaking in class."
"It's winter."
"Your blood sugar is probably low."
"What are you, a doctor?"
"You have teeth shaped scars on the back of your index and middle knuckles of your left hand."
Zoe quickly shook her sleeve down and clenched her jaw.
"On that note, your jaw is swollen. How many times a day? I'd say at least four. Need I continue?" He lifted a hand and waved it. He didn't give her a chance to speak before starting again. "You most likely left America due to loved ones being concerned and wanting to remain in your disorder until you killed yourself."
Zoe stood, swung her bag not caring that she knocked an object off his desk and headed towards the door. "I'm dropping your class."
"Well that much is obvious now that your little secret has been discovered someone will know and you'll start to feel guilt when you engage in behaviors. Do not mistake my being right as caring. You can say you're going to drop the class all you want but you won't."
"And how would you know?"
"Because writing is the only release you have that doesn't destroy you."
Zoe's hand tightened on the strap of her bag and she glared at the man who had figured out what took others nearly ten years.
"I have a friend who is taking clients," he said steeping his fingers together and leaning back in his chair.
"I don't need to see anyone. If you would excuse me, Professor," Zoe turned again.
"Miss Ryan, have a seat."
"I believe I already said I'm dropping the class."
"You and I both know that isn't going to happen. One more time, Miss Ryan, please have a seat. My friend actually specializes in disorders such as your own and owes me a favor of sorts."
"I don't have the funds to pay for it. I'm already in debt to student loans."
"Her name is Irene Adler," Sherlock continued again ignoring her as she moved to sit back down. "She will see you free of charge. Seeing her as well as taking my class and writing about the change and progress you're working towards with her will give you your capstone project."
Zoe fiddled with the paper sleeve of her cup, trying to process everything, avoiding eye contact. She heard him let out a sigh.
"A few years ago I disappeared for a while after doing something unforgivable in front of a friend. Scarred him for life. I understand the desire to simply not exist anymore. But coming back to life is a beautiful process and I'm sure your loved ones over in the states would be glad to see you alive again. I urge you to take my offer."
"This is so daunting."
"Is that a yes?"
"I...yes."