A/N: No, I wasn't going to post this, originally. I don't feel that this is anywhere near my best or funniest writing, and I'm still iffy about using Kata as a main character. I'm also going off Naru/Misaki (shock! horror! well, just shock then) and so that probably shows.

But... what's the point of this sitting around on my harddrive, when I spent so much work on it? Even if it's terrible, I'm sure I have plenty of other awesome bits in my other fics to keep up my image.

So, to everyone who likes Narumi, OCs and slash-

another very short chapter
because I fail at anything longer

Misaki did not think it was totally obvious. The only thing totally obvious to him was the urge to stab Takana (or at least gag her) together with Narumi (who would also need a straitjacket with that gag). Maybe there was some gene for annoyingness. Or at least a secret Alice for it. They could go off and have babies selectively bred for annoyance, who would then probably take over the whole Academy with their intense annoyingness, and then-

"Are you listening, Misaki?" said Serina.

"What!?"

"That's, like, a no?" said Kata.

"No, I was not listening," said Misaki, determined to stay in a Bad Mood. "What did you say?"

"Aren't you taking those pheromone suppressants any more?" said Serina (again).

"Yes," said Misaki.

"Are those things any good?" Kata said, wrinking her nose. "I thought they completely wore off after a few months. That's what I read in this really scientific journal thing."

"You're a chemist, you should know," Misaki said.

"Not Alice-chemistry," said Kata brightly.

"That would explain a lot," said Misaki to himself.

"What, like chemistry?"

Misaki and Serina didn't bother answering.

"Maybe you like him," Kata said when no-one said anything.

Misaki looked up in shock. "That doesn't work," he said. "Why would you even think that? I'm not gay!"

Serina also looked up from the dregs of her tea. "That could be a possibility," she said, slightly amused.

"No," said Misaki very firmly. He wasn't quite sure which part of his or Kata's sentence Serina was referring to, but it didn't really matter. 'No' covered every possibility. "I don't know where in hell you got that idea, but NO." He got up, and managed to dramatically storm off in an angry huff without any mishap this time.

"He does so like him," said Kata after he had gone.

XXX

At breakfast the next day, Misaki was still annoyed, and he said so in no uncertain terms. He had also given Narumi a very thorough shouting at last night, so he was hoping that Narumi might have gotten the point.

Narumi did get the point, but it wasn't as if he was going to do anything about it.

Besides, he was sure Misaki liked it really.

Probably.

Maybe.

Well, it was still fun. He beamed.

"What're you smiling at, dumbass?" said Misaki, who had probably just been lecturing him again.

"Nothing," Narumi said quickly.

Misaki looked at him through narrowed eyes and started eating his cereal. "And you know what's really annoying? That Chemistry woman, Kata, thinks I have a crush on you. This is all your fault."

"Do you?" said Narumi (curiously? Hopefully? It was hard to tell.).

"No!" said Misaki. "… and how did I know you were going to ask that?" he muttered in an undertone.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you did. After all, I am very beautiful… and entertaining… and wonderful in every possible way…"

"That's just arrogant," Misaki said, glaring at his cereal.

"Not when it's true," said Narumi (arrogantly).

"Shut up."

Narumi did shut up, but only because he was hungry and his toast was going cold.

"Great, that Kata woman's coming towards us," said Misaki, glancing at the door. "I'm going to go before I commit suicide from having both of you talking to me."

"Bye!" said Narumi cheerfully.

"Omigosh, you totally like him, don't you!?" said Kata, who had just slid into the newly vacated seat opposite Narumi.

"Huh?" Narumi said, toast in hand.

"I said, Anju, you so totally like him! You do remember me, right? I'm Kata, like katakana. Anyway, I can totally understand. He's kinda cute, isn't he?"

Narumi wasn't quite sure what to do with this woman. Normally, people were so… shy about these kind of things that it was easy to have his fun with them. He didn't really like it when it was the other way round. Also, she had just called him Anju, which was annoying enough in itself. Had someone (Misaki, most probably, in revenge for whatever Narumi had done) told her to call him that just to aggravate him?

"No, I don't," he said, a little more tetchily than usual.

"Oh, come on!" Kata said. She rolled her eyes dramatically. "You're all so… single in this place!" She flicked a piece of dark hair out of her eyes and ate some of Narumi's toast.

"Oi," Narumi said automatically in response to the toast-stealing. And also that comment. Misaki was right. Kata really was very annoying. Anyway, what was that sentence even supposed to mean? Huh.

"What?" said Kata through a mouthful of toast.

"I think you should stop sticking your nose into other people's business," said Narumi, letting his annoyance show. "It's amazingly irritating."

"Really?" Kata said. She looked much too wide-eyed and harmless to be believed.

"Yes," said Narumi, scowling.

"Oh, because I never thought of that before. I mean, yes, other people have told me that before, you know, but I don't really think so. I'm just saying. You get it, right?" She shrugged, looking as infuriatingly innocuous as anyone possibly could look, and started filling her water glass from her fingers.

This girl was impossible.

"Well, I think so," said Narumi. He gave her a mini-glare.

"So yeah, anyway, don't you think Serina and Jinno-sensei have something going on? I swear, they're always together. Like, seriously. And you know how you and Misa-"

"Excuse me while I knock you out," Narumi said, having run out of whatever patience he had once had.

"Come again?" Kata said, looking up from the Alice-produced water trickling into the glass.

There were a few moments of confusion, pheromones and irate flirting (if that can be imagined), and then Kata was lying in an unconscious heap on the table. Narumi arranged her arms artistically around the plates, and then left.

XXX

"Narumi, please take responsibility for this," Serina said wearily.

"You were also annoyed with her!" said Narumi.

"Yes, but I didn't knock her out," Serina said in a tone of finality. "Although I do see why you might have done it, you do still have to have some sort of punishment."

"Really…?" Narumi wondered about the consequences of knocking out Serina-sensei as well.

"You would just get a bigger and better punishment later," Serina said.

Narumi sighed, fluttering his eyelashes. "You know me too well."

Serina finished scribbling on the piece of paper in her hand and gave it to Narumi. "You're to cover this half of Sakamoto's classes for the day. Have fun."

XXX

Narumi did not like teaching very much.

"Why are you here then?" said Misaki, looking as grumpy as usual. That was good – it meant that he wasn't especially grumpy. Maybe he had gotten over yesterday's events (which perhaps was not a good thing in the long run for Misaki, as Narumi would then take this as an invitation to do more of it).

"Because… okay, I do like teaching and helping all the children, but I don't like all these lessons and planning and all that stupid stuff," Narumi elaborated. "Is that better?"

"No."

"Oh, but come on… teaching Chemistry to those Middle Class A kids in ten minutes? It's... urgggghhh."

"Still not better. Isn't the Sakura girl in that class?"

"Oh yeah!" said Narumi, brightening up. "I wonder what Mikan thought of Kata?"

"How would I know?" Apart from knowing exactly who Mikan was and trying (and failing) to teach her the rudiments of Biology in science classes, Misaki wasn't particularly interested in her. At least, not in the way that Narumi was.

(Not in that way, perverts.)

"She probably really liked her," said Narumi to himself. "But then again, if she gets along with Hotaru Imai and Natsume… hmm… actually, I think this is Middle A's first Chemistry lesson of the week, isn't it?"

"Naru, if Yuka hadn't existed, would you even be in this Academy right now?"

Narumi opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. "Where did that come from?"

"Go and get the hair guy to teach your classes," said Misaki, getting up and leaving.

XXX

"Hi, Narumi-sensei!" said Mikan, hurrying into the classroom. "Am I late? Oh no, I hope I'm not! Am I?"

"No, you're fine," said Narumi, smiling at her. "Is everyone else here?"

"Oh good," said Mikan with relief as the rest of the class rumbled a "yes". Then she remembered what subject Narumi taught. "Is this a Japanese lesson? I thought it was science! Did I bring the wrong textbook again?"

"No, but your Chemistry teacher is a little sick today, so I'm taking some of her lessons until she's better," Narumi explained. "Everyone, get out your Chemistry textbooks and turn to page 5. Natsume, do stay in this classroom… unless I take it that you want a kiss?"

Natsume glared daggers – no, poison-tipped barbed javelins – in response to Narumi's suggestive smile, and slouched down at his desk. "Where's the hairy guy?" he muttered. At least then he could've skived off without any hassle.

"He's visiting his parents," said Narumi cheerfully, while also thinking along the same murderous thoughts as Natsume – though maybe not quite so strongly.

"Who's the new teacher?" shouted a boy from the back of the class.

"I heard she's really hot," said another. Narumi couldn't quite see who it was, but it looked like that fox-eyed kid.

"Koko, if you agree with him you are officially dead meat," said Sumire, scowling.

"She's very nice," said Narumi. "And remember to be nice to her when you see her next lesson. Actually… well, just be yourselves."

XXX

Misaki's next lesson was with Senior A. As much as he loved being a teacher, there were some days when he didn't know how anyone could cope with students like these. Of course, he wasn't going to admit it to Narumi. Because then that idiot would say something like, "See! That's exactly what I was saying at lunch!"

"What's the new teacher like?" said Tsubasa.

Misaki sighed. Just because Alice Academy was such a tiny school… even the most unexciting news became practically The Story Of The Century in this place.

"She's… talkative," he said to the class.

"Apparently she's really cool. You know, she went here six or seven years ago… isn't that right?" someone else said. He couldn't see who it was – the plants of Greenhouse B were really in need of some trimming.

"She was here six years ago, yes," said Misaki. "Please get on with your work, and no more silly questions." He sat down at the front desk and tried to look intimidating. (It had always been a mystery to him as to why there was a desk in Greenhouse B, although he had to admit it was quite useful. But we digress.)

Not that that was going to stop them. "That guy from Middle C told me she was kinda hot too," said Tsubasa in a slightly quieter tone as he fiddled with his Petri dishes.

"What, a teacher!?" said Misaki Harada with some surprise.

There was a silence as the girls of the Technical class turned to look at Misaki Harada as one, all wearing the same indignant glares.

"What?" she said.

"Don't ever say that again!" hissed one of the girls. "Just because a person is slightly older than us or is teaching at-"

"Oh right, I forgot I was talking to the Misaki-sensei-fanclub," said Misaki (Harada), turning back to Tsubasa. "How does this guy know, any-"

"Are you even listening to us!?" the leader of the Misaki-sensei-fanclub said.

"Uh… no," said Misaki (Harada). She didn't have much patience with fanclubs. "Besides," she continued airily, "isn't he gay? I always thought he had a thing for Naru."

"I thought it was the other way round," said Tsubasa, frowning.

"You two are impossible!" screeched the fanclub leader. It was at this moment that Misaki (the teacher), who had been half-heartedly eavesdropping on this conversation with a much too familiar sinking feeling in his stomach, finally got up to see who those annoying chatterers were. Then he gave them all a good piece of his mind.

Stupid kids.

TBC.

A/N: I'm semi-leaving fanfiction writing because I am so very busy. I don't want to leave completely, and I don't think I ever will - however sparse my updates and PM replies may be, I'll still be hanging around, leaving reviews on anything Sumire/Koko or slash-like, and generally keeping an eye out for good writers. ^^